StormiiFlies

Expansion on this.

After Tim and Bruce got back from the OBGYN check-up, Bruce had to leave Tim in the manor for... Business.

Tim, turning after he hears the door open: "Dick? I didn't know you'd be ho-!?"

Tim, doubling over: "What the fuck?!"

Dick, punching Tim in the stomach: "I can't believe that clone did this to you!"

Tim: "What-"

Dick, smothering Tim into a hug: "As your big bro, I can't just stand by and watch you throw away your life like this."

Dick, getting dramatic: "You're too young! You're too beautiful!"

Tim, confused and maybe a little concussed?: "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Dick, pointing at his stomach: "Baby."

Tim, scandalized: "I'm not pregnant!"

Dick: "Well not anymore!"

Tim, face palming: "I was never pregnant, Dick."

Dick, skeptical: "Are you su-!?"

Jason, walking in with a book, was clearly disturbed by the noises: "What the fuck are you all yelling about?"

Dick, gesturing to Tim: "Timmy got preg-"

Jason "hell nah" Todd: Uppercuts Tim's stomach

Jason "not on my watch" Todd: "I know we've had our differences, but as the only relatively sane person in this family, you cannot be doing this right now."

Jason: "Do you seriously think mo- Bruce is going to let you solve cases if you're rocking a fetus fanny pack?"

Tim "oh my fucking god" Drake-Wayne: "...are you done?"

Tim, sighing: "I'm. Not. Fucking. Pregnant!"

Tim: "It was a false alarm!"

Dick, sharpening his eskrima sticks laced with kryptonite: "Wait, really?"

The light honey and milk scent of a pup turned sour and rotten from rage and sadness. He marches up to his eldest brother and pushes him. Hard.

“You liar!” Damian screams, face flushed as he goes to punch Dick, but is held back by a bewildered Tim.

Tim curses, grabbing Damian’s wrists and tugging him away from Dick. “Dude, what the fuck?”

“I- baby bat? What is going on?” Dick asked, eyes wide from being pushed and yelled at for seemingly no reason.

“Damian, you need to calm the fuck down,” Jason grumbled out, already standing nearby, hands poised to also restrain the young pup if he managed to wiggle out of Tim’s grasp.

Damian let out an enraged whine, struggling hard before suddenly going limp in his older brother’s arms.

“Y-you- you’re all l-liars-“ Damian hiccuped, tears suddenly streaming down his cheeks as his breath stuttered. Jason, Tim, and Dick exchanged wild and scared looks.

Damian has never done something like this before. The pup has always been controlled and refused to cry in front of any of his family.

“Pup-“ Tim makes a move to scent him, hopefully calm him down, but Damian jerked away and started crying harder.

Dick slowly moved closer, keeping his hands up where Damian could see them and keeping his scent light. “Dames, what’s going on? Why am I a liar?”

Damian hides his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking. “Y-you said Ummi d-didn’t do omega things! T-that I shouldn’t b-bother!” Damian takes in another breath. “I-I wanted to, and you said no!”

Dick lets out a shaky breath. “He doesn’t-“

“Liar!” Damian screams, kicking his leg out and swiping Dick’s knee.

The alpha lets out a hiss of pain and allows himself to be pushed out of the way by Jason, taking a moment to surprise the pain, not only in his knee, but in his heart.

“Damian.” Jason’s voice is harsh, but he gently places his hands on his younger brother’s shoulders, keeping him steady. He nods up at Tim, and the omega slowly releases his grip from the pup. “Tell us what happened.”

Damian lets out a soft sob and desperately tries to wipe away the tears rapidly falling from his eyes. “J-Jon came over, and we were playing-“

“What does that have to do with Bruce?”

“Fuck, let him finish, Dick, he’s barely even started,” Tim snapped, crossing his arms and trying his best to look unaffected by his baby brother crying.

“And I l-left the room… then I came back and he just- he just asked!” Damian threw his hands up, looking frazzled and still in disbelief. “He just asked if Ummi would scent him, and he agreed!”

All three brothers’ eyes widened, and Tim’s mouth dropped in shock.

“What?” Dick breathed out quietly.

Jason looked away from Damian and made eye contact with Tim, speechless at what he was hearing.

“Damian, are you sure you heard right?” Tim asked shakily, uncrossing his arms, then crossing them again. He had no idea what to do with himself. “Bruce has never- we’ve never- are you sure?”

“Yes!” Damian wailed. “A-and then he did! He scented Jon, and they cuddled! And you lied! He does do that with pups! Why did you lie?!” Damian breaks down again, sobs shaking his body as he falls into Jason’s arms and doesn’t move.

