𝔰𝔩𝔦𝔪𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯

dreamed the sky was full of gar and alligators. they sang to me in a nonsense language. sun filmed green with algea. i sat on top of the old courthouse, a silver dome, smoking. a white trash deity. woke with my fingers to my lips.

curdled longing slips blackened fingers into my pauses my empty pockets pries at the closet door laughs with cloistered corpses dogs my oldest bones

celestial body always above me fallen affections vestigial love i'm fucking up i'm fucking up forever trailing stricken and dumb forever chasing vaporous touch grazing the tether failure in the clutch

your hands bladed with agony your sawtoothed need scrape me clean sinless skinless soul to keep after the ruin after the bleeding i am new a shining ruby

each morning a miscarriage a larval iteration of flesh brainless and writhing eyeless with hunger dancing to the locust hum lodged in the throat of this flourishing starvation a year long scream a desert night-weeping for the sun every dawn a shard of glass

"I would like to address the matter at hand, but I don't know what it is."

i feel your smile like the sun in warm pulses through thunderheads. your voice echoes through the aphotic amnion that clutches me like a bitten hand. you don't know where i am, but you hold me there and talk about baseball and your granny's eyes. i am encased in a swarm of fireants, purulent and writhing. you are singing. i cling to the vibration like an infant. i am born again into the green and buzzing haze of late spring, boots scuffing the sidewalk a blur of sparrows and pollinators. i am drowned in light in the palm of your hand. it's too much for my sunblind eyes. my heart is venom swollen. i find i am afraid the crush of my rot softened mouth will poison you, but it doesn't. you are strong and oblivious. you don't know where I've been but you carry me away like the river that runs out of my eyes, clear and shining as noon.

amber shadows breathe in fireshot valleys of forgetfulness storm wet, thundering exhalations of smoke and ash, dragons' sighs blood marbled sclera and waxing pupil of starslimed eyes, closed against the lunar white of your cheek eclipsing the bankruptcy of being in the totality of here, of now my incisors, diamonds strung along the moonscape of your throat enumerating ruinous wishes