dont go big, go home

if they're gonna remake The Princess Bride, it should open with a kid sick in bed scrolling on his phone. his grandpa arrives with a gift--it's a DVD player with a disc already inside. grandpa hooks it up to the TV and presses play. and we all just watch the original 1987 film again.

they don’t warn you about it but if you love your own company enough to be content by yourself and you’ve got some standards for who you’d date, you’ll spend a lot of time single and nobody will really get why you’re doing that because surely you want to come home and hang out with craig, right? right????? don’t you want to hang out with craig?

I hate ruminating on what could have been. Out here thinking "if only I locked in when I was 13" are we serious

the detached brutality of all these “women need to have more babies” thinkpieces man

james baldwin was so right when he said “the children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe; and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality.”

technicolour is like a dead wife to me

a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

so difficult being a simon and garfunkel fan during a heatwave when you can't hear the drizzle of the rain and the autumn winds doesn't blow chilly and cold and you can't turn your collar to the cold and damp and the leaves that are green aren't turning to brown and the new york city winters aren't bleeding you and there isn't a patch of snow on the ground and the sky isn't gray and white and cloudy and you're not alone on a winters day in a deep and dark december and-

when are they going to make a tv show about two women fucking all the time. that is also sponsored by the canadian government

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.