First, I want to thank you so much for all of your support. Your comments and feedback really mean the world to me. Iâve made so many friends on this platform, and I utterly adore getting to talk with you all.
I post less frequently now because I have a job, but I'll always come back x
(you can also find my work on Wattpad and Ao3 under @pandorahurts)
⥠= favourites
Each section is ordered by oldest to newest
Art Masterlist
General TWD Masterlist
[COMPLETE] Here Comes the Sun (S2-S4) Â
Daryl Dixon scares the hell out of you climbing out of that damn creek. It takes hauling his ass halfway across Georgia and taking a bullet for him to realise that you're not half bad. He slowly starts to come around, despite grumbling about how much he doesn't like your singing, or that you can't use a gun for shit - and don't get him started on that ugly yellow tent of yours. It takes him a while before he starts to see for himself that he's found a best friend for life, and that he doesn't actually mind the colour yellow that much, after all.
Step on the Gas (Pre-S1 onwards)
Three-hundred-and-ninety-six days after the outbreak, you are discovered in an abandoned community college, covered in filth and barely able to speak a word. Despite the showers (multiple) and rehabilitation attempts (also multiple), it's apparent that your mind is elsewhere. Beyond saving.
A dishonourable discharge from the military results in you being hauled off to live with your grandparents in the boonies, otherwise known as the middle of nowhere Georgia. After running over a nail on the road, and pushing your grandpa's vintage Camaro to the nearest auto-shop, you meet Daryl Dixon - the local mechanic. At some point, the world ends, but that stubborn man never gives you a chance to slow down. His smile gives you whiplash, but he still insists that you to step on the gas.
The Ties That Mend (Prison onwards) âĄ
This new world is chaos, but you're lucky to find good people in it. Moreso than any is a man named Daryl, who is patient enough to let you put yourself back togetherâone stitch at a time.
Hush Hush (S4, 3 Parts)
Youâd always been told that eavesdropping was a bad thing. But in this case, it led to you finding one of the only few good things left in the world.
Foxtails and Rabbit Trails (with @whitexwingedxdovesââ)Â
Daryl Dixon was a good hunter, but there were still some things that he struggled to find. Such as the patience to deal with you.
You wore a rabbitâs foot keyring, but Daryl thought you were the furthest thing from lucky. After all, you ended up stuck with him, too.
Snow Angels (Between S2 - S3)
Daryl Dixon doesnât like snow, but you somehow convince him to make snow angels with you.
Puppy Love (Loosely S10)
Bathtime leaves you to deal with a wet Dog and wet Daryl.
Sea Witch (S4)Â
You sing just like a siren, and it makes Daryl realise why some sailors chose to drown.
Poker Face (S5)Â
You let Spencer teach you to shoot despite already knowing how; and it drives Daryl positively mad as a result.
Sketchbook Confessions (S4) âĄ
You flick through Darylâs sketchbook, only to discover heâd filled the pages up with you.
Eye For Detail [Sequel to Sketchbook Confessions]Â Â
You try to sketch Daryl in return. Except, you draw his smile a little crooked, and the eyes are wonky... And Daryl completely loves it.
Prom Night (Pre-Apocalypse)Â Â
It was the night of your highschool prom. Except, Daryl had been kicked out a few months back and you didnât have a date, either.
Hayloft (Pre-Apocalypse) âĄ
You see a red-brick barn which reminds you of the days you'd spending smoking in a hayloft with Daryl Dixon.
Last Man Standing  (repost)Â
Daryl is haunted by memories of you. But theyâre the good kind - so he lets them stick around.
Look Straight Ahead âĄ
You are the only person Daryl Dixon will ever let cut his hair.
Peek-A-Boo âĄ
The story of Aunt and Uncle Dixon told through the eyes of Judith Grimes.
Inkstains
You spend the night trapped in a tattoo shop with Daryl, and he emerges the next morning with some new ink.
Big Brother âĄ
The story of how Daryl Dixon won your heart, from the begrudging perspective of his brother, Merle.
Wildest Dreams
Daryl canât help but toss and turn under the stars one night, remembering someone from his past who he should have long since forgotten.
Sunflower Fields
In an otherwise dying world, you and Daryl stumble across something living and beautiful.
[NEW]Â Renegade
A brief history of Daryl Dixonâs run-ins with the law (and how you always bailed him out).
[NEW] Crossfire âĄ
Rick Grimes recalls the day his brother almost lost you (since Daryl still couldnât bring himself to).
Two SugarsÂ
You pester Daryl about what he did before the apocolypse, but are soon reminded that it doesnât matter.
Dot-to-dotÂ
You like to trace patterns, and Daryl Dixon is your canvas.
After HoursÂ
Daryl stuffs you into a broom closet and you start to wonder if youâre reliving your highschool days.
Iâm DarylÂ
Captured alongside Daryl by The Saviors, you are used to try and coax the man into submission.
I Ainât Nobodyâs Bitch [Sequel to Iâm Daryl]Â
You and Daryl escape The Santuary; but mentally, youâre still there.
SunbeamÂ
Daryl proposes to you. At least, you think he did.
Magnets Â
Daryl Dixon had a crush on you. You could tell.
Love Blindness [Spin-off to Magnets]Â
You had a crush on Daryl Dixon. Everyone else could tell.
HourglassÂ
You arenât sure whether youâre the same person you were before Woodberry; Daryl tells you that youâre not.
After The StormÂ
Sunshine always follows the rain, just like how youâll always follow Daryl.
I See Red
Youâll threaten anyone who dares mess with your little brother; and Daryl is left to pick up the pieces when you feel guilty for doing so.
Sleepless Nights âĄ
They say that your firstborn opens your eyes to the world; but Daryl looked at her like she was the world.Â
Wear My Heart On Your Sleeve
Daryl doesnât quite fit in at Alexandria yet - but he still tries.
Caught Red Handed
Even during the apocolypse, you and Daryl experience little moments of domesticity.
Heartbreak Hotel
Daryl had already rejected you once - back when heâd been a little more baby-faced, and a lot less patient.
No Vacancy [Sequel to Heartbreak Hotel]
Rejected once, shame on you. Rejected twice, shame on him - and Daryl Dixon was no fool.
Doctorâs OrdersÂ
Daryl isnât too impressed when he finds you with a sling on your arm and a smile on your face.
Hey, Good Lookinâ
You could count the number of showers Daryl had taken in the last few weeks on one hand. But somehow, he still looked just as good.
Crayon Family âĄ
Daryl loses your daughter, but you end up finding more than youâd bargained for.
Check My Jacket
Even as heâs held prisoner at The Sanctuary, Daryl canât help but let his thoughts drift back to you.
Welcome Home [Sequel to Check My Jacket]
You and Daryl reunite after he escapes from The Sanctuary, and he finally reveals what heâs been hiding in his jacket pocket.
Barricade
Daryl Dixon makes sure that nobody gets left behind - especially not you.
Two Left Feet
You give Daryl Dixon dancing lessons.
Cross My Heart
Daryl begrudgingly allows you to tie his hair up to help him cope with the Georgia heat.
âDonât Cryâ âĄ
Daryl hates seeing your tears. Heâd much rather see you smiling, instead.
Can I Hold Your Hand?
Rather than seeking comfort from God, you turn to one of his angels instead - a man named Daryl Dixon.
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Summary: Three-hundred-and-ninety-six days after the outbreak, you are discovered in an abandoned community college, covered in filth and barely able to speak a word. Despite the showers (multiple) and rehabilitation attempts (also multiple), it's apparent that your mind is elsewhere. Beyond saving.
This new world is chaos, but you're lucky to find good people in it. More so than any is a man named Daryl, patient enough to let you put yourself back togetherâone stitch at a time.
The medical bay smells faintly of antiseptic. You sit stiff on the edge of an examination table, a paper sheet crinkling under your jeans; you try not to rip it as you readjust. Before you, the doctorâformer vet, as he correctedârifles through supplies with practiced care.
âAny trouble sleeping?âÂ
The question weighs heavy on your chest. From anyone else, it would sting, but Hershelâs tone isnât discriminatory. He has no knowledge of last nightâwasnât there at breakfast, either. He didnât notice the faces too tired to hide their disdain for you. To him, youâre just another patient.Â
Itâs ironic. The vet is the first person here not to look at you like an animal.
âSome,â you reply, after a moment.
Itâs a lie, of course. A big fat one.Â
Back at the college, sleep was a thing that took you only when it was lucky. Even then, it was never peaceful. It was something stolen in fits and starts as you held the door shut from whatever lurked on the other side. Here, those nights still haunt you.Â
âJust a new place,â you add. âIâll gâget used to it.âÂ
Hershel doesnât press. Whether he believes you or not, he drops the subject for now, opting instead to examine your hands. You flinch at first, instinct pulling you back. But the warmth in his old fingers seeps through your skin, coaxing you to unclench your palms.
He studies the callouses lining them: the handiwork of your hatchet.Â
You feel dismembered without it.Â
After the last three-hundred-and-ninety-seven days, you could hardly remember a time you before it. It had been with you since the outbreak. Ever since you smashed that glass box near the fire escape, in search of anything to defend yourself.Â
Youâd been near catatonic when Rick had pried it from your hands the night before. âThere are children here,â heâd reasoned, conjuring an image of a boy in a Sheriffâs hatâtoo curious for his own good.Â
You couldnât bring yourself to refute him; youâd nearly taken the heads of two of his group already. Even now, Darylâs expression still burns behind your eyes, not particularly angry nor pitiful. Just sort of⌠Disappointed?Â
Somehow that was worse.
âYouâre a lucky one, my dear,â Hershel notes, his thumbs brushing over the rough patches between your fingers. âTo be in this condition⌠Itâs nothing short of miraculous.âÂ
You raise a brow, trying to discern any humour in his words. What about you could possibly be lucky?Â
âBesides the malnourishment and sores,â Hershel continues, his smile so genuine you almost donât believe it, âyouâre healthy.â
Healthy. The word sounds foreign. Impossible. You canât be healthyânot in the head, at least.
You say nothing, choosing only to watch as Hershel pulls a small jar from his medical kit. He unscrews the lid to reveal a pungent salve. As he spreads it over your hands, the sting is sharp, bitingâbut like everything else these days, it fades quickly into nothingness.
