Steroidal Masculinity

Beach meat.

How far can I go?

I’m pleased to report my productive growth streak continues: I recently hit 225 lbs / 102.1 kg.

If we’ve chatted at any point over the last few years, you will know I frequently quote 240 lbs as my ultimate goal. To me, achieving this goal would truly mark me out as ‘big’. However, as my weight inches closer to that figure, I realise I want quite a lot more.

Looking/feeling small has always been the main factor in my desire for growth. Logic would then dictate, as I grew bigger, my desire for additional growth would lessen, eventually stopping altogether when I no longer felt small. But the thing is… I don’t feel small anymore: my size is now apparent even when fully clothed or without a pump.

Something new has taken over as my key driver of growth, something I can only describe as ambition. Instead of merely aiming for ‘big’, why shouldn’t I aim for ‘monster’? Why couldn’t I be the biggest fucker in the gym?

Bald by choice.

Would you like to brave the shave but still feel oddly attached to your hair?

Have you already accepted you need to be a skinhead but are scared to make it happen?

Fear not. I have been in your shoes, I have faced the same fears and am here to tell you: it doesn’t need to happen all at once.

Through scissor cuts, fades and buzz cuts, I spent years systematically shortening my haircuts until I finally reached the holy grail of hyper-masculinity: a wet shaved skinhead.

Nothing feels better or looks more brutally masculine than lathering your scalp in shaving foam and gliding a blade across your skull. After towelling dry, that first glimpse of your skinned head in the mirror will have you hooked for life.

‘Obese’ with muscle.

An illustration of my progress over the last 5 months: from 199 lbs in July to 211 lbs in December. Already in 2024, my weight has risen further, nudging past 215 Ibs yesterday. In doing so, I have achieved one of my symbolic goals.

Calculations of body mass index (BMI) are notoriously flawed for muscular men. Nevertheless, l've always loved the idea of becoming SO muscular my BMI indicates I am clinically obese. With my BMI now above 30, I am officially obese (on paper, at least).

Why was this admittedly odd goal ever a goal in the first place? In my head, I guess it serves as concrete proof my body is moving further and further outside the physical, clinical and social norms expected of the typical male.

But of course, if you've been following me for any length of time, you'll know I have aspirations to be much bigger than what you see above. My next goal is 245 lbs, a goal l am trying my absolute hardest to reach by the end of 2024.

If you're enjoying my progress and would like to push me harder, further and faster, let's make the next 30 Ibs a reality. I've linked my WishTender below which includes the ability to fund some of my extra special supplements

Or, if you'd rather use PayPal, drop me a DM and let's make sure I never stop growing.

Ultra-sexualised.

Some men lift to get strong or become better at a particular sport. Others lift to stay healthy or because they want to challenge themselves. I am not these men.

I lift for only one reason: to make men nut.

While muscle plays a crucial role, it would be foolish to rely on my increasing size as the sole means of achieving this aim. That is why every effort must be made to sexualise the body as well.

I wore these shiny, red posers underneath my gym gear to make sure I was prepared for every eventuality. Never waste an opportunity to let the lads at the gym know you’re a whore.

Nourished.

For the past 12 weeks, I’ve made a concerted effort to nail my calorie goals every single day. Much to my surprise, I’m pleased to report that I’ve actually succeeded.

I’ve tried every trick in the book to eat more calories: blending my meals into shakes, switching to more calorie dense foods, even dabbling with appetite stimulants. But these fixes usually come unstuck within a week and I revert back into bad habits.

So, what’s changed?

Why have I been able to eat 4,800 kcals every single day for the last 12 weeks? Quite simply, I focussed my attention on the psychological causes of my failure, not the physical causes.

I didn’t fail to meet my calories goals because my stomach is too small or because I don’t have enough time to meal prep, I failed to meet my calorie goals because I was comfortable with failing. This wasn’t intentional; I wanted to ‘cut myself some slack’ and remain realistic rather than idealistic about what was possible.

But make no mistake, I still curated an environment where eating food was a negotiable part of my day.

It isn’t.

Viewed through the lens of a ‘normal’ person, my 4,800 calorie target is absurd. It is excessive, foie gras-style, force-feeding. But ‘normal’ is precisely what I am fighting against. I don’t want to be normal.

Viewed through the lens of the person I do want to be (i.e. a bodybuilder), my 4,800 goal represents only one thing: nourishment. Failing to meet my calorie goal is not an inevitability or a triumph of common sense over the extreme. Failure means only one thing: malnourishment.

Nowhere near done.

The picture on the left was taken back in 2016 when I was still natty and training in my parent’s garage. The picture on the right was taken a few weeks ago and shows the 30 lbs / 13 kg of muscle I’ve gained since then.

Although I wish the progress had been faster, I’m quietly contented with my progress. However, be under no illusions: I have much further still to go.

If you’ve been following my blog for any length of time, you’ll know I am unapologetic about my love of muscularity. I appreciate muscle right across the size spectrum, from a lithe swimmer’s build to a thick, stocky bear. But there is just something unparalleled about obscene, ‘bodybuilder’ muscle.

Only when taken beyond the realm of what seems humanly possible can the full beauty of the male form truly be appreciated.

I am not obscene.

Dump truck.

‘Size’ is the single most important aspect in my pursuit of hyper-masculinity. Every part of my body needs to be significantly bigger than it is right now.

But the sexualisation of a physique is not the same as the masculinisation of a physique. To sexualise, I deliberately need to over-develop two key muscle groups: my pecs and my glutes.

That’s why I’ve added a dedicated ‘glute day’ into my workout routine. This doesn’t replace any of the indirect stimulation my glutes receive during normal quad/ham training. Rather, it bolsters this training to ensure my glutes develop at an accelerated rate.

Carbs.

I’ve been plying my body with as much food as I can stomach every single day for the last 7 weeks. It ain’t exciting, it ain’t glamorous, but fuck me, it works.

I’ve recently discovered just how well my body responds to carbs. I try to avoid demonising certain foods or food groups (I often cook with butter, I prefer flavourful cuts of meat to leaner ones), but sometimes the urge to always view a portion of stodgy, coma-inducing carbs as ‘bad’ can be hard to shake.

I’d argue a more nuanced approach would be to accept there is a time and a place for everything. For my body, a carb influx works wonders before a workout. Case in point: the pump you see above was fuelled by a giant red velvet cupcake about 30 mins before hitting the gym.

With my daily carb consumption now in the region of 600 grams, I can honestly say I’ve never felt better pumps in my life. I actually feel my excitement building throughout the workout, thinking about going back to the locker room to strip off and check out what new veins and/or bulges have suddenly appeared.

Getting bigger.

I’ve started seeing my physique fill out once again, particularly around the shoulder/chest region where all those androgen receptors are concentrated.

I’ve gained back 8 lbs according to my latest weigh in and, crucially, edged closer to the symbolic 200 lb threshold. Still a long way to go though - the ultimate goal remains a lean 240 lbs.

If you’d like to help nourish my growing muscles with some extra special vitamins, check out the link below:

The slow climb back

Last month was a complete wash out for me in terms of progress. I caught a nasty bug and my body spent 2 weeks in starvation mode. Food intake barely hit 750 kcals per day and my weight dropped to 189 lbs - a weight I haven’t been since the depths of lockdown.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I then caught covid about a week later! Thankfully it was mild, but it still interrupted training and diet when I could least afford it.

I’m now pleased to report I have fully recovered. I’m hitting calorie goals every single day and my former strength is returning in the gym. My weight has rebounded by 6 lbs so far, although that’s still down on my pre-sickness weight.

It’s been a real pain in the ass and something that can mess with your head if you dwell on it too long. Luckily my size obsession didn’t take long to kick back into gear once I was feeling better.

How big are you intending to silicone your dick?

That would be great, dude. I’m always up for chatting about muscle and ways we can push my growth forward.

My weight is currently 204 lbs which means I’ve gained 64 lbs of muscle since I started lifting. But I want to be significantly bigger. My interim goal is to reach 225 lbs. Then I can set my sights on 240 lbs as the ultimate goal.

As for my silicone goals, it’s harder to put an exact figure on the size/amount I want. From speaking with guys who are already siliconed, I’ve realised the final size/shape can vary quite a lot depending on a number of factors.

Thickness without limit

Caught a glimpse of myself in the kitchen window as I was cooking dinner recently. Have to admit, I was impressed by the sheer thickness I saw staring back at me.

Not entirely sure what caused such a sudden increase in visual thickness, but my money is on the massive carb influx I’d inadvertently enjoyed at the weekend - I demolished an entire tin of all-butter shortbread.

Thanks man. Took me a while to get used to it after constantly shaving it for years, but I’ve definitely grown to like it.

Chest day

Head freshly shaved, beard looking sharp, titties feeling pumped, now let’s go fuck some dudes in the locker room.

Hyper-sexed.

Nowadays, I don’t think a minute goes by where my brain isn’t consumed by sex. As my body grows larger and my mind is reprogrammed, the desire to view dudes as sex objects, as conquests, only gets stronger.

Doesn’t matter if you’re out shopping for groceries, minding your own business walking down the street or taking a breather after an epic set in the gym. I see you. And my dick wants to be deep inside you.

Growing again.

Food intake has always been my biggest challenge when it comes to muscle growth. My natural appetite is quickly satiated meaning any extra calorie requirements rely on constant, conscious effort.

Not a big deal, we gotta do what we gotta do to grow. But what it does mean is, when I get sick (like I did recently on holiday), the drive to continue eating to excess vanishes and weight falls off me: from around 208 lbs to 200.3 lbs in this case.

I’m back to full strength now and shovelling food down my gullet. Already, my weight has rebounded to 202.7 lbs. The plan is to regain as much as I can over the next few weeks, then enter 2023 primed to pack on some fresh, new, never seen before muscle.