Jason held his little brother close, trying to rumble softly to calm the pup down, but nothing was working.

The sound of hurried footsteps running down the hallway was accompanied by the scent of another anxious alpha.

Cassandra comes in quick, her body tense and poised for an attack, just in case one is coming. “What’s going on?” Cass demanded, heckles raised as she looked around the room.

“Cass-“

"We're just talking." Jason interrupts, glancing back at DIck. "Just... Damian's upset, and we're talking about it." The pup in his arms lets out another whine of distress.

“Whatever you’re doing, stop it. The scent of a distressed pup is drowning Mom, and he’s freaking out.” Cass said, moving closer to Damian. "Is little brother alright?"

Damain wiggles in Jason's arms and turns to face his older sister. "Do you- does Ummi scent you? Do you go into his nest?" His voice was soft and choked as he stared up at her with watery eyes.

"I-" Cass's brows furrowed. "Yes?"

That just seemed to set Damian off again as he started crying once more. Cass panicked a little, looking to her other siblings for help, but they were staring at her with the same confused, stunned expression.

"What do you mean Bruce scents you and lets you in his nest?" Dick asked, standing up and grabbing onto Cass's arm. "H-how often?"

"When did it start?" Tim grabs onto her other arm, his eyes wide.

Any other questions the brothers had to ask were immediately halted as Bruce rushed into the room, the scent of a anguished omega mixing in with the scent of a anguished pup. It was horrible.

Bruce's eyes were blown wide, his hair wild like he had run his fingers through it erratically, his muscles tense, and concern had never been etched on his face so clearly.

"Pup?" Bruce called out, his voice pitched up in a keen of distress. "Dami? Baby, are you okay?" Bruce's eyes scanned over all his kids, but locked on to the youngest in the room and frowned.

“Ummi!” Damian sobbed, reaching his hands out, and Bruce was on him in an instant.

Before anyone in the room could react, Damian was already safely cradled against Bruce’s chest, the omega softly humming an unknown song as he rocked the pup.

“Shh, you’re okay, my little prince. I’ve got you.” Bruce murmured, pressing a kiss to Damian’s forehead and pumping out soothing omega phermones that he only used in dire situations.

Damain instantly relaxed in Bruce's arms, melting in a way he's never been allowed to before. He was still just a pup. Being with his mom is right where he was meant to be. Just seeing him brought a comfort he never thought he was capable of feeling.

Bruce purred softly. More out of a need to comfort himself and comfort the pup in his arms.

"Let's..." Bruce hesitates. "Let's go to my nest, okay, pup? Do you- are you okay with that?"

Damain lets out a soft chirp in response, hugging Bruce tighter around the neck and burying his face in his Ummi's scent gland, taking deep breaths.

Bruce let out another purr and hugged Damian back, just as tight. "Okay... okay..." Bruce murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of Damian's head as he walked out of the room toward his own room, where his nest was set up without a glance back, his mind singularly focused on comforting his only pup in any way possible.

His four other children just watched. And soon, it was just them in the room.

"He's not going to ask you," Cassandra said, eyes still staring out the door where Bruce and Damian had left. "You know he's not going to ask."

"Why?" Jason asked softly, still kneeling on the floor. "Why can't he just ask? Why hasn't he asked?"

Cass finally looked back at them, her face carefully blank. "You already know the answer to that question."

Tim let out a deep, shuddering sigh and covered his face with his hands. "We would've said no."

"..." Dick closed his eyes and turned to the window, unable to bear looking at any of his siblings. He knew he was the one who started this. He knew, deep down, this was all his fault. He was the one who made Bruce not do 'omega' things with any of his children. "We have said no."

Cass nodded sharply. "He refuses to overstep."

Each of them could think of a time when they brushed Bruce off or yelled at him for trying to parent them. Rejecting everything the omega had to offer. Never once thinking of Bruce's feelings and Bruce's needs.

"We should-"

"No." Dick interrupted the other alpha, placing a hand on Jason's shoulder as he stood up to make his way to the door. "We can't- we shouldn't go in there. Bruce needs to focus on comforting Damian. Too many people could stress both of them out."

Tim let out a soft mewl of distress and doubled over, tears clear in his eyes. "We... I thought... I also wanted..." Tim stood up, unsteady on his feet as he pushed past his siblings. "I need to go to my nest..."

Tim stumbled out, and it didn't take long for Jason to follow and make his own escape, grunting out something about needing to go for a ride, before disappearing quickly.

