".. oh to be a child.."

Experiencing you, and having to lose you..

You think I don't know how to be mean or wicked too? I've let you treat me with absolute disregard. You even told me you're only responding because you didn't want to be mean, and that you'll stop soon. Ended the call on me more than a few times. The things I've taken from you...The disrespect. Over something I have no control over...Tip toeing around it all because I don't want to say the wrong thing, while you go all out on me.

Do you seriously believe that talking to me like that doesn't hurt coming from you? Do you not think that what you say to me truly gets to me? Do you think you can stand it if I actually go out of my way to be mean to you?? I can be one mean fucking bastard you know that? But I know you're already in a lot of pain. And I'll never go out of my way to hurt you. I love you. And yet you resent me.

I don't want to hear anyone else say it if it isn't you.

Don't reach out for my friendship either. We know how it goes. And sincerely, I don't want it. Not anymore. Not after everything. I know it's presumptuous of me to think you'll ever ask. But it's whatever. This is the perfect time to purge ourselves of each other. And I will give it my best. I want you out of my system.

Stay gone this time around.

I wish you well with whomever you've found (or find) to endure time with. I hope they make you happy. I hope you keep chasing your dreams. I hope to see your name in the limelights someday.

But that's how you want me...

Pathetic,

Feral,

Frustrated,

Confused,

“I'll keep myself for you. I promise...”

Fuck you! You betrayed me, and then you bragged about it to my face. You've broken every bond we had. Every promise you made to me. There were just words to you weren't they?