âIâd suggest bone broth for the first couple of meals. Meat will be too rich,â he says, matter-of-factly.
Grimacing, you nod; youâd already discovered that.Â
But as Hershel works, you canât help but notice the kindness in his actions. He applies the salve with gentle ministrations, retreating out of your space as soon as heâs done. Itâs refreshing. Thereâs something about him that calms you. Whether itâs the crinkles of his eyes, or the way he rounds his sentences, it has you speaking before the words have even taken shape in your head.Â
âHershel?âÂ
His gaze flickers to yours.
âWhat do you know aboutâŚâ You hesitate, swallowing hard. âThe mâmind? Can you fix it?â
His expression softens, though the weight of his answer is clear before he speaks. âUnfortunately, thatâs one of the toughest things to mend,â he says. âTakes time. Patience.â
How many days? you want to ask, but your better judgement cautions against it. Thatâs not the right question. This isnât something that can be measured by tally marks on a wall.Â
âWhere do I start?â you ask instead.
Thereâs a pause. Hershel chooses his next words with care. âA good nightâs sleep,â he says. âThen ten. Then fifty.â
You try not to let his answer deflate you.
Does he know you can barely manage one?
âThose tremors, too,â Hershel leans back slightly, considering you, âTheyâre no good. Have you burning through energy quicker than you can replenish it.âÂ
He takes a second to deliberate, pawing at the white hairs of his beard. Then, something flashes behind his eyesâa recollection. An idea. âYou know what they used to suggest to old war vets?â
You keep quiet, waiting.
âRepetitive action,â he explains. âSomething you can do without thinking.â
His raised brow prompts for an answer.
 âGuitar.â
It comes to you immediately, dredged up from another life. Free classes at the college, teaching music to a bunch of ragtags dumped by their parents after church. You never loved itâit was just something to do.
Hershel chuckles softly. âHavenât seen many of those around these parts, Iâm afraid. What about something a little more⌠accessible? Sketching, knittingââ
âI can sew,â you interrupt.
The admission feels small but significant. It was your motherâs trade, just poor seamstress trying to make ends meet. Sheâd only passed down two things to you when she died: her needlework and her debt.Â
âThatâll be handy,â Hershel replies.
He makes no show of it, but you catch him reaching over to open the drawer beside him. After some calculated rummaging, his hand emerges with a biscuit tinâan odd find amongst prescription bottles and bandages. As he pops the lid open, youâre met with a familiar sight: a sewing kit filled with buttons, thread, and patches of mismatched cloth.
Hershel locks eyes with you before speaking, âThis is what I want you to do. Each time you thread this needle, visualise yourself letting go of whatever it is thatâs holding onto you.â He places it into your palm; itâs a little rusted, but youâve seen worse. âI want you to practice itâeach stitch, mending those parts you want to fix.â
You glance between him and the needle, trying to process his words.
âIf you ever feel like youâre losing controlâwhich you willâI want you to imagine you are here. Threading the needle. Safe, focused.â
Before you can reply, Hershel plucks it from you, dropping it back into the small biscuit tin for safe keeping. With the lid secured, he gestures for you to put it in your pocket.
âBut first, you need to clean yourself up. You might not be sick now, but staying covered in filth,â he says, taking a pause to look you up and down, âitâs only a matter of time.âÂ
You find yourself agreeing.
Itâs strange, you think. In this moment, the old man could tell you anythingâto stick your hand in flames or jump from a tall buildingâand you fear you would. Itâs a dangerous countenance he has. One that instills trust.Â
You don't argue when Hershel offers to walk you back through the winding corridors to Cell Block D. His gait makes you feel a little guiltyâhe's missing a leg, after allâbut your appreciation for his presence outweighs it.
As you pass by the windows overlooking the courtyard, the air carries the faint smell of damp concrete, rusted metal, and peopleâtoo many people, their voices filtering in with the breeze. You prepare yourself to face their scrutiny. The nicknames they thought you didnât notice:
Loony BinÂ
You had keen ears, and that one was loud.
In an obvious attempt at distraction, Hershel begins to tell you about his daughters. âYouâll like Maggie,â he says, a faint smile in his voice. âSheâs strongâheadstrong, sometimesâjust like her mother. And youâve already met her husband.â He notes the confusion on your face before adding, âGlenn.â
Your steps falter. Glenn. The realisation sinks in slowly as you draw the thread between them all. Hershelâs warmth, the glimmer of trust in his eyesâit wasnât random. He had Maggieâs smile, Glennâs optimism.
And youâd almost killed his son-in-law.Â
âThough he might be off on some errand,â Hershel continues, oblivious to the tangle of thoughts in your mind. âThat boy never sits still.â
He then chuckles softly, like heâs sharing an inside joke. It does little to calm your nerves.
By the time you reach the entryway to Cell Block D, youâre already on edge. The low hum of voices carries through the open door, a stark contrast to the relative quiet of the medical bay. You spot a small group gathered near the common areaâa brother-sister duo whose names youâve already forgotten, Carol, Maggie, and a young woman you canât quite place.Â
âOne of my girls will show you to the washroom,â Hershel announces, nodding towards the brunette in the corner. She offers a polite smile but seems less than thrilled at the prospect. âAnd this is my youngestââ
âBeth?âÂ
The name tears out of you before Hershel even finishes.
Across from you, she stands motionless. Unaware. Thereâs a good ten years between youâat leastâbut her face, though older and sharper, holds the same softness you remembered. You still see her as the kid who played piano, sang shy and did good.
Beth Greene. Youâre certain itâs her, recognised her from the recesses of your memory. Sweet, quiet Beth. Alive.
But she canât be realâcan she?
Her face is full of confusion at first. But that disappears the moment she takes a step forward, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. âSweet Jesus,â she breathes, âIs that really you? What happened?â
You chew over the question: what happened?
What didnât? The answers feel too jagged, too large to fit into words. Your mind is racing, unraveling. Sheâs not supposed to be here. The auditoriumâyouâd been so sure. Youâd seen them fall, heard the screams, the countless bodies. Sheâd been there. Hadnât she?
Hadnât she?
âBeth Greene?â you whisper again. Youâre not even sure if itâs a question or a plea.
She moves again, tentative but willing to close the distance. âOh my God,â she mutters. âItâs really is you.â Her fingers brush yours, grounding you to the moment, to her.
Beside you, Hershel clears his throat. âYou two know each other?â
Beth retracts her hand to acknowledge him. âYes, Daddy. Sheââ She glances back at you, taking in the sight. âShe used to teach music at the old college. On Sundays. I used to beg to go.âÂ
 A silence lingers for a moment; you catch Maggie's stare, Carol's intrigue.
 âShe could sing real good,â Beth adds, barely above a whisper.
Her words slam into you like a punch to the gut. You see it nowâher sitting on the edge of the stage, pouring over sheet music in her lap.
Before you can say anything, her eyes are suddenly wide, frantic. They pin you in place. âOh my goodness. Were you there?â
You try not to cringe, to give yourself away. But your silence speaks volumes.
âI think it's time our newest arrival took a shower,â Carol announces, shielding you from the question. âHere.â
 She hands Beth a set of clippers. Theyâre the old kind. You squeezed; they buzzed.
 âYouâre going to have to crop that hair,â she says briskly, gesturing to you. âItâs too matted.â
You shoot her a look. Neither of you exchange any words, but you can tell Carol understands. You're thankful for her redirection. She's definitely good with children.
âNo.â
Beth's voice brings you back to the moment. To the group of people and their prying eyes.
 âIt was pretty,â she says, but it's mainly to herself. âI remember beinâ jealous, it was so long.âÂ
You look down at the tangles hanging over your shoulders, at the filth caked in the strands. You're not precious of it. In fact, you couldnât care less.
 âItâs disgusting,â you counter. âI donât want to turn pâpeople off their food.â
Beth shakes her head, her brows drawing together in protest. âGive me a day,â she says. âIf I canât fix it⌠weâll shave it.â
Your eyes find the clippers in her hand before coming back up to meet her.
âOne day,â she reasserts, her voice soft but firm.
One day. A single tally mark.
You nod.
â
It takes the full day.
Not just an hour or two. No quick fixes or shortcuts. Itâs a full day of prying away the layers of filth that had buried themselves into you over the past three-hundred-and-ninety-seven days.
Youâre sitting beneath her on a wooden chair in the corner of the washroom. The place is damp, steam rising from the water youâve drained three times already. Your body aches from the scrubbingâyouâve lost count of the hoursâand beneath your fingers, the skin feels almost new.
Then there was your hairâŚ
At first, you thought it was futile; the clippers were a far easier alternative. But now, as the last few knots on your head give way under Bethâs patient fingers, you can hardly believe it. Youâd gone through the prison's entire supply of shampoo. Four near-empty bottles now lined the edge of the sink, their contents spent in the battle against the god-knows-what was in your hair.
When youâd muttered an apology for using up so much, Beth had only waved you off. âDonât worry about it,â sheâd said casually. âDaryl and Michonne can find more.â
The thought made you wince; another burden, another thing youâd added to their list. But Beth hadnât seemed bothered in the least. If anything, she worked with more determination, as if thisâyour restorationâwas her personal mission.
But she never overstepped.Â
Besides her odd instructions, âpass me that comb, tell me if it hurts, try not to move,â the two of you barely spoke. Beth had made the effort at first, but your mind was far too loud for her to get a word in edgeways.
When was the last time someone had touched you like this? When was the last time youâd let them? You canât remember. Itâs easier that wayâto keep people at a hatchetâs length. Safer, too.
Yet, here she is. Beth Greene, picking you apart, piece by piece, like sheâs unearthing something sheâs determined to save.
Why?
The question gnaws at you as you sit there, letting her hands work through the last of the tangles. You canât fathom what she sees in you thatâs worth saving: a patchwork of sores and sins, held together by whatever instinct still clings to survival. Even now, youâre barely hanging on.
âWhy werenât you there that day?â you ask her.
