funemployed

‘As with La Culte du Prochain Train, the Cult Of The Endless Kiss of the iron mining regions surrounding the Gulf Of St. Lawrence, coalesced around a periodic, tournament style competition, this one comprised of 64 adolescent Canadian participants, of whom one half were female. Thus, the first round pitted 32 couples, each of which consisted of one male and one female Quebecker.’ [ … ] 'Of each pair, one half, designated by lot, filled his or her lungs to capacity with inhaled air, while the other exhaled maximally to empty his or hers. Their mouths were fitted together and quickly sealed by an organizing cultist with occlusive tape, who then expertly employed the thumb and forefinger of both hands to seal the combatants’ nostrils. Thus, the battle of The Endless Kiss had been joined. The entire lung contents of the designatedly inhaled player was then exhaled orally into the emptied lungs of his or her opponent, who in turn exhaled the inhalation back to it’s original owner, and so forth, back and forth, the same air being traded back and forth, with oxygen and carbon dioxide ratios becoming progressively more Spartan, until the organizer holding their nostrils closed officially declared one combatant or the other to be “evanoui” or, “swooned,” either fallen to the ground or out on his or her feet. [ … ] The figurative object of the “Baisser” competition appears - according to Phelps and Phelps - to involve using what one is given with maximally exhaustive levels of efficiency and endurance before excreting it back whence it came [ … ]’

- Infinte Jest / David Foster Wallace