Point Blank, Plain and Simple.

At what point do you give up on the dream of being with and the love you have for someone? Even if everything in your heart and soul tells you that you two would be perfect for each other and you see it when you actually spend.time together, but you think it will only go this far and never be more. When do you say that I'm done and just give up it.all because no one else will ever be what that person is and what you want so you just give up on it all? When do you let your dream die?

I had a moment today when I realized that no one has ever fought for me. What I mean by that is that, I have fought to be with someone, doing so much telling then how I feel , showing them how I feel and even when the relationship seemed to be lost or that there would not be one I still fought to have it. I know this probably sounds weird coming from a guy, but I have watched enough dramas to think that someone would want to fight for me and all I bring. I mean I try to be someone that I would want. So when you stop and think that no one has thought enough of you to fight to when you or fight to keep you it really makes you just think of how bad are you that no one wants to sacrifice and fight for you.

Some.people will never know or understand what it is like to be alone. To go home and have nothing waiting for you. To call or text people and get no response. To know you are just going to be by yourself with nothing but wonder why no one wants you is all you have.

So I have decided that this will be the place for me yo have an outlet. Mostly because no one knows who I am on here so I can say pretty much what I want and the fact that only two people IRL know I have this page but they never come to Tumblr anymore so think I can just get stuff off my mind and not worry about people thinking I want attention or need to be consoled or anything. I have learned that getting your feelings from you head and soul out into the universe in some way helps relieve the stress and pain you deal with. I think I have a lot to just get out. But so much stuff to get out. I will just start to post what is in my head and see how I feel.

You know it’s hard to realize that you are not that important in people’s lives anymore. I have friends, but I just am alone and alone a lot, people, I use to talk to everyday now I talk to once a week maybe. A person I use to just do everything with only really wants to go out when they don’t have another option lately. No one I have in my life have actually needs me. If I disappeared, I just know nothing would change for them. But even though they don’t need me, I need them, but just have nothing. Starting to wonder what the point is and why I just don’t leave this all behind. I also came to the realization this past weekend that even though I have a roommate if I was to die on a Friday night there is a really good chance that no one would know until Sunday morning and only then because my roommate and I work at the same place and he would need me to go in on Sunday. Yeah not a single person just called or text to say hi. That is becoming the normal for me. Yeah, I know I’m whining but this is my place to do that. Nothing to do but just give up on being happy in this lifetime.