who is dan humphrey

I wouldn’t say that. He has an eye for seeing things and recognizing that the rest of the world could find it interesting. Besides, a few of his own pieces are in that book, Daniel, and they’re great. Argumentative, persuasive, bold. Just so happens to be bound with a few other, equally capturing essays. Perhaps you should take a read. I wouldn’t really judge off of what I’ve seen, although your paper on the modern civil rights movement was well-written. I suppose you don’t let a lot of people read your work, but if you ever do want an opinion, I would love the chance. 

I won't deny you've given a good argument, perhaps if given the opportunity D'Armorgio would be honored to have a sit down with you. Since you think so highly of it, I'll give it another read only with the exception that you give my favorite work a try, if you haven't already. Its called 'The Art of Fielding' by Chad Harbach, I guarantee its a fiercely good read.

Even college papers? I’d be far from intrigued by that if I were a writer.

My advice to you, stray from using fonts that are more commonly used and avoid those that look like an eighth grader picked them out. If you'd like to play it safe, I'd recommend Calibri. And your topic is fascinating, what class is this for?

You went to the best sellers event? I spent weeks trying to get my hands on a ticket. I finally had to settle for an e-mail response from D’Ambrosio telling me that I’ll have ‘better luck next year’ and that he was ‘grateful that someone actually enjoyed his work.’ You write, then?

Well how could you be surprised, the guy literally got his name out there by compiling his best short stories and placing them in print. I see no real talent there besides his lack of creativity, he's got to be one of the most hated men on the list. Aside from what you've seen? Absolutely.

You’re a fan of McInereny? I always go to the bookstore whenever he holds a reading and I have the time on my hands. One of my favorite writers. 

I'm surprised we haven't run into each other before, I've attended a handful of his seminars. My father took me to the New York Times best sellers event, I was the worst dressed but I learned the most. Anybody whose made a phenomenal distinction through literature was there.

But as a writer, I'm intrigued by viewing others work. That, I will not apologize for.

"Anybody up for shopping and lattes once school finishes? Dying for a good gossip and a new wardrobe!" 

Not quite, I'd rather bleed from every orifice of my body. I'd prefer if you didn't unironically make fun of the amount of plaid I wear.

Two of the most acceptable excuses for being excited for spending time away from our materialistic excuse of a high school. This allows plenty of time for McInereny's readings. 

Well, if you ever actually tried to fit in, you wouldn’t have to worry about that. But, for some reason, you think you’ll enjoy life more if you have no actual friends. And I’m so glad that you have no interest in my life and dreams and goals. It really says a lot about you, Dan. And don’t you dare talk about mom. She would have understood and actually given me a chance to defend myself and my choices. 

I don't want to fit in to whatever life you're living. I actually enjoy buying my clothes from the thrift store, and putting it towards something a little more life fulfilling. The schools we attend are supposed to give us a chance one day, the only thing you've done for yourself is make friends with people who use you. If mom really wanted to give you a chance, she'd be here. With us.

That’s interesting, I guess. And no I personally wouldn’t really. I’ve never really thought of it like that, in the wider politics of life. I always think of it just on the side of society, which is naive of me…

You learn something new everyday. These people cannot be trusted. 

It’s better to avoid that place at all costs; I hear that the food there is subpar. 

Well nothing is worse than the Brooklyn Diner in Times Square. Not sure if you've ever had it, considering it sells patty melts, fish and chips and such, but its not good.

An exaggeration maybe, but it would be funny. Don’t worry, I’ll probably just keep it for my personal collection rather than putting it in my portfolio.

Personal collection? I suppose I can relate, having my journal and all. Its not like I have much of a reputation to withhold.

Maybe he didn’t know you were talking to him. Kinda just looked like you were making conversation to that statue over there.

I know it looks bad, but do you believe everything you see?

Now I think you’re the one that’s wrong. If all they want are wealthy drug dealers, then why bother? Isn’t college supposed to be the place where you perfect the skills necessary for what you love? I get the feeling that passing around tiny bags of a white substance isn’t your future dream. And here is where I insert some cliche about following your heart.

All of the ivy leagues don't care about our futures, they are more concerned about the amount of money that people are bringing in. And now I know that for a fact because my credentials should have gotten me a guaranteed spot to step in for Yale at Ivy week. Yet I didn't.

You’re right about that, taking advice from Chuck Bass clones isn’t something I would want to spend my life doing. Or you know, at least my day. But then again, I wouldn’t really take advice from anyone living on the Upper East Side. Not when half the shit that comes out of their mouths is bullshit, but, then again all that bullshit would make a decent piece of literature.

I'm even more intrigued by some of the things they do say, I'm normally appalled by their problems. Here I am struggling to get into the college of my choice, and they are concerned about whether or not they're even going. And where they will go if they do. Ivy leagues are choices for them. 

I’ve only studied dementia patients, I’m sure it’s far more terrifying than a book could explain. For the sake of people not thinking you’re actually insane, I’ll be a stand in for your statue friend here.

I don't mind the mortal company, as opposed to this guy. That is, only if you're intrigued by my picking apart each and every person whose indefinitely of the upper east side placement. 

Why are you even talking to me in the first place?

Now I'm not entirely sure, but I genuinely thought you were interested in hearing about my cat.

What’s that supposed to mean? It’s not like I’m bad company. And, man, relax I wasn’t hitting on your sister. 

Through experience, you are what you're born into. And I'm not crazy about the people I've met whose net worth is more than my apartment.