The questionâs out before you can stop it. Your heart pounds behind your ribs.Â
âWhat?â
You swallow hard, forcing the words out again. âThat Sunday. Why werenât you there?â
Beth doesnât answer right away. Instead, she resumes her work, her fingers methodical as she begins to braid a lock of hair. âMy daddy wanted me to stay home,â she says eventually. âMaggie was sick, and he thought she needed me more.â
You nod, a hollow kind of relief settling in your chest. If she was there, sheâd be rotting in the auditorium with the others. Those first few days, the faces all seemed to blend togetherâone corpse at a time. Youâd been so sure she was among them.Â
Her voice pulls you back. âIâm glad I wasnât there,â she admits quietly. âBut I hate that you were.â
You donât reply.
âWas it bad?âÂ
You feel tremors picking at your skin as the memories come back to you. The screams. The blood. The bodies piled on that same stage where you used to hold concerts. Your throat tightens. âIt wasâŚâ You pause, searching for a word that could do it justice. Somehow, none feel adequate.Â
A bloodbath? Carnage? Despair?
âHell,â you say finally, barely above a whisper.
This time, Beth stays silent.Â
âWhy are you doing this?â you press. The words come pouring out, circling the drain like four bottles of shampoo.
Itâs been weighing on you the whole day. The girl behind you can barely be called an acquaintance. Sheâs just some kid you saw every other week for a-half-hour when her parentsâlike most folksâlikely needed a break.Â
She has no reason to be here.
Beth stills. You feel her hands rest on your scalp. âBecause I remember what itâs like,â she finally answers. âTo lose everything. To feel like thereâs nothing left of you.â
As she reaches for her comb, you see it again: that scar on her wrist, too perfect and straight to be accidental.
You donât reply, but she doesnât seem to expect you to. âYou might not remember, but my aunt died a few years back,â she says softly; you hear Hershel in her voice. âThe last thing I wanted to do after the funeral was go to that damn music classâsorryâbut my daddy thought itâd be good for me. Couldnât stop crying in the truck.â
You glance at her, something tugging at the edges of your memory.
âI donât know if you did it on purpose,â she lets out a faint laugh, âbut you sang a good song that day. My favourite. Did your best Dolly impression for all us kids.â
Beth ties off your braids with a gentle tug, stepping back to survey her work. âIt brought some life back to me, you know? And I wanted to do the same for you.â
As she circles the wooden stool, coming into your view, you see the sincerity in her eyes. In truth, you could hardly remember it; the image was as foggy as the room in which the two of you stood.
Did you even do it for her? Possibly. Or maybe you were hungover and Jolene just had it coming.
Either way, it had made her smile. And that was enough.
âAlright,â she says, nodding toward the mirror across the room. âLetâs see it.â
You hesitate. Youâre not sure you want to see. Not yet. Itâs just a mirror, you know, but you canât help remembering the reflection you saw yesterday, at the end of the hall in Cell Block D.Â
âGo on,â Beth urges, nudging your shoulder just enough to make you move.
You canât avoid it. You shuffle closer, the tiled floor cool beneath your bare feet. The mirror looms before you, its surface slightly fogged from the lingering steam. For a second, you donât look. You focus on your breathing, on the steady rise and fall of your chest.
Then, slowly, you lift your eyes.
The person staring back at you is familiar.
Your hair is neatly braided. Two long plaits trail down your back, each bound with a simple tie. The scent of lavender clings to you, fresh in contrast to the mould youâd grown used to. And the clothesâborrowed from Bethâfit like they belong to a version of yourself.Â
She watches you, arms crossed, expectant. You catch her gaze in the mirror. âWell?â she asks, one brow arched in challenge.Â
The outfit it nice, simple. The body in it could use some square meals. But overall, it's not bad. Youâre more weedy now, all elbows and knees, but you could grow to accept this.
âItâs me,â you say.
Bethâs reflection joins yours as she sways slightly on the balls of her feet. âYeah,â she agrees. âIt is.â
The image holds you in place, locking you into this moment. Somehow, youâre still here. Not the person you were before, nor the hollow shadow youâve been dragging behind you. Something in between. Someone half-stitched back together, the seams raw but holding.
Beth leans in. âSo, what do you think?â
You glance down at your handsârough but yoursâand when you look back at the mirror, you almost donât recognise the faint curve of your lips.
âItâll do,â you say.
Beth laughs, and for a small moment, you feel itâsomething fitting into place.
â
It's too damn late.
Darylâs boots echo over the metal catwalk, one dull thud after another. Heâd been hunting most of the afternoon, causing a ruckus out there in the woods. But now it's dark, quiet, and he's reminded just how little sleep he's gotten these last few days. How he'd kill to be one of these snoring bastards in the cells next door.
Last night was rough.
He'd cursed you at first, tossing and turning in his bed as he tried to shake the image of you curled up on the floor. At breakfast, too, he could barely stomach you. But as soon as he got out of those gates, into the world and the trees and everything beyond four concrete walls, he felt nothing.
Well, he felt something.
Just not the burning contempt he felt initially when the sun first shone into his eyes. This was different. He'd realised it some hours ago, during the time he spent tracking a deer. It was a small thing, barely enough to feed the kids, but once Daryl had it at end of his arrow, wide-eyed and frantic, he couldn't bring himself to shoot it.
 It's the first time he'd come back empty-handed from a hunt.
That stupid look on it's face reminded him of you.
Rick had filled him in earlier, told him that you were looking... different. Better, heâd said. Like some semblance of a woman now, instead of the half-dead thing Glenn had brought back from the brink.
Daryl doesn't know what he expected, but as he passes your cellâstill illuminated by candle lightâhe's surprised by how much that change has settled in.
You don't notice him, which gives Daryl time to survey you from afar; he knows better than to cross the threshold. You're sitting near the door, back straight, eyes wide, not a hint of sleep on you. No blankets, no coversâjust you, focused on something in your lap.
You're wearing Beth's clothes, they fit better than Glenn's, and long, twin braids fall down your back. But the biggest change is your face, warm in the candle lightâ
It's less biting now.
Daryl almost doesnât know what to say. No quips come to him, no bitterness held from the night before. Instead, he speaks honestly, âYa look better.â He shifts on his feet, then adds, âSmell better, too.âÂ
A huff of dry air escapes him. Lavender. Thatâs new.
âYou have Beth to thank,â you respond, without missing a beat.
Daryl blinks, thrown off by the reply. You knew he was there, and your stutter... Itâs gone.
He should leave, he thinks.
But instead, he watches you fiddle with that fabricâsewing, he realisesâand takes in the way your fingers work the needle. He knows nothing of the stitch youâre weaving; heâs more concerned by the fact your hands have finally stopped shaking. It's a kind of concentration, the same way he focuses when he hunts. Steady and unbroken.Â
âYa know,â he says after a long pause, ââM pretty sure whatever thaâ is can wait.â He gestures at the remnants of a shirt in your lap. âYa should get some sleep.â
His words are meaningless; you donât even look up. But when you shake your head, it's with certainty. âIf I do, you wonât.â
Daryl scowls. The memory of earlierâof how you looked trembling in the darkâflashes in his mind.
âIâm sorry,â you add. Then, using your sewing needle, you to draw a line in the air across your throat.
Daryl wouldâve laughed at that, usually. But not from you. He doesnât know you like that. Hell, heâs still not sure you wonât decapitate him the next chance you get. âQuit sayinâ sorry,â he says instead, more sharply than he meant to.
âSorââ You catch yourself. âIt wonât happen again,â you finish.Â
And it canât, Daryl thinks. Heâs made damn sure of that. Rickâs got that thing reserved for firewood onlyâa duty heâll make sure youâll never have.
But he doesn't tell you that, so instead the moment stretches out, the soft scrape of your needle stitching through fabric. He should really leave now. Yet, his tired eyes catch something on the cell wall across from him, pinning him in place.
One faint, vertical line, followed by chicken-scratch words he struggles to decipher:
Loony BinÂ
His eyes flicker over them before snapping back to you. Heâd only said it onceâmuttered it under his breath at breakfastâbut he had a feeling youâd heard. If not, youâd surely felt it in his stare.
He swallows thick. âYa best be careful,â he says, trying to think of somethingâanything that comes to mind. He tries a joke. âA head ainât something ya can just sew back on.â
The laugh that follows catches him off guard. A dry sound, but genuine. It cuts through the tension like scissors through silk, and seems to surprise you, too.
Daryl clears his throat. âGet some sleep for real,â he says, stepping back from the door. He tries to sound like heâs giving an order, but it comes out more like a suggestion. âTomorrow, Rick wants ya to learn âbout this place. How we all keep it runninâ.â
Heâs not sure what the hell youâll be doing; he canât imagine you playing well with others. Maybe watch duty. Something distant. Something thatâll keep you out of the way.
But then, before he can leave, he tests his luck. âYou know how to shoot?â he asks. Tiredness is thick in his voice. âCould use more eyes on them walls.â
You pause, and for a moment, Daryl thinks heâs gone too far. Heâs half-joking, but thereâs something about you that makes him feel like a kid again. A kid too stupid for his own good, who wants to push, prod, and only find out where the line is once he's crossed it.
You look up. Daryl catches the flash of something in your eyesâdefiance, maybe. Itâs gone as quick as it surfaces. âNo,â you say, quietly. âI canât.â
Darylâs shrug is automatic. He hadnât expected you to say yes, wouldnât trust you if you did. âMm. Aâright.âÂ
He leaves without a goodbye, halfway to his cell before he hears it. That flicker of a voice calling out to him:
âBut Iâm pretty good with a hatchet.â
A/N This chapter was bloody massive. I deliberated on the structure for ages, but I felt each part was necessary to paint the picture I'm going for.
In all honesty, I was a little worried you guys would think ''there's not enough Daryl'' and considered interjecting more of him. But at this stage, it's just not realistic. It doesn't feel natural.
I want each of their interactions to mean sometime, so please be patient with me as I set them up. And let me know your thoughts -do you appreciate this style? The relationships she's building with others? I'm keen to know :)
As always, thanks for reading! x
am completely in love with this history between beth and reader and the way Beth has taken it upon herself to try to heal the baby bird đđĽšđ¤ such beautiful moments between them
Summary:Â Three-hundred-and-ninety-six days after the outbreak, you are discovered in an abandoned community college, covered in filth and barely able to speak a word. Despite the showers (multiple) and rehabilitation attempts (also multiple), it's apparent that your mind is elsewhere. Beyond saving.
This new world is chaos, but you're lucky to find good people in it. Moreso than any is a man named Daryl, who is patient enough to let you put yourself back togetherâone stitch at a time.
Summary: Three-hundred-and-ninety-six days after the outbreak, you are discovered in an abandoned community college, covered in filth and barely able to speak a word. Despite the showers (multiple) and rehabilitation attempts (also multiple), it's apparent that your mind is elsewhere. Beyond saving.
This new world is chaos, but you're lucky to find good people in it. More so than any is a man named Daryl, patient enough to let you put yourself back togetherâone stitch at a time.
The medical bay smells faintly of antiseptic. You sit stiff on the edge of an examination table, a paper sheet crinkling under your jeans; you try not to rip it as you readjust. Before you, the doctorâformer vet, as he correctedârifles through supplies with practiced care.
âAny trouble sleeping?âÂ
The question weighs heavy on your chest. From anyone else, it would sting, but Hershelâs tone isnât discriminatory. He has no knowledge of last nightâwasnât there at breakfast, either. He didnât notice the faces too tired to hide their disdain for you. To him, youâre just another patient.Â
Itâs ironic. The vet is the first person here not to look at you like an animal.
âSome,â you reply, after a moment.
Itâs a lie, of course. A big fat one.Â
Back at the college, sleep was a thing that took you only when it was lucky. Even then, it was never peaceful. It was something stolen in fits and starts as you held the door shut from whatever lurked on the other side. Here, those nights still haunt you.Â
âJust a new place,â you add. âIâll gâget used to it.âÂ
Hershel doesnât press. Whether he believes you or not, he drops the subject for now, opting instead to examine your hands. You flinch at first, instinct pulling you back. But the warmth in his old fingers seeps through your skin, coaxing you to unclench your palms.
He studies the callouses lining them: the handiwork of your hatchet.Â
You feel dismembered without it.Â
After the last three-hundred-and-ninety-seven days, you could hardly remember a time you before it. It had been with you since the outbreak. Ever since you smashed that glass box near the fire escape, in search of anything to defend yourself.Â
Youâd been near catatonic when Rick had pried it from your hands the night before. âThere are children here,â heâd reasoned, conjuring an image of a boy in a Sheriffâs hatâtoo curious for his own good.Â
You couldnât bring yourself to refute him; youâd nearly taken the heads of two of his group already. Even now, Darylâs expression still burns behind your eyes, not particularly angry nor pitiful. Just sort of⌠Disappointed?Â
Somehow that was worse.
âYouâre a lucky one, my dear,â Hershel notes, his thumbs brushing over the rough patches between your fingers. âTo be in this condition⌠Itâs nothing short of miraculous.âÂ
You raise a brow, trying to discern any humour in his words. What about you could possibly be lucky?Â
âBesides the malnourishment and sores,â Hershel continues, his smile so genuine you almost donât believe it, âyouâre healthy.â
Healthy. The word sounds foreign. Impossible. You canât be healthyânot in the head, at least.
You say nothing, choosing only to watch as Hershel pulls a small jar from his medical kit. He unscrews the lid to reveal a pungent salve. As he spreads it over your hands, the sting is sharp, bitingâbut like everything else these days, it fades quickly into nothingness.
âIâd suggest bone broth for the first couple of meals. Meat will be too rich,â he says, matter-of-factly.
Grimacing, you nod; youâd already discovered that.Â
But as Hershel works, you canât help but notice the kindness in his actions. He applies the salve with gentle ministrations, retreating out of your space as soon as heâs done. Itâs refreshing. Thereâs something about him that calms you. Whether itâs the crinkles of his eyes, or the way he rounds his sentences, it has you speaking before the words have even taken shape in your head.Â
âHershel?âÂ
His gaze flickers to yours.
âWhat do you know aboutâŚâ You hesitate, swallowing hard. âThe mâmind? Can you fix it?â
His expression softens, though the weight of his answer is clear before he speaks. âUnfortunately, thatâs one of the toughest things to mend,â he says. âTakes time. Patience.â
How many days? you want to ask, but your better judgement cautions against it. Thatâs not the right question. This isnât something that can be measured by tally marks on a wall.Â
âWhere do I start?â you ask instead.
Thereâs a pause. Hershel chooses his next words with care. âA good nightâs sleep,â he says. âThen ten. Then fifty.â
You try not to let his answer deflate you.
Does he know you can barely manage one?
âThose tremors, too,â Hershel leans back slightly, considering you, âTheyâre no good. Have you burning through energy quicker than you can replenish it.âÂ
He takes a second to deliberate, pawing at the white hairs of his beard. Then, something flashes behind his eyesâa recollection. An idea. âYou know what they used to suggest to old war vets?â
You keep quiet, waiting.
âRepetitive action,â he explains. âSomething you can do without thinking.â
His raised brow prompts for an answer.
 âGuitar.â
It comes to you immediately, dredged up from another life. Free classes at the college, teaching music to a bunch of ragtags dumped by their parents after church. You never loved itâit was just something to do.
Hershel chuckles softly. âHavenât seen many of those around these parts, Iâm afraid. What about something a little more⌠accessible? Sketching, knittingââ
âI can sew,â you interrupt.
The admission feels small but significant. It was your motherâs trade, just poor seamstress trying to make ends meet. Sheâd only passed down two things to you when she died: her needlework and her debt.Â
âThatâll be handy,â Hershel replies.
He makes no show of it, but you catch him reaching over to open the drawer beside him. After some calculated rummaging, his hand emerges with a biscuit tinâan odd find amongst prescription bottles and bandages. As he pops the lid open, youâre met with a familiar sight: a sewing kit filled with buttons, thread, and patches of mismatched cloth.
Hershel locks eyes with you before speaking, âThis is what I want you to do. Each time you thread this needle, visualise yourself letting go of whatever it is thatâs holding onto you.â He places it into your palm; itâs a little rusted, but youâve seen worse. âI want you to practice itâeach stitch, mending those parts you want to fix.â
You glance between him and the needle, trying to process his words.
âIf you ever feel like youâre losing controlâwhich you willâI want you to imagine you are here. Threading the needle. Safe, focused.â
Before you can reply, Hershel plucks it from you, dropping it back into the small biscuit tin for safe keeping. With the lid secured, he gestures for you to put it in your pocket.
âBut first, you need to clean yourself up. You might not be sick now, but staying covered in filth,â he says, taking a pause to look you up and down, âitâs only a matter of time.âÂ
You find yourself agreeing.
Itâs strange, you think. In this moment, the old man could tell you anythingâto stick your hand in flames or jump from a tall buildingâand you fear you would. Itâs a dangerous countenance he has. One that instills trust.Â
You don't argue when Hershel offers to walk you back through the winding corridors to Cell Block D. His gait makes you feel a little guiltyâhe's missing a leg, after allâbut your appreciation for his presence outweighs it.
As you pass by the windows overlooking the courtyard, the air carries the faint smell of damp concrete, rusted metal, and peopleâtoo many people, their voices filtering in with the breeze. You prepare yourself to face their scrutiny. The nicknames they thought you didnât notice:
Loony BinÂ
You had keen ears, and that one was loud.
In an obvious attempt at distraction, Hershel begins to tell you about his daughters. âYouâll like Maggie,â he says, a faint smile in his voice. âSheâs strongâheadstrong, sometimesâjust like her mother. And youâve already met her husband.â He notes the confusion on your face before adding, âGlenn.â
Your steps falter. Glenn. The realisation sinks in slowly as you draw the thread between them all. Hershelâs warmth, the glimmer of trust in his eyesâit wasnât random. He had Maggieâs smile, Glennâs optimism.
And youâd almost killed his son-in-law.Â
âThough he might be off on some errand,â Hershel continues, oblivious to the tangle of thoughts in your mind. âThat boy never sits still.â
He then chuckles softly, like heâs sharing an inside joke. It does little to calm your nerves.
By the time you reach the entryway to Cell Block D, youâre already on edge. The low hum of voices carries through the open door, a stark contrast to the relative quiet of the medical bay. You spot a small group gathered near the common areaâa brother-sister duo whose names youâve already forgotten, Carol, Maggie, and a young woman you canât quite place.Â
âOne of my girls will show you to the washroom,â Hershel announces, nodding towards the brunette in the corner. She offers a polite smile but seems less than thrilled at the prospect. âAnd this is my youngestââ
âBeth?âÂ
The name tears out of you before Hershel even finishes.
Across from you, she stands motionless. Unaware. Thereâs a good ten years between youâat leastâbut her face, though older and sharper, holds the same softness you remembered. You still see her as the kid who played piano, sang shy and did good.
Beth Greene. Youâre certain itâs her, recognised her from the recesses of your memory. Sweet, quiet Beth. Alive.
But she canât be realâcan she?
Her face is full of confusion at first. But that disappears the moment she takes a step forward, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. âSweet Jesus,â she breathes, âIs that really you? What happened?â
You chew over the question: what happened?
What didnât? The answers feel too jagged, too large to fit into words. Your mind is racing, unraveling. Sheâs not supposed to be here. The auditoriumâyouâd been so sure. Youâd seen them fall, heard the screams, the countless bodies. Sheâd been there. Hadnât she?
Hadnât she?
âBeth Greene?â you whisper again. Youâre not even sure if itâs a question or a plea.
She moves again, tentative but willing to close the distance. âOh my God,â she mutters. âItâs really is you.â Her fingers brush yours, grounding you to the moment, to her.
Beside you, Hershel clears his throat. âYou two know each other?â
Beth retracts her hand to acknowledge him. âYes, Daddy. Sheââ She glances back at you, taking in the sight. âShe used to teach music at the old college. On Sundays. I used to beg to go.âÂ
 A silence lingers for a moment; you catch Maggie's stare, Carol's intrigue.
 âShe could sing real good,â Beth adds, barely above a whisper.
Her words slam into you like a punch to the gut. You see it nowâher sitting on the edge of the stage, pouring over sheet music in her lap.
Before you can say anything, her eyes are suddenly wide, frantic. They pin you in place. âOh my goodness. Were you there?â
You try not to cringe, to give yourself away. But your silence speaks volumes.
âI think it's time our newest arrival took a shower,â Carol announces, shielding you from the question. âHere.â
 She hands Beth a set of clippers. Theyâre the old kind. You squeezed; they buzzed.
 âYouâre going to have to crop that hair,â she says briskly, gesturing to you. âItâs too matted.â
You shoot her a look. Neither of you exchange any words, but you can tell Carol understands. You're thankful for her redirection. She's definitely good with children.
âNo.â
Beth's voice brings you back to the moment. To the group of people and their prying eyes.
 âIt was pretty,â she says, but it's mainly to herself. âI remember beinâ jealous, it was so long.âÂ
You look down at the tangles hanging over your shoulders, at the filth caked in the strands. You're not precious of it. In fact, you couldnât care less.
 âItâs disgusting,â you counter. âI donât want to turn pâpeople off their food.â
Beth shakes her head, her brows drawing together in protest. âGive me a day,â she says. âIf I canât fix it⌠weâll shave it.â
Your eyes find the clippers in her hand before coming back up to meet her.
âOne day,â she reasserts, her voice soft but firm.
One day. A single tally mark.
You nod.
â
It takes the full day.
Not just an hour or two. No quick fixes or shortcuts. Itâs a full day of prying away the layers of filth that had buried themselves into you over the past three-hundred-and-ninety-seven days.
Youâre sitting beneath her on a wooden chair in the corner of the washroom. The place is damp, steam rising from the water youâve drained three times already. Your body aches from the scrubbingâyouâve lost count of the hoursâand beneath your fingers, the skin feels almost new.
Then there was your hairâŚ
At first, you thought it was futile; the clippers were a far easier alternative. But now, as the last few knots on your head give way under Bethâs patient fingers, you can hardly believe it. Youâd gone through the prison's entire supply of shampoo. Four near-empty bottles now lined the edge of the sink, their contents spent in the battle against the god-knows-what was in your hair.
When youâd muttered an apology for using up so much, Beth had only waved you off. âDonât worry about it,â sheâd said casually. âDaryl and Michonne can find more.â
The thought made you wince; another burden, another thing youâd added to their list. But Beth hadnât seemed bothered in the least. If anything, she worked with more determination, as if thisâyour restorationâwas her personal mission.
But she never overstepped.Â
Besides her odd instructions, âpass me that comb, tell me if it hurts, try not to move,â the two of you barely spoke. Beth had made the effort at first, but your mind was far too loud for her to get a word in edgeways.
When was the last time someone had touched you like this? When was the last time youâd let them? You canât remember. Itâs easier that wayâto keep people at a hatchetâs length. Safer, too.
Yet, here she is. Beth Greene, picking you apart, piece by piece, like sheâs unearthing something sheâs determined to save.
Why?
The question gnaws at you as you sit there, letting her hands work through the last of the tangles. You canât fathom what she sees in you thatâs worth saving: a patchwork of sores and sins, held together by whatever instinct still clings to survival. Even now, youâre barely hanging on.
âWhy werenât you there that day?â you ask her.
The questionâs out before you can stop it. Your heart pounds behind your ribs.Â
âWhat?â
You swallow hard, forcing the words out again. âThat Sunday. Why werenât you there?â
Beth doesnât answer right away. Instead, she resumes her work, her fingers methodical as she begins to braid a lock of hair. âMy daddy wanted me to stay home,â she says eventually. âMaggie was sick, and he thought she needed me more.â
You nod, a hollow kind of relief settling in your chest. If she was there, sheâd be rotting in the auditorium with the others. Those first few days, the faces all seemed to blend togetherâone corpse at a time. Youâd been so sure she was among them.Â
Her voice pulls you back. âIâm glad I wasnât there,â she admits quietly. âBut I hate that you were.â
You donât reply.
âWas it bad?âÂ
You feel tremors picking at your skin as the memories come back to you. The screams. The blood. The bodies piled on that same stage where you used to hold concerts. Your throat tightens. âIt wasâŚâ You pause, searching for a word that could do it justice. Somehow, none feel adequate.Â
A bloodbath? Carnage? Despair?
âHell,â you say finally, barely above a whisper.
This time, Beth stays silent.Â
âWhy are you doing this?â you press. The words come pouring out, circling the drain like four bottles of shampoo.
Itâs been weighing on you the whole day. The girl behind you can barely be called an acquaintance. Sheâs just some kid you saw every other week for a-half-hour when her parentsâlike most folksâlikely needed a break.Â
She has no reason to be here.
Beth stills. You feel her hands rest on your scalp. âBecause I remember what itâs like,â she finally answers. âTo lose everything. To feel like thereâs nothing left of you.â
As she reaches for her comb, you see it again: that scar on her wrist, too perfect and straight to be accidental.
You donât reply, but she doesnât seem to expect you to. âYou might not remember, but my aunt died a few years back,â she says softly; you hear Hershel in her voice. âThe last thing I wanted to do after the funeral was go to that damn music classâsorryâbut my daddy thought itâd be good for me. Couldnât stop crying in the truck.â
You glance at her, something tugging at the edges of your memory.
âI donât know if you did it on purpose,â she lets out a faint laugh, âbut you sang a good song that day. My favourite. Did your best Dolly impression for all us kids.â
Beth ties off your braids with a gentle tug, stepping back to survey her work. âIt brought some life back to me, you know? And I wanted to do the same for you.â
As she circles the wooden stool, coming into your view, you see the sincerity in her eyes. In truth, you could hardly remember it; the image was as foggy as the room in which the two of you stood.
Did you even do it for her? Possibly. Or maybe you were hungover and Jolene just had it coming.
Either way, it had made her smile. And that was enough.
âAlright,â she says, nodding toward the mirror across the room. âLetâs see it.â
You hesitate. Youâre not sure you want to see. Not yet. Itâs just a mirror, you know, but you canât help remembering the reflection you saw yesterday, at the end of the hall in Cell Block D.Â
âGo on,â Beth urges, nudging your shoulder just enough to make you move.
You canât avoid it. You shuffle closer, the tiled floor cool beneath your bare feet. The mirror looms before you, its surface slightly fogged from the lingering steam. For a second, you donât look. You focus on your breathing, on the steady rise and fall of your chest.
Then, slowly, you lift your eyes.
The person staring back at you is familiar.
Your hair is neatly braided. Two long plaits trail down your back, each bound with a simple tie. The scent of lavender clings to you, fresh in contrast to the mould youâd grown used to. And the clothesâborrowed from Bethâfit like they belong to a version of yourself.Â
She watches you, arms crossed, expectant. You catch her gaze in the mirror. âWell?â she asks, one brow arched in challenge.Â
The outfit it nice, simple. The body in it could use some square meals. But overall, it's not bad. Youâre more weedy now, all elbows and knees, but you could grow to accept this.
âItâs me,â you say.
Bethâs reflection joins yours as she sways slightly on the balls of her feet. âYeah,â she agrees. âIt is.â
The image holds you in place, locking you into this moment. Somehow, youâre still here. Not the person you were before, nor the hollow shadow youâve been dragging behind you. Something in between. Someone half-stitched back together, the seams raw but holding.
Beth leans in. âSo, what do you think?â
You glance down at your handsârough but yoursâand when you look back at the mirror, you almost donât recognise the faint curve of your lips.
âItâll do,â you say.
Beth laughs, and for a small moment, you feel itâsomething fitting into place.
â
It's too damn late.
Darylâs boots echo over the metal catwalk, one dull thud after another. Heâd been hunting most of the afternoon, causing a ruckus out there in the woods. But now it's dark, quiet, and he's reminded just how little sleep he's gotten these last few days. How he'd kill to be one of these snoring bastards in the cells next door.
Last night was rough.
He'd cursed you at first, tossing and turning in his bed as he tried to shake the image of you curled up on the floor. At breakfast, too, he could barely stomach you. But as soon as he got out of those gates, into the world and the trees and everything beyond four concrete walls, he felt nothing.
Well, he felt something.
Just not the burning contempt he felt initially when the sun first shone into his eyes. This was different. He'd realised it some hours ago, during the time he spent tracking a deer. It was a small thing, barely enough to feed the kids, but once Daryl had it at end of his arrow, wide-eyed and frantic, he couldn't bring himself to shoot it.
 It's the first time he'd come back empty-handed from a hunt.
That stupid look on it's face reminded him of you.
Rick had filled him in earlier, told him that you were looking... different. Better, heâd said. Like some semblance of a woman now, instead of the half-dead thing Glenn had brought back from the brink.
Daryl doesn't know what he expected, but as he passes your cellâstill illuminated by candle lightâhe's surprised by how much that change has settled in.
You don't notice him, which gives Daryl time to survey you from afar; he knows better than to cross the threshold. You're sitting near the door, back straight, eyes wide, not a hint of sleep on you. No blankets, no coversâjust you, focused on something in your lap.
You're wearing Beth's clothes, they fit better than Glenn's, and long, twin braids fall down your back. But the biggest change is your face, warm in the candle lightâ
It's less biting now.
Daryl almost doesnât know what to say. No quips come to him, no bitterness held from the night before. Instead, he speaks honestly, âYa look better.â He shifts on his feet, then adds, âSmell better, too.âÂ
A huff of dry air escapes him. Lavender. Thatâs new.
âYou have Beth to thank,â you respond, without missing a beat.
Daryl blinks, thrown off by the reply. You knew he was there, and your stutter... Itâs gone.
He should leave, he thinks.
But instead, he watches you fiddle with that fabricâsewing, he realisesâand takes in the way your fingers work the needle. He knows nothing of the stitch youâre weaving; heâs more concerned by the fact your hands have finally stopped shaking. It's a kind of concentration, the same way he focuses when he hunts. Steady and unbroken.Â
âYa know,â he says after a long pause, ââM pretty sure whatever thaâ is can wait.â He gestures at the remnants of a shirt in your lap. âYa should get some sleep.â
His words are meaningless; you donât even look up. But when you shake your head, it's with certainty. âIf I do, you wonât.â
Daryl scowls. The memory of earlierâof how you looked trembling in the darkâflashes in his mind.
âIâm sorry,â you add. Then, using your sewing needle, you to draw a line in the air across your throat.
Daryl wouldâve laughed at that, usually. But not from you. He doesnât know you like that. Hell, heâs still not sure you wonât decapitate him the next chance you get. âQuit sayinâ sorry,â he says instead, more sharply than he meant to.
âSorââ You catch yourself. âIt wonât happen again,â you finish.Â
And it canât, Daryl thinks. Heâs made damn sure of that. Rickâs got that thing reserved for firewood onlyâa duty heâll make sure youâll never have.
But he doesn't tell you that, so instead the moment stretches out, the soft scrape of your needle stitching through fabric. He should really leave now. Yet, his tired eyes catch something on the cell wall across from him, pinning him in place.
One faint, vertical line, followed by chicken-scratch words he struggles to decipher:
Loony BinÂ
His eyes flicker over them before snapping back to you. Heâd only said it onceâmuttered it under his breath at breakfastâbut he had a feeling youâd heard. If not, youâd surely felt it in his stare.
He swallows thick. âYa best be careful,â he says, trying to think of somethingâanything that comes to mind. He tries a joke. âA head ainât something ya can just sew back on.â
The laugh that follows catches him off guard. A dry sound, but genuine. It cuts through the tension like scissors through silk, and seems to surprise you, too.
Daryl clears his throat. âGet some sleep for real,â he says, stepping back from the door. He tries to sound like heâs giving an order, but it comes out more like a suggestion. âTomorrow, Rick wants ya to learn âbout this place. How we all keep it runninâ.â
Heâs not sure what the hell youâll be doing; he canât imagine you playing well with others. Maybe watch duty. Something distant. Something thatâll keep you out of the way.
But then, before he can leave, he tests his luck. âYou know how to shoot?â he asks. Tiredness is thick in his voice. âCould use more eyes on them walls.â
You pause, and for a moment, Daryl thinks heâs gone too far. Heâs half-joking, but thereâs something about you that makes him feel like a kid again. A kid too stupid for his own good, who wants to push, prod, and only find out where the line is once he's crossed it.
You look up. Daryl catches the flash of something in your eyesâdefiance, maybe. Itâs gone as quick as it surfaces. âNo,â you say, quietly. âI canât.â
Darylâs shrug is automatic. He hadnât expected you to say yes, wouldnât trust you if you did. âMm. Aâright.âÂ
He leaves without a goodbye, halfway to his cell before he hears it. That flicker of a voice calling out to him:
âBut Iâm pretty good with a hatchet.â
A/N This chapter was bloody massive. I deliberated on the structure for ages, but I felt each part was necessary to paint the picture I'm going for.
In all honesty, I was a little worried you guys would think ''there's not enough Daryl'' and considered interjecting more of him. But at this stage, it's just not realistic. It doesn't feel natural.
I want each of their interactions to mean sometime, so please be patient with me as I set them up. And let me know your thoughts -do you appreciate this style? The relationships she's building with others? I'm keen to know :)
As always, thanks for reading! x
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I'm currently writing The Ties That Mend chapter 3 (sad life, right) đ
I'd planned on getting it done earlier but I think it's going to end up a massive chapter - sorry not sorry - so you can expect it in the next couple of days đŤś
im loving the details on the story too like the hygiene and really long hair ! it makes everything more real and even better
Yesss tysm! I'm really aiming for detail in this one and realism. So that's why it's going to take a bit longer to get going (and I hope people don't mind the wait) đ
is not even funny the amount of times i check your account for updates on ties that mend anymore âŚ
so excited for the next chapters! no rushing of course but do you have a writing / posting schedule? xoxo
Hiya!! Thank you so much, that's so sweet đĽš
In all honesty, I don't have much of a schedule - I just try to write when I'm motivated. I've been aiming for 1 chapter a week so we'll see how that goes haha. I'm trying to plan chapter 3 rn but struggling as there's so much I want to fit in there đ
Hopefully I'll get it out during the week for you all. Thanks again for reading x
Summary: Three-hundred-and-ninety-six days after the outbreak, you are discovered in an abandoned community college, covered in filth and barely able to speak a word. Despite the showers (multiple) and rehabilitation attempts (also multiple), it's apparent that your mind is elsewhere. Beyond saving.
This new world is chaos, but you're lucky to find good people in it. More so than any is a man named Daryl, patient enough to let you put yourself back togetherâone stitch at a time.
Daryl had seen eyes like that only a few times before.
The first, heâd been seven-years-old, roaming the streets of Northern Georgia with his no-good brother. Their parents never did care a ratâs ass about where they ended up, and this time, theyâd found themselves in the bad part of town. The epicentre of trouble.Â
Merle had been hanging around some older boys back then, the type who got off on taunting his kid brother. Sneak up on the local kook, theyâd told him. Itâd be funny; heâd be a chicken if he didnât. So Darylâfilled with a newfound sense of bravadoâagreed, and dumped his can of orange Crush over some man too cracked out to notice.
Until he did.
The way the guyâs eyes popped openâbloodshot, bulgingâwas burned into Darylâs memory. Even now, thirty-some years later, he could recount them in astounding detail. They were the same shell-shocked eyes as those nasty bastards his daddy used to hang about. The ones hardened by their daddies and so on.Â
They were eyes Daryl saw far more often these days. Came across them in the fleeting glances of their ragtag communityâfrom the stragglers of Woodberry to the drifters that had no place else in the world. After a few weeks of decent meals, sleep, and a safe place to shit, most of them lost that look. Replaced it with all sorts of stuff he didnât really care for.
But most recently, Daryl had found it again, stamped onto the face of Glennâs newest rescue. Whilst heâd pitied you at first, shaking like a newborn gazelle on Carolâs arm, that pity quickly morphed into something colder.
Catching your eyes, Daryl suddenly felt seven-years-old again. It wasnât a passing thing, that look, nor did it mask something deeper. It was simply a fixture of your face. The result of whatever shit storm youâd endured.
Even with all the time in the world, Daryl wasnât sure youâd ever shake it.
âMan, Iâm telling you. Shit felt like The ShiningââÂ
A voice drags Daryl back into the room. Around him, a group had gathered in their usual corner, chairs pulled together in a circle. Bob has the floor, soaking in the attention as he recounts an abridged version of the dayâs events.Â
Heâs new, too, and Daryl hadnât taken to him yet.Â
ââGlenn will tell you. Suddenly, sheâs staring at us with those big bug eyes,â Bob goes on, bringing his pointer fingers to his face. âKept getting wider by the second.â
Across from him, Glenn shifts uncomfortably. âIt wasnât that bad,â he retorts. âSheâs not deranged just because she doesn't blink much.â
Daryl feels himself scowl. Heâs got his back against the stone, arms crossed as he watches the exchange. He doesnât usually involve himself in these little powwows, but something about this one is wearing his patience thin.
âFifteen times,â he gruffs. Eyes turn to him as he pushes off the wall. âThaâs how much most folks blink in a minuteâfifteen.âÂ
Daryl moves in closer, stopping just short of the circle before shaking his head. âShe blinked once in three.â
The chatter is replaced by silence, thick and uneasy.
âIâve seen people like that,â Bob says after a moment. His voice is more subdued now, like he's been grounded back to that floor and not the pedestal he'd been put on. âUsually, itâs on their way back from war.â
The words hit hard. For once, Daryl finds himself agreeing. There was something about you, something off that made him feel like a kid again, standing in the shadow of a strangerâs unpredictability. He crosses his arms over his chest. âWhaâever shit went down there,â he says, âya can bet yer ass it werenât pretty.â
âIt wasnât,â Glenn confirms.
His tone leaves no room for elaboration.Â
At the other side of the room, Rick, whoâlike Darylâhad been doing his utmost to not get involved, straightens. âGlenn, brother,â he starts, âI know you mean well, but do you think sheâsââÂ
Rick doesnât say it, but Daryl can hear it in the silence. They all can.
Beyond saving.
Carol clears her throat. âA bit of a feral cat,â she adds, after a beat.Â
Itâs a poor attempt to lighten the mood; no one laughs. Least amused is Glenn, who rakes a hand through his hair before letting out a hefty sigh. âWhat was I meant to do, just leave her there?âÂ
He doesnât aim the question, but the lack of response only urges him on.
âYou didnât see itâthat place was hell.â His voice tightens, the dayâs frustrations bleeding through. âNot everyoneâs lucky enough to have someone to pull them out of it. That couldâve been me, or you, or any one of us.â
The group slinks back as Glenn gestures around, trying not to let themselves land at the end of his pointer finger.Â
Michonneâwhoâs been sitting quietly at the edge of the group until nowâfinally speaks. âGive her time,â she says simply. Her words are directed at no one in particular, but carry the kind of weight that canât be disputed.
Daryl glances at her, and for a brief moment, their eyes meet.Â
Heâs come to appreciate Michonne; her short replies made life easier in the months theyâd spent tracking the Governor. She never wasted breath on stuff that didnât matter.
She has a point now, too. You hadnât been here longâa couple hours at most. Hell, Daryl had taken longer naps. And itâs not like you were going anywhere. Not on those weak knees.Â
For the time being, Cell Block D was the best place for you. It was the only one still needing repairs, a little dingy and a whole lot of space, which worked out fine. You likely wouldnât cope well in the ones filled with people.
Thatâs why Daryl slept in Block D, too.
In the minutes that follow, an air of deliberation settles over the group. Itâs an uncomfortable sort of quiet, with everyone seeming to retreat into their own thoughts. Daryl considers leaving; heâs got plenty to be getting on with. In truth, heâs not sure how he ended up here in the first place. But before he can make it across the room, he crosses paths with Maggie, coming in like a storm through the main entrance.
She looks dishevelled: her shoulders rounded and tiredness evident in the contours of her face. Sidestepping Daryl, she picks out Rick in the crowd. She shakes her head at him. âThat pregnant lady in Block E is having trouble again,â she says, âMy daddyâs gonna keep an eye on her tonight. Beth too.â
She takes a moment to flatten her hair, willing the stray strands into submission.
âTheyâll come see the new girl in the morning,â she explains. Then, with a sidelong glance toward Glenn, asks, âWhatâd you call her againâloony bin?â
Glenn cringes. He reiterates your name, which heâd likely pried from you earlier in the truck.Â
The sound of it takes Daryl by surprise. Itâs a pretty nameâone heâd never pin to you. He almost wonders if hearing it can give him a glimpse into your past, at the person you used to be. But then again, not everyone suits their name. Perhaps you never had.