Now, it was just Dick and Cass.

Cass stared, and Dick answered her unspoken question. "No... I guess I've never considered his feelings... I-Ive made fun of how he doesn't act like an omega... but I made him like that. Didn't I?"

"Maybe not entirely." Cass shrugged, walking over and patting him on the shoulder. "When I first asked, he... mom was so surprised. Mom was in denial and kept asking if I was sure. I think mom cried a little cause I was the first."

Dick winced, feeling his heart hurt.

"I've always wanted to, but... I guess..." There were too many things to think about. Bruce was new, and he needed time to get used to the older man's scent. And then he was still grieving his parents. And a million other things. It never seemed like the right time, and before he knew it, he had grown up and was desperately searching for independence and a chance to run away from his failed relationship with his mom Bruce.

Then more kids, more tragedies, more distance, more fights, less time, less affection, less bonding, less Bruce.

"He'll forgive you."

"That's the problem." Dick presses his forehead against the cool panes of the window. "He always... he always forgives..."

It makes a lot of things more difficult. Bruce has always accepted his dynamic, had found strength it in, and it allowed him to bond w his family. Where words fail, scent carries over his thoughts and feelings, his love and worry, his protection and his pride

But they’re damaged now, all of them. All of the easily accessible ones that allow him to scent mark his family, his loved ones

Now, imagine Jason. Jason, who is struck by something that regresses him to a pup mindset. He’s not the big, bad Red Hood. He’s just a puppy, a child, and he’s crying out for his mom

Bruce is on scene ASAP. It’s like he knew, like he could sense something was wrong, and he’s quick to gather Jason up in his arms. Jason recognizes his mom, even if Bruce is fully decked out in his suit, cowl included. Whatever mental age he’s at, he knew Bruce then and he recognizes him now, knows he’s safe, that his mom is here

But Jason needs a little more. He buries his face into Bruce’s neck, makes low little whines because he can’t reach Bruce’s scent glands. The high neckline of the batsuit block them off, serving as both protection and scent blockers. Jason is loud in his distress, using the bulk of his body to climb into Bruce’s lap and keep him immobile. He completely ignores Bruce’s protests, his attempts to get him to wait, it’s not safe to do this here-

But Jason persists. He needs Bruce to scent mark him, to blend their scents together and soothe Jason’s fear and anxiety like he always does. And when he manages to finally get to Bruce’s bare skin, he stops

There are so many scars. So many overlapping lines. Some are flat while others are raised. They’re thick and thin, like someone scratched over and over again at Bruce’s neck until they managed to rip beneath his skin. Jason lets out a pained trill, and Bruce returns it w a soft purr

“I’m okay, Jason. I’m okay.”

Jason’s stunned enough to finally allow Bruce to get him home, and when the whole suit is off, when Bruce is in soft and comfortable clothes, Jason makes his second attempt to smother himself in Bruce’s scent. He goes for his wrists this time, but they’re in similar, if not worse, states. Damaged, scarred over, and scentless

“Mama?”

Jason’s voice is small and scared. Who did this? Who hurt his mom?

Bruce’s smile is warm, but there’s an ache etched into his eyes

“Come here, baby. I can’t…I can’t scent mark you, but let me hold you anyway?”

It's not— it's not meant to happen, he doesn't know what to do, his instincts don't know what to do, his omega can't compute that his pup is grown up, when the last time he saw him he was smaller than Bruce's forearm.

He wants to drag Damian in to nest. He wants to smother him in his scent and never let him go, never let him be in danger again.

But Damian was raised exclusively bonding with only Al Ghuls. Believing that other bonds were frivolous, and he doesn't trust Bruce, the fact he's his mother doesn't matter, his pup doesn't want to scent him.

He can't bond his pup again, he's never bonded his other pups, his omega has no outlet for the instincts coursing through him. He starts producing milk again, because his baby used to be a baby and he's not anymore but his body doesn't understand that, and he has the same overprotective mother instincts he got back then too.

And nowhere to direct them.

His kid are giving him strange looks, hovering over their shoulders, wanting to spend more time with them, they don't object but Bruce can tell they're confused, he doesn't want to be acting like this— then Damian starts his attempts on the other pups, and Bruce wants to protect them, but he's his pup too, he doesn't know what to do, and he's failing his pups—they're not his pups—but he can't help it.

Alfred foists a pump on Bruce eventually, and starts dropping off the milk to the hospital, rather than let it go to waste. Bruce goes with him once, and he sees all those babies, and something in him heals. One of the nurses offers, and Bruce becomes one of the volunteers that holds babies, or bottle-feeds them.

It settles his tangled instincts, so he keeps going back.

The kids find out. Damian finds out. They can't understand why Bruce is going and holding other people's children, spending time with them, cuddling with them, not his own. Damian rejected Bruce's motherly advances but still finds himself enraged seeing them directed elsewhere.

They pull back from him, Bruce spends more time there as consequence, tensions grow and grow and—

It'd be funny if they assumed Bats has several baby daddies and then ask if he's at least getting child support

Like most of his rogues are alphas and betas surely they'd be angry an omega was abandoned with so many children

And there's Superman being "I'm the father that stepped up"

None of his kids will go inside Bruce’s nest, and he’s not allowed in theirs either, mostly due to misunderstandings that have persisted through the years. He wants it, he's tried, he's been rejected

However, one day, Wally comes over because Dick said he’d be over at the manor to hang out with Damian or something. He’s early, or Dick got caught up with something, and now Bruce and Wally are in a room together

One thing leads to another, and suddenly Bruce is happily purring while grooming Wally’s curly hair and cuddling happily in his nest. He's known Wally since he was just a pup, so he's pretty comfortable with the speedster

He thinks it’s a fluke and Wally will never do it again by the angry and confused look he gets from Dick, but Wally absolutely loves cuddling, and Mr Wayne is so big and warm he simply can’t resist

But it doesn’t stop at Wally

Jon comes over, and Bruce dotes on him the most because he’s just a pup, and Damian doesn’t allow him to. Having an unpresented pup that smells like milk and honey after so long just makes him elated; he's just chirping happily and purring up a storm

Kon even likes relaxing in his nest. He was wary at first, but quickly melted into a puddle when Bruce showed him some undivided attention. He loves it more when Jon’s there, so he doesn’t feel embarrassed to also smother his younger brother with affection

Even Roy is partial to letting Bruce scent him. They've had their disagreements, but he's also known Bruce since forever and a half. He even forced Bruce to scent a sweater to bring home, and Oliver texts him later, demanding to get a scented sweater as well, which makes Bruce feel so happy to be getting back in touch with his old friend

Bruce doesn't notice, but his kids are getting jealous. Like, really jealous

It's to the point where the Batkids are actively ignoring their friends or becoming downright hostile to them in some situations. Bruce is just happy that some people actually want to come into his nest

misa: oh, but he looks so nice...

will: yeah no. He punched my windshield once, didn't even say sorry. and since i'm the only one who can handle him, just imagine would he have done to you if he was already like to me - and like i said, i'm the only one who can handle him.

sam: that's crazy!

will: he is. and he hates rookies. very much.

misa: but we didn't do anything?!

will: i know and it's really unfair but he hates you and he'll fuck you up if you ever talk to him...i'm the only one who can handle him.

toff: what? that's bullshit! mack is the sweetest guy ever! ofc you rookies can talk to him, he'll love that

will: NO I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO TALK TO MY MACKEREL!

Jason: Wakes up in the middle of the night.

Jason: Sees Bruce sitting on the floor next to his bed, staring at him.

Jason: "....Hi."

Bruce: "....hello"

Jason: "What are you doing?"

Bruce: "Making sure you're still alive."

Jason: "..... You know what? Fair enough." Pats the spot next to him. "Hm?"

——

Cass knew Bruce.

She knew Bruce more than anyone, only being rivaled by Alfred and Dick, but that was to be expected. Really, the only thing those two had on her was time.

But she could confidently say she understood him in ways they simply couldn't comprehend, not for lack of trying, but for the very makeup of their beings.

They both had darkness within them.

The crippling fear of disappointing another person, especially one that you love, can be debilitating. The strain mentally and physically is beyond taxing. Knowing that you are able to perform correctly in one area of your life yet miss the mark completely in another area that matters more is... hard.

She knew and she understood how hard it was to simply believe that someone could love you, especially after years of being told and shown the exact opposite. Years and years of being told that you’re not even on the level of dog shit on the bottom of someone’s shoes messed with your psyche.

That doesn’t mean it wasn’t frustrating to watch as her Dad simply rejected it.

She wasn’t good with words, just like Bruce. But unlike Bruce, she also wasn’t good at writing down her feelings, not that he utilized that skill often.

For days, she stewed on what she could do, replaying what her siblings and Stephanie had said happened when they told Bruce they loved him, while trying to make it seem like nothing was bothering her.

With the way he appeared to unconsciously hurt himself any time his emotions got too big, she didn’t want to put any more pressure on Bruce. He does that to himself enough. She just wishes he saw what the rest of the family does, what all of Gotham does.

