living on a latte and a prayer

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The moment Ezra was close enough for the door to swing shut behind him, Kian had the other man pushed up against it. His own pants felt tight as his erection strained against the fabric, but he ignored the throbbing sensation to surge forward and pepper Ezra’s jaw with kisses, his teeth dragging indelicately against the other man’s stubble. He drew back long enough to take a breath, a delighted laugh spilling from his lips as he felt Ezra return the favour, repaying him kind with kisses of his own before their lips finally met, their tongues gliding against each other. Kian rocked his hips gently at the fell of the other man’s hands, enjoying the easy way the two of them seemed to melt into each other’s touch. 

“What?” Kian murmured, the question floating through the air. Like seemed almost juvenile, but there was truly no other word for how Kian felt right about now. Not one that would do the current state of their relationship justice, not one that didn’t feel to heavy and out of place on his tongue. Besotted came to mind, maybe even smitten. He wouldn’t be caught dead admitting that to Ezra, though, mostly because he’d never used those words in his life. 

Truthfully, admitting so openly that he liked Ezra had probably been a great cock up on his end, one he hadn’t quite come to terms with. But there was something a little freeing about their current situation, the slither of a mask that guarded Kian’s face from the full view of his punters, his appearance only partially obscured, but enough to fill him with a bizarre amount of confidence. Andrew McGrath wouldn’t dream of stepping foot in The Black Dog, but it was still the sort of establishment that welcomed all sorts of patrons. He’d heard his fair share of slurs uttered casually from one customer to another, all while wiping down a bar top or pulling a pint. He didn’t like to invite that sort of trouble into his personal life, no matter how much he was enjoying his time with Ezra. Not now, not after everything. 

Tonight, though, he could be anybody he wanted to be. 

He gazed back at Ezra, who was now looking at him with a glint in his eye, a glimmer of hope as he sought out confirmation from Kian. He could give him that, even if only for tonight. There was nobody to hide from, not tucked away in the keg room with a pretty man holding him close and keeping him warm. 

“I like you, yeah,” he breathed, cheeks burning hot. Kian McGrath wasn’t prone to blushing, not usually. “I like your gorgeous little mouth and your ridiculous feckin’ smarm and your eyes that are somehow utterly to fuckin’ die for despite being the same colour as my own.” 

And oh, Ezra had most certainly fallen.

He let his head fall back, gently thunking against the door behind him. A soft smile crossed his face as he stared at Kian, no ego in his expression. For once, Ezra was happy to just let himself be without performing for someone. 

He liked Kian, so terribly much. And if the other man was being open about the fact that he liked Ezra back, why should either of them bother to hide it in the safety of the keg room. It wasn’t a place he imagined had been witness to declarations like this, what with the strong smell of Guinness wafting up from the barrels and puddles of sticky liquid surrounding their feet. But it was a room that kept them safe from prying eyes and, perhaps for the first time in his life, Ezra wasn’t in the mood to be picky.

“I don’t know,” Ezra said with a gentleness he wasn’t used to. He reached up to slide Kian’s mask from his eyes to his forehead. His touch was… Well, embarrassingly, the only word that could really be applied was reverent. “I think your eyes are quite something. When I can see them properly.”

His cheeks dimpled as he smiled at Kian, leaning in again and stopping just short of the other man’s mouth.

“I like you too. An awful lot,” he confessed before leaning in to kiss him. His hands found Kian’s waist again and he tugged him closer, eyes falling shut. Something settled in his chest as he kissed the other man, and he felt a calm that he hadn’t felt since the early days of, ugh, Harry. But this was different. This was good, right?

“I like your frown when you get frustrated with me,” he muttered, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards as he trailed kisses along Kian’s cheek. “And how much lip you give Harry. He really doesn’t like you, you know.” Another kiss to the bridge of Kian’s nose. “And your accent. We know how much I like the accent.”

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The realisation was like an electric shot to his heart. 

Kian didn’t do relationships. Kian had done one relationship – if you could even call it that – and it had hospitalised him and ended his career. And it wasn’t as though he thought Ezra was ever capable of hurting him like that, emotionally or physically, but the truth was far more terrifying than that. In reality, Kian knew without a shadow of a doubt that he had it in him to hurt Ezra in all the ways he’d been trying to protect himself from, and it scared him to no end. 

But they were kissing and it was nice, it was safe. Kian had to keep reminding himself that it was safe. He was safe. There were a million and one things about Ezra that he could choose to flag as unsavoury or unsuited to him, but the taste of his mouth against Kian’s and the feel of his fingers in his hair didn’t come close. In fact, it was the press of his mouth against the bartender’s cheek that helped to steady his heartrate, to soothe the fresh wave of panic that had threatened to take hold of him. 

“Just as well I like you and I don’t plan to stop then, hm?” he managed to breathe, the words soft as they lingered between the two of them. 

Unbeknownst to Kian, he’d just plainly handed over an admission so sacred that it might become his very own undoing. Or perhaps it would be the best thing that ever happened to him. 

A sound caught in his throat, somewhere between a laugh and a groan, as he shook his head at the posh wanker he’d become so endeared by. Now would be the perfect time to pull away and get back to work, but he’d always struggled to stay away from Ezra. Even when the two of them had loathed each other completely, they’d still found ways to obsess over one another. 

“Ah, sure, I suppose the bar can survive a half an hour or so without me, don’t ye think?” he grinned, finally relenting with a wink before slowly backing away from the bar. His lips melted into a playful smirk as he beckoned the other man over, shouldering the door behind the bar open as he awaited his pretty little thief. 

If the casual way he bypassed acknowledging it was anything to go by, Ezra figured he simply couldn’t be. Surely, he should have noticed the way Ezra himself had been struck dumb into silence though. He was not a quiet man, and to have him rendered so speechless would almost certainly have helped Kian cotton onto something being… not wrong, as such. No, definitely wrong. But Ezra was reeling.

Obviously, the two of them liked each other well enough. Ezra was operating under no pretenses here. They were the only person the other was sleeping with and he doubted there were plans to change that soon. Labels, while something Ezra longed for, seemed to have no place in the inner workings of Kian’s mind, and so Ezra had allowed that one potential little win to slip away from him. He’d even surprised himself by how eagerly he had handed over control. Shockingly, he hadn’t needed the label of ‘boyfriend’ or ‘partner’ or anything else to reassure himself that Kian was perhaps all-in with him. The other man’s behaviour had been enough. 

But Kian liked him. Had admitted it like it was nothing, as if he were merely commenting on the weather.

Ezra stared at the other man as he walked backwards to the door behind the bar, beckoning Ezra to follow him with a come hither motion that nearly undid him right then and there.

He swallowed roughly, pushing back from the countertop and making his way around the bar. He wasn’t actually sure if there was anyone around to cover for Kian right now, but it wasn’t something he gave any sort of particular fuck about. Not when he was straining against these stupid leggings, and the man he was mad about was telling him he liked him.

He slipped into the keg room after Kian and, as soon as the door was shut behind them, he had the other man pressed up against it.

Ezra’s mouth left a trail of blazing kisses over Kian’s jaw before he sealed their mouths together. Inhaling through his nose, his hands fit against Kian’s hips as he kissed him, deep and slow.

“You like me?” he asked, pulling back slightly. 

Ezra wasn't asking for confirmation. He knew Kian liked him. He was double checking that Kian knew he’d said it out loud, that he was comfortable with Ezra hearing him utter a declaration like that.

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