sziszi

A few months ago, I had two moles removed from the top of my head. I have had these two moles since I was a child, I have always been told that they are harmless, that nothing 'bad' will ever happen to them. My parents were discouraged when asked about removing them, because 'why shave the girl's hair, the removal may leave scars and her hair might never grow back'. They were told, and later, year after year, by several dermatologists I was told they are harmless, they will never be a threat for cancer and I should only think about a removal if it concerns my vanity. My hair covered them up, so I saw no point. Then, earlier this year I noticed them growing bigger, turning into an angry red shade. I booked an appointment, but didn't think too much of it, after all I have been told my entire life that these types of moles will never turn into cancer. I thought I was perhaps too rough with my hairbrush, had a bad reaction to a new shampoo or bumped my head and scratched them, nothing sinister. When the doctor looked at them, she immediately scheduled the next closest appointment. Still, I was calm, she told me I have nothing to worry about, I have probably scratched the surface and hurt them without noticing. The removal went fine, sure It was painful and bloody and I got a few stitches and I couldn't wash my hair for two weeks, but all it made me wonder that I really could have done this when I was younger, during a summer break and not rotting in home office with my greasy hair. Then suddenly, my phone rings, and words I never thought I would hear are ringing loud in my ears.

In the end, I was very lucky. I had other moles removed from similar areas (for some reason I always had a lot of moles on my head, covered by my hair) and all of them came back negative. All my following tests, blood work, everything were negative. I'm healthy, in fact I'm probably way healthier now than I have ever been in my entire life. Still, this has shocked me through my core. It may be strange to say this, but I feel like I have trauma from something that didn't even 'really' happen. It was over before I could know it, and yet my body and soul still took their time to react.

I hope it goes without saying that I am by any means not here to fish for sympathy or concerned messages. I only wish to raise awareness to prioritise your health and take whatever small concerns you may have seriously.