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Illustration I made years ago for a magazine

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LITTLE WOMEN (1994) dir. Gillian Armstrong
tired and wanna go home
They said Cass Elliot died choking on a ham sandwich. That lie spread around the world, and the truth couldnāt catch up for decades.
On July 29, 1974, in London, Cass Elliotā"Mama Cass" to millionsāwas found dead in a borrowed flat. She was only 32 years old. She had just finished two weeks of sold-out shows at the London Palladium, a career milestone most singers only dream of. A friend found her in bed, looking peaceful. A half-eaten sandwich sat on a nearby nightstand.
By the next morning, the rumor was everywhere. But it wasn't true. The coroner confirmed the cause immediately: heart failure. There was no choking and no food involved. The sandwich was irrelevant, but the story was too "perfect" for a cruel world to let go. It became a punchline that a woman of her size wasn't allowed to escape, even in death. For forty years, late-night comedians made jokes and newspapers repeated the myth without checking. It became "common knowledge" because, apparently, if you are a woman who doesn't fit the mold, the world will find a way to make you the joke.
Before the lie and the tragedy, Ellen Naomi Cohen was a force of nature. Born in Baltimore, she was smart, magnetic, and gifted. By the 1960s, she was the anchor of The Mamas & The Papas. Think of "California Dreamin'." That warm, iconic harmony wraps around you like summer, but Cassās voice is what holds it together. It was rich, pure, and unmistakable. Musicians knew that when Cass sang, you stopped to listen.
Yet, the industry didnāt know how to handle her. She was brilliant, but she wasn't thin. Executives told her to lose weight to be a star; TV producers worried her appearance would be a "distraction." While male rock stars could be disheveled or overweight and be called "authentic," Cass was constantly scrutinized. She faced fat jokes on talk shows and was expected to laugh along.
Cass did what many women feel forced to do: she tried to "fix" herself. She endured years of crash diets and extreme weight loss cycles. She would lose 50 pounds, then gain it back, caught in a loop because the industryās hunger for thinness was bottomless. Offstage, she was a dedicated single mother to her daughter, Owen, and a famously generous friend. She was "Mama Cass" because she took care of everyone. But the world still wouldn't let her be great without an asterisk. Even at the height of her solo success with "Dream a Little Dream of Me," reviews prioritized her dress size over her talent.
When her heart finally stopped at 32, the autopsy revealed heart muscle damage (myocardial degeneration). This is often linked to the physical strain of extreme yo-yo dieting and malnutritionāthe very "solutions" the world demanded of her. The industry that told her she needed to change is likely what killed her. And when she died, the world turned that tragedy into a joke about a sandwich.
Her daughter, Owen, now 57, has spent her life defending her motherās memory. She once noted that perhaps if the world had just let her mother be, her heart wouldn't have been under such impossible strain. We are still doing this todayāreducing women to their measurements and making thinness a prerequisite for respect. But Cass Elliotās voice is still here. Itās in the coffee shops, the movies, and the airwaves.
The lie lasted 40 years, but her talent is permanent. Cass Elliot didnāt die because of a sandwich; she died because her heart gave out under the weight of a world that refused to make room for her. Next time you hear her sing, listen to the power in that voice. Itās louder than any lie.
Youāll be at peace when you realize people are at war with themselves not you.

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THE GODFATHER (1972) dir. Francis Ford Coppola.
constantine, 2005
normalize flopping. itās ok to fail baby. sexy even
grace is like rocky be honest am i too clingy? and rocky is like grace i would mind meld with you if i could.

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Etched in the surface Project Hail Mary (2026) dir. Phil Lord,Ā Chris Miller
Mammal in a Sunday Dress, by Georgina M. Cox, 2026
Megan Lawless as Sarah Harper OBSESSION (2026) Dir. Curry Barker
I fucking hate golf courses so much stupid ecologically dead wastes of water and land just for the pleasure of rich losers
made in 2026
lauraās endless list of favouritesĀ ā movies ā¼ anastasia "I guess every lonely girl would hope she's a princess."

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āHer mama didnāt need magic ingredients for her dresses. Her hands and her talent made magic from ordinary thingsā
-Disney Princess Beginnings: Tianaās Best Surprise
GRACE KELLY as FRANCES STEVENS
TO CATCH A THIEF (1955) dir. alfred hitchcock