:)

you put your pen down, eyes shutting tightly as you tried your hardest to focus on your revision. it was 9pm in the evening, surely he could have warned you prior to this? you had asked him multiple times throughout the week, and even gone so far as to leave a reminder of your exam in your shared calendar in the kitchen. whatever juyeon wanted, he would do and it was tiring.

you sighed loudly, groaning as another one of his loud cheers vibrated in your small room. you stood up, gathering your things before slipping on a hoodie, and grabbing your revision materials. you couldn’t stay here any longer.

slipping out of your room was easy enough, but going out undetected? no chance. you had to walk through the living room to get to the door, so you braced yourself with a frown as you slipped through.

the first to notice you was jimin, a sheepish grin forming on his face as he took you in. “fuck, were you revising y/n?”

“juyeon man, you said she was out for the night.” namjoon scowled, the boys embarrassed that they had disturbed you with their loud chatter.

juyeon rolled his eyes. “what’s the big deal? she’s leaving now anyway.”

you stole a glance at him, frown deepening with a small mutter under your breath. his blatant disrespect was jarring at best, but you could see a flicker of annoyance run through the group of boys at his flippancy.

“it’s fine, don’t worry. i’m going to go see yejin, i’ll be back in the morning.” you mumbled quietly.

you shuffled to the kitchen which connected to your living room in an open plan sort of way. you collected a water bottle, packing some little snacks for yourself as you tried to ignore the way tensions had clearly risen in the group. there was a sneaky suspicion in your heart that juyeon’s friends were tired of his selfish ways, but yet again could you blame them? he truly had little regard for anyone but himself, no doubt morphed to be this way at the hands of your parents.

your eyes flickered upwards, secretly, to land its self on the group who were now talking amongst themselves. they slowly trickled until you found your target. the object of your desires and the demanding thump in both your heart and mind. stone faced and quiet - jungkook sat at the end of the couch with a beer in hand, dressed in his usual attire of dark clothing, his eyes already trained on you.

you looked away immediately, embarrassed of being caught looking at him - your brain refused to acknowledge the fact he was watching you first.

jungkook was an enigma that had troubled you from the moment you had met him. usually quiet, and awfully mysterious, you knew enough about the tall man to know that he was everything you had ever wanted and yet could not have. he never spoke to you, but you’d always catch him looking, something you chalked to him being curious. he was an observer, and it scared you to think he could probably read you like an open book.

it wasn’t healthy, this deep, twisted obsession of yours. there were nights you couldn’t even sleep, thoughts plagued by dark hair and darker eyes, or tatted hands you could only ever wish would find their home between your legs. you knew jungkook was someone you wanted more than anything, but you had come to the conclusion that he unfortunately just couldn’t be yours.

if only you knew how deep his own infatuation ran for you.

he didn’t like juyeon. quite frankly, he couldn’t stand the boy - he found him to be impish in the worst ways possible, rude and selfish. his blatant disregard towards you and your feelings was something that enraged him beyond belief, something he never truly understood until he once had come home with him for christmas only to find your parents babying him like no other. though you weren’t present that year, for reasons he couldn’t figure out, it took no genius to come to the conclusion that you did not receive the same treatment.

your lips, eyes and pretty face were enough to drive him insane. you were extremely quiet, to a fault to others but to him? you were perfection reborn, there was little you could do without it being deemed a masterpiece. he’d often come over with the boys who he adored simply for a promised glance at you, agreeing to grab something from juyeon’s bedroom with the mere understanding that he would get to walk past your own, being hit with a tidal wave of your perfume.

but it was your laugh that truly unraveled him. he’d heard it for the first time when you were sat in the university canteen, sat beside your friend yejin who was telling you a funny story. you had tipped your head back and laughed so freely that he was enamoured, he’d never seen you so loud, so unashamed to be heard.

he was desperate to claim you as his own, to hold you and smother you with his disgustingly obsessive love until you too felt the same way as he did. he knew his feelings for you were perhaps unnatural, too deep to be considered normal or even too passionate to be deemed sane. he didn’t care. you were his, you just didn’t know it yet.

jungkook watched as you packed your bag, hobi frowning again at the sight of you being dispelled from you home. “hey, y/n.” he called, getting up. “we don’t mind leaving, your brother might be a prick but we’re happy to go so you can study.”

a little, faint grin formed at your lips at the sound of your brother being insulted. juyeon scowled again, shaking his head. “she’s already going, why are you all so bothered? leave already.” he grumbled at you.

you rolled your eyes before grabbing your keys. “thank you, hoseok. don’t worry, but that’s sweet of you.”

jungkook’s jaw clenched tightly at the sight of your brother openly dismissing you. he wanted no more than to plow him to an inch of his life for even thinking negatively about you, but he knew that wouldn’t be something you wanted. he thought of you first, always.

you took a peek at the tatted man once more, eyes trailing over the slope of his nose and narrowed eyes, tense jaw and parted lips. god, those lips. with your eyes shutting tightly momentarily, you walked out of the apartment to do the small walk to yejin’s, cheeks flushed and heart pumping.

he was ruining you from the inside out and had no idea. little did you know, his heart was bursting out of his chest at the mere thought of you, sat on your couch, with clenched hands and tense shoulders.

jungkook wanted, no, needed you. and he was sick of waiting around.

——

“why do you put up with this shit?” your best friend, asked with a hiss, as she walked through your apartment two weeks later.

juyeon had decided to throw a party, on the one night that you stayed over at your friend’s, taking full advantage of the fact you weren’t home to stop him. you closed your eyes tightly, tears springing to life as you tried to control your emotions at the sight in front of you.

empty cans of beer everywhere, with rubbish in every inch of the apartment. things were moved, pushed or even broken - the state of your kitchen alone was something that made you want to burst out crying out loud. yejin noticed your reaction and immediately took your hand in hers, sighing deeply.

“call your parents. i’m packing your stuff up, i’m not letting him do this to you again.” she firmly shook her head before giving your head a little kiss and marching her way ahead.

you took a few deep breaths, both in and out, hands shaking as you found more and more things that had been broken. your cute nintendo switch that you had bought as a congratulatory gift for passing your first year exams sat on the couch, demolished. you noticed a pair of your shoes half way across the room, soiled in something you didn’t even want to discuss. but worst of all, the pictures you had dotted around your living room of yourself and your friends, or sweet childhood memories, laid broken and smashed without a care in the world.

you called your mum first, biting your lip to stop the incoming tears that were fighting to be released. you were a weepy person by nature, always crying and always teary, but this - you were about to have a breakdown.

“mum?” you sniffled, once she answered the phone.

“what’s wrong, y/n?”

your relationship with your parents was an enigma. both tolerable until the conversation had anything to do with your older brother. it had been made apparent to you throughout your entire life that they never intended on a second child, they only ever wanted one boy and so you were naturally a spare - whatever juyeon did was correct, and if you had anything to say about it, quite frankly, they didn’t care. their favouritism truly knew no bounds, so much so that you didn’t bother even coming back for holidays. the worst thing is, they hardly noticed.

“juyeon..” you started, taking some audible deep breaths. “mum, he’s had a party, everything is broken, the whole place is trashed there’s..there’s liquid everywhere, and cans, and rubbish, all of our things…” you choked.

there were a few beats of silence. “have you cleaned it?” your mother simply replied.

you too take a moment to let her words sink in, your eyebrows narrowing. “mum, what? the entire place is ruined, he’s..he’s let them just come in, he hasn’t even asked me, my things are everywhere.”

