StOriani

Oh my god don’t talk to me about that scene because it’s PERFECT!!!!!!!! I just wanna say, and this is gonna be a rant y’all just so you know, that the “Have you ever kissed anyone?” scene is my favorite, like my absolute fave of the whole series because:

1. the way Anne just fucking asks that question after leading the conversation to sex with all that pocket holes story is a magistral flirting move.

3. every single line is flirty and hot af!!! even when Anne says “Perhaps you wouldn’t tell me if you had.” implying that Ann could have a reason to not tell her, i.e. she doesn’t want to tell her because there’s something between them and you don’t talk about past lovers with your new potential one!!!!!!!

4. Ann asking super fast “Have you?” glancing at Anne’s lips because, maybe, she’s starting to think that THEY could kiss. The way Anne says “I asked you.” with that little flirty smile akfafkhjlj and Ann that can’t even breathe properly! like her breathing is not steady at all lol poor baby was turned on af

5. “Well, have you never wanted to?”… cut to > Actual proof earlier that episode of Ann Walker wanting to kiss Anne Lister:

The tension the TENSION!!!! She’s fucking drawn to her!!! look how she moves forward without even realizing it!!!!! I can’t with this show I swear…

6. “Have you?” - “Wanted to?” …

oh my goooooooood, the pause she does before answering and how she looks at Ann’s lips for the longest time making sure Ann is watching what she’s doing

7. the way Ann asks “Well, who? When?” with a little panic in her voice, not knowing if she’s more scared of Anne saying the name of a random someone or if she’s more scared of her own desire to hear her own name as the answer to that question!!! LOOK AT HER!!!

her face is like “is she gonna say my name??? oh my god do I even want her to say my name??? what if I’m the one she wants to kiss?? am I hoping she says it’s me? oh please say it’s me”. Ann’s feeling a little scared, kinda turned on, confused but excited (and you can see all of it on her face because Sophie is amazing) And then when Anne actually implies she wants to kiss her, she goes into gay panic mode lol I love Ann Walker so much <3

8. And last but not the least, I love how ANNE’S FUCKING LEANING ON THAT COUCH POSITIONING HERSELF A LITTLE LOWER THAN ANN TO PHYSICALLY BE IN A POSITION OF “DISADVANTAGE” KINDA SUBMITTING HERSELF TO ANN WHEN in reality SHE’S THE ONE LEADING THE CONVERSATION!!! She gives Ann a physical power to make her feel as comfortable as possible because she knows that what she’s implying (i.e. wanting to kiss her) could scare her and so she tries to balance the situation by being as less intimidating as possible with her body language!!!! IT’s FUCKING HOT I CANT- her body language says “I’m here and I’m open to whatever you feel like doing, you choose, you can come to me if you want, I’m here and I won’t push you” while looking at Ann’s lips the whole time, and so making it clear that if Ann wants to kiss her she absolutely can!!!!! and it’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.

Episode 2: “I Just Went There To Study Anatomy”

In The Process Of Making Wealthy Little Miss Walker Her Wife Anne: 10/10. This is a TRULY SUPERB Anne. This is peak dapperness. It’s one of her most polished looques – the ear curls are gleaming, the eyebrow hair is tamed, the cravat is neat, the charm is on, she is so handsome that any woman would consider herself lucky to listen to her anecdotes about dissecting babies. 

The Same Anne But She Has Taken Off Her Coat: 11/10 because Anne removing one of her 8687 layers of clothing is always sexy; extra bonus for the homoerotic tension and the close-ups of eyes and lips in this scene. 

Dear Diary, All Miss Walker Needs To Do Now Is To Realise That What She Feels For Me Is Love Anne: 11/10. This is a fast-walking, self-satisfied, peacock-y Anne who moves so energetically that it is impossible to grab an unblurred screenshot of her. I am extra in love with this Anne because her boasting gets interrupted by a Bothersome Man and we see her morph from charming lesbian Anne into gruff business lesbian Anne. Hot. 

Pondering One Of Many Coal Negotiations Anne: Ohohohhh definitely 14/10. The sleeves. The striped waistcoat. The ever so slightly dishevelled cravat. The intense gaze, the hand at her lips, the mermaid throne, this Anne has everything and can have all my coal and whatever other resources she demands of me. Wink wonk. 

Doctor Anne Looking At Traumatised Farmboy: 8/10. This scene has a child in it and thus we aren’t meant to thirst for Anne quite as much, which I dislike. This Anne gets love from me for her very dark eyes and the fact that she talks about sword-fighting and discloses angsty insights into her psyche; though again, the dead brother and agony over being a lesbian who frequently gets mistaken for a man deflects a little bit from this Anne’s thirst-worthiness. Still a very beautiful and sweet Anne!

A Chaumière Is Not A Shed Anne: 12/10 I LOVE THIS ANNE. One of the most iconic Annes we ever did see! She is sassy and in charge, she bosses her family around, she does whatever she likes to her estate, she is snobby, she fingers her wine glass, she is conceited and snooty and looks EXACTLY like the kind of lady who runs the oldest house in Halifax, which dates back to Henry the Fifth and Agincourt and is not, and never has been, a farm, Marian.

