for me this episode solidifies why the show feels so flat since chris left (not even season 7 onwards with the new squad, but season 6 as well) it showcases so clearly why 20 squad works so well together. it shows just how deeply they all feel the family bond and all believe in one another so wholey. which is also exactly why the show doesn't feel right/the same without all of them together, for 5 seasons they put such an emphasis on this specific group making 20 squad a family and showcasing their bonds as well as the lengths they'll go to protect each other. when you lose one of them, it starts to fall apart and then when you lose more well...

its one of the reasons i love the show so much but i do also think its one of the places the show failed the most. setting it up like this just made it inevitable that if anyone left, it wouldnt feel the same anymore and they'd struggle to continue. i know it was linas choice to leave and i completely respect that but... i do wish they'd tried harder to at least have her make some guest appearances. this also isnt me shitting on the new characters, ive watched season 6 (and streets leaving episode in season 7) and i do love everyone they brought on, i just think when you emphasise one group so heavily its gonna have a huge impact if one leaves (or multiple). i know the upside is we got cannon stris... but i honestly cant say whether it was worth it for just 2 episodes of them being shown dating. i do really appreciate what we did get from them though.

as much as i hate the sanchez storyline, i think it's one of the ones in this show that was scripted and acted out incredibly well. the conversation between sanchez, hondo and hicks at the end of the episode was such a good scene and everyone acted their ass off especially the guy that played sanchez (forgive me i dont know his actors name) but its really telling to me when an actor plays their role so well that i genuinely hate the character. that scene also makes me laugh at how hicks is just constantly ready to hold hondo back and i love how you can see he really has hondos back. i dont talk about hicks much (street hyperfixation is real whops) but i really do love the growth they gave his character, especially after cortez left. i feel like we actually get to see so much more from him now and his relationships with the team, its really nice to see how protective he actually is of them.

streets mum... i really like this episode because it actually expands on the complicated feelings he has for her. i also love that they added in him confronting hondo about how he and the team felt about him disappearing for months. i appreciate when they actually show the effects of trauma (and the fact that anyone would've been a little annoyed at their friend disappearing for so long) and street telling hondo he's had enough people do that in his life was definitely needed. im grateful because it shows just how far their relationship has come and just how deeply they care for and respect each other. the way they resolved it so maturely was appreciated it too, it felt true to their characters and im glad hondo didn't deflect.

stris... god this season has some of the best stris scenes but also the most painful. im glad street was honest about how he felt especially with him dealing with his mums death, i can understand how their situation would be weighing on him more. i wish chris was more honest, its clear she just wants to be there for him and although its understandable streets frustrated with the confusing situation they're in, i wish she'd expressed that so he could've understood more if that makes sense? i know chris struggles at this point in the show to be open about how she feels about street because she's scared and i really understand that, but i also understand street's frustration with needing to understand where they stand. idk man its such a hard situation for the both of them especially with street now grieving his mum i just wanna hug them both 😭

also random observation but why is deacon always the one arresting suspects in piles of stuff its so funny to me seeing him try n cuff them with boxes or buckets or packaging in the way. also random other observation but in episode 9 (survive, visited family and they were a little further ahead in season 5 than where i left my rewatch, but its their first watch) he comments about trying to swear less which is so funny in the context of a show where the most they can say is crap or bitch... please let them say fuck 🙏🏻