ғᴇᴀʀ ᴏғ ғᴀʟʟɪɴɢ

Bus route to the edge of the city and life was good, now free from the ache of work life and stretching his arms above his head - caring not for his mid-riff being flashed amongst the sun and greenery around him. As he groaned with the release of tension, he hiked his bag over his shoulders and pushed forward with careful steps. Nothing too big this day, he was just planning on a bit of hiking, a bit of inhaling the clean forest air and maybe fishing if he could find a decent lake but honestly, not something needed. Robbie told him about this place, the google map showing him just where to go and honestly, he was going to buy that brat a treat for such a great find.

As he moved through trunks and roots, he was careful in touching low branches, not knowing which animal would be nesting on them or if they were loose, but he didn't wish to smacked in the face… Though, as he moved on, he found a well trodden path and that was the goal. A smile to his face and attention rose from his foot placements - his stress of tripping over no longer a problem, and he began to simply follow that road towards where it leads. A few minutes, well thirty all together, to finally see it. The app said it was a store out here!!

If he came the other way, from the city side, he might have walked through it to this place but since it was a park on all sides, any place worked towards this one, right? A great sight though - as he moved with a little prep in his step and soon came upon the front displays of plantation and others. "Oh - nice." As he crouched down to take hold of a leaf in a gesture natural to plant lovers, his thumb gently caressed the waxy vibrant layer. Not a speck of bug or blemish - a superb healthy plant this one. Phone to hand - he took a picture of the plant pots name - deciding that yeah, he wants that one. So, a price was looked for, not seeing it, he rose his head to glance at the shops door and promptly stood up to head inside with a curious glance around for people.

Jace had been distracted for the last half hour.

As soon as strange boots tread into his forest, the spirits there began to whisper to him about the stranger who crossed into their territory. Jace was able to follow the man's entire trip, from entry to exit, as if he was getting the play-by-play of a soccer match. Despite the spirits being a bit up in arms about the whole thing--which wasn't uncommon--the man seemed to have simply decided to take the scenic route.

When he finally emerged, Jace was already watching the door for him. He positioned himself near the front of the building, making a show of watering some of the plants near the register.

Jace took in the man when he entered, eyes drifting over him casually. Curiosity piqued, he moved a bit closer, watering can in hand. The man seemed perfectly at ease, so Jace suspected that he was probably harmless...Or at least mostly harmless. When the man's hand drifted over the plant, Jace could feel it whisper a pleased little sigh.

Well, his forest may've been up in arms about the stranger, but the plants in his greenhouses seemed perfectly at ease...

Jace resolved to figure it out himself. Plants were not a good judge of people.

Before he could make a remark, a hand landed on his head, making the brunette freeze while his eyes widened in disbelief. The last thing Niko expected was for Max to initiate contact himself. Plus, the method of contact was simply... completely unexpected. Surely, if he was alive, too many mechanisms would've been set off by this simple head pat. Wait, no they wouldn't. What was he even thinking? Half of him wanted to recoil instead from that thought—but if he did that, they'd be back to square 1 or completely ruined. The warmth growing on his cheeks meant nothing.

Trying not to put too much focus on how nice it actually felt to have this soft intimacy, the corpse attempted to look casual as he returned to sipping on his milkshake—only to wince at the flavor. Using the excuse to look away and inspect what he bought, his gaze shifted to the drink in his hand, his grimace speaking to his disappointment. Yeesh, how'd he mess that up? These were totally frozen strawberry pieces! He set his disappointment of a milkshake aside.

And now he couldn't distract himself anymore. Actually, having a hand ruffle his hair right now didn't feel bad at all. So what if it felt nice? There wasn't anything wrong with feeling that, right? What was he getting so worked up for? He never really thought Max as the type to gentle about anything, but this was likely just a one time thing. He doubted this kind of thing would happen again. For now, he just had to bear his own emotional discomfort in spite of genuinely being more than okay with fine with the contact itself.

Still, was Max okay? Niko couldn't help but worry as the hand in his hair continued to ruffle through it. As much as he was savoring tolerating this little bit of closeness, he found himself worrying about how Max might respond after this moment passed. What if this only lasted for now and he felt the recoil effects way la—

Or maybe his worry was unfounded if that laugh and cheer meant anything.

Taking the chance to get himself out of his emotional discomfort, Niko reached to pry Max's hand off his head, holding it away loosely by his wrist and keeping his fingers out of reach of his scalp. Giving the other a (weak) pointed look, he attempted to mask his unnecessary feelings behind half furrowed brows and a (not so) serious gaze.

