get in loser, we're going shoplifting

Well my guys, gals, and non binary pals—as a lot of you already know I got caught two weeks ago. At Ulta, of all places 🙄I told y'all I was gonna give it 8 days to be paranoid and those have come and gone so now I’m moving on. But it is now my solemn duty to make this post for y'all, as many other lifters have before me, to hopefully keep this from happening to you. Well, here’s what I Did Wrong: • I felt “off” from the beginning. The little Ulta spree with my friend was something we planned on doing for weeks, and we decided on a Thursday, but on the day of came down with the flu. Probably the universe tryna tell me not to go but my stubborn ass really wanted a that Peach Palette. On the weekend leading up to Monday I felt “off”. I was no longer sick but I could sense something was wrong in my gut. All experienced lifters will tell you, time and time again—TRUST YOUR GUT. Cut your losses boo! That highlighter ain’t worth it! • I went with a newbie. I’d gone with this guy before and it was a disaster but we didn’t get caught, and I figured since he’d been exposed already it wouldn’t be as bad the second time around. It was his idea to go this time and everything! So I said, Sure, Let’s Do It. (Stupid) Thing is he’s a total weenie. I knew this. It was the reason he brought me along to begin with—he didn’t have the stomach to actually lift things himself so he needed me for that. In return he’d give me a ride, shield me from the cameras, etc. If you read my post about my experience you already know how this ended, but if you haven’t I’ll just tell you: He totally abandoned me. I was about half way through concealing when he about had a panic attack at the store and just WALKED OUT, LEAVING ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF. That in itself isn’t so bad, but he’d caused such a seen that the SAs were looking at me now, and I couldn’t seem to shake them. But the worst part is that he left me. He totally just… drove away. I already knew he was a wimp, but I never in my wildest dreams imagined he was that weak. Moral of the story is don’t give newbies the benefit of the doubt. If you can already sense that they don’t have what it takes from the beginning chances are when things get real they’ll crack, and they’ll act to save themselves. • I got greedy. With the added assistance I got a little bit too comfortable and loaded up. Usually I only get enough to fill up my bag but I got twice as much this time around, at least. My strategy was to conceal in my purse, go to the bathrooms to empty out the bag and move the items so they’re concealed on my body, get back out to the floor and use the free bag space for the rest of the merchandise. If it’d settled for the things I’d concealed on my body and left then, we could have been in and out without incident. I think the SA was suspicious from the beginning tbh, so I think if I’d done this she would have checked the cameras after we left and maybe put up my picture in the back if they saw me conceal on camera. I’m pretty sure I only concealed in blind spots, but it’s kind of a blur at this point I can’t even be sure. • Along those lines, I abandoned the cotton ball method. For those of you that are not familiar with the cotton ball method here’s what you do - you walk into Ulta - you get yourself a tote - you grab a couple of bags of cotton balls - you browse around the store, subtly slipping the items you want behind the cotton balls in your bag, so the SAs can never say they saw said item in your possession - conceal in a blind spot - buy the cotton balls, if the store is empty. If they’re too busy to notice me I just put them back and leave (I DID NOT COME UP WITH THIS METHOD!!!! I LEARNED THIS FROM ANOTHER LIFTER ON HERE I DONT REMEMBER WHO) …anyway so this time I didn’t do that. I just straight up put the things I wanted in the tote for the whole world and God to see. (Stupid) The first time I remember the SA notice me was when she glanced at all the eyeliners in my tote, and asked me if I’d like for her to take it to the front. Now, if you know anything, you know this is a HUGE red flag!! And because I’m not a /total imbecile I decided to swallow my pride and try to get tf out of there. • This is more storytelling than an actual point but read it anyway. So at this point I decide I’m just gonna dump and leave. But it’s too late. The SA has taken to “”“subtlety”“”“ following me around, like “oh what s coincidence you’re here, at the very section I have to stock this shit, of fiddle with the displays lol” 🙄 Bitch you ain’t slick. But neither am I, apparently. So once I’m in front of the UD eyeliners wanting to put them all back, I realize I can’t do that with her literally right next to me without practically waving a big red flag that says “HEY!!! IM STEALING!!!” so I start thinking I’m just gonna have to man up and buy something just to get her off my back. I make up some bullshit story about a little sister who I wanted to her a whole collection of eyeliners for, “but I read the prices on these eyeliners wrong, i thought they were cheaper”. At which point she leads me to the NYX eyeliners which are, admittedly, a whole lot cheaper but I’m still broke af. So I’m sweating and weighing my options here and while I try to decide on a plan of action I’m stalling her/buying time by sending her to the front to ring up the cheap eyeliners but always came back 2 seconds later to hover over my shoulder. Around the 3rd time I do this I think she caught on… pt.1 • pt. 2/ OMFG so here’s what happens next: remember how I told you I’d concealed a shit ton of stuff on myself? Well while I’m looking at the nyx eyeliners, completely by coincidence, some random highlighter (I think?) falls from the display and my dumb ass bends down to pick it up. When you have 10 peach lip glosses stuffed in your pockets and 5 palettes tucked into the waistband of ya jeans you’re gonna look a little funny if you’re bending. I turn to hand her the highlighter and she asks “is there something in your pockets?” • OKAY HERE’S AN ACTUAL POINT. I LET HER LOOK IN MY BAG. DON’T DO THAT. SAY NO. So she asks if there’s something in my pockets and I reach in and pull out a lip gloss and go “oh I’m sorry I think I accidentally put this in my pocket” but she’s not buying it AT ALL. I didn’t think she would but I figured why not try lmao. Then she asks if I have anything in my bag (I did), to which I say no but my dumb ass let’s her look in anyway. And she goes, mhhhhhhmm. That’s when the older SA comes up to us and asks what’s going on. This bitch holds up that dumb highlighter and says “This fell out of her pockets so I looked in her bag and she has a ton of stuff in there!” - the highlighter fell off the display Not my pocket. But she was already suspicious and probably was just looking for an excuse to look in my bag/pockets anyway. - there were like TWO highlighters in there, the fuck? Not a ton of stuff at all, that she could see anyway. 🙄 • So then the senior SA says “alright im gonna need you to come up to the front and empty out your bag” so I follow her and she goes behind the register. And I make the decision real which that I ain’t gonna risk getting the cops called on my ass. I’m just not. I can’t pay for the things in my bag and this adrenaline gonna wear off REAL SOON, so it’s now or never.

Which leads me to the Things I Did Right: • I ran. I do not regret running in the least bit, it was probably my best shot tbh. The SA goes behind the counter and we literally RIGHT NEXT to the door so I just book it. In hindsight I should have dumped the things I had in my bag and then ran but I wasn’t thinking about that 😂 they didn’t chase, but the senior SA called to the other girl to called the cops so I REALLY panic. I run around the parking lot trying to find my friend (fully aware that the SA was watching from the door waiting to write down the plate number of whatever car I get into) and I’m slowly coming to the realization that this bitch fucking drove away. I am furious, and I am running out of time and options. So I pull out my phone and I’m trying to get ahold of this guy while I’m literally SPRINTING to the McDonald’s across the street 😂he finally picks up and I am yelling at him, probably causing a scene in the McDonald’s parking lot, demanding he pick me up. • alright so it was pretty shitty of him to leave me, yes, but it’s ironically the best thing that could have happened. The SA didn’t see the car he was driving, the plates, OR HIM! Side note: the whole reason I was paranoid for a week after this whole thing was because he made a hair appointment with them when we went in the store, so they had all his info. So if they didn’t see him driving, he drove separately, etc. they couldn’t actually prove he was involved or knew anything. Or if they did then they plainly saw that he abandoned me 🙄so that might tell whoever investigated that he didn’t want anything to do with it, left as soon as he saw I was lifting, etc. • I concealed on myself! That was actually so smart to do because even though she checked my pockets and purse she didn’t do a pat down or anything so she didn’t know the full extent of the shit I got. If she had I’d probably have been in a lot more trouble tbh. • I wore a big jacket over my spirit wear! The thing that got those football players from my school caught for shoplifting last year was that they literally wore shirts with our school name on them. The police were able to just show up at our school and be like “Hey who dis? Cool” since then I always make it a point not to wear anything that could lead back to me. I was wearing a club shirt that day (stupid) but I was smart enough to put a big ol jacket over it, and keep it on the entire time.

Well that’s my tale. In case you didn’t wanna read all that Shit here’s the high points: Trust your gut. Don’t go with a newbie. Don’t get greedy. If they ask to look in your bag, always say “no”. Conceal on yourself whenever possible. ALWAYS conceal in blind spots. Know the store policies, because in some cases you’re better off running, in some cases you’re better off cooperating. Don’t give the store any of your info. If you’re buying, pay with cash. Don’t wear spirit wear.

steal her heart

but she was

too busy

stealing from

kmart"

Call the store. Ask to speak to the loss prevention department.

Me: “Hi. I’m looking for a job in loss prevention and am wondering if you’re hiring now.”

Them: “Yes we are!” (Great time to lift. They’re hiring. Which means they need people and if they still have LP they are just putting in their 2 weeks so they can get the hell outta there.) If they aren’t hiring, ask if you can still submit an application.

Me: “Thanks! Who can I ask for when I come in and apply?”

Them: “Ask for Johnny B Good. He’s our LP manager.”

Me: “Thank You!” Hangs up phone. Goes on Facebook and looks up Johnny B Good. Finds him. Cute photo of him and his wife. Awe look. They have a new baby. Sweet. So he’s gained some weight since 2010. Wow. Oh look at his 200 friends. Let’s check them out. LP are close with not only their own LP but other stores as well.

So now I know that Johnny B Good is the LP manager at my favorite store. I also know what he looks like and can watch out for him when I’m in the store. Bonus. If he’s the Manager, he’ll usually be in plain clothes bossing the other LP around so you can find out who they are as well!

This saved me from getting caught one day. I was on the lookout for Johnny B Good and there was no sign of him anywhere. I continued gathering all the stuff I wanted to lift plus the stuff I didn’t. I was about to exit and I got this weird gut feeling. Not now. I strolled around the store some more. I noticed this guy in a green t-shirt who walked passed me twice and it looked like he knew the store employees. It freaked me out that I was being followed and I started dumping sh-t fast!!! I decided maybe I should buy a few things and take a few things. As I’m turning the corner, I look back at green t-shirt and he’s chatting with guess who!? Johnny B Good!!! There he is!! Omg!! So I lift nothing, buy a few items and leave!! I go home and look at his fb again. There’s green t shirt on his friends list!

They stalk you. Why not stalk them? Could save your life one day!!! Does Johnny B Good think I’m a lifter? Maybe. Or maybe just an airhead who couldn’t make up her mind. Who knows. I stayed clear of that place for 6 months!! When I went back I saw him again. He had no clue who I was. I knew who he was though. And that’s all that matters!

When calling another store they not only told me they were hiring but couldn’t connect me to the LP manager because they literally had NO LP at the time and were desperately searching! Yipppeeeeeeeee!!!! I went there 5 days in a row! Lol. Great Hauls.

Information is power. Acquire it, use it!

Different tags can be removed different ways, some of which I won’t go into to here only because I want these tips to be as general as possible in order to be helpful to more people. These tips will work on every tag I’ve ever encountered except 2alarm or 3alarm tags which are the physical embodiment of the devil.

These techniques are tried and tested personally by me, my favourite and most foolproof techniques are marked with an asterisk(*).

Do not read this expecting some miracle technique, this is all just common sense. Also do not try these all in one go, work on each technique one by one and polish your skills to avoid getting cocky or sloppy.

