I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
shark vs the universe
tannertan36
Today's Document
Sweet Seals For You, Always
official daine visual archive
#extradirty
$LAYYYTER
izzy's playlists!
Game of Thrones Daily
Cosimo Galluzzi
Product Placement
EXPECTATIONS
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Stranger Things
Discoholic 🪩
Claire Keane
Jules of Nature
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@successful-millionare
One time I smoked a shit ton by myself at 10:00 am and started thinking about that quote at the ending of Madoka magica that goes like "Don't forget. Always, somewhere, someone is fighting for you. As long as you remember her, you are not alone." And in my dumbass brain i thought “wow… Edmund Blackadder is fighting for me?” And the thought alone made me start sobbing and googling pictures of Rowan Atkinson through my tears
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Actual convo between me and my two friends
Friend 1: heh yeah so my mom signed me up for therapy without me knowing
Friend 2: oh shit really?
Friend 1: yeah I saw the email when I was confirming my tumblr account
A different convo between the same two friends
Friend 1 (cockily): I will now attack with my xerneas EX and you are now dead.
Friend 2: yeah haha, i am dead
Friend 1: haha… *knocks rhythmically on the wood while fake laughing nervously*
Theres a hurricane
Hey hey hey, now we’re chalking
My advice as a doctor, if you’re worried about sodium intake just try and piss more. Your body pisses out sodium so drink a ton of water and piss. Go ahead and do it. Piss. C’mon it’ll be so funny and im your doctor with a medical license.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Cheeseburger pringles gunked up my fingers now my iPads Touch ID won’t work
Update on life; I keep having dreams that im chandler bing from friends and I think that’s a sign I’ll be dying soon
Hey squad i did not know chandler bings actor was dead i can promise tgat was not the meaning of my joke.
But wow holy fuck i fumbled this one.
Update on life; I keep having dreams that im chandler bing from friends and I think that’s a sign I’ll be dying soon
a symptom of being raised by a autistic mother is being brainwashed as a child into thinking hellboy 2004 is a good movie
Another example is always being able to recognize actor Doug Jones by not only face but VOICE despite the fact that I never had an interest in a lot of movies hes in because my moms devout love for this man
Actual convo between me and my two friends
Friend 1: heh yeah so my mom signed me up for therapy without me knowing
Friend 2: oh shit really?
Friend 1: yeah I saw the email when I was confirming my tumblr account
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Had an exhausting outing and came home wrapped up on the couch and fell asleep while it was still daylight. I woke up, now dark outside, with my roommate (the gay one) laying on me playing grand theft auto with their in game character dressed as childish gambino in the this is America music video swimming underwater with dolphins. As I blinked the sleep from my eyes i say “the fuck are you doing?” Which they respond, in an extremely defensive tone, “uhm im fucking training bro?”
My mom said I have to go into war unless a fat woman takes my virginity so fat women hmu
Me: *points at symbol on a guys shirt that vaguely looks like a iron cross* ha i don’t think he should be wearing that
My overly literal friend who doesn’t fully grasp sarcasm: uhm I think that may be the Harley Davison logo…
The otherworldly being that’s been following us since we were young shakes its head in disapproval as it witnesses one of the only times my jokes failed
This is my impression of John Watson asking Sherlock Holmes what grade he had to repeat but Sherlock had the same education experience as me and neither are brits:
PMMM last three episodes
Mami Tomoe: Dead
Sayaka Miki: Witch Dead
Kyoko Sakura: Dead
Homura Akemi: I took her to my white room with floating paintings and circle couches and I freaked it
Madoka Kaname: (to homura) yoyr pruple like my mom
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
If I can pluck every single hair from my Knut shack I will reward myself with three or maybe even four shots of espresso paid for by my underpaid roommate who recently took me to the doctor because I fainted after (her theory not mine) having too much caffeine
If you ever feel bad about yourself know that my mom asked me if I was asexual because I haven’t had a boyfriend since i was 14 and am still a virgin. The salt on the wound was my genuinely asexual sibling sitting next to me with a huge shit eating smile as I had to gently tell our mother i am in fact NOT asexual just extremely uncharismatic.