When it all wears off?

When you

start to feel trapped

In the four corners

Of your room

In my mind

I can't seem to escape

Let's create

Our own place

In this empty space

I don't give a fuck about myself

Shaded dreams

I can't seem to understand

My mirror image

Is blured again

Lost Reflections

MisProportioned

I'll find a friend

In the bottom of a bottle

theres fire in the ocean

starry skies cant morph my visions tonight

drifting and aimlessly devoted

i can feel myself crawling in my own skin

whats the point of anything anyway

i cant seem to find meaning in it all

i throw my thoughts and feelings to the curb

only for everything to come back around full circle

i drown it all out

and keep it all in

put on my mask

tell myself ill be ok

is this fucking normal?

if so, what kind of life are we living?

blank stares from passerby's

left with my assumptions

of who they really are

and if they tried to speak with me

id still keep myself covered

you'll never get the real me

i dont know if they exist

i think we might have met sometime

but they have quickly left me behind

maybe this is all circumstantial

maybe one day

ill stop putting on this act

the person i want to be

is somewhere inside of me

i just have to find it

or i could just stop trying

Drowning out

What can't be understood

Push it all away

Hollow out

Another bottle

Forget your name

Disguise myself

With ideas I borrowed

I will never be the same

The rush begins

To settle in

dead space then

Finds a way to win

Give me more

To fill the void

I've lost myself again

Coursing veins

I keep pacing

Can't keep my fucking

Mind from racing

tearing down the walls

Only leads to amputation

Of my attention span

And communication

So don't try

To push

What's been pulled too many times

You'll find

It's  more

For all the times

I've chosen pain over conversation

It weighs down my chest

Quite literally buried alive

Rejecting any opportunity I get

To meet someone in the eyes

Because the delusions I keep feeding into

Always find some way to rise

And it's no mistake I can hide

A thin blanket I keep tucked

at the bottom of a bag

I call this my pride

And for days and weeks

That pass me by

It seems to waiver

With the time

Growing and shrinking

Eventually shaping

Into a reflection of what I've already seen

The smoke then clears

And I'm nothing

A Hollow shell of memories

Times I can't recreate

Torture me and my scattered brain

This is the only way I've found to demonstrate

That I want to feel the same

As when I did

Before I realized what I lacked

But Now that I'm alone

And my voice is just a crack

I don't have to feel as bad

About emptying this pack

Cause I know that no matter what I do

Or say

Things will never be the same

Unless we find a voice inside our brains

To grip our selfish ways

understand why they're here

So we can smile through the pain