Sus= suspicious, getting caught or being close “Don’t act sus” “security looked super sus” “I hope they don’t sus me out” “I think my mum has sussed out where all these new things are coming from”

*IMPORTANT INFO TO REMEMBER BEFORE DETAGGING* 1. Never detag on the shop floor, take items into the changing room and detag and conceal in your bag or under clothes in there. Sneak items into the changing room unseen by: - slipping items into your bag or pockets or down the front of your trousers or bra in a blindspot (an area where you cannot be seen by cameras, be sure that no staff or customers can see you either) - dumping an open, mostly empty shopping bag below a rail of clothes then subtlety dropping clothes on the hanger into the bag in a blindspot (this one requires super awareness of who can and can’t see you behind your back, very dangerous and not for rookies) when you then pick up this bag be sure to cover the opening of it with your jacket or clothes which you wish to take into the changing room - slipping small items into the pockets of a coat or pair of jeans that you’ll then take into the changing room (stick to things like small wallets and jewellery that are found within or near the clothing section, it will look weird if you are carrying a big coat around the electronics) - *hanging more than one item on a hanger is the easiest and most fool proof way of getting items into the changing room to detag. Grab something chunky and something long, like a floaty dress and and a chunky cardigan or jacket, then hang what ever you want on the neckline of one of the items, you can also hang things on the back loops of jeans, the loop sometimes found on the inside of jacket or a looped label. A few things to watch out for: jackets may fall off the hanger due to the extra weight and reveal your concealment, and make you look nervous and sus, you can avoid this by closing up the jacket, this will also hide the item hung on the jackets loop far better. And make sure to pass a mirror before entering the changing rooms to check if you have any hangers sticking out and hold something against yourself as if you’re checking to make sure it suits you so you don’t look sus. Also if the fitting room attendant takes the items off of you and find the double hung items you can just act dumb and say “oh I knew I had more items” “oops sorry I forgot I was making an outfit” it sounds out of the ordinary but it’s never not worked for me. 2. Some paper tags and barcode stickers have RFID tags hidden inside, these can be deactivated by making a tear which ruins the electronic signal, but I prefer to be leave these behind inside the pockets of jeans or a coat. 3. Always take a pair of jeans or a coat with lots of pockets I to the changing room to hide all your tags in, I find a coat is best because you can hang hangers inside to make more space inside your bag which looks less sus and leaves more room for more stolen goods. A coat isn’t always available though or looks sus in the summer but jeans are stocked year round so is a safe bet. Always remember to take anything that you left tags inside back out to the shop floor and dump somewhere messy in the store or back where you found it, never give it to the changing room attendant! If they find the tags it will be almost impossible to talk your way out of it. 4. Ink tags are not there as a deterrent, they are never fake and do contain ink that will stain your skin and your clothes if it is broken open and it will break open if you are too rough and you will be caught for sure. You need to be super careful with ink tags, super super careful. 5. Do not over stuff your bags, you might as well write “shoplifter” across your forehead in day glow glitter if you’re gonna walk around with a over stuffed bag.

Okay detagging techniques: 1. *Yank the tag, just yank it. Pull the fabric taut and yank the tag itself firmly until there is a rip in the fabric big enough to pull the tag through. Be careful not to pull too hard and make a big, suspicious noise and a big ugly hole. With ink tags you’re better to hold the tag at the edge, and yank softly but firmly, if you keep your hands on the sides it shouldn’t break. 2. Using a seam ripper to make a hole big enough to pull the tag through, get the seam ripper as close to the pin that hold the tag on the garment as possible and dig the point I to the hole made by the pin and push forward softly to rip the fabric. A seam ripper is a tiny metal tool, sort of like a two pronged fork with a razor between the prongs, it is used for ripping out bad seams believe it or not but works just as well on fabrics. Keep your seam ripper inside a small sowing kit inside your bag so that if you get searched you can say you just carry it as part of the kit in case of a wardrobe malfunction, this will get you a far more lenient punishment than if you were caught with the seam ripper on its own. You can find these in any haberdashers and most craft stores. 3. A small pair of nail scissors is also good for digging at the hole made by the pin to make a big enough gap for the tag to come through. Again carry it inside a small nail care kit with nail files and polish and things so you cannot be charged with “going equipped” to steal. 4. A craft knife does the same job but if you are found carrying these around it could look super weird so I’d suggest not carrying these or cutting a small slit in the lining of your handbag and slipping it in there. 5. Plant clippers or socateurs with a thin set of blades will easily cut through tag pins and wires but make a loud sus sound when they snip and could get you caught. Also are much harder to explain or hide than a craft knife, I’d suggest hiding in the handbag lining and only carry them if you truly 100% need them.

Hiding your tags DO NOT LEAVE THEM BEHIND IN THE CHANGING ROOM this is how most shoplifters got caught when I worked in retail. You must hide them and there are a few ways to do this: 1. Take the tags with you and hide them in the pockets of jackets and jeans as you walk about, this is super dangerous and should only be done if the other three methods are impossible. 2. *Hide tags inside the pockets of a jacket or pair of jeans or anything with pockets that you brought into the changing room with you, when you leave do not give the item with hidden tags to the changing room attendant, take it with you and out it so wwheres messy or back where you found it so that the tags will not be found until you are long gone. 3. Tape tags to the bottom of the changing room stool, be careful because the tape might make noise when you peel it and the tag could be found as you leave, fairly risky. 4. If the changing room dividers are thick enough you can reach up and set the tag on top of it. I have been back to shops I did this to a year ago and the tags are still there covered in dust ahahah be careful not to drop the tags I to other changing rooms or too near the door where someone might see your hand.

NOW PLEASE FOR MY SANITY STOP WITH THE ROOKIE ASS QUESTIONS

with the pandemic going on, i've been seeing more and more people are talking about $têälïñg... which means more lîftîñg blogs are going to be created, so i thought i'd make a quick guide.

1: choose your url

the best urls have something related to lîftîñg in their names, as this lets other lîftîñg blogs know you're on their side. many people, myself included, block anyone who interacts and isn't a lîftîñg blog (unless an ask/message is sent saying that your lîftîñg blog is a side blog) (but honestly i don't recommend making your lîftîñg blog a side blog. mistakes get made too easily)

also - kleptomania is a real disorder. don't put "klepto" in your url unless you actually have kleptomania. (which you probably don't, because kleptomania is characterized as $tëålîñg things that you have no use for with no control and feeling intensely guilty afterward. it's very different from the kind of $tëålîñg we do.)

2: setting up your blog

there's a few things you want to do to make sure your lifting blog stays private, or else you might get caught, reported, and deleted by antis.

some people feel safer with a vpn on. this isn't 100% necessary for everyone, but there's no harm in it. it's not hard to find free ones, and spending money on a vpn might be worth it for you because they have other uses.

hide your blog:

settings > visibility > turn on both things to hide your blog from tumblr search and google search.

settings > pages > turn off likes and following so no one can see those pages except you.

settings > general settings > privacy > turn off all three things, just to be safe. this last one isn't necessary, but i recommend it.

also, a lot of people have "roleplay" in their bio as a way of warding off antis.

3: running your blog

don't interact outside of the community. reblogging/liking a post from a non-lîftër calls attention to your blog and every lifting blog you interact with. it's putting yourself and your favorite blogs in danger of being deleted. in fact, many people will block anyone who interacts outside of the community. i'm wary of any post with 1000+ notes, as they can have antis seeing them everyday.

don't tag anything with specific tags. again, this just makes lîftîñg blogs easier to find. make your tags as vague as possible, like "tips" or "important" etc. (i know posts should be hidden from tumblr search, but we can't rely on tumblr to do what we tell it to.)

don't post any personal information. no pictures/videos of your face, no last names, some people have fake first names, and no specific locations. download an app that can remove exif data from pictures, as this can lead to your location. THIS INCLUDES IN DMS. just because the person you're messaging is a lifter does not mean you should trust them.

obscure specific words and names. store names like ŵàlmärt and words like lìftîñg could be picked by search engines if unobscured.

don't be afraid to ask questions! there's no such thing as a stupid question, and when you're lifting it's better to be safe than sorry. i'm always open for asks, though i'm not always logged into this account so it might take me a second to see them.

4: don't get comfortable.

remember that $høplîftîñg isn't a game or a competition, it's a crime. think of that fact every time you go out to $tëál. every time you see something you want, ask yourself if it's worth it. don't get greedy, don't $tëål more than you're ever going to use. be confident, be careful, and know when to stop.