15 a day

What have you done to me? You occupy every single space in my mind, every second I am awake I am thinking of you. You make me feel so indescribably happy but being without you hurts me so much more. You're the best thing that has happened to me. You are the only one who truly cares about me, what I want and what I need. You're all I have going for me right now. I want to feel you so bad. All I have left is the bruises on my back from fucking in my car. My body is still sensitive from your touch. I need to feel you again, on me, in me, around me. I miss you an incredible amount. You're what I need the most. I'm at my best when I'm with you. My heart hurts is aching.

I’ll be back when I’m crying in the near future.

I’m very glad you finally confirmed that you have reciprocated feelings for me, although you’ve been showing it to me through your actions. It was just really nice to finally hear it. You make me so happy

...I’m dreading the end of this school year. A lot can happen in a month (look at us), let alone two...

I really am happy though, and am not looking forward to this school year ending.

....piece of shit afternoon!! I'm fucked for the entire second half next year I don't know what to do and I want to cry about it.

Am I using him? Is he just my booty call? I do actually like him and I like sleeping with him. But I also like how he likes me and pays for things for me. But I think I do actually enjoy his company a lot. I hope he doesn't feel used. I really like him... I think. I just know in the past I have a habit of really getting into something new, overdoing it, then am over it very fast. I'm trying to pace myself with him. I don't want this to be over fast because of my addictive personality. That counts as something, right?

Happy birthday, Robert Downey Jr. love of my life <3

Last night was a loooong night and we went at it for a While holy shit. I was so loud and I was very drunk it didn't feel like me and it was so dirty and I get what they meant about the lube thing

Home doesn't feel like home anymore. My home away from home feels more like me. I get too unhappy at home and I am feeling less and less a part of it. I don't know if I want to be a part of it. It is too cold and feels like depression there. In other news, what the fuck do I want? I want a guy to like me and I finally get one but I always am able to find some reason not to!! Not this time binch!!! I'm just going with his glow and seeing what happens.

Um I hope I don’t ruin this good thing by overanalyzing!! binch get it together

Follow up to my last post: I had the best first date ever and this guy spent 7 and a half hours with me!!! That's so much at once holy shit like our single date could've been 3 individual dates. But it was fun and I guess I was being stupid wondering if he likes me bc he made it super obvious but do I like him back or do I like him bc he likes me? I think I'm veering towards the latter yikes. By the end of the night we were holding hands and had our arms around each other and it was very couple-y. I can see why people do this now. It's nice to just feel wanted I guess (and yes I am that pathetic). He showered me with compliments and I did too because I love me. He smelled so good. It ended with a very rushed kiss because I didn't want to miss my train. Then I got home and was locked out. I was too stupid to bring a house key because usually my family has the decency to leave a door open and my sister didn't answer her phone smh. I didn't wanna call my parents bc I wasn't down for a midnight lecture about where I've been so I opted for sleeping in the car. What a terrible idea! It was the most uncomfortable experience of my life. The surface of the back seats are super uneven and it was freezing and now I'm pretty sure I got sick because of it. I have explaining to do in the morning.

Hate to be *that* girl who only posts about guys but I'm rly looking forward to hanging out with this particular one!! Also I guess I post a lot about my guy trouble here because it's my only outlet and I can't really share my experiences with my friends because I hate feeling vulnerable and sharing that soft side with them lol

I am having the weirdest fucking problem with my body right now and it's causing me so much pain and irritation to the point where I can't sleep and all I can really do is cry This fucking hurts and it fucking sucks

But it's left. Something about feeling good. And being happy