Cass likes Bruce’s hands. They’re big, warm, and gentle, no matter how scarred they were, and have the ability to hurt. And yet, he chooses not to.

He has never hit her unless they were sparring, and even then, Bruce doesn’t go for the kill. He never hurts her because he wants to hurt her. It’s not a fun game for him. He pushes her. Challenges her. Guides her in ways her father that man never could.

He chooses to save people. Her.

She dons a shadow to follow in his footsteps, to atone for the murders she had committed, to become free and be the one people look to for help. She takes his words, his actions, and nestles them right beside her heart so she knows what’s just.

He trusts her. She is not a weapon to be used and discarded till she is needed to inflict pain once more. No.

She is… Princess. Love, darling, gremlin, menace, an older sister, a younger sister, a daughter, and a granddaughter.

She is Cassandra.

And maybe… maybe Bruce forgets that he is Bruce. Maybe he just needs a push in the right direction. She can do that.

“What’s this?” He asks softly, always softly, and takes the flimsy piece of paper from her hand, looking over it seriously. Always so serious when it comes to her and the people he loved.

“Dance trope.” She explained, shifting her feet once, twice, three times. She was filled with boundless energy just thinking of how Bruce would react to her dance. “It’s finished. It’s finally finished. Show time.” She smiled, then did jazz hands. She got that from Stephanie and Dick.

She likes the fluttery movement; it reminds her of when Bruce stops paying attention to how to perfectly control his body and lets his hands flap in excitement or just to stimulate himself.

Bruce smiled back and reached out, pausing for a second just in case Cassandra wanted to duck out of the way, before patting her head. No matter how much he tried, her hair remained fluffy and bouncy, undeterred by the gentleness of her Dad smoothing back her hair.

“Sounds fun.” He crooned, his eyes crinkling at the sides, showing off his crows' feet. That’s how she knew he was smiling, even if the rest of his face remained a stoic mask. “There’s only one ticket?”

“Yes.” Cass nodded, grabbing the ticket and folding it carefully before placing it in the front pocket of his slacks, patting the fabric for extra security. “Just you this time. You’ll come?”

Bruce lets out a soft chuckle, and Cass is unashamed to say it’s one of her favorite sounds. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

She could tell that he was still confused about why he had been the only one chosen, but before he could ask, Cass dances out of the study, her socked feet helping her glide and spin across the wood floor, feeling lighter on her feet than she had since the realization with her siblings.

Yes. There’s no way he could possibly misunderstand her.

Despite what Dick claims, Cass thinks she knows Dad best and understands him the most.

And before she knew it, she was backstage. Her hair had been pulled back into a loose bun, letting a few strands frame her face perfectly. Everything was progressing perfectly.

“Remember,” Bethany finished filling in her eyeliner, taking a step back and admiring her work on such a beautiful subject, “this isn’t ballet, there are no rules. You’re meant to have fun. Be loose, express yourself, this is to show your family how much you appreciate them.”

Cass nodded. Of course.

She would express herself like no one had ever expressed themselves. Bruce would understand the love she had for him without her even having to say a word.

The bright lights of the stage, the gaze of hundreds of people, and the deep base of the music that could only be drowned out by the rapid beat of her heart. Exhilarating.

This is it. He’ll see the love and thought and admiration she put into this dance. The months she took to carve each move into her very soul. She bares it all to him, here up on stage, no words needed.

Cass takes her final pose as the music comes to an end; she’s never danced harder in her life. As her breath comes out in short, harsh pants, her eyes lock onto the one man who has irrevocably changed her life forever.

Bruce stood, tallest in the crowd but also front and center, clapping loudly. Even from on stage, Cass could see a few tears slip down her Dad’s face.

The moment she comes off stage, she’s greeted with a comically large yet beautiful bouquet of flowers.

Daphne flowers: grace and charm. White and blue hyacinths: prayers for a loved one, sincerity, and deep care. And of course, roses, just to keep with the tradition of expressing passion.

“I understand,” Bruce murmured softly, pulling his daughter into a hug, “I completely understand.” He whispered, and Cass felt her heart swell as pressure built behind her eyes and her view got a little blurry. The music of the next dance number faded away to a quiet hum. It was only her and her dad.

“You do?” She croaked.

“Of course I do. You were so… magnificent, beautiful, breathtaking… I simply don’t have the words to express how I feel after seeing your performance.” Bruce whispered back fiercely, pulling back to look her in the eyes. Cass reached up and gently wiped away a tear that slid down his cheek.