“have you cleaned it?” she sternly responded, making your eyebrows furrow deeper, your frown big and head swarming.

“why should i clean it?”

“because.” she simply huffed. “he has his exams soon, so what if he’s blowing off some steam? god, don’t be so uptight, y/n.”

“mum, i have my exams too, how are you..why aren’t you saying anything? this isn’t normal, he’s wrecked our apartment and that’s supposed to be okay?”

“i’m going out for lunch with your uncle, y/n, so just tidy the place up and get over it.”

you watched as the phone call ended, tears having left your eyes involuntarily as they seeped down your face. yejin returned to the living room with a packed bag for you, grimacing. you were afraid to see what your room looked like.

“y/n, i love you so much..” she began, walking over to you and grabbing a hold of your face. “but fuck your parents and fuck that bastard brother of yours, this shit isn’t normal.” she huffed, seething at the thought of the people closest to you consistently hurting you.

you simply nodded, crying in her arms as you took a hold of some things you wanted to take with you. yejin was pretty well off, and had been begging you to move out from the second you met her. it was unfortunate that you were taking her on her offer due to such a circumstance, but you were exhausted from this all.

“let me grab your bathroom stuff, okay? just take a seat, don’t worry, we’ll get out of here.” she promised you, helping you take a seat on what seemed like the only clean part of the couch.

through another round of deep breaths and screwed eyes, you heard the door knock. you sniffled through your cries, standing up to shakily answer it whilst your best friend grimaced and gagged.

you were met face to face with namjoon, yoongi and jungkook. the former, who had been the one to knock, smiled at you before immediately frowning, a startled noise coming out of his mouth.

“what the fuck?” yoongi exclaimed, noticing the pure carnage behind you. this was enough to make you cry harder.

jungkook stood, heart pounding and hands shaking. you were crying? y/n, his y/n? it didn’t take long for him to put two and two together as you moved to the side to let them in, your eyes shutting quietly as your hands shot to cover your face.

jungkook stepped inside, after the other two, all three in utter silence. he immediately turned so he was near you, his presence alone oddly calming to your state as he took you in.

“y/n?” he softly whispered.

a tone gentler than most and certainly sweeter than he had ever been able to produce for any other person in his life, yoongi found himself doing another double take at the mere sound of it. you let your hands slip, peering up at him through reddened cheeks and teary eyes, your chest stilling slowly. he looked utterly distraught, his hands visibly shaking as they slowly reached for you.

“oh, look what the fucking cat dragged in.” yejin hissed as she came out of the bathroom, her short hair clipped. “you lot have some nerve showing up.”

“what did we do?” namjoon’s eyebrows furrowed as he grimaced at the sight of the floor, confusion littered over all three of the boys’ faces.

she scoffed. “you mean to tell me none of you knew your best friend was throwing a party and trashed the place?”

“listen, he told us he was having a gathering but we were all busy. taehyung came for like 5 minutes but juyeon was being a dick, so he left immediately.” yoongi shook his head with a furrow of his brow. “what the fuck happened?”

“what do you think?” yejin hissed again. “juyeon does whatever he wants, and it’s one thing if he wants to ruin his life, but ruining y/n’s too? i’m sick of him, and i can’t believe you guys aren’t.”

namjoon was picking up shards of glass and placing them on the table with a frown. “believe me, if any of us knew he was planning this we would have never, ever let him.” he turned to you. “i promise y/n.”

you couldn’t really think. you were so overwhelmed, all of your belongings utterly trashed whilst the infatuation of your very being stood in front of you with shaky hands and eyes that were openly trained onto you. jungkook couldn’t bring himself to look away, fingers brushing over your stomach so faintly you wondered if he was even touching you.

“don’t cry. i’ll fix this.” he promised you, quiet and as though it was for you to hear alone.

you wiped your eyes, chest heaving and breaths erratic. “promise?”

“promise you, i’ll handle it.”

yejin could hardly believe what she was seeing, but considering it was evidently giving you comfort, she let it slide without comment. she sighed loudly as she looked to the other boys.

“fine, you can both at least help then. can you take this stuff to my car, here are my keys.” she handed them over to namjoon. “and can you just help me go into y/n’s bedroom? there’s a guy on her bed and i don’t want to go in alone again.” she grimaced to yoongi who nodded immediately, puffing his chest a little.

she turned to jungkook. “and you. you just..continue.”

he acknowledged her with a brief look before returning his attention to you. you looked so small and vulnerable and it was making him angry - how could your brother do this to you? jungkook didn’t like him much at all, but this? this felt enough to fuck him up, easy.

“are you staying at yejin’s?” he asked you. he was speaking to you more in this current conversation than you were sure you had conversed ever.

you sniffled, wiping your eyes again. “yeah, i think. she’s been asking me to move in with her for so long but..but my parents and..you know.” you all but whimpered, head tilting downwards.

god, his jaw was clenching. he fucking hated your family more than words could describe, but your parents were what truly disgusted him. he had spent that christmas over at your house and yet not a mention of you, not a picture nor any inkling that you even existed - these weren’t people worthy of his respect and certainly not your love.

“i’ll handle this, y/n. okay? don’t need to cry, and definitely don’t need to stress.” he assured, his fingers by his side but he longed to touch you. to caress your face and bring you in intimately.

“why would you do that?” you asked, breathing slowly but surely getting better. “you know how he is, he won’t speak to you again.”

jungkook’s eyes narrowed, alongside his eyebrows. “do you really think i have him in my life for his friendship?”

it was your turn for your eyebrows to furrow. “then what other reason would you tolerate all of his shit?”

it was then when you could see a shift in jungkook. the sweet tone he had been using with you shifted to his very being, his lips parting and his eyes searching yours. he opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself and for a rare moment, you noticed he hesitated, eyes flicking downwards before meeting your gaze again.

“surely…surely you must know.” he whispered, gently. softly. desperately.

before you could even respond, namjoon came back into the apartment with a grimace as the scent hit him once more. yejin and yoongi grumbled as they came back into the living room, making you step away from jungkook with a deeper flush on your cheeks. you hadn’t even noticed how close you were getting to each other, but the sudden realisation of everything was becoming too much.

despite everything, it was the protectiveness shown by jungkook that was shaking you. you couldn’t think, not when he was like this, not when you were experiencing him for the first time - it was both longing and primal need that made you want to desperately grab him and ask him to explain but it was the overwhelming sense of exhaustion that kept you grounded.

“come on, pretty flower, let’s get you settled into my place.” yejin practically cooed at you, taking a hold of your hand as she pulled the final bag over her shoulder containing a few intact clothes.

“we’ll handle everything here.” yoongi assured, giving you a nod.

you simply nodded back, taking yejin’s hand as you followed her, eyes drifting to jungkook momentarily.

“everything.” he promised, again.

——

the next few days were easily some of the worst of your life. the constant berating from both of your parents, with your father calling multiple times to demean and belittle you over his prized son. the sheer amount of tears that were shed in yejin’s arms were enough for the already angry girl to ready herself to kill your brother.

today was the first time you were leaving the house, after much persuading from your best friend to finally get some fresh air. you knew that to some it was ridiculous to be this upset over material objects, but your clothes carried memories, the pictures around your apartment were nostalgic reminders of joy and frankly, your 4 walls a home.

knowing your brother had carelessly done what he had done without even so much of a message of apology hurt even more, followed with the cruel treatment of your parents? this all felt like a goodbye, a painful and cruel prolonged one at that.

so you walked, quietly, with your head down in a hoodie and leggings as you headed towards your local coffee shop. you weren’t too sure about what you were going to do with your afternoon but you figured a drink would help at the very least. lord knew you deserved one.

the bell above the door jingled as you walked in, under-eyes slightly sunken and redness occupying the space around it, a blaring indicator of your mental state. you queued up in the far too long line, letting your thoughts drip away.

regardless of how distraught you felt, you also couldn’t help the overwhelming sense of confusion at the thought of jungkook. he had spoken to you, so candidly, so clearly - more than every conversation in the fruition of your relationship. his promise to you was something you understood to be a simple act of reassurance, but you had no idea how severely he meant it.

his mere presence was comfort in a bottle, and it unnerved you. the object of your desires and the thump in your heart, it was ridiculous how even in moments like this, you couldn’t bring yourself to think about much else other than his scent of pine and smoke.

you were pulled out of your gaze as you realised it was your turn to order, to which you did, slowly pulling out your bank card. before you could even tap the little plastic, you watched as a hand darted out from behind you, handing over cash to which the cashier heartily accepted.

those tattoos, the vein running from the bottom of the hand to the arm - you’d recognise it anywhere. you had memorised it enough from afar. your heart was beating so fast so suddenly, and you shuffled to the side to allow another customer to order before turning around.

black attire as per usual, jungkook stood in front of you, eyes heavy as they roamed over every inch of you. his eyes flickered up again to meet your gaze, strong and defiant as your hands began to shake gently.

“you didn’t have to do that.” you whispered, voice tired and croaky from days of using it merely to cry.

he didn’t respond. he simply clenched his jaw slightly in response before moving past you, fingers gently brushing against your hip as a means to ask you to follow him. you did, of course.

he brought you to a quiet table, window seat, right in the corner of the cafe, hidden away from wandering eyes. he stood in front of you, pushing you towards the comfortable seat to which you found yourself plopping in. your brain was whizzing at a thousand miles per hour and yet the only thing you could make out was jungkook. him. him. him.

he walked over to the cashier and grabbed your prepared drink before seating himself in front of you. hungry eyes draped all over him, his broad shoulders that restricted the view of you to anyone else and the way his hair looked slightly messier than usual. you noticed a slight bruise on the tops of his cheek.

“drink.” he murmured, voice akin to gravel as he pushed your iced coffee towards you.

with shaking hands, you did exactly that, feeling his eyes heavy on you.

“what happened to your cheek?” you asked, quiet and curious.

he didn’t bother responding, simply looking away with a clench of his jaw. you tilted your head in response, he was acting odd, and though you hardly had an established relationship, his mannerisms were familiar enough to you that you understood him to be different at this very moment.

“jungkook?” you pushed again with confused eyes.

the lack of a response was making you agitated, especially once his dark eyes sat back on you and simply began exploring. your eyes, to your nose and lips, jaw, cheeks and hair. the older man had no qualms about doing what he wanted, and he was showing it.

your eyebrows furrowed, annoyance seeping into your bones at the lack of responses. if he wasn’t going to speak to you, why would he have sat down here? a little huff left you as you began to stand, only for him to lazily look up once more. “sit down.”

“no.” you huffed again. “usually when someone asks you a question, you respond.”

“you won’t like the answer.” he lazily responded, grabbing your drink and taking a sip, lips wrapping around the same straw you used. “this tastes like shit.”

your eyebrows furrowed even more, hand darting to take your drink back and sipping again for good measure. the warped, feral being in your brain was screaming at the thought of indirectly touching jungkook’s lips but even you drew a line somewhere.

“why won’t i like it? also shut up, it’s yummy.”

his lips lifted at the corners. “i handled it.”

you sat back down without thinking. handled it? “what?”

he didn’t push, simply tapped his fingers against the table whilst looking back at you. eye contact was difficult to maintain when the object of your affections sat so leisurely in front of you, a setting that most certainly was unheard of for the both of you.

“have you been sleeping?”

“jungkook, what do you mean you handled it?” you ignored his question. of course you hadn’t slept.

“why aren’t you sleeping? have your parents said something to you?” he asked with a sudden scowl. “or juyeon?”

“are you seriously going to ignore all of my questions and ask me new ones?”

“mine are more important.” he murmured, darting for your drink again, despite the straw being lightly trapped between your lips. you watched as he took a sip anyway, eyes never leaving yours.

you swore you stopped breathing for a moment, blinking rapidly. “my dad called..”

“hm?” he pushed. “what did he say?”

you couldn’t bring yourself to respond, eyes glazing over almost immediately with memories of the absolute disgust he had thrown at you. you couldn’t believe how cruel he had been, backed by your mother of course, despite the situation at hand leaving you a victim.

jungkook noticed the way your eyes began to gloss, and your bottom lip began to quiver slightly. “y/n?” he murmured, so quiet and only for you to hear.

“said that i was stupid..” you whispered back. “that he’d never forgive me for stressing juyeon out during exam season and that i’m a horrible daughter and sister…”

your hands were shaking again. he pushed the drink back so you would have something to hold onto. he knew you better than you knew yourself, and he was sure if you understood the true gravity of his obsession, you’d run. if only he knew how desperately you reciprocated.

you were pulled out of your trance from the sound of a scoff, before jungkook kissed his teeth. “fucking idiots.” he all but hissed, running a hand through his hair. his bruise looked so purple, you longed to touch it, press into it even until he winced. you wanted him to react to your touch.

you didn’t respond, perhaps unsure, simply taking another sip from the now shared drink. the straw was the only thing that had separated your lips, a level of intimacy that was pounding at your heart whilst your brain was left muddled in emotion you couldn’t decipher.

“why won’t you tell me what happened to your cheek?” you murmured, half through the turmoil you were just discussing and half warped curiosity. it wouldn’t go away, not until it was satiated.

jungkook’s lips curved upwards slightly. “curiosity killed the cat.”

your eyes narrowed. “satisfaction brought it back.”

“then someone ran it over.”

“jungkook.” you hissed, eyes narrowing deeper. “are you hiding something?”

he pulled the drink towards himself again, taking another sip though you watched the way his tongue wrapped around the straw first, as though he was savouring the taste. the sight made your stomach explode.

“this drink is disgusting.” he muttered making you huff and reach for it. “it’s not for you.” you rebutted. “stop ignoring my question or i’m gonna leave, seriously.”

“why would i tell you the answer if i know it would upset you?” he hummed in response, eyebrow tilting upwards slightly.

you faltered. “why wouldn’t i like it?”

“maybe i should take you home.” he continued. “need to make sure you rest a little, need to stop worrying your head.”

he was exasperating, at every angle. it was annoyance at its finest, and you craved more. you wanted him inside your bloodstream, inside every crevice of your brain but that was hardly something you could convey over natural conversation - it was completely lost on you, however, how deeply your feelings resonated with him. reciprocation was too small a word for what he felt, but again, this would have to wait.

“why won’t you tell me?” you frowned, whispering a little after a moments silence. “i don’t want anything hidden from me, i don’t care if i don’t like it, i want to know.”

jungkook stared at you for a moment, before he rolled his shoulders, hands stretching out onto the table you both shared. his fingers curled, stretching for a second, brushing against yours against your drink. it was like he was allowing himself for one moment of peace.

“i beat your brother up.” he plainly responded with, eyes meeting yours starkly.

you faltered.

“what?”

he didn’t respond, simply stared at you. you stared back, chest rising and falling and heart beating way too fast.

“what..what do you mean?”

“i broke his nose and his jaw. probably why he hasn’t spoken to you yet.” he murmured, as though it was casual. “been hiding out in the apartment, maybe he’s gone home, i don’t know.”

you blinked up at the tall man. and again. and again. you were at a loss, you knew you should have been horrified, scared even, considering the purple bruise on his face and given the bruising you now noticed on his knuckles. unfortunately for logic and ethics, you did not.

“why?” you whispered out, lips parting. you both knew, of course you did, but you wanted to hear it. wanted to form a tangible confirmation.

jungkook’s eyes narrowed slightly before he closed them for a moment, eye contact returning stronger than before. “i don’t like seeing you cry.”

you gulped at that. your leg was bouncing up and down underneath the table, an anxious tic as you absorbed this information. broken nose and jaw? that made you more at peace than you could have ever wished for, a taste of justice.

you weren’t sure what to respond with, but he knew that. jungkook rose from his seat, watching as you scrambled to do the same before he led you slowly outside. you were both silent, quiet as he opened his car door for you and let you inside comfortably before getting in himself.

plush seats and dark interior, even his car was every bit of his brooding personality and the thought unfortunately made both your stomach erupt and your thighs push together a little tighter.

you watched from the corner of your eye as his hand sat on the steering wheel with ease, his jaw slightly clenched. your hands were slightly shaky in your lap, yearning to reach over and claim his own for yourself but of course, how could you?

the silence in the car was deafening, the sound of your heart beating overriding any other thing at that very moment. you didn’t live far, and so the journey was pretty short as he parked outside of yejin’s home which ironically only sat a few streets away from his shared house with namjoon and jimin.

you turned to him, nibbling on your bottom lip as he parked the car. you weren’t sure of what to say or what to do, what was appropriate and what wasn’t? it felt like your relationship had shifted entirely from the span of a few days, touches and conversation, heated topics and now a defence of justice in your honour. you’d never ever wanted him more.

“head inside.” he softly pulled you out of your trance, eyes falling onto you.

he was enamoured by you. could barely think whilst on the road, but his pledge to your safety seemed a higher priority. even now, soft lips and big eyes staring up at him, he wanted to grab you in every way and sink promises into your skin, show you exactly what he thought and what he wanted. he couldn’t bring himself to hope you thought the same, he was content in your shadow.

you nodded, eyes running over every inch of his face. fingers slowly scrambling to release your seatbelt as you turned to slip out of the car, opening the door. you weren’t sure what compelled you, or what force of power rushed through your body, but you instead turned to face him once more.

jungkook’s face didn’t falter although his eyebrows raised slightly in confusion before he watched you lean towards him, faces mere inches away from each other. he watched as your breath hitched, through a moments hesitancy before placing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“thank you.” you whispered against his skin, heart beating out of your chest as you pulled away to make eye contact.

his eyes were wide and his lips parted. for the first time in your entire life, you had seen genuine shock on his face.

you pulled away with a deep blush beginning to form, grabbing your bag once more. he watched as you all but hobbled your way back into the apartment, heart beating and a matching flush on his cheeks.

“fuck.” he whispered.

———

this was an awful idea. terrible even, but what were bad decisions to a recently estranged young adult in uni?

donned in dark lace, your too short dress rid up slightly as you walked into the club, hand in hand with yejin who was already feeling slightly tipsy from your pregame. you hadn’t been out in months, and it was now months since juyeon had majorly fucked you over, marking the longest period of silence from you and your family. you wished you were upset, but instead, you were left with a feeling of calm. it almost felt worse.

it had also been nearly two months since you last spoke to, or saw jungkook. it felt like he had disappeared from the face of the earth. you hadn’t seen him beside his friends like you usually would whenever you’d pass them in uni, with no promised glimpses now your brother was out of your life. it unnerved you; the object of your desires suddenly ripped from you when you had just reached an odd reprise.

“listen. we are going to get drunk, find two cute guys, lead them on, and forget about it all in the morning.” yejin giggled in your ear as you both reached the bar, the two of you excited for the night ahead.

you grinned. “yeah well, there are already guys with their eye on you so we’ll be flying through your checklist.”

“hm. not my type.” she hummed, as she looked behind her. “oh?” you challenged. “does that have anything to do with a certain guy? tall, quiet, mysterious?” you teased, finger jabbing her hip as you brought up her crush on yoongi.

“god, i’d ruin his fucking life.” she groaned. “one chance and i swear i’d make it worthwhile.”

the majority of the night was spent having fun, being careless, dancing within a crowd of sweaty people, hands touching bodies and drinks burning throats. it was everything you needed, to forget and to live. you finally felt like a twenty something year old, finally being able to live the life of regrets - experiences you were owed by your university time.

you were drunk. not sloppy, but enough that your confidence was higher than usual, and the men here simply weren’t doing what you wanted. a few had slipped their arms around your waist, one had pinched and the others had grabbed, but you felt nothing towards them and it frustrated you.

“yujie..” you whined, pulling your friend outside for a bit of fresh air, slightly shaky on your heels.

she groaned as the cold air hit her in the face. “is it me or is everything moving rapidly?” she asked you, with narrowed eyebrows.

you all but giggled, your back hitting cold brick as you guys huddled together, trying to sober up a little.

it wasn’t long until a few guys approached you both, with one slinging his arm over your shoulder. neither of you were really that interested in any of them, but in the name of a good night; you were engaging as much as you wanted to.

“want a drag?” the one closest to you asked, as he pulled out a blunt.

you hesitated. it wasn’t that you were innocent by any means, but you had never really reached for things like that. you barely drank unless you went out, so it felt much deeper in that moment than perhaps intended. you reached for it, eyes slightly glazed over from the alcohol, but you didn’t make it far.

“not too much, sweetheart.” a familiar teasing tone jutted out from your right, as a hand cheekily tapped the top of yours.

your eyes flicked to meet that of jimin’s, big grin and sparkly eyes staring back at you as he stole the guy’s blunt, lighting it for himself despite his protests. “leave you alone for a few weeks and you’re already making poor decisions? not a good look.”

yejin all but spluttered. “what the fuck is happening right now..”

“oh hi.” jin grinned out, as he appeared from behind jimin, the other boys following suit. yoongi openly ran his eyes up and down yejin, to which she shamelessly did the same, scooting closer and closer to him.

“i can do what i want.” you murmured, feeling a little humiliated that you were caught being rebellious for once.

“yeah, in theory, but now that i’m your big brother, that’s a no go.” he teased again, arm draped over your shoulders, shooing the random men away who were just as flabbergasted.

your eyebrows furrowed. “who made you my sibling?”

he giggled, clearly already a few drinks in. “me. as of 30 seconds ago.”

you rolled your eyes, grumbling up at him a little as your eyes scanned the group. you deflated visibly at the sight of no jungkook, unsure of how to even bring up his notable absence.

was he ignoring you? had you done something to upset him, or worse, offend? you weren’t sure what it could have been, but the ever perceptive hoseok noticed your lingering eyes.

