Art | Science | Life's Lessons

According to a 2013 study published in The Atlantic, the average age to marry in the US is 27 for women and 29 for men. The correlated article noted that college-educated women marrying later are likely to have a higher annual income than those that marry earlier. In 2013, studies like this one stuck to me as fact being a new graduate with big plans for herself – moving to a big city, delving into a marketing career, and making enough money to live independently while still enjoying life’s little luxuries.

Looking back, I would love to see the look on 22-year-old’s face if I told her that she would meet the man of her dreams at a brewery, reject a dream job with a big LA marketing firm, be married within a couple years, still in San Diego with an engineering based job, and haphazardly fired from that job another three years after that… and still be happier than she could ever be because it was exactly where God had placed her.

Now, coming up on the one-year anniversary of being married to an amazing man who has grown alongside me in our walk with the Lord, I’ve learned to be grateful for what I have but to also do everything I do with purpose, and in the name of Jesus.

Colossians 3:17 reads “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Admittedly, three and a half years ago, I translated this as so: “I will be the career woman I’ve always imagined myself being. In the name of the Lord.”

It wasn’t until recently I realized doing “whatever [I] do, whether in word or deed,” didn’t necessarily mean doing whatever it was I had planned for myself in the name of Jesus. Being as stubborn as a mule, it took God’s will of pulling me away from a busy work life to what seemed like a dead halt. Putting so much of my personal value into my work and title, this loss felt devastating. Immediately I began searching for positions, reaching out to contacts and, one after another, I was turned down – even from positions that I had in the bag. It was the strangest thing, with every rejection I felt my confidence being scraped away because my personal value was tied so much in my work when it shouldn’t have been.

So, I started busying myself with little hobbies throughout the week and between job searches. Sometimes I thought they were a little useless when it came to getting me a job and, in all reality, they were. But I needed something to pass the time and rest my eyes from a pixelated computer screen. I studied new recipes – I learned how to fluff an egg, made a meringue, perfected cookies – studied some helpful home economic lessons, created a spreadsheet to manage our household budgets, started catching up with old friends and family, and picked up painting again. I felt like I was becoming a person that I didn’t know; no work-related traveling, no meetings, no negotiations or team projects. I felt like I was becoming a house wife – and I was – but it wasn’t until a couple weeks in that I realized that wasn’t a bad thing at all. I knew I had to start things myself and if anything, this time off allowed me to build discipline and personal growth to find out what I was good at… What mattered to me. Knowing how to care for of our tiny apartment to make it a home wasn’t something I was used to doing, but it was such a refreshing, rewarding objective that I enjoyed doing. Looking at a clean apartment with a happy husband at the end of the day gave me something to be proud of.

A few weeks later, my recipes had improved, I started a small art collection that became part of a small art business, and started working alongside my husband as a marketing director for his family company.

At first, the idea of working with Brandon worried me because working side by side with your husband isn’t for everyone, and I’ve been one for categorizing my life – my husband is my husband at home, my co-worker is my co-worker at work. It’s been about two and a half months now, and I can’t complain! In working together, we’ve both learned to lean on each other so well in providing the support and pushing each other in day-to-day activities.

With an understanding of this new intuition – listening to the Lord and doing things that are life giving in His name – the two of us are entering a new chapter of our life with a new perspective.

The investment part, by the way, is thanks to the husband’s brilliant knowledge of investing and interest in stock market trends.

The reason we do this is because both of our sets of parents have either been great savers or intelligent investors, which taught us to put aside money for rainy days (or unplanned career changes), and create financial growth that would spur from elsewhere other than our jobs.

Additionally, we made it a point to adapt our lifestyles to live under ONE income rather than two, allowing us to save money with the second income.

The reason I talk about this is because, based on the wide assumption that us Millennials are lazy, lack dedication, whine, and don’t have a long-term view of things, I thought we were a rarity among our generation. And this is true for a lot of people under 35, unfortunately.

According to a 2014 WSJ article, Millennials are at a -2% deficit, plunging deeper into financial debt.  Now, compare that with a positive savings rate of about 3% for those age 35 to 44, 6% for those 45 to 54, and 13% for those 55 and older. To their credit, Millennials also racked up one of the highest educational bills we’ve seen in history, leaving them in debt with no room for investing.

This could very well be the result of many Millennials choosing highly expensive schools... and graduating in poorly paying areas of studies.

http://www.wsj.com/articles/savings-turn-negative-for-younger-generation-1415572405

To my fellow Tumblr’s, a tip on how to position yourself for a saving future:

Get rid of as much of your debt as soon as possible (excluding home mortgage). Eat at home, live at home, don’t go to overpriced educational institutions and choose a poorly paying major. Instead, choose a major that you feel you’re good at, and pick a passion to follow on the side. If you want to learn more about gender studies, the internet is actually a much less bias place to do that.

Having ample time on my hands, I’ve taken to dividing my time between a few key objectives: 

1) Learn something new, in depth, and as thoroughly as possible to make your own judgments. 

2) Exercise a tenacious habit of getting into a routine of running, climbing, keeping things clean, applying for job positions, volunteering at church to feed the hungry, and making time for important people in my life.

3) Grow spiritually, keep my body clean, healthy, and strong. 

I’m going to focus on the third item on the list because it’s been not only a point of enthusiasm, but something that I struggle with when it comes to building the necessary discipline. So, I’m taking this time to learn (item #1) about proper nutrition, the ways people around the world are conscious of what they put in their bodies, and how eating more veggie based, organic foods help energize you and can re-build a healthy immune and digestive system. This came from the likes of watching documentaries like “Fed Up” and “Forks Over Knives” - both on Netflix.

I’ll share a few more points later, but I want to focus on meal sizing and proportions (for the sake to this cleverly conjured title that my lovely husband came up with). 

“Breakfast like a king”

That said, one of the most basic rules that has since disappeared as society got busier and less conscious about the food they consume, is that breakfast should be your largest meal - break fast as a king may break fast. Still keeping in mind the content of what you’re consuming, breakfast should be your largest meal of the day because it will hold off your hunger longer, and your body will have more time to burn off the calories throughout your day. 

Choose a healthy breakfast of natural foods; not sugary cereals, or excess meats. This means more fruits, veggies, eggs without excess salt or pepper, nuts, berries, a small amount of toast, and on occasion, small portions of meats. 

To give you an example, I’ve since cycled our breakfast meals throughout the week to include the following:

- Strawberry, blueberry, and banana smoothie with spinach added, a side of toast and an apple or orange

- Veggie omelet (3 eggs) with chopped green or red bell peppers, tea spoon of shredded cheddar cheese, spinach, and a side of sliced tomatoes, and a piece of fruit (sliced banana or apple)

- Toast with peanut butter or small amounts of butter, with chopped strawberries, blueberries, and a side of almonds

- Banana pancakes with scrambled eggs and sliced fruit (easy on the syrup)

Following this, if you’re still hungry, take some fruit or a bag of nuts to snack on at work, or on the go. 

“Lunch like a prince”

While lunch time for some of us may consist of going out with the gang and consuming a giant meal, it’s important to keep this one on the more modest side. 

Like with all of your meals, this one should consist of something healthy and unprocessed. Choose something simple and refreshing to give you the energy you need throughout the day, that is also filling. 

From what I’ve seen at my last company, a lot of people who are going on a diet believe that the only route to that is eating a salad of iceberg lettuce, ranch dressing and grilled chicken. Aside from the fact that ranch dressing in itself has added sugars that turn into fat, iceberg lettuce has no nutritional value. Basically, you’re consuming sugar, carbs (from croutons) and chicken.

Some healthier options to try:

- Kale or spinach salad with a slices of fruit, nuts, and small portions of meat

- Vegetable sandwiches with eggplant, olive oil or balsamic dressing with a small side of fruit or a small snack (organic potato chips?)

- Small bowl of ramen with veggies

- Peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a size of fruit and nuts

- Grilled fish with brown rice, including chopped red bell peppers

Of course, the variety can be endless, but try to imagine that your lunch meal is about the size of what ever clustered amount of food you can hold in one handful.

“Dinner like a popper”

Last but not least, dinner will be your most meager meal because your body will have less time to burn off the calories. As always, keep it clean and healthy, but make it small. 

A Japanese saying that I grew up with as a child, “eat until you are content, not full” speaks volumes to this rule. Make sure your dinner fills you up to contentness - so that you’re no longer hungry - but your stomach isn’t bulging, and you’re left with a lazy, lethargic feeling.

Some helpful options:

- Pasta with olive oil and Parmesan cheese, olives, diced tomatoes and a glass of Italian or French red wine (I’ll touch up on why you should choose exported versus non-organic California wines in another post) 

- Sauteed veggies (broccoli, red and green bell peppers, onions, carrots) with a side of rice

- Spinach salad tossed with sliced onions, pieces of mozzarella cheese, tomato, and topped with olive oil, balsamic vinaigrette, and black pepper and salt

- Grilled, marinated tofu steaks with a side of steamed veggies

- Baked fish with brown rice and veggies

Getting your body used to eating natural foods, and away from seemingly harmless, but absolutely addictive processed foods is also a struggle when we’ve grown up with it, and are constantly surrounded by it. It’s an unhealthy environment.

It’s not as difficult as some make it out to be. For one, buying healthy foods and putting the time in to make that meal you’re about to consume or feed to your loved ones, can actually cost less than buying a value meal from a fast food joint. In studies shown in the documentary “Fed Up”, buying a meal of a chicken, a bag of pasta or rice, and veggies can cost half as much as a KFC family meal.