“Of course we’re in love, that’s why i tried to shoot you” “if you really loved me you wouldn’t have missed” is such a raw ass line you would think it comes from Goncharov (1973) and you would be right

Remember when you could look things up online. Do you remember how we used to search

In every way this is set up to be a joke like any other short video, it even uses the trope of main character in a wig to represent their mom, but it isn't funny at all. It's just sweet and nice

I’m gonna propose “I guess you haven’t read the silmarillion then :/” as a default response to anyone not understanding a reference to something obscure. even if it’s not remotely Tolkien related. I want to build up a perception that perhaps the sum total of human knowledge is contained in the silmarillion

XKCD and Tumblr once again providing weapons I cannot use

i hate that diet culture means all the tasty drinks everywhere are loaded with stevia now. this isn't even a stance about health, I just think it tastes so fucking bad

My role at the function is to lean on the table and look like a dying dog to bring the mood down of everyone else present

this lamb keeps trying to sacrifice itself even though no one really needs or wants it to do that

She's local to me, so I'm friends with her on facebook and everyone has been SO nice to her about it! I see her at cons a lot and she's done events with the group I volunteer with - she's always been absolutely lovely and I could not be happier for her!

you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools

to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.

I thought you meant we were descendents -of- stone tools

your father was a handaxe and your mother smelt of microliths

if i were a respected british actor with any principles at all i would simply not agree to a project whose earnings will have material consequences for trans people but maybe i'm built differently

What are your pronouns and would you like to join my union

i love how this is always showing up on my dash entirely free of the context that the ood’s response to this question is ‘the beast shall rise from the pit and make war against god’

Oh that’s just how it is in retail

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep