Your Little Angel

Don’t be either angry or sad. I’m a big girl, who just keeps letting the wrong ones in and continues to get hurt. Continue to fall for words that all end up with nothing coming from them. Happiness I never felt before. Feelings I’d never felt before. Then they ghost ya. (Mainly the last guy I really got involved with) but then come back and mentally fuck me around some more but they don’t realise that’s what they’re doing?! I’m the silly little girl who falls for their lies and words. I’m the silly girl who has an abundance of issues. I’m the silly girl who is disgusting. I’m the silly girl who let myself get to this point. I’m the silly girl that allows myself to get hurt. No-one else. I deserve anything that gets thrown at me. I’m just getting used to actually being alone and settling with that fact. There’s no amount of anything that’ll fix the issues, only money. Money I’ll never have. Money I’ll never save enough off because I’m a mum first and her needs come before my own. Even if my own are falling apart and causing a great amount of pain. That’s my fault. I let it get bad. No-one else should spend their hard earned money on my wants.

Please don’t crush on me, I’ll hurt you.

I’ve given up on tinder, I get a lot of random requests on my Facebook most idk who they are. I’ve had people message me privately on my Instagram, but I tend to forget to check there. People have randomly added me on Snapchat and tried. But if I don’t know who you are or what you look like I’m less likely to talk to someone. Just because I’m an open book, but I have my daughter and I don’t just accept any and every random male that adds me, because usually it’s men.

Idk, I’m in this weird place mentally. I want to be loved. But I’m avoiding it at literally any and every chance, just to stop myself from there being and possibilities of me getting hurt. So you’ve really gotta stand out and be different. But I’m too broken to be loved. I’m falling apart and I’m actually disgusted in myself lmao

There’s clearly a reason that none of the guys ive been with in the past haven’t stayed around and I know and understand why. But I can’t change it, I don’t have the money to fix the problems. 😪