“he didn’t want to come.” he quietly murmured next to you, offering you a little repose from the loud chatter now happening around you. “he’s been keeping to himself recently as a whole.”

you nodded, throat suddenly lumpy as your chest tightened. it felt like a confirmation, surely it was no coincidence that you had gotten to an understanding, something that indicated that you both perhaps felt something deeper than either was ready to explain, only to him to go silent on you. this was jungkook, always quiet, always purposeful - you just never expected to be the one on the other side dealing with it.

your mood soured, you didn’t really feel like being out anymore but, again, you didn’t want anyone to notice. hoseok’s had slipped away from the group, phone to his ear for no longer than 30 seconds, before returning, everyone heading back inside.

you sat at the booth, quiet, sipping your drink one of the boys had so kindly gotten you. namjoon sat beside you, hoseok next to him and yejin and yoongi on your left. it felt strange being around your brother’s once friends so casually, and it almost felt stranger that they felt such a strong sense of duty towards you. you understood it to some extent, having jungkook’s explanation although that felt anything but brotherly.

you shook your head slightly, pushing all thoughts of your family and the boy you were utterly obsessed with out of your mind as the people around you got rowdier, and more excited as the drinks began to pump.

15 minutes had passed, trickling by in what felt like seconds as you and yejin got up to dance once more. you were going to have a good night by force, and the absence of jungkook couldn’t disturb you. you wouldn’t let it.

grinding and hands roaming your body, you couldn’t help the giggles that were escaping you as your head felt like it was up in the clouds. the drinks, the environment, the thump of the music - you and your best friend felt alive and that’s all that mattered.

you noticed yejin being pulled away by yoongi, who matched her tipsy state, the two wrapping their arms around one another whilst they all but consumed one another. you could feel hands grabbing your hips from behind, one hand even trailing to your stomach and gently pushing you back until you were fully flushed against a hard chest.

your gasp was swallowed by the music, the scent of pine and the warmth that suddenly cascaded around you was enough to ground you to that very moment. you wanted to turn around, inspect who had managed to make your heart race from a simple touch but one look down at the tattooed fingers touching you, you already knew the answer.

airy breaths began leaving your lips, your heart beating fast and your own fingers delicately tracing his whilst he manoeuvred you from the dance floor, until he was guiding you to a quieter part of the club, just shy of the bathrooms. before you could turn around yourself, you were deposited into a corner and turned, coming face to face with no other than the exact man that had been on your mind the entire night.

jungkook looked angry, with a tense jaw and hooded eyes. attractive, painfully so - you wanted to run your fingers over his jaw. would he let you, you wondered, or would he push you away?

your lips parted slightly, watching his eyes flicker downwards to watch them intently. “you look mad.” you drawled out, his hands still stabilising you by your hips whilst your fingers traced over them and his arms.

if anyone were to walk past and look at you both, you were completely hidden behind the expanse of his back and shoulders. the thought made you throb, your infatuation for him felt sickening and yet you could feel it growing by the minute.

“you were going to take drugs? do you know how stupid that is, you don’t even know the people who offered it.” he all but growled out.

this was the most volatile emotion you’d ever seen him display, the way his eyebrows were furrowed and his jaw tight - you longed to see more of it.

“what’s it to you?” you hummed out, the loud music merely background noise from the area you were in. “you’ve been ignoring me, didn’t think you’d care.”

“y/n, i’m not fucking around.” he hissed. “people lace shit like that, you could have been spiked or taken advantage of. do you know how many bad men stay around here?”

“like you?” you asked. you were teasing him, drawling your voice whilst your fingers faintly caressed his arms, up and down. his throat bobbed, only slightly and only for a second but it was enough to catch your attention. bingo.

he knew what you were doing too, he was no idiot. he was at home, thoughts plagued by you as per usual when hoseok rang him. annoyance ran high through his body as he answered until he understood the purpose of the call.

“i’m not in the mood to party, hobi.” jungkook reiterated.

“y/n’s here. her and her friend, and she was about to smoke a blunt from some random guy…”

the older man was saying something else but he could hardly hear him, feeling anger bubble at the bottom of his stomach at the mere thought of another man looking at you with no intention other than to corrupt you. it was this exact anger that fuelled him to end the call and head down to the club himself.

he found you almost immediately, not that it was hard. it was like someone high above was trying to ruin his life, with the way you were with yejin; swaying your hips with hands all over you. your dress was so short, he knew that one wrong move and he’d be able to see every inch of your panties.

jungkook moved before he could think, pushing people away without a care - he welcomed anyone to challenge him, he insisted. by the time he reached you, he all but ripped the man behind you away before grabbing you, making sure his tight grip on you was secure before leading you away. the scent of purple florals were marinated into your skin, he couldn’t help but breathe it in as he took you elsewhere.

so here he stood, in front of the object of his wildest infatuations as you teased him to an inch of his life. “you think i’m a bad man?”

“aren’t you?” you asked, tilt to your head.

you couldn’t help but raise your fingers, trailing them faintly over this tense jaw. he let you, much to your surprise. “i’m taking you home.”

it was your turn to furrow your eyebrows, your fingers dropping from his jaw although not too far. his hand shot up to catch it, gently placing it back - the action made your stomach drop. a confirmation of some kind.

you were startled, unsure of how to respond before he took your other hand, clearly about to take you out of the club. “no, i’m not going.”

his eyes narrowed.

“you’re drunk.”

“i’m barely tipsy, common occurrence for a club.”

“y/n. i’m taking you home.” he grumbled, stepping back into your personal space. you were against the wall again, his shielding you from any prying eyes that were walking past.

you huffed, yanking your hand out of his grip before crossing your arms like a child. “you’re ruining my plans, jungkook.”

“yeah? enlighten me, what are your plans?”

that condescending tone was enough to have you seething, but unfortunately for you, it had you pressing your legs together too at a weak attempt to relax the throbbing in your core. you hated how badly you wanted him, how badly your body reacted to his tone.

“to relax, get drunk out of my mind, make bad decisions, find someone to go home with and then forget about it the next day.” you huffed, again. “now go away because you’re ruining them.”

the single mention of you leaving the club with quite literally any man other than himself had him seeing pure red, and judging from the look on his face, even you recognised it was something he absolutely would never allow for. another step towards you was taken, forcing you to press against the wall properly now.

“and who the fuck will you be going home with?”

you wished your stomach would stop fluttering at the sight of his possessiveness. you wanted to fuel it, to poke it until it engulfed you - you thrived knowing he was openly reacting to you.

“does it matter?”

“yeah it fucking does.” he hissed, hands pushing your hips so they were all but pressed against the wall. he was so close to you know, pinning you, your bodies mere centimetres apart.

your throat bobbed. “you’re not my brother, jungkook, you don’t get to make decisions for me.”

to that, he finally took the final step, his chest pressing against yours, his wide shoulders caging you in entirely. two bodies pressing against one another so tightly.

“if you genuinely think you aren’t mine, then you need to wake up, y/n.” he warned, voice heavy in aggravation.

your legs felt like they were about to give out, and you couldn’t help from holding onto his arms almost desperately. jungkook was openly telling you his role in your life, or more importantly, yours in his and it was enough to make every thought in your brain shatter.

he was beyond a crush to you. you thought of him constantly, fingers twitching and mouth watering - the mystery behind his persona and the quiet nature in which he carried was something that drove you insane. to hear the very cause of your infatuation openly tell you he had ownership, a medieval claim over you, felt euphoric. you didn’t care how toxic it was, because you felt the exact same.

jungkook looked down at you, his hands shaking slightly as his grip on your waist grew harsher. he couldn’t look away, eyes connected with yours, whilst he watched the very emotion that plagued him every moment of each day mirror in your own gaze. he could see the obsession, could see the sick fucking infatuation clear as day and for once, he revelled in it. you were just as fucked for him as he was for you, although he’d argue he was practically on his knees for you.

he knew you were egging on him on, relishing in the anger he was displaying so openly and it only motivated him more. he knew the bruising grip on your hips served as a physical anchor, but the way your eyes glazed over with his words made him want to ruin you there and then.

“prove it.” you managed to whisper out.

a moment of silence was shared between you, neither of you breathing for a brief second. before you could blink, jungkook smashed his lips onto yours.

immediately your lips moved in unison, bruising and punishing. there was nothing gentle about this; this was months and years of obsession flooded into a single action. jungkook was kissing you like a man starved, pushing you tightly against him whilst he pressed you into the wall, your bodies brushed into each other in every aspect.

your hands fisted into his top, feeling the skin beneath with fabric acting as a barrier. his tongue forced its way into your mouth, claiming his stake, dominating you - the music in the club was nothing more than a distant memory, your breathy moans becoming the background noise to the kiss.

by the time he was pulling away, you were both breathless, eyes wild and lips swollen. your chest was rising and falling, unable to comprehend what had just happened whilst his eyes closed for a moment. you both stood in silence for a few seconds before you pulled him back in, leaving small pecks on his lips as a bid to lay your stake too. he was just as much yours as you were his, and you weren’t about to let him forget it.

your moans were quiet and airy, driving him insane. he bumped your nose with his own whilst your breaths mingled, eyes hooded. “do you know how long i’ve wanted to do that?”

your nodded eyes had fallen to his lips, desperate to kiss him again before they met his gaze again. “how long?” you whispered, you wanted to know every detail.

“from the fucking second i met you.” he grunted. “you’ve been mine from the day you walked into my life, and i don’t give a fuck what anyone has to say for it.”

your eyes shut in response, letting out a shaky breath before nodding. your hands were curling over his t-shirt again.

“you’re mine too.” you murmured, noses still bumping against each other. he shuddered slightly, your words running through every inch of his body. “yours.”

people were walking past you both now, tipsy and drunk on their way to the bathroom and yet neither of you made any effort to move. you both chose to continue kissing, your mouths moving in harmony as though this was all meant to be. after what felt like eons, everything was finally falling into place. it all made sense.

the feel of your hips bucking into his were enough to drive him clinically insane. his touch was rough, dominating - there was no gentleness to the way he was running his hands all over you, only intention.

“i’m taking you home.” he whispered against your lips once he pulled away, staring you down intensely.

you gulped. “no.” you shook your head. “then you’re gonna leave.”

he watched as you clutched his t-shirt again, wrinkles creasing into every line and ridge. “do you want me to stay?”

you nodded before you could even fully process his words - now that you’d had a taste of him, surely he couldn’t expect you to want otherwise?

he nodded in confirmation, a determination set on his face before he pulled away. a slight gasp of air left you at the sudden feeling of emptiness, his body no longer pressed against you in every way. the absence was momentary as he took hold of one of your hands, pulling you close before guiding you outside.

you both walked past hundreds of people, the music pounding and the smell of alcohol littered in the air. at one point, you even noticed yejin sat on yoongi’s lap near the bar, the two kissing as though no one was around them, the other boys doing heaven knows what.

it felt like everything was moving so fast. you were both suddenly in an uber, his hands hot and heavy on your upper thigh whilst your hands clutched his arm to you. you couldn’t believe this was happening, brain short circuiting.

by the time you got your bearings, you realised pretty quickly that you weren’t headed to your home, but rather his. you’d never seen it, nor even heard anything about it, the man beside you an utter mystery that you longed to unravel. the thought made your stomach clench, you knew if he was taking you to his place it was an act purposefully done - he was sending you a message to show you he had no intentions of leaving. this was it.

soon enough, you were inside his apartment. he stood behind you as you took your heels off, your height dropping dramatically whilst your eyes examined every part of his home. dark furnitures and shadows everywhere you looked, it was every thing you imagined it to be.

jungkook watched you, in genuine awe of the way you moved. the way your hands graced the walls, fingers touching his couch faintly, your presence around the silence of his home being more dream adjacent than anything else.

“smells like you.” you whispered, unsure if he could even hear you.

he didn’t respond, opting to walk towards you slowly. you had your back to him still but Your senses felt heightened, you could feel his heat before he even spoke.

“i like it.” you continued, eyes fluttering shut. “makes me feel safe.”

“you are safe.” he affirmed immediately. when did his voice get so gruff?

his fingers reached for the back of your dress, faintly touching and tracing your lines. “you’re not good for my brain.”

“i know.” he whispered, warmth encompassing all of you. “but i’m selfish, i’ve stayed away for too long.”

your eyes tightened before turning around to face him. “don’t want you to stay away. want you so badly, you’re always in my head..” you whimpered as though even recollecting a time where he was too far and yet so close held pain.

he let out a shaky breath of air, your confession driving him insane. “fuck.” he whispered, hands slightly shaking. to bare his obsession in front of you so openly was like asking him to show you the darkest parts of his soul - knowing it was reciprocated? it felt like feeding an addict exactly what they wanted.

“you’re mine. always, always mine. no backing out, y/n, you hear me? can’t fucking run from this.”

his words were enough to make something crack inside your brain, making you lurch forward to press a bruising kiss to his lips. within seconds, he had you pressed against the very couch you were so gentle with moments before, on top of you with his body against yours.

you could feel every inch of him, and it felt euphoric. your tongues moved in unison whilst your hands roamed, tugging his t-shirt desperately in a bid to take it of. he obliged, always willing to do anything you asked of him.

in return, he was all but ripping your flimsy dress off of your body, airy gasps leaving you as you watched him roughly discard it, leaving you in nothing other than your panties. your intention for the night was to leave with someone but you thanked your lucky stars that you were wearing your best panties, a black lacy pair - jungkook’s favourite colour.

he shuddered at the sight, your bare body curved upwards as though it belonged to him. he maintained eye contact with you, letting his hands trail over you before his fingers made direct contact with your core.

within seconds, they were pushed to the side whilst he began rubbing at your clit, heavily breathing. your hips bucked, eyes rolling to the back of your head. “jungkook..” you moaned out.

he growled against you, his lips moving to your jaw, moving his fingers in harsh circular motions, forcing you to take every ounce of his infatuation for you. your legs were already shaking, the sudden contact against your core instantly feeling like too much.

within seconds, his other hand was pushing in one of his thick fingers, pumping it at a brutal pace whilst his thumb remained on your clit.

“fuck, look at you. such a pretty little pussy, made to be ruined by me, hm?” he hissed out at you whilst you shook in his arms. “dreamt of this so many times.”

you whimpered up at him so loudly that he could have cum in his pants there and then. you were intoxicating, his personal drug that he’d never recover from - not that he was looking to. before long, he pushed in another finger, pumping them in unison.

“feel so full..” you all but moaned out, back arching into him as you clutched his meaty bicep. “gotta loosen you up a little baby, need to be able to take my cock.” he grunted in your ear, making your eyes roll to the back of your head.

you pawed at his jeans, managing to push them down to his knees, letting his cock go free. it slapped against his stomach slightly, monstrous and thick. the sight made you clench around his fingers, forcing a moan to leave him at the thought. it shot straight to his head.

“kookie, you won’t fit.” you whimpered out, his bruising pace against your pussy only growing both faster and harder whilst your own hands began pumping him.

his eyes closed shut for a second before forcing you to look at him, the eye contact both too little and yet entirely too much. “i’ll make it fit, were born for this. for me, weren’t you?”

you nodded instantly, pumping his cock faster as you felt your high approaching, your thighs trapping his hand, forcing him to snap them open again. he could tell you were about to cum, with the way your body arched and your pupils were dilating, but he wanted to push you further.

suddenly, his hand pulled away from you, fingers away from your needy pussy causing you to whimper loudly in protest. you were so close, seconds from cumming and the throbbing you were left with felt unbearable.

“you’re gonna cum on my cock, baby.” he assured you, head pressing against yours as your hands pulled away from his cock.

the couch was comfortable, but definitely not made for the fucking he was about to give you. in response to this, he picked you up with a single arm, causing you to squeak before walking to his bedroom, your arms clutched tightly around him. he was so much bigger than you, so strong and manly - it made you clench around nothing miserably.

he dropped you on the bed as though you weighed nothing, climbing over you once more before capturing your lips. a bruising embrace, through breathy moans and desperate tugs of hair - the two of you were enamoured by one another.

he pulled back slightly, breathing heavy, watching how your legs wrapped around his waist beneath him. “fuck, don’t have any condoms baby.”

“good.” your response came, legs spreading a little so he can slot himself between them properly. “i want you to cum in me.”

jungkook felt like his entire body was on fire, your words driving him to a point where he had no other purpose than to ruin you forever. mould you until you were just as fucked up as he was, although he had the sense that you matched him equally.

he didn’t respond immediately, simply began tracing your pussy with the head of his cock. it was so big, girthy and long, your hips bucking every time it caught on your sensitive clit. soon enough, he was pushing it in, your pussy accommodating his size inch by inch.

you were breathing heavily, the stretch proving to be bigger than anything you’d ever taken and yet you wanted more, you wanted all of him inside. he had only pushed in half way by the time your body was shaking, chanting his name like an omen.

“cmon baby, you can do better than that.” he teased in your ear, despite the fact he was fighting every cell in his body not to cum immediately.

he caught the familiar sheen of tears in your eyes and it made him push in another inch, in hopes to see more. to think he beat your brother to an inch of his life for making you cry and yet here he was, hovering over you and bullying his cock inside in hopes you’d shed a tear for him too.

“jungkook. you’re so..fuck, you’re too much.” you whimpered. you were on your back, legs pulled up and around him whilst he was on his knees, hands clutching either side of your hips. you were both watching the slight bulge form on your stomach, the sight better than anything else you’d ever seen.

“gotta take it for me, y/n.” he cooed at you, his voice soft but actions anything but. he was being condescending on purpose and it was driving you insane. “need to cum in you, remember? spread your legs.”

you did exactly that, tears running down your face as he managed to fully push in, his cock buried tightly against you. it felt like nothing you’d ever experienced before, this sudden feeling of complete fullness. despite the pain, the pleasure was beyond anything - it was running through every inch of your body and you wanted so much more of it, feeling the familiar pressure in your stomach again.

“fuck me, kookie. please.”

he didn’t need any other encouragements, grabbing the back of your legs and beginning his bruising pace. hard and fast, neither of you wanted this to be gentle or soft, this was beyond any of that. it was the final confirmation you needed - the feelings between you weren’t pure, nor were they of traditional love. it was beyond that, something sick and twisted that managed to capture your very veins.

“wish you knew how badly i’ve needed this.” he began, pushing your legs so they were in the air whilst he leaned in close to your face, your breaths mangled. “walking past me all of the time in your short little skirts and those tight leggings, fuck. knew you were mine then, didn’t wanna scare you.”

you shook your head through your sobs, pulling at his hair, scratching back and bucking your hips for more.

“needed you, kookie. touch myself every night pretending it’s you.” you admitted, bearing the sickness of your soul to him. “thinking about all the ways you could ruin me, wanted you so so bad but thought you didn’t notice.”

he growled out loud, voice loud and almost angry. his pace was punishing, his fingers rubbing your clit whilst he fucked you. “should have had you move in here, would have shown you how much i want you baby, should’ve made you go to bed every night with a pussy full of my cum.”

your back arched. his words were hitting a part of your brain that was left neglected for too long. he was both your safety and security, whilst actively being the very bogey man so many had warned you about. there was nothing soft about him, he was carved from stone with every intention to claim his stake and yet you felt safer than you’d ever felt a day in your life.

“look at me.” he pushed, your nose brushing against his. you obliged, doing exactly that, the two of you watching the effects you had on one another.

“i love you.” he whispered, so quiet you weren’t sure if you’d even heard it until he repeated. “i love you, i love you, i love you.”

you loudly whimpered. “never going to let anyone hurt you y/n, you understand?” he grunted. you were nodding at him as he fucked you. “always gonna make sure you’re safe, won’t ever let anyone upset you again. my sweet girl, born for me.”

his words were enough to drive you over the edge, gasping out loud as you grabbed him by the shoulders. your nails were digging into his skin, drawing faint crescent lines of blood whilst he grunted out loud, joining you with his own orgasm.

jungkook fucked you both through it, the two of you shuddering whilst you rode out your highs, lips mangling with one another, stealing breathless kisses.

by the time he came to a stop, he could feel your body twitching. your pussy was throbbing around him, milking him for every possible drop, shooting sensitive sensations throughout his body. he couldn’t bring himself to pull out though, not yet.

neither of you spoke yet, too enamoured by the other. jungkook littered gentle kisses all over your face, lips soft, a complete contrast to the almost brutal fucking he had just given you. by the time your breaths had finally relaxed, you were sinking into his bed comfortably with him still inside.

“you okay?” he gently asked you. you nodded, body worn out but hands reaching up to cup his face a little. he noticed tears were still streaming down your face and it worried him - was he too rough with you? had it been too much?

“i’m so happy.” you simply replied, curling your fingers so they brushed against his cheeks. “i can’t believe you love me.”

he breathed, pushing forward so your heads were now pressed against each other. this also jostled him inside of you, making you whimper out in over sensitivity.

“i love you more than you could even comprehend, y/n. you own every inch of my heart.”

between sniffles and cuddles, you held him closer to you as you nodded. though you hadn’t reiterated the words yourself, jungkook didn’t need you to. your response was enough for him to understand you felt the exact same way. you were finally complete.

—

two months had passed since that night of confessions and love. what you and jungkook were didn’t really make sense to most people, the concept of boyfriend and girlfriend almost being laughable to either of you. it was so much more, he was your soulmate, the very blood being pumped through your heart and yet you had no way of conveying it.

you were experiencing something you had waited so patiently for and it was thrilling. yujin was probably the most excited out of everyone who found out, bouncing from foot to foot once you filled her in the next day. news travelled fast, jungkook’s friends congratulating you both, most of them queued in to his infatuation with you. even your brother ended up finding out, much to your dismay.

you hadn’t spoken to your parents in months, but your mother had text you a few days ago inviting you to a family dinner. you were a nervous wreck at the mere thought. your role in your household was that you were the spare, you had no importance and your presence wasn’t something they often required - the fact they were reaching out confused you. it was unlike them.

jungkook often came round, whether it was to drop off of food, or just to spend time with you, hold you and so forth. whenever you guys were spending the night, it was often spent at his apartment out of respect for yujin despite her openly telling you guys to stay.

you told him immediately about the text, your anxious state visible.

“what do you want to do?” he quietly asked you.

he stood, bags of takeout in hand whilst you sat at the kitchen island, your cheek pushed onto your knees, legs hugging your chest. you watched as he created a plate of chinese food for you both despite your lack of appetite, feeling the stress vibrate through you in rolls.

“i’m gonna go it’s just..haven’t seen juyeon since everything and what, we’ve spoken once? and my mum and dad went completely silent on me.” you reminded, making him nod before he sat beside you, running a hand through your hair.

“you don’t have to if you don’t want to. you don’t owe them anything. you know that, right?” he placed your plate in front of you, before pressing a kiss to your nose.

you nodded, looking up at him with teary eyes. “just scared, that’s all.”

he observed you for a few seconds before he pulled you in, relaxing your legs. you were sat straddling him, with your head on his shoulder, sniffling quietly and whilst he grabbed a fork. he began feeding you, an act of quiet care whilst you took a moment of silence.

“you don’t need to be scared, sweet girl. there’s nothing they can say or do to you that matters.” he whispered down at you, voices quiet and noses bumping. he fed you some noodles. “don’t waste any tears over them.”

you nodded through your sniffles. he stroked your head, encouraging you to eat whilst whispering sweet nothings that caused you to curl further into him. your safe space, the man dedicated to making sure you stepped on only flower beds for the rest of your life.

the day of the dinner approached so fast, and yet the anxiety that had grown throughout the days prior felt genuinely debilitating. you dressed in a knee length dress, modest and polite, your hair pulled up in a little bun and your flats on your shoes. your parents liked you to dress up whenever you went home, despite juyeon showing up in whatever he wanted, not that he was ever called out on it.

jungkook was driving you there, pulling in to the outside of the home right as juyeon was walking up to the front door. you breathed deeply. the sight of him made you feel sick to your stomach, memories of what he had done so flippantly rushing back to you.

“please..please stay close.” you begged gently, your breathing shallow as your hands shook. he turned to you, pressing a kiss to your nose. “i’m gonna be outside the entire time baby. second you need me, text me okay?”

you nodded, taking in a deep breath before pressing a peck to his lips. you got out of the car, noticing juyeon’s death stare on both you and jungkook, bandages around his nose from the nose job he was still recovering from - your boyfriend must have really ruined his face.

you ignored his presence whilst you both walked inside. immediately, the difference in treatment was apparent; with your parents embracing him and planting kisses to his cheeks whilst they coldly acknowledged you. you played along, as you had done for the past two decades, before they lead you all to the dining room.

twenty minutes into the dinner and not one person had acknowledged you. the three were chatting openly, laughing and exchanging jokes as if it meant nothing to be as excited as they were whilst in your presence. you were barely eating, pushing your food around your plate before your mother spoke up.

“and you? have you passed your classes?”

you peered up, realising she was speaking to you. your eyes flickered around the table before nodding. “yeah..i got the highest grades.”

she took a sip of her wine as your dad tilted his head. “then surely you can’t have been that stressed.”

“what?” you questioned.

“all that nonsense about the flat. you made it out like juyeon had ruined your life.”

“he ruined all of my stuff.” you hissed immediately. “in the middle of the school year, including my revision material, my books, my clothes - i didn’t even have a bra for a week because of him.”

juyeon rolled his eyes. “you’re so dramatic, it was a party, y/n. what did you expect to happen?”

your anger was growing by the second, appearing out of nowhere. “you’re such a spoilt, fucking bastard. are you that dense?”

your parents gasped as though you had said the filthiest thing known to man; making you snap your eyes towards them. “watch your mouth.” your mum hissed.

“are you being serious? how are you even saying that right now?”

“and to think we thought you’d come back with some humility.” your dad scoffed.

you sat in silence for a second, looking around at the three of them in utter shock. you couldn’t believe this was real.

“some humility for what? to show up and worship the feet of your pathetic son who hasn’t been able to do one single thing right a day in his life?” you hissed, voice going up an octave. “he’s a pathetic, waste of space that i’ve had to baby for over twenty years and i’m in the wrong here?”

they were all practically vibrating in anger. “don’t bother listening to her.” your brother scoffed. “she’s a whore. couldn’t wait for my friends to notice her, bagged up the first one that glanced her way.”

you got up, lunging for him immediately. you were pulled away after managing to leave a few scratches on his face, your mother screaming whilst your dad harshly pushed you from his son. you didn’t wait around, grabbing your jacket and rushing to the front door, yanking it open.

by the time you were opening the car door to sit in jungkook’s presence, you were already open mouth crying, feeling more heartbreak in that moment than ever before.

“y/n?” jungkook was on alert, reaching for you immediately as you all but crumpled in his arms. he looked up to see juyeon staring at you both with a grimace, it didn’t take a genius to connect the dots.

he reached to leave the car, with every intention of beating him to an inch of his life but from the way you were pulling him back was the answer he needed. “please. please just get me out of here, kookie.” you begged through sobs, body shaking and makeup running.

he breathed shallowly. he couldn’t be selfish right now, as much as he wanted to watch the life leave your brother’s eyes, you were in a state that was more important. he locked in, putting your seatbelt on for you before driving at a speed that was alarming.

by the time he had you home, you were already curled in on yourself through heavy sobs. they wracked through your body whilst he carried you to your bedroom; holding you flush to his chest.

you cried all day and all night, accepting that you truly no longer had a family to go back to, the door closing on the biggest heartbreak of your life. jungkook didn’t budge once, holding you throughout the entire time, yejin coming in to comfort you also.

the weeks that followed blurred together. therapy sessions left you raw and shaking, but you went, because you knew you had to. every memory, every ugly truth about your childhood was dragged up, and it felt like you were being ripped open all over again. but you weren’t alone this time.

he sat with you, blocking their contacts on your phone for you, deleting their numbers. he helped you remove every trace of them on your phone, let you cry on his shoulder whilst he embraced you, uplifting you with every chance he got. he even returned one night with bloody fists, unaware you were in his apartment - though you didn’t ask questions, you knew where he’d been, or better yet, who he’d fucked up.

the sight broke something in you, holding him desperately after. his unwavering loyalty, his sheer infatuation with you made you feel seen, made you feel safe. jungkook was your backbone and your future - you knew it now better than ever. he’d burn the world to make sure you were warm.

at night, when he was inside you, thrusting deeply, making sure you felt his presence deep in your stomach whilst he made love to you; he whispered sweet promises against your skin. he’d tell you about his plans to marry you, give you the family you’d always craved. these weren’t hopes for the future, these were vows. a pledge to you he would die before breaking.

“my girl.” he’d whisper to you, head pressed against yours.