Victorian Needle Case, by W Avery & Sons
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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YOU ARE THE REASON

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@stillfine2009
Victorian Needle Case, by W Avery & Sons

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Assorted veg. Sow Salzer's seeds. 1931.
Internet Archive
I have GOT to stop spending $30
1. My new DIY “Brick” for my phone, magnetic, so it can affix itself to my metal bedside table
2. Tomatoes I harvested from my garden and ate this morning before work

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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a vision for my future is becoming clearer, although it is a strange and unusual path.
For the past year-ish (but on a larger scale, perhaps for the last decade) I have been bumping up against the wall of "traditional life." Trying to fit myself into this box of marriage, family, cohabitation, career, ambition, expectations. Comparing myself to other people, measuring myself against arbitrary milestones, struggling with this push and pull between what i want and what i expect.
I tried dating men, and I hated it. I cohabitated for many years and got engaged to a woman, then I left her. Then, in the aftermath of my life exploding, I fell in love with a complicated and unusual woman and started a very happy and satisfying long distance relationship. Due to very practical circumstances, our relationship must be long distance for the foreseeable future. Yet people constantly ask us "will you get married? when will you move to the same place?" and so I find myself asking the same question, without considering if I really want that. I feel like it must be the natural next step because that is "normal," that is what is expected, that is obvious to other people and so I think it should be obvious to me.
Recently I have been pushing myself to imagine what my life would look like if I was freed from all expectation. what would I do with my time? who would I be? what choices would I make? sitting with these questions has allowed me to imagine a vision of the future that would have never occurred to me otherwise. and I feel like I have saved myself from falling off a precipice into an abyss.
I almost got swept up in the current of expectations. I almost got married to someone I didn't want to marry. I almost became miserable and caged in like all of the women in my family before me. But now I have a chance to do things differently. I am thinking of the Jenny Slate quote where she says "the image of myself becomes sharper in my brain, and more precious." I feel like there is an image of myself and my future clarifying itself. Every day it becomes clearer, and every day I get closer.
Jette Stoltz
Hanna Kim - I Saw the Forehead of the Night, 2024- Oil on canvas
Henri Matisse Apollo 1953

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Results from friend craft night!
we made these DIY “Bricks” for our phones using NFC tags. the NFC tags were really cheap on amazon, setup was shockingly easy (we used the free app Foqos) and the craft itself was very fun (wood shapes, stickers, acrylic paint, magnets glued to the back, and a layer of UV resin on top to give them an extra shiny finish)
now my social medias are locked down and i can ONLY unlock them by getting my NFC tag and clicking it to my phone.
hopefully this extra friction added to my life fixes my internet brain and resolves my screen time crisis. i will report back.
this tweet is stuck in my head lately because it is unfortunately so true…. if i skip yoga for a few days i start feeling like a caged animal. i’m so much happier when im moving my body and becoming stronger. the happy bitches were right.
have you read my brilliant friend quartet yet? if not, i am not kidding, you HAVE to, Elena Ferrante is the best living author
YES!! and i 100% agree, I think Ferrante is my favorite living author and maybe favorite author of all time. Those books changed my life and i’m not even exaggerating.
Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents house

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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since i got home from my trip i have been fucking off at work to an extent that is hardly imaginable. my boss quit in march and they haven’t replaced her, so there’s no one in charge of me except maybe the department chair... but he’s retiring in August and totally checked out and basically never physically in his office. this week i came extremely late and left extremely early every day. also, my job is to advise and support students, but there basically aren't any students right now because the main summer term hasn't started. so even when i'm in the office i'm not doing anything. I basically am just listening to podcasts and knitting and killing time. i feel like i need to be productive again and start coming in on time.... but i'm in a restful recovery period right now
the most 30 year old thing about me right now is how much i’m obsessed with smoothies. current favorite combo is: blueberries, mint, banana, greek yogurt, almond milk, honey, kale, and then i add flax seed, chia seed, hemp seed, and creatine. not only is it delicious but it’s so good for me. i’m like wow… since i started having these smoothies: skin is glowing, hair is shiny, energy is up, vibes are up. smoothies fixed me.