Alexander

a moment of silence for my roommate who has to endure me doing linguistics homework. out loud. making sounds with parts of my mouth and throat I didn’t even realise I could use to make sounds. repeatedly and with passion

i think the moment of silence needs to come directly from you on this one

on a similar note you should try doing at least a few small crimes (even, like, jaywalking) every day to train yourself on resisting unjust authority. how are you going to transgress a big unjust law without any practice?

amphetamines work by smuggling a small tiger inside your body and letting it just go fuckin nuts in there

Winter is a cruel mistress. Spring is a seductive temptress. Summer is a lovely woman but her dick is a bit too large to fit comfortably unless you put in some work. Fall is pretty chill if you have a high THC tolerance.

rb to bonk prev with an empty paper towel roll

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

why do men have this eternal fear of being used for money they don’t have lol

God gave us two lungs so we could handle inhaling twice the smoke from combining tobacco and weed