I had to delay starting a new job for a week but I should start on Monday. I have many, many doctor’s appointments and home care things and it’s a lot. I’ve had elements of being disabled before because of my health, but this is a whole different ball game. This is actually disabling. It’s hard, and there’s a lot of physical pain, and meds, and alarms because I have to take many more meds than usual. There’s maintenance and wearing a 24 hour infusion bag. There’s going to be wheelchairs involved in the next few weeks, instead of the normal scooter.

This is hard. If I didn’t have my parents and sister I’d be in so much trouble. I’ve cried a lot in the last three days.

I’m supposed to start the new semester on September 2nd, in addition to the new full time job. Now I’m fairly disabled, I think, on top of it.

This is only supposed to be six weeks. But god—people permanently live like this. It’s horrid. I’m trying to make it so the majority of body damage I am currently experiencing isn’t forever. And thankfully my insurance seems to be mostly cooperating.

I have a lot of medical trauma. The last two weeks have tested me in so many ways. A nurse told me that up to 15 years ago, if you needed IV infusions, you had to stay hospitalized. It’s not like that now. But the idea of being in the hospital for over a month is so much. Even going home like this is a lot.