Tempting Miss Walker To Go To Switzerland Anne: 11/10 A beautiful and hilarious Anne! An Anne who gets so jealous that she breaks a knife with her bare lesbian hands. An Anne who has her jealous lesbian wounds patched up by Miss Walker and her lily-white handkerchief, which is inherently sexy as fuck. Her cravat is silver, her collar is adequately ruffle-y, she is falling in love without quite realising it. A gorgeous, intense Anne. Would definitely go to Switzerland with her any day. 

Wondering If Miss Walker Has Ever Kissed Anyone Anne: 15/10 because this scene has lip-stroking. And staring at lips. And longing. And ridiculous talk about sexual practices. This Anne is so focused in her courting of little Miss Walker and tbh who wouldn’t have a gay awakening under these circumstances??

Just Went To Paris To Study Anatomy Anne: 100000/10. I mean. I. I mean, I just, I mean, I, this, I just mean that this is. Yes. I. Hm.  Apart from the obvious ……….. the muscular arm. The loose hair that falls across her very naked back. The fact that she still has her drawers on because she is an untouchable stone butch. The glint of sunlight. Everything about this Anne and this scene is perfection. 

Smirky Tophat Anne Who’s Having A Public Monologue On Her Own Greatness: 10/10 I LOVE to see a confident, happy Anne who wears a tophat and is fully aware of her own sexiness. Yes. Love love love. I want to wife this Anne. 

Eating Pieces Of Fruit In A Homosexual Manner Whilst Eyeing Up Mrs Priestley Anne: 12/10 I think we can all agree that the unnecessary way in which Anne spreads open slices of figs with her fingers and then buries her face in them for some delighted slurping is entirely hot and entirely stupid. And then she licks her thumb. And sucks on it. I appreciate this Anne but also kind of hate her. 

About To Smash Her Room Because Vere Invited Her To Her Wedding Anne: 9/10. This Anne gets a lower rating just because my heart hurts when I watch this scene. Kudos to this angry, vulnerable, emotional Anne for realising she’s now Too Old to smash up her entire room because a lady is giving her trouble, though. 

Confronting A Shitty Man At His Shitty Bank Anne: 10/10 This is a very Anne-y Anne. The hard stare, the tightly set jaw, the raised chin, the squared shoulders; this Anne embodies everything sexy about confronting shitty men in public and I just, oof. Also, look at her beautiful floral collar. 

Laughing At A Shitty Man Anne: 16/10 This Anne has just returned back inside from doing manual labour in the garden (a scene I currently have no access to, fuck you HBO), and thus her cravat is undone, wisps of hair are flying everywhere, there are speckles of dirt in her face, she’s woman-spreading in her chair, you can see a sliver of her chest, and she’s wearing the biggest, most-shit eating Grin Of Self-Satisfaction in the world, and I love her, she is clearly the superior person in the room and also in the world. I want to sit on this Anne’s lap. Right now. 

Saying Farewell To Ann Walker Whilst Admiring Her Watercolours Anne: 11/10 Ooohhh such a soft and lovely and sweet and romantic Anne. This is the first time she seeks emotional support from Ann, and you can see her melting ever so fondly as she falls further and further in love with her future wife. The gondola pin, the yearning, the closeness, the almost-kiss, it’s just too much. This Anne is so tender, but then she turns the room into a mosh pit as soon as A Possible Rival enters the scene. Shouldering Catherine out of the way? Sexy. Very. 

Laughing At Yet Another Man Anne: 12/10 Listen I don’t know how many alpha Annes in a row I can stand, but this one is just hot, snarky, sarcastic, and so very prim and proper in her chair. Also, the sleeves. Goddess bless this Anne. 

Wearing A Giant Hat That Makes Every Church-Goer Behind Her Erupt Into Spontaneous Hatred Anne: 20/10 This Anne is, despite her enormous monstrosity of a hat, just a wee tearful baby and I want to wrap her into the softest hug!! She is hot because this outfit is so positively ludicrous and only Suranne Jones could carry it off with so much confidence. But also, ouch, this scene hits me so hard because not only does Anne have to watch Vere get married to a man, she also ponders the fact that this sort of marriage will forever be denied to her, and it’s just … not fair. 

We’re Not Alive Unless We Tell Our Ex Girlfriend That Her Husband Sucks, Are We? Anne: 11/10 This is a very beautiful Anne. There is just a tiny bit of spite towards Vere’s husband (hot), but she prioritises kindness over her own heartbreak, and also you can see her little facial hairs glimmering in the slanting sunlight and she is an absolute lesbian angel. Also, I feel like this hat in close-up shots is the nearest we will ever get to a historical snapback-wearing Anne. 

Off To Pester Miss Walker At The Lake District Anne: 50/10 THIS ANNE. This Anne is EVERYTHING! Look at her perfect stupid collar. Look at the puffy sleeves! Her watch is dangling around her neck! Her hair is adorable and braided very cutely! Her eyes are making love to the camera! Her smile waters my crops and also various other things of mine! She is happy to run after her wife, she focuses on the future instead of dwelling on the past, and she is absolutely breath-taking. Thank you Suranne Jones, you are a gift to lesbians everywhere in this universe.

Ann Walker: *exists* Me: