so long!

I love it when people tell me bad things The Beatles did when I say I’m a fan, I have to sit there like I don’t know everything about them.

Sober as fuck at the back of the club going onto Wikipedia and typing "List of birds"

that's a cat ✅️

I'm not sure anymore ... this is really scary ...

I have a headache because I'm a bad person

this man was really just in this public bathroom with his girlfriend on speaker phone and she’s like “what are you up to” he’s like “I’m taking a shit baby” absolutely appalling this might be the last straw for me I really might attack this man

literally I feel like a wild chimpanzee right now

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.