“You still miss him, don’t you?”

Cass paused.

“I’ve read plenty of books about this and… and I’ve experienced it myself a few times. David was the first father you ever knew. It’s perfectly normal to still miss him, even after everything that he’s done.”

And once again, just like every other important moment in her life, words failed Cassandra.

“Sometimes…” Bruce pauses, wondering if this was the right time and place to be this honest with his daughter, “sometimes I wish I could have had you as a baby. To save you from all that heartache you experienced so young.” Bruce lets a wistful sigh pass through his lips as he closes his eyes to reminisce about what could have been. “I think… I think I would have loved you right. I know I would have tried.”

Cass nodded, burying her face into Bruce’s shoulder and taking in a shuddering breath. “You would have. I know this.”

“I’m sorry you miss your father,” Bruce says instead of acknowledging her words. “I’m sorry I can’t fill that place in your life. I’m sorry… that my love isn’t enough for you.” Bruce says, his voice so mournful that an ache forms in Cass’s chest, so tightly wound she feels like she’ll suffocate. “I’m sorry he wasn’t able to see the dance you made for him.”

“No…” She swallows the lump in her throat.

Bruce looks confused.

“For you,” Cass says forcefully, dropping the bouquet and holding his hands. Those stupid, kind hands. “For you, Dad.” She repeats, looking him in the eyes.

He has to know. He must.

“I…” Bruce takes in a breath and stills, his eyes jumping to every corner in the room before returning to Cass’s, then looking away once more. That’s okay with her; she knows he’s bad at eye contact. “I don’t understand…” he whispers, his voice… scared… scared of love just like Stephanie said.

“That’s okay, I will tell you until you finally do. I will show you from now on.” Cass can feel her own tears starting to slide down her cheeks, ruining the meticulous makeup Bethany had painstakingly put on for the performance. “I’m sorry you don’t understand. I’m sorry I made you not understand that I love you.”

Bruce shuddered, and his body made an aborted jerking motion, as if the words spoken so sincerely rocked him to his very core, and it was instinct to escape such a raw emotion. “I don’t…” Bruce stopped and wet his lips. His fingers flexed in Cass’s hands, trying to dig his fingers into his palm like usual, but Cass stopped him.

“That’s okay.” She repeated, squeezing his hands before throwing herself into his embrace again. Always so warm and encompassing. Bruce should give out hugs more, but then she’d want to keep them all to herself. “I love you.”

Cass pulled away and scooped up her bouquet. “Home?” She asked, squeezing her Dad’s hand.

Bruce nodded silently, his eyes distant as he squeezed her hand back. He was quiet, yet it was obvious his mind was running a million miles an hour. Maybe he had slipped into being nonverbal again just as she often did.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” He screamed, smacking away Bruce’s hand with vitriol and anger on his face.

So, Bruce does as he’s ordered. It’s the only thing he can give Jason.

It’s the only thing he’s really been good at.

He'll just disappear one day, seemingly out of the blue and the first time it happens, it freaks Alfred the fuck out. Man spends weeks, possibly months worrying about him until Bruce comes back with a child.

The first time it happens, Alfred is stressing real hard, but Bruce seems to be happy, so maybe it's okay?

That's when Alfred sees the pattern. Bruce leaves for an extended period of time? Boom! Child. Usually they're already fully formed and out of the womb with questionable parentage.

But suddenly, one day Bruce disappears for a few months. He's on a mission, he'd say. Dick, the eldest of the birds, is already familiar with the pattern so he's stressing alongside Jason and Tim, because god what new ward is he bringing home this time?

But no.

That's not what happens.

Bruce comes home, no child in his hand or arms. None. Instead, there's a child in his womb and Dick sees Alfred faint for the very first time since he's known him.

Yep. That's right. Alfred's fears have come to life. Batmom came home pregnant. I mean sure, at one point he was pregnant with Damian too, but he's never came home pregnant before.

They ask who the father is, but Bruce shrugs and asks if they have any nutella and fried chicken in stock.

"Come on, little guy," Flash coaxed, sticking his arm through a narrow crevice of the rubble towards a toddler who was covered in dust from head to toe. Curled in on himself, his face covered with his two fat little hands, he was sobbing and hiccuping uncontrollably.

"Need an assist?" Wonder Woman asked, as she flew up near Flash, who nodded graciously in response.

"Careful," Flash said, keeping an eye on the kid as she heaved up the rubble before carefully throwing it aside. More dust fell on the toddler as he started to wail louder. Flash quickly snatched him up in his hold, shushing him.

"Hey, little guy. You're safe," Flash said, giving him a disarming grin, but the kid just had his dust covered eyes clamped shut. He was sobbing with drool and snot and dust on his face as he simply tried to tear himself out of Flash's grasp, pushing back his chest with his little arms.

"Oo- okay. You don't like me. It's alright. I'm sure you're just scared," Flash said, his grin turing awkward.

"Hey, young warrior. Where are your parents?" Wonder Woman asked, as she tenderly tried to hold his hand but he just smacked it away. This just made Diana smile amusedly

"Feisty one, aren't we?"

"Is that the last of them?" Batman asked, just as he landed near them with the help of his grappler line, followed by Superman landing near them from above.

"I think so. My x-ray vision doesn't show anymore people beneath the rubble," Superman supplied.

"Well, uh, a little help here?" Flash said, as he awkwardly kept hold on a little wailing gremlin who kept trying to fiercely wriggle out of his grasp.

"Whoa," Superman said, startled, as they all turned to look at the source of the noise.

"Let me see," Batman said, as he gestured with his hand, which poked out through his cape covering his body.

Flash didn't say it but he hesitated, as he gave him a "are you sure look?" At Batman's glare, he quickly held up the wriggling kid and plopped him into Batman's arms.

"I'm gonna go make another sweep; make sure everyone's been led to safety," Flash said evasively, pointing with his thumb before he sped off in the blink of an eye.

The kid sobbed, before screaming as he weakly threw punches on Batman's chest and shoulders with his little fists.

"Hold still," Batman said, in a slightly more hushed tone than his usual growly voice. He drew up a part of his cape and cleaned off the dust and snot from his face and nose. By then, the kid was still whimpering, but his struggles had gotten much weaker. He firmly grasped the wailing kid's chin, before rubbing his gloved thumbs on the kids' eyes. "Can you open them?"

The kid breathed raspily, his chest still heaving from silent sobs, but he complied as he opened his eyes with some difficulty.

"Can you see?" Batman asked. The kid made eye contact with him, his scrunched eyes still responsive. "Good."

He was still sniffling, but now, instead of fiercely trying to break free, he suddenly buried himself deeper into Batman's chest, his face completely covered.

"What a surprise," Diana said, amused, as she put a hand on her hip.

"I'm not sure why he's so calm all of a sudden, but at least he's not scared anymore," Superman said, observing them curiously.

To be honest, this wasn't the first time he had seen Batman expertly handle children and teens, though when it came to especially small children, they usually had to be the one to step in instead because the very young ones would often get frightened by Batman's appearance. This time, however, it seemed like the opposite happened somehow.

"Hn. We need to find his family so we can return him as soon as possible," Batman said, matter of factly, as he looked over his teammates. Unconsciously, he ruffled the toddler's dust covered curly hair.

"Alright. Lead the way," Diana said, before she and Superman flew off the rubble and Batman followed with his grappling line, gingerly holding the child close to him with one arm.

"You all done? I have temporarily patched up most of the damages, I think, " Green Lantern said, just as he landed on the ground near them. He glanced at the toddler, who was tightly hugging Batman, now half covered with the cape. "Another one?"

"Yes. Last one left. Let us split up and look for his family. They must be really worried."

"I mean, yeah. No shit," Hal Jordan snorted.

"Take J'onn with you, Clark," Batman said.

"Got it. I'll see where he is right now," Superman said.

"For what, exactly? Are you gonna make him read everyone's minds?" Hal Jordan asked. Just then, the almost sleepy looking toddler stirred, before he murmured something.

"....ama."

Superman's eyebrows shot up, looking genuinely taken aback

"What? Did he say something?" Hal Jordan asked. Diana raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"... Hm?" Batman looked down at the toddler who wriggled his arms again, his face buried.

".... Ma...ma."

"Wait what?" Hal Jordan exclaimed, thinking he heard wrong

Diana burst out laughing.

Superman chuckled nervously.

Even Batman seemed caught off guard, his mouth somewhat opened before he quickly clamped it shut

"Ain't no way.... ain't no way that kid just called you- " Hal Jordan stopped short, as Batman threw a glare his way, but he couldn't stop the embarrassed chuckles that were escaping him now. "Ain't no way! This is the funniest thing to happen during the entire day! Batman being called mama by some rando kid!"

"Ehem. W-well, I'll go look for J'onn, then," Superman said, still smiling awkwardly before he took off.

"He's probably delirious," Batman deadpanned, as he covered him further with the cape.

"Yeah, sure why not, Spooky," Hal Jordan said, laughing, still holding his belly as he was bent over.

"Most probably, " Diana said, with an amused smile, her arms crossing as she took in the sight of Batman and the toddler wrapped in his cape once again.

"Yeah, I mean," Hal Jordan said, flicking a tear out of his eye as he recovered, "as good as you are with kids, you can't just- "

"Batman got called what??" Flash exclaimed as he came to a stop before them.

Batman couldn't hold back a ragged sigh.

"This random toddler called him mama! Can you believe it?"

"Zip it, Hal Jordan."

"Are you sure it's not one of your own spawns?"

"We're done talking," Batman narrowed his white lenses, but he could only look so much as intimidating when he had a toddler held close to him, warmly wrapped in his cape.

"Maybe you really are some sort of creature of the night that collects children or something- "

Batman glared.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. But it's still funny."

Batman turned to Diana, decidedly ignoring Hal Jordan.

"Although he doesn't seem to have any visible injuries, I'll still have to drop him off with the paramedics, just in case," Batman told her. Consequently, he soon began to make his way to some of the ambulances.

".... Is he embarrassed, perchance?" Flash asked, leaning in to whisper near Hal Jordan's ear

"Oh, definitely," Hal said with a smirk. "I'm never gonna let this go. I know Spooky might eventually kill me for it, but it'll be totally worth it."

"Well, he doesn't kill, remember?" Flash said, with a chuckle.

"Oh yeah, good one."

"Alright, I think that's enough teasing for one day," Diana said, though she still couldn't help one last giggle at the whole situation. "I'll go and check if Superman has found J'onn yet." With that, she took off into the skies.

They watched as Batman talked with the paramedics, speaking and nodding, before they brought out a gurney. Batman uncovered his cape and tried to put the toddler down, but this time, he squirmed and tried to hold on. He started whimpering louder and louder, as he stubbornly held onto Batman's shoulders like a koala.

This only made them chuckle again as they watched the cool calm stoic Batman struggling awkwardly to put down the crying toddler, drawing the attention of the other bystanders around them.

"Never thought I would see such day," Hal Jordan said, laughing again.

Flash shook his head, grinning widely, his jowls hurting. "Me too."

Finally, just as the paramedics held down the toddler and attempted, in turns, to comfort him, Batman quickly took off before he joined them again.

"Aren't you sad you had to leave your kid behind... mama?" Hal Jordan said.

Batman shot him an extremely irked look which immediately sobered up Flash, who dropped his smile. But Hal Jordan boldly kept smirking.

"I'm just joking, Spooky," Hal said, matter of factly.

"Instead of making absurd jokes, you could have sped up the process of finding his parents by joining Superman and the others," Batman growled.

"Geez. They weren't kidding when they said you had zilch sense of humor," Hal Jordan said, flatly, seeing Flash frantically gesturing him to stop, out of the corner of his eye.

Batman glared fiercely at him. "Your idea of humor is rather questionable."

Just then, Flash began to point to the ambulance in the distance. "Look! I think they found his family," Flash exclaimed, internally glad that he managed to find an excuse to interrupt the impending conflict. Hal Jordan and Batman looked in the direction of the ambulance, as the paramedics were joined by Superman and Wonder Woman.

They were followed by Martian Manhunter and two more individuals. First, probably the older sister who quickly rushed to hug her toddler brother in relief as he sat up on the gurney. Then, a taller individual, dressed from head to toe in black. It was a woman, wearing an abaya robe dress and a niqab veil covering her entire face. She immediately rushed to gather her toddler in her arms and, as she lifted up the flap of her niqab just enough to expose her lower half of the face, she gave him fervent kisses on his face and head, rocking as she hugged him in relief, and saying several praises, one after the other.

Hal Jordan's eyes widened, as gears slowly began to turn in his head. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that Flash seemed to be coming to the same conclusion, judging by his now slightly agape mouth.

Of course, Hal started it. "Ahhh, I see now... " he said, theatrically, turning to look at Batman. Judging by the limited expression on Batman, Hal could tell he had figured it out, too.

"Poor kid," Flash chuckled nervously. "I don't blame him. He sought comfort in the first thing that seemed familiar to him."

"Which just happened to be a figure who looked very similar to his mother. Isn't that right, Spooky?" Hal Jordan teased, drawing out every word in the last sentence.

Batman, running on 0.3hrs of sleep and running on only 1% patience: "Jason."

Redhood, loading his gun: Shoots at the ground next to Guy (rubber bullet).

Guy: "Hey! Your brat just shot at me!"