Until he met Niko, Max had never even considered trying to tame his diagnostic power.

Niko reached up and pulled Max's arm away by the wrist. The touch felt ginger--as if Niko was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And again the demigod was reminded of how shitty the last time they'd come into contact had gone, and what it had done to Niko's confidence.

Max's eyes locked on Niko's, the furrowed brow just causing the demigod to smirk in response.

"I can imagine it wasn't," Max agreed. Honestly, he hadn't really expected to go with such a grand test of his newfound control either. It would have been much safer to just give the corpse a little poke with a bare finger. It made more sense to use smaller contact to test something that had very nearly damned this entire friendship...But the urge had struck Max, and the demigod rarely did anything in half measures.

"In case it's escaped your notice, I'm not losing my shit at physical contact with you." I saw what happened last time, and I felt guilty for hurting you. As if he'd fucking say that out loud. Biting back that thought with a grin, Max flexed his wrist in Niko's hold, not making any attempt to pull away.

Yet.

It was the end of it, wasn't it? He wanted it too much? Manifested the wrong outcome of something so smoothly running. He was the full stop to something amazing and when he was just finally coming to terms with maybe asking for something more, something more end game - Max didn't want that. It was a bitter pill, his tongue tasted like bile in all honesty, but he couldn't run. Legs felt like wet ham, no strength, cold and woozily even though he was already sat down. The world felt strangely out of it, and he didn't blink much, didn't need to wet his eyes when they were filling with tears. A build up of a fear, a regret and emotionally far too invested in wanting to let this happen. He should honestly shout out that he didn't want this end, that he was enjoying his time and he wanted more, selfishly, of Max's time and attention, but instead he couldn't move his hand.

He didn't want to get his hopes up to be hurt even more, so he was willing to stop - to pull away his thoughts, to move onto the next lonesome night and empty bedding. Just as he was spiralling, just as he was ready to close off his heart and put those walls up high - his hand was yanked away. A battering ram through a locked gate, just before the last barrier was slid into place to seal the entrance. He felt his head raise, his lungs inhale sharp and his lips part with the need to make nothing clog that intake. It hurt, and yet - the confusion was clear upon his face at Max's words. Back to Earth? … Why? He was… ah. He was panicking… his lashes fluttered, realisation once again settling in his bones. The dread that burrowed his vision cleared away with each breath and the sagging of his shoulders was minute but enough to let this observant one know, Ritsu was back in the room.

Though the rolling lips, the teeth that clenched in his jaw, he was waiting for the punch to the gut. The plummet of all he was building up… this moment, this was dangerous because it was rebuilding what he was ready to put into a box and not think about again. Then… he said it. "No, no I'm not trying to break things off." Oh… oh…. thank fucking god. Ritsu's soul seemed to ascend, his lashes glisten and gaze clears away the fog within an easy sweep of Max's continues words. "S-sorry." For the headbutt, it was a small whisper, but he was currently being taken aback. His head hadn't let go of those words, the 'not trying to break things off', that meant, that meant so much - because it was a possibility that his manifesting wasn't a curse to what they had.

No, was this?

It was, wasn't it?

"Something more…"

Ritsu, felt himself lean closer, felt himself pull inward to hear it all, the way Max was shyly, out of his own arrogant self speaking with truth. Hands between them registering, the movement of their thumb imprinted his mark and Ritsu could only squeeze their fingers in a manner that felt like it should be searing in heat to forge this moment into their flesh. His cheeks turn pink, nose head tilts and tilts and then collides with a full body release of tension to land on Max's shoulder. "You… " Second hand rose from his lap, life returning to his senses and fingers grip at Max's shirt to scrunch a ball of material to squeeze out the anxiety that took everything he was.

"You idiot… idiot, I thought… I ruined it, wanting more from you. I thought… " He sighed out, shakily but not weeping, just really, really fucking relieved. As their hands remained together, Ritsu stared at them from where he was resting, needing just a little minute, just a little more time to bask in Max's awkwardness, to let him sweat just a bit - wondering if he felt just a shred of what he felt in that very moment, in the silence between them. Ritsu didn't relish as much as Max's godly complex did though, instead, he inhaled, pushing himself away in a fluid motion to look to the ceiling before rolling his head down to look back at the other man.

"I will have all of you… thank you. Even all the arrogant, high almighty sides of you." Ritsu… felt his lips crack into a smile, a little grin of happiness that zinged throughout his being. His heartfelt weird, stomach too, but he couldn't help but laugh lightly, a little chuckle. "I … almost cried thinking you heard my thoughts and denied me the hope of something more." Gaze low, but the mood not with it, in fact Ritsu felt stupidly energized. "I'm glad to be of high risk, I want to be with you for a good while… if you're willing to stay with me too?" Tilting crown, Ritsu took in Max's features, his hand no longer fisting their shirt but instead raising to cup their cheek and jaw, but deciding, yeah - this was his now. This entire face… was his.

Tugging at their conjoined hand, Ritsu decided he wanted to seal it, this want and mutual need for them to stop the silly bet and solidify their heads and hearts catching up together. Glasses lifted to remove bother, Ritsu could only smirk upon leaning in himself to kiss at their lips. A soft touch, just a touch to test the waters of this new sensation throughout his cells. "… Can I call you my lover for real, now?" Another kiss. "Boyfriend?" Another kiss, two even. "Partner?" They never felt right in his mind when he thought of them alone, but maybe one of them would resonate here, at this moment. "Mine?"

Idiot? Max questioned to himself, momentarily too shocked by the insult to register the words that followed. He'd made himself vulnerable here, only to get called and idiot? Rude. The only reason Max's defenses did not immediately go up was because of the clear relief in Ritsu's body language--the head that slumped forward onto his shoulder.

And then he understood. Yeah, he had been something of a fool with he way he opened this whole conversation...But it wasn't as if there was some magical road map or step-by-step guide to how you were supposed to ask your fuckbuddy to be your boyfriend.

Sue me, I've never done it before.

And now it was Max's turn to feel relief. Ritsu wanted him--not just physically, but him. In the same way. His heart raced, and he struggled not to let the giddiness show on his face, as Ritsu released the fist in his shirt and cupped his cheek. Max met his eyes just as Ritsu's glasses came off. And when they kissed, Max hmmm'd softly into it, and the two--three--Dammit let me answer you!--kisses that followed it. He grunted trying to get a word in edgewise. It was frustrating how every fucking term that Ritsu uttered made his stomach do a small flip.

He liked them. Every single one of them. And he wanted them all to be true. And that surprised him almost as much as his own desire for this relationship had. Today was full of surprises. Heart still racing, Max's pressed his forehead to Ritsu's and took a deep breath to calm his nerves.

Could Ritsu feel that the hand he was holding was shaking a little?

"Call me all those things..." Max mumbled in the small distance between them. "Call me all those things, every single day, and I'll accept responsibility for your feelings." And all at once Max really put together what this meant. He was no longer the perpetually--though intentionally--single playboy. He was taken. No more men of the evening. No more one and done fucks. No more flirting with random men who wanted him but with whom he'd never deign to sleep.

It was just this man now--all of that belonged to Ritsu, and Max hoped that his archer knew what that would mean. No one had ever had all of his attention before.

Even Max didn't really know what Ritsu had signed up for. Worse yet, even Max didn't know what kind of boyfriend he would be to Ritsu.

Max's walls were still down. He felt vulnerable, and a bit raw around the edges. Emotional in a way that he rarely, if ever indulged. But he knew if this was going to work--and gods help him he wanted it to work--he was going to need to start letting Ritsu in. Really letting him in.

So we'll start here.

"Here...I need to say something, but I can't say it while you're looking at me..." Max mumbled as he shifted himself so that he sat behind Ritsu, the archer's back against his chest, their legs stretched out in front of them. Max took the opportunity to press a small kiss to Ritsu's temple, the back of his neck. And the mop of golden blond curls slumped against Ritsu's shoulders while he steeled his nerves. Another deep breath, and he forced out the words.

"I don't know how to be a partner, or a boyfriend. I don't know how to belong to someone, or with someone." Max said, his arms snaking around Ritsu's waist and pulling him that little bit closer. "You're the first. And I'm going to fuck this up. I'm going to hurt you--even if I never mean to. It's going to take me time to learn how to be what you deserve, but I want you to teach me."

God he felt weak and stupid admitting all this...His eyes were stinging with the frustration and damage to his ego as he put all his shortcomings out in the open.

It was nice, this place, this person, this moment in time. It would be one of those things he would look back on once he stops being able to see things for what they were. Though in all honesty, he didn't want this thing they have to end, to stop in any form either, but he honestly didn't know how to go about it himself. Instead, he did what he did best - just think about it another time. Let himself enjoy the good for the good and take everything else on the chin as it comes. Things were going smooth, great even, he got a living-boyfriend without the title, but a promised commitment that was so seemingly foreign and against his expectations that it did sometimes throw him off. Max in his home, Max in his bed, Max in his life - never to be removed.

He always came back too, even when he had the freedom of not … doing his side of the bargain. Strange, how right now, the deal they made felt, icky, like tar, sticky like honey between the fingers on a hot summer day. It smelt nice, but felt unpleasant.

As he lay in place, welcomed the touch with a flutter of his lashes that aided in shutting his mind up though, Ritsu was in bliss. At peace, considering what he just figured out for himself. Though even so, that was shattered soon enough by the stopping of Max's humming to be asked The Question. Oh. Ritsu - wasn't sure how to respond personally, though he just figured it out in his head, to be asked so openly and in the literal moment the penny dropped - he didn't know how to open his mouth.

To voice the logical results of this deal and now, on the spot, his heart hammered with a sudden guilt? Anxiety? Something of the two, something else he couldn't name, but he didn't shy away from reacting with his full body either. Promptly sitting up, he wanted to stand up in all honesty, but his leg got caught under him, and he just sat in place instead like a deer in headlights. What was he… looking for in that answer? Ritsu - spared a glance, not really registering their expression right that moment, but instead, the churn in his gut that felt like he needed to be sick was hard to dismiss with a grimace.

"… Why are you asking?" It… wasn't what he wanted to ask, but it felt defensive, sharp, his tone low with panic, yet it felt so loud in his own head. "I… sorry, no. I mean…" Oh, how do you say it? Glasses adjusted, hands scramble for some thought process to work right, to get himself out of this predicament, the floor swallows him whole? Rocky explodes in the room? Nothing? Great… just great. Where does he look now? At the floor? The wall over Max's shoulder? That perfect curl in his hair? The freckles? His lips? No, the eyes? No, no, no, those were deadly, and his head lowered without a thought more on it.

Ritsu's sudden lurch upright almost sent Max toppling over backwards. The hand that'd been brushing against Ritsu's cheek seconds ago fell backwards to prevent himself from falling over. It took Max a moment to register the look on that beautiful face. He wasn't the most empathic of souls, but that looked suspiciously like...Panic.

And when Ritsu finally spoke, his tone told Max he'd guessed right. Was his question really so surprising? Why would Ritsu look--sound--so startled. He replayed it through his mind again, looking at it from another perspective...

He felt his stomach drop.

It could have sounded a bit like he was trying to break things off. But that wasn't his goal at all. And now, here he was watching Ritsu's systems slowly shut down. The other archer's eyes seemed to go a bit distant, and it looked every bit like he was trying to hide himself behind his hand--Max's mind read it as if it were a veiled attempt at shielding himself.

And for one, awful, terrible second, Max basked in the idea that Ritsu was scared of losing him. He was a vain, fickle creature. And he didn't know if his pride would've survived if he'd learned he was in this alone.

Max reached out and took that hand away from Ritsu's face, the act a physical representation of the demigod tearing down that final wall between them. He laced their fingers together in front of them, palm-to-palm. He felt the rough callouses of Ritsu's fingers against his own and rubbed his thumb gently against the side of Ritsu's hand trying to ground him.

"Hey, come back to Earth for a moment," Max chided quietly. The slight ghost of a smirk pulled at the corner of his lips. "No, no I'm not trying to break things off." He reassured. "But I'll admit to some degree of pride that you were so startled by the idea that you near headbutted me."

He screwed up his lips for a moment as he weighed his words--as if each one was going to cost him something he could never earn back. Max had never been the chaser. He did not pursue. He did not connect. He did not commit. But seeing Ritsu's reaction had ignited something of a fire in him.

Max wanted him. Wanted to be the only one who could have him, for as long as he could have him. And Max did not deny himself what he wanted, even if it cost him more than he was prepared to pay.

But he'd never wanted something that made him vulnerable before. He was taking a leap and it cost him more than Ritsu could ever know. If he was rejected--he refused to allow himself to dwell on that.

"Something more..." Max mumbled, his honey-gold eyes focused on their entwined hands rather than Ritsu's eyes. If he saw doubt flicker behind those beautiful eyes, Max knew all his walls would come back up, and he would abandon this whole thing before he could be hurt.

"I want more. This--us--more. I...I don't commit. It's been my self-imposed law for my entire life. And I've never even second guessed it before. Not even once." He cleared his throat, gaze still lingering on their hands. Max swallowed hard. "But I'm second guessing it now, because I'm willing to risk it now. I...If you'll have me, I suppose."