âWellâŚâ says Rick, more decisive now, âletâs get âer to eat in the meantime.â He stands to dust off his jeans. âOr clean up.â
Thereâs a collective murmur of agreement, and almost immediately, the group starts to disperse. Darylâs first to move, but Carol catches his arm before he can make it out the door.
He throws an annoyed glance back at her.
There's an apron tied around her waist; Michonne had brought it back from some tacky gift shop theyâd raided not long ago. The fabric was already stainedâthe pattern made dull from hard work. Carol was on cooking duty again; Daryl knew because he unintentionally looked forward to those days.Â
âAny chance you could get something for her?â she asks, gesturing to the crossbow over his back. âFresh?â
Thereâs hesitation in her voice, her lips pressed together like sheâs bracing for something.
Daryl raises an eyebrow. âSure. Ya want ribeye or sirloin?â
Carol bats him lightly across the shoulder. Then she offers him a small smileâone that doesnât quite reach her eyes.Â
Daryl dislikes it.
âSheâs just so skinny,â she eventually says. That teasing tone heâd grown to expect is gone now, replaced by something more serious. âI lifted her, andâwell, it was like lifting Sophia.â
The name lands like a stone. Daryl stills, his jaw setting.Â
âIâll find something,â he mutters.
Carol nods, sending him off with a small âthank youâ.Â
Daryl readies his crossbow and hunting gear before heading out into the yard. Itâs bustling, as it always is these daysâchildren weaving around him, adults trying to strike up conversation. He shuts them down with a look that says he could care less for chit-chat right now. Thereâs too many of them for him to handle.
Already got another damn mouth to feed.
He has half a mind to turn around, but Carolâs words propel him forward, clinging to the back of his mind like burrs.
He'll find something.
â
The cropped-haired woman comes to collect you at dinner.Â
She tells you her name is Carol, and that she has something special prepared for you. Her tone is light, airing on excitement as she helps you along the metal catwalk and down the stairs. Itâs an easy, practiced motionâher arm brushing against yours. But with each stroke, you feel it: that itch in your chest.Â
Youâve never been fond of surprises. In fact, you hated them. The uncertainty, the lack of control, the unfamiliarity of this place⌠Every step tightens the grip around your lungs.
Breathe, you remind yourself. In. Out.
Carol notices the shift in your demeanor, must feel it in the stiffness of your shoulders. So she opts for distraction. As the two of you walk arm-in-arm, she attempts to fill the space between you with reassuranceâeven if it doesnât quite reach you.Â
She details life at the prisonâeverything theyâve worked towards in the last few monthsâand the other refugees who now called this place home. There's a semblance of stability behind her eyes as she recounts it all. âWeâve come a long way,â she says. âItâs been hard, but weâre getting there. Youâll see.âÂ
You want to believe it; you almost do. But talk of warm-water showers, birthday celebrations, and even tending to livestock leaves you doubtful. Itâs too reminiscent of life before everything fell apart.Â
There had to be a catch. Thereâs always a catch.Â
Whatever it is, Carol doesnât let on. But youâre not convinced she believes the narrative sheâs selling, either. She wonât say it, but you can hear it in the pauses. Itâs something youâll have to decipher for yourself.
When the two of you pass a mirror at the end of the hall, your step falters.Â
Who is that?
You recognise Carol, of course. Her face is familiar enough, grey hair catching the light like silver, but the one beside herâyouâis someone else entirely. Your throat tightens as you take in the face staring back at you.Â
Thatâs not you; it canât be.
When had you become this gauntâthis filthy?Â
Your cheeks are hollowed out, their colour lost entirely. The lips below are dry and cracked. Whatever was on your head, you could no longer call it hair. It was a matted thing that trailed like rope to the backs of your knees.Â
Staring into the mirror, you find nothing of yourself in that reflection. Everything youâd ever thought endearing, gone. Even your voice is not as it was. You doubt it could still carry a tune.Â
Itâs all too much. The sight of yourselfâthe thing claiming to be yourselfâtriggers emotions you hadnât encountered in quite some time. Before you can stop it, your eyes are burning.
You fight the sensation. Squashing it down to the depths, you stamp it dead. You canât afford to break now. Not here. Not in front of her.
âCome on,â Carol says gently, nudging you away from the mirror.Â
Could she feel it? The way your heart jumped in your chestâhow your legs threatened to give way?Â
You try not to think on it. Instead, you nod.
Once you reach the communal area of the cell block, youâre escorted to the same dilapidated table youâd noted earlier. People are still gathered thereâsome you recognise, others not. They donât stare outright, but you feel their eyes. You begin to tremble in response, as though your body is trying to shake them off. Wordlessly, you let Carol guide you to your spot.
A plate is already set in front of you. Thereâs meat on it; you're told itâs rabbit. One look, and youâre reminded of the bunny you raised as a kidâa fluffy white thing, pure as snow. It was decapitated by the neighborhood fox one evening. You never did find it's head. At the thought, nausea grows within you, but like everything else, you push it down.Â
No one else is eating, you notice. Youâre aware that youâre likely turning their stomachs just sitting here. The word âshowerâ had been thrown in your direction more times than you could count, but nobody had followed through with the threatâyet. Instead, you are offered a bucket of water to rinse your hands. It turns brown from just a few passes.
âThought you could use some meat on those bones,â Carol quips, the words blunt but not unkind. âDaryl caught it fresh.â She then gestures for you to take a bite, to eat rather than stare.
You nod. Stowing your hatchet safely on a nearby seatâyou had refused to leave it in the cellâyou reach for the cutlery laid out on the table. Thereâs a knife and an odd spork-like utensil. They seem intentionally blunt, and in your hands, too, they donât properly fit.Â
Itâs been far too long. How did you use these, again?
With each stroke of the knife, your anxiety mounts. You canât seem to get a clean cut. The meat is sinewy, too aliveânothing like the canned mush youâd survived on for the last year. It takes everything in you to keep the tremors from taking over, to keep your hands steady enough to continue.
As you poke about the rabbit on your plate, a woman who introduces herself as Maggie strikes up a conversation. âThe old community college, huh?â she asks, in spite of cautionary glances. âMy sister used to go some weekends. Probably finger paintinâ or singing kumbaya,â she adds.Â
You catch the playful hint in her tone, and when she laughs, itâs a sound youâre not sure you remember how to respond to. Itâs prettyâthe kind thatâs easy, like it hasnât been twisted by everything bad.Â
âDid you start there, or just end up there?â she asks, casually.
âStâstarted,â you manage. Youâre not sure she hears you, but she leans in, trying to catch the words.
âHmm?âÂ
âStarted,â you repeat, louder, though it feels like a strain.
Beside Maggie, a darker, leaner woman shoots her a look. âLet the girl eat,â she says. Thereâs something practiced about the way she carries herself. You sense sheâs the type not to pry, and youâre thankful for that. Her kind are few and far between.Â
"You're right, Michonne," replies Maggie, and with her answer, you learn another name.
Despite the warning, a boy, not even in his teens, lingers near the table. Youâd noticed him earlier, coated in a sort of pessimism unsuited to his age. âWere there a lotta walkers?â he blurts. Heâs wearing a sheriffâs hatâone he hasnât quite grown intoâand is eyeing you from under its rim. âMy dad said the worst place to be is somewhere like that. Bet there were a bunch of people during the outbreak.âÂ
The leader of the group, Rick, flicks his hat in warning. But itâs too lateâthe questionâs out. Your stomach twists again as you focus on the meat, trying to chew through the knot forming in your throat.
Across from you, your eyes meet Glenn's. Heâs the only one here who saw it: the halls rotting with bodies, the blood-soaked floors. Even then, he still doesnât know the full extent.Â
And what would he do if he did know? If he found out what happened thereâwhat you did? Would he have brought you back?
Your mind starts to spiral. You shove a piece of the rabbit into your mouth, hoping to distract yourself. It goes down like tar. Your hands are shaking now, clattering the mismatched cutlery against your plate. No matter how hard you try, you canât prevent the shudder that rips through your body.
Carol, tempered by concern, leans in. âDid you get separated from your group?â she asks gently. âIs there anyoneââ
Before she can finish, Daryl speaks up. âWould yâall quit it?â he says, his eyes flicking from Carol to the others. The gruffness of his voice stands in complete opposition to their concern. âYer givinâ me indigestion and I ainât even eatinâ.â
For a moment, all attention is directed away from you and onto him. Youâre grateful for the space it grants youâno matter how small. The next breath you take is intentionally drawn.
âIââ you lock eyes with Daryl, hoping to convey your gratitude. Instead, something else makes its way to the surface. âIâm going to be sick,â you announce.
Thereâs no time to stop it. The first to react, Michonne dumps the bucket of water out over the floor. You canât hold it in anymore. Your head falls into it just in time to let the bile spill out. Itâs a pitiful sort of retching. Thereâs no vomit; your stomach is too empty to give up anything more.
Behind you, someone rubs your back. You don't know who, but their cool hands are a welcomed reprieve to the clamminess of your skin. Your body betrays your mind as you instinctively arch into them. Itâs only for a split second, before you pull away.
What have you done?
Head emerging from the bucket, you force yourself to look up. There are eyes on you again, more persistent than before. And in them, you see it, the swell of emotions:
Pity. Annoyance. Indifference. Disgustâ
Your chair screeches against the floor as you dart out of it. You leave the table smelling even worse than before.
â
Itâs mid-evening when Daryl catches sight of you again, scurrying along the catwalk to your cell.Â
Youâre still a mess, though slightly improved since dinner. He takes a passing look. You havenât bathed yetâprobably still shaken by that whole interrogationâbut thereâs something less rabid about you now. Your hair, still a matted mess, is pushed behind your ears, and youâre wearing an odd ensemble: jeans far too big for you and a shirt likely belonging to Glenn. They were clean, at least.
Daryl crosses you without a word. Tired eyes and heavy steps, heâs hell-bent on returning to his own cell for the night. Heâs halfway down the catwalk, hand on the door, when he registers it. A voice, barely above a whisper:
âDâDaryl?âÂ
He stops upon hearing his name. Turning, he finds you right behind himâstaring up with that wide-eyed expression.
He tries not to flinch. When the hell had you gotten there? You were justâŚÂ
Darylâs gaze drops instinctively. Bare feet. Thatâs why you hadnât made a sound.Â
ââm sorry about the food.âÂ
He tunes in to your words. Theyâre coming out too haltingly, too polite for the situation.Â
Daryl doesnât know how to respond. Eat the food, donât eat the food. Normally, he wouldnât care. But something about the way you say itâso fragile, so damn apologeticâleaves him grasping at straws. Heâs not good at this, never has been.
You keep going nonetheless. âIt wouldnât stay down... Iâm sorry to wâwaste it.â
A nervous stammer creeps into your words, and with it, fans Darylâs agitation. He wants to bite back. To let you know heâs got better things to do than watch you throw up food he went out of his way to catch. But something inside of him chooses restraint.
Youâre teetering on the edge; everyone within a five-foot radius can see it. And when he looks at you, for some reason, his mind deciphers it as fear. Heâs just unsure whether itâs the fear of breaking you, or the fear of what youâll do if broken.Â
He shrugs his shoulders. âMm,â he mutters. âDonâ matter. Can always get sâmore.â
You donât say anything after that. The silence hangs between you, heavy and awkward. Daryl shifts on his feet, mapping out the route back to his bed, and how quick he can get there.
âJusâ eat the next one, aâright?â he says, with finality.
You nod, your gaze not lifting from the floor. âGoodnight.âÂ
âNight,â Daryl mutters back. Then he watches you disappear into the darkness of your cell, waiting for the clink as you lock it shut.
But itâs not a good night.Â
It starts a few hours after they all turn in. Daryl bolts upright at the curdling scream ripping through the air. His heart slams against his chest, and instinct kicks in. Heâs already got his crossbow in his hands before the panic can register.
Torchlight flickers along the catwalk as the others begin to scramble awake. Thereâs a cacophony of voices, footsteps on metal, guns cocking, and Rick barking orders as he joins Daryl to locate the source.
The sound echoes again. Itâs coming from your cell, a god-awful shrieking that has him preparing for the worst. Rickâs master key turns in the lock, and the door swings open.
Daryl steps in behind him, crossbow aimed high as he searches for walkersâhell, for anything that could warrant those screams of utter terror. His heart pounds in his ears as he sweeps the room.
Thereâs nothing. No threatâno you.Â
A flashlight shines over your cot, but itâs empty. Daryl follows the edges of the light,into the shadows and all four corners of the room. He finds you in one of them, curled up in a ball, rocking on the soles of your feet.
He gestures to Rick, whoâspotting you thereâlowers his gun. âHey,â he says, with a tone like heâs negotiating you off a high-rise building. âHey, itâs okay.âÂ
Thereâs no response. Your head is buried in your knees, arms wrapped around your legs as you sit twisted in blankets. The shrieking has stopped now, but your silence, Daryl finds, is far more unsettling.
Rick steps aside, exchanging a glance with Daryl. Itâs a subtle signal for him to take the lead. Heâd rather not, but itâs Rick, so he listens.
Lowering his crossbow, he edges forward. âCâmon, snap outta it,â he growls. The cut of his voice makes him cringe; heâs never been good with words.
When you donât react, Daryl tries againâa little closer this time. His hand reaches for your shoulder despite his better judgement.Â
A switch flips the second he touches you. Without warning, your arm shoots out, a blur of motion that sends your hatchet swinging wildly. The instinct to defend yourselfâto fightâis so ingrained that it comes as natural as a breath.Â
Daryl barely manages to dodge the assault. He pivots back, feeling the blade against strands of his hair. Then, as quick as it started, it's over.
You're looking at him nowânot through him. Sweat is beading on your face, running down your cheeks like tears. Daryl knows better than to wipe it. As he stands out of his crouch, realisation flashes behind those massive eyes of yours.Â
âGodâIâm sorry,â you gasp, breath ragged. âIâm so sorry... I thought you wereââ You donât finish. You donât have to. He knows. Everyone knows exactly what you thought you were seeing.
Rick let's out a sigh: half relief, half exhaustion. He throws a backwards glance at the gathering crowd, raising one hand in a calm gesture. âGo on,â he says to them, âback to bed.â
Daryl hears their protests. It's understandable; they'd raced from their rooms only to find the source of the threat was some raging loon having a nightmareâas harsh as it sounded.
âYou gave us quite the fright there,â Rick continues, turning his attention back to you. At this moment, he's demonstrating more tact than he shows his own children. âDo you need someone to stay with you?â
You shake your head, barely lifting your eyes. âNo.â
Rick shifts his weight, searching for something else to say. He doesn't believe you, Daryl can tell by his stance. But that's not his problem.
By now, Daryl had already retreated to the door, watching you from a safe distance in the dim light. Heâs seen this in people beforeâthe way the world cracks them open like an egg. Itâs never pretty. And it would have been less pretty if he'd been standing just a half-step closer to you.
âWell, if ya do,â Daryl says, his voice still edged with sleep, âit ainât gonna be me. I wanna keep my head.â
The words come out harsher than he intends, but he doesnât care enough to fix them. Heâs tired, irritable, and the way you canât meet his eye right now is getting under his skin. So Daryl steps back into the corridor, leaving Rick alone to deal with you.
He cell isn't the same as it was a-half-hour ago. It looks the same, doesn't feel it. It's quiet, but in his mind, that scream still rings like an alarm he can't shut off. On his cot, too, he fights with the covers. They're everywhereâtoo hot, too stifling. Too reminiscent of your emaciated body, tangled in bedsheets as you looked to Daryl for answers.
And he'd just left you there: wide-eyed and afraid.
Daryl doesnât sleep that night.
Neither do you.
A/N Merry Christmas and happy holidays, lovers! I hope you've had a good one. I have eaten such ungodly amounts of cheese.
That said, enjoy this lil gift from me. I busted my balls to get it out today - alternating between stuffing me face and putting words on the page. So do let me know if you like it!
I also hope the change in POV isn't too confusing. I want to tell this story from both of their perspectives, since reader is a little bit of an unreliable narrator haha. Enjoyyyy x
đŹđŽâđ¨âŚ Iâm in a world for hurt, arenât I? Back to back chapters that continue to build the ever growing belief that this is going to be a masterpiece.
Summary: Three-hundred-and-ninety-six days after the outbreak, you are discovered in an abandoned community college, covered in filth and barely able to speak a word. Despite the showers (multiple) and rehabilitation attempts (also multiple), it's apparent that your mind is elsewhere. Beyond saving.
This new world is chaos, but you're lucky to find good people in it. More so than any is a man named Daryl, patient enough to let you put yourself back togetherâone stitch at a time.
Daryl had seen eyes like that only a few times before.
The first, heâd been seven-years-old, roaming the streets of Northern Georgia with his no-good brother. Their parents never did care a ratâs ass about where they ended up, and this time, theyâd found themselves in the bad part of town. The epicentre of trouble.Â
Merle had been hanging around some older boys back then, the type who got off on taunting his kid brother. Sneak up on the local kook, theyâd told him. Itâd be funny; heâd be a chicken if he didnât. So Darylâfilled with a newfound sense of bravadoâagreed, and dumped his can of orange Crush over some man too cracked out to notice.
Until he did.
The way the guyâs eyes popped openâbloodshot, bulgingâwas burned into Darylâs memory. Even now, thirty-some years later, he could recount them in astounding detail. They were the same shell-shocked eyes as those nasty bastards his daddy used to hang about. The ones hardened by their daddies and so on.Â
They were eyes Daryl saw far more often these days. Came across them in the fleeting glances of their ragtag communityâfrom the stragglers of Woodberry to the drifters that had no place else in the world. After a few weeks of decent meals, sleep, and a safe place to shit, most of them lost that look. Replaced it with all sorts of stuff he didnât really care for.
But most recently, Daryl had found it again, stamped onto the face of Glennâs newest rescue. Whilst heâd pitied you at first, shaking like a newborn gazelle on Carolâs arm, that pity quickly morphed into something colder.
Catching your eyes, Daryl suddenly felt seven-years-old again. It wasnât a passing thing, that look, nor did it mask something deeper. It was simply a fixture of your face. The result of whatever shit storm youâd endured.
Even with all the time in the world, Daryl wasnât sure youâd ever shake it.
âMan, Iâm telling you. Shit felt like The ShiningââÂ
A voice drags Daryl back into the room. Around him, a group had gathered in their usual corner, chairs pulled together in a circle. Bob has the floor, soaking in the attention as he recounts an abridged version of the dayâs events.Â
Heâs new, too, and Daryl hadnât taken to him yet.Â
ââGlenn will tell you. Suddenly, sheâs staring at us with those big bug eyes,â Bob goes on, bringing his pointer fingers to his face. âKept getting wider by the second.â
Across from him, Glenn shifts uncomfortably. âIt wasnât that bad,â he retorts. âSheâs not deranged just because she doesn't blink much.â
Daryl feels himself scowl. Heâs got his back against the stone, arms crossed as he watches the exchange. He doesnât usually involve himself in these little powwows, but something about this one is wearing his patience thin.
âFifteen times,â he gruffs. Eyes turn to him as he pushes off the wall. âThaâs how much most folks blink in a minuteâfifteen.âÂ
Daryl moves in closer, stopping just short of the circle before shaking his head. âShe blinked once in three.â
The chatter is replaced by silence, thick and uneasy.
âIâve seen people like that,â Bob says after a moment. His voice is more subdued now, like he's been grounded back to that floor and not the pedestal he'd been put on. âUsually, itâs on their way back from war.â
The words hit hard. For once, Daryl finds himself agreeing. There was something about you, something off that made him feel like a kid again, standing in the shadow of a strangerâs unpredictability. He crosses his arms over his chest. âWhaâever shit went down there,â he says, âya can bet yer ass it werenât pretty.â
âIt wasnât,â Glenn confirms.
His tone leaves no room for elaboration.Â
At the other side of the room, Rick, whoâlike Darylâhad been doing his utmost to not get involved, straightens. âGlenn, brother,â he starts, âI know you mean well, but do you think sheâsââÂ
Rick doesnât say it, but Daryl can hear it in the silence. They all can.
Beyond saving.
Carol clears her throat. âA bit of a feral cat,â she adds, after a beat.Â
Itâs a poor attempt to lighten the mood; no one laughs. Least amused is Glenn, who rakes a hand through his hair before letting out a hefty sigh. âWhat was I meant to do, