Strangeness and Charm

Sometimes it looks like wearing a seatbelt when driving a car

or hesitating before you cross the street.

It looks like breakfast when you remember to eat and by god, it’s okay if it has to be something sweet. (Chocolate chip muffins are my favorite treat.)

Sometimes recovery looks like remembering to shower even when the midnight hour is telling you it is too late,

and sometimes it looks like leaving at half past eight when your school or job started at seven.

Sometimes recovery looks more like hell than heaven but oh, there is brilliance in the way it shines,

it is more human and broken and less divine, but it is no less beautiful. (And I promise you it takes my breath away.)

Sometimes recovery is choosing to stay even after you’ve decided to leave, sometimes recovery is less joy, more grief, sometimes it’s agony, sometimes it’s relief,

and messy, by god is it messy.

But it is recovery.

And if all I can do is remind you that all recovery does not look the same,

And that you do not bear the blame if yours takes longer than others.

(Because there is no timeline to recover all that matters is that you just don’t give in.)

If you just let yourself stand again you will have already won the war, because recovery is deciding that you are worth fighting for

and you are, dearheart, you are.

Sometimes recovery doesn’t look like fading scars but it does look like you do today,

a quarter to nine, well past eight rushing because you are late