sitting under my own private toadstool

I love living in 2026 because I go to Home Depot and buy a 5-gallon bucket for $4. I say I do not want an email receipt. They know my email anyway because I once ordered a mop online. They email me to ask how I like my 5-gallon bucket. I do not reply. They email me again. They would like my feedback. Reminder ‼️I have purchases to review. Did my 5 gallon bucket live up to my expectations? 3 minute survey!!

My Eyes Keep Travelling Upwards Lately Because The Sky Is My Best Friend, No Offence To My Other Friends

they have to release me back into the wild but they can't because I imprinted on a mop

when u think about his soulful brown eyes…

it doesn't matter which country we're talking about here, if someone from any country in the world says "oh where i am from there is simply no racism", you not only shouldn't believe them, but you should actually never take them seriously about anything ever again.

really seeing the difference in how tme nonbinary people are treated vs tma nonbinary people demonstrated concisely in the promo material/interviews coming out ahead of teenage sex and death at camp miasma & how comments are needing to be limited or turned off only on videos of jane schoenbrun speaking and not on those of jack haven

also i somewhat suspect that the smaller scale harassment & smearing calling schoenbrun a pedophile for making a movie with the words "teenage sex" in the title will go a little more mainstream post-release and when you're talking about how stupid this is i need you to recognize that it is specifically happening because the director is transfem and not simply as the result of a nebulous "cultural puritanism"

i see a curved penis and i want to fix that shit. it's not that it's gross i just bet an hour in a bench vice would make that shit shoot straight. i wanna comically spin the handle and wrench it tight with the skill of a shop teacher that's been doing this for years. safety goggles on. heavy duty gloves. op! be careful of the clenching back there. that's how Ms. Paradise lost a pinky in college.

girl why is your pussy trying to take me on the road less traveled. fucking that thing i hear google maps say "exit left." trying to hit your spot but your pussy said that's not part of the guided tour. your shit is so twisted the people's joker took it to her doctor saying "like this please." I KNOW she WILL be comin around the mountain when she comes! i always wanted a girl who turned heads, but this is ridiculous!!!

memes aside it does feel important to note that "christian babies" do not exist! the proper term is "abused child"