Sideblog of the Strange @strawberry-vermin - Tumblr Blog

literally my favorite thing is seeing a friend from a ways away and just pointing at them like I’m in mad max and I’m about to run them off the road

wizardpepsi

- me seeing my dear friend from across an empty room

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weaver-z

The year is 2031. Riverdale is finally over. The new edgy reboot of a wholesome cartoon series is Charles, a gritty retelling of Charlie Brown. Charlie is played by a now-27-year-old Finn Wolfhard. Linus’ “blankie” is where he stashes his drugs. Sally has dissociative identity disorder and the writers’ only research was watching Split ten times while high. Lucy’s father is in the mafia. Snoopy dies in episode one. The showrunners only made one good decision, and it’s that Schroeder is gay now.

jonayariley

Coming soon to the CW.

spydecai

HOW did you get almost every plot point of Dog Sees God down to a point?? Is that the joke here?

weaver-z

I want you to know that I quite literally did not know about that play until people in the notes told me about it months ago. I made up the funniest “grimdark” twists I could think of and ended up predicting an existing piece of media with horrifying accuracy. I hate it here too

oursaviorkellinquinn-deactivate

ATTENTION

If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)

only-tiktoks

laughingfish

Better than 3 seasons of BBC Sherl*ck

teaboot

Cold open to the hottest new procedural crime show

tiktoksijustthinkareneat

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edgar-allan-possum

Can't mansplain manipulate manslaughter my way out of this one

curly-cottage-girl

Manwhore it is then

edgar-allan-possum

Ma'am, please. That's not me.

curly-cottage-girl

Malewife?

edgar-allan-possum

rabidlitmajor

Noooo don't get a tattoo it's so permanent blah blah blah my tattoo is whatever I want it to be and today it's an octopus

ratchetmessreturns

Actually sounds like the applicant dodged a bullet

thegayjoker

if dark chocolate has a million fans, then i am one of them. if dark chocolate has ten fans, then i am one of them. if dark chocolate has only one fan then that is me. if dark chocolate has no fans, then that means i am no longer on earth. if the world is against dark chocolate, then i am against the world.

cheaphalloweencostume

not to get too deep on main but did anyone else have such deeply rooted issues with their self worth for so long that they thought as a kid/teen that their only redeeming feature was being “low maintenance” and now as an adult you give yourself guilt pangs asking for any more than the barest minimum in virtually any relationship because asking for things might negate your only good quality which is just “doesn’t ask for things”

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schizophrenicarchivist-remade-d

When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay

Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe

4-6 lbs of Hamburger/turkey burger

1 pk onion soup mix OR ranch mix

1 TBs ketchup

1 Tbs spicy brown mustard,

1 Tbs bbq sauce

1 Tbs steak sauce

1 egg

mix, shape into a loaf in a big pan, and bake at 350 for 2 hrs (maybe 2 and a half if you’re feeling dangerous)

You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf

comfynb

here’s a mashed potato recipe from my homophobic mother that i swore to never share that would pair perfectly!

(6 servings)

-2lbs red potatoes

-1 cup butter (2 sticks)

-1 cup cream cheese (1 pack)

-Chives (optional)

-Salt & Pepper to taste

1. drop those bad boys (potatoes) in a big ol pot. U don’t even have to chop them just wash them

2. boil til soft!

3. Drain

4. Mash (usually they’re small enough you can use a fork if u don’t have one of those squashers) until its a pretty chunky mix

5. add the other stuff. Keep mashing

I like my mashed potato consistancy more lumpy but its all up to you!! Peel the potatoes or keep them on, it literally makes the creamiest fluffiest mashed potatoes which she always served with the nastiest fuckin meatloaf

tastefullyterrible

So after spending hours combing through the recipes in the comments of this post I have created a cookbook. Feel free to use it. The link should work for everyone, its the only file on the google drive! I have referenced all of the recipes I used, all of which are from this thread. I made it for myself, but figured after all that work I should probably share. Happy spite cooking!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WjcDfZrPMr0Pw9f5GfEy0aTs2KEx4Pub/view?usp=sharing

animatedamerican

there is a SPITE COOKBOOK now :DDD

uwuplasmiusuwu

I just remembered my second Pride, where I made different flag themed daisy chain bracelets/necklaces to hand out. I need folks to understand something:

They were free.

They were fucking free.

They were maybe ¢60 of acrylic yarn each at the most, and the whole ziploc bag of them took 2 hours max.

Three people gave me sad eyes until I took their money.

Someone who was clearly the mom friend of their group made me take a $5 and gave a 10 minute pep talk.

At least four more people insisted on getting change to pay for the, once again, free bracelets.

In spite of all these shenanigans, the absolute best was this one person who I can only describe as, “queer surfer dude who looks like a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend.” I can remember nothing of the outfit, only the impeccable vibes. I did the same thing I did with everyone else, explaining the bracelets were free, and they nodded along as they took the last 6 strand rainbow bracelet. As soon as they had it on their wrist, they pointed at something over my shoulder and, like a fool, I looked.

Next thing I know, they’re running off cackling, yelling, “YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME!” and I’m holding a fucking $20. I had to stop at least two people from chasing them, cause they thought the person stole something, and then they tried to give me money cause they thought it was funny seeing me flail over people being Too Nice.

That was the year I got reverse-robbed at Pride. I hope everyone out there is having a good time and, in particular, that queer surfer dude is out there still causing benevolent chaos.

sleepyurl

imagine someone thinking of you and buying you flowers

coolxatu

ok now imagine a horse as a skeleton with a blue fire mane

7979797

tumblr is best app u just talk to urself and ppl go yep so true bestie

paramud

thenatsdorf

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

immaplatypus

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck. Not bad luck. I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

official-mugi

“See him face”

I sure fucking do see him face

just-things-i-enjoy

Him face

luccorvus

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021

catsbeaversandducks

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021 (2)

bakarilennox

Reblog him face for good luck in 2022

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