Kris Smith

My name is Kris

I am 19 years old

I am currently attending Bible college in an incredibly beautiful little part of creation

This blog is mostly a place for me to talk about my walk and ramble about how amazing God is even when life isn’t.

I will probably tell lots of stories about my friends and mentors, and talk about the things I’m learning, and share little things that cross my mind about God that feel profound but are probably old news to a lot of people.

I will be doing my best to not share anything specific enough to identify myself, my friends, or the place that we live.

I love God, I’m still figuring out who I am in Him, I am constantly astounded by the wisdom and strength of the people around me, and of course, I am still being sanctified!

If I say anything that seems really wacky or incorrect, feel free to ask for clarification, chances are I’m probably sleep deprived and didn’t know what I was saying.

“Please no, Lord,” I say, and maybe even recoil or try to push it away, “please, I don’t deserve to be cleaned.”

But Jesus is not afraid to kneel down in the dirt when we find ourselves there. Rather than sit back and leave me when I ask, He gently calms me and washes me. In this image in my head we are both crying.

Jesus does not get tired of being our Savior. He knew of every time we would reject Him or screw it up and still chose to die for us. He does not call us to repentance with threat of punishment, but rather He stands with open arms and tells us to come home.

I’ve been given the opportunity to do another year of school

My anxiety levels are so low compared to last year

I am learning to trust again

Today:

We are not created to be transactional beings.

As a believer, you will never be closer to God than you are right now. You will never be further from God than you are right now. God dwells within you. You are the temple, you are the tabernacle.

If someone from the Old Testament met you they wouldn’t even be able to comprehend it. For them, direct communion with God was something reserved for one man, the high priest, once a year in the holy of holies. We have direct constant communion with God just walking around in our daily lives.

There is a huge difference between conviction and shame in the life of a believer

The voice of conviction might sound like “I shouldn’t say that. I need to stop this habit. This thing is bad for me. Doing this is not glorifying God.”

The voice of shame might sounds like “I’m an awful Christian. I can’t believe I’m doing this again, I should be stronger than this. I bet God’s tired of me.”

Conviction is healthy, shame is not. Where conviction guides us closer to God and His will, shame pushes us further away, and often leads to us becoming more engrossed in our sin than ever before. Conviction is the voice of the Holy Spirit in us. Shame is the voice of the enemy attacking us.

Often when we are convicted, shame tries to sneak into our thoughts and hearts. It is the enemy’s tool to keep us from turning to God in repentance and moving forward in His grace. Satan knows that those moments bring us into closer relationship with God, which is the last thing he wants. We as Christians have to consciously choose not to believe the lies of shame.

Expect grace.

We were sitting across from each other in a coffee shop having our first ever real conversation and I asked her what her favorite thing about the year before was. She didn’t say the community at school, or the classes she got to take, or even meeting the man she’s planning to marry. Instead, she told me about the darkest part of her last year in high school.

TW: eating disorder, infertility

1) a woman declining a hot cup of coffee on a cold day because there wasn’t a restroom in walking distance

2) the joy on a man’s face when he told us he was homeless until two days prior but he had housing now

3) the realization that the people we were partnering with had been doing this for years before we came and would be continuing to do so after we left

4) seeing an older man in a recovery program light up at the opportunity to swap stories for a couple hours with a college kid about a hobby that they had in common

5) the way the crowd outside thanked us when we left after serving dinner

6) seeing the passionate faith in God of these people who have been through more in a couple months than I have in my entire lifetime