Sugar Peanuts

Golden rays of late evening slip through the canopy overhead, outlining the colorful veins on the leaves still valiantly clinging to their branches, the entire forest is bathed in the flames of autumn, bright yellows, deep purples and ardent orange interspersed between those stubborn evergreens. Remnants of the earlier rainfall paint them all in even richer hues, lingering droplets adding to the array of strung crystals trickling from every tree in sight.

One such droplet slips from a branch high above, landing right on the part of Cyri's hair. She raises a hand to her head, scowling at the canopy with silent reprimand.

Bellara bemoaned the rain when it came an hour ago, heavy and swift as the storms of late summer often are. Cyri had attempted to quell her smile as they watched the rain pour, but hadn't quite managed it.

She was reasonably chastised for holding such a cavalier attitude. It was then that Cyri had decided to cut down on the amount of serials she brought on her visits to Arlathan.

Now, with still-damp bark undoubtedly sticking to the back of her clothes and snagging in loose strands of hair, she wonders if they shouldn't have written off the entire venture.

The nerves had begun setting in a short time ago, no matter how unwarranted. It didn't seem to matter the amount of times she reminded herself that she'd faced armies, blight and gods with less trepidation, her heart still insists on buzzing about in her chest like a bee around a particularly vibrant patch of wildflowers.

It's steadied only a little by the ginger-and-heartwood scent that wraps itself around her with his warmth as Davrin leans forward to peer around the trunk of a tree just wide enough to hide them both. She studies the planes of his face like the beloved page of a well-loved novel as he assesses the waiting fray.

"This is stupid," she reminds him—though even to her own ears it doesn't sound much like a complaint.

"It is," Davrin agrees, though there's a glimmer of entertainment in his brown eyes when they light on her again. "But it was your idea."

Her eyebrows pull together, the scowl even more artificial than her earlier complaint. "My idea?"

He just grins at her, unwavering, while little rainbows dance over dark skin.

Which she supposes is warranted, considering that it had indisputably been her idea—in concept at least. Of course, at the time she'd failed to foresee the affair it would blossom into. Given Bellara's enthusiasm for most things, that was also Cyri's mistake.

One that could be explained away by the fact that she'd woken this morning feeling not quite herself.

The shift was subtle, certainly. Inconspicuous.

But for the first time inn several years, Cyrilla Mercar had woken up without a shred of fear or uncertainty. Nightmares had not chased her from sleep, and she hadn't woken wondering at the reality of the soft sheets or the faint sun light peering through the curtains. She'd been sure of the warm flank pressed to her back, and didn't once question the scrabbling claws on the wood floor.

She was safe, and she was home and she was sure.

Feeling uncharacteristically brave and entirely unwilling to let the moment pass without doing something about it, she'd leapt out of bed with inexorable volition—permitting Davrin absolutely none of the peace she'd found upon waking. Considering that her sudden bout of mayhem, resulted in his being woken by the tunic she'd hurled at his sleeping form, he's been rather patient about the whole thing.

Even now, the grin he offers her is incredibly indulgent and impossibly warm. She has only a moment to bask in it before that smile brushes her jaw, and then her cheekbone. Her face is already warm, cheeks aching from the effort of maintaining the facade of defiance when his lips touch the corner of her mouth. In the end though, she's the one who kisses him.

She expects that was the point.

It has a distinctly stolen quality to it, this kiss. An air of exhilarating impropriety that likely has everything to do with the fact that Bellara had given her best effort to keeping them apart for the larger part of the afternoon. She hadn't been entirely successful, though their interactions had been effectively limited to lingering glances and knowing smiles. The occasional exchanged eye roll. Brushing of fingers and now, what has turned into an increasingly impious exchange against the backside of a tree trunk.

All flushed cheeks and short breath, Cyri sucks in the still-damp air, her fingers having slipped just beneath his waistband. His skin is deliciously warm against her knuckles, the barest stubble of his cheek pleasantly scraping her jawline.

"It was entirely your idea," he murmurs fondly into the exposed skin at the juncture of her shoulder.

ANIMALS:

catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear

piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave

pluto-lichen: horses

misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like

pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially

SEX:

dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.

dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”

SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad

shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze

sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon

alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices

dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.

the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes

typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy

draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices

11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note

fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is

emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣

NON-FOOD STUFF:

red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.

bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket

nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English

sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp

danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author

meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does

vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'

leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake

fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?

dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic

msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate

shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September

baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird

twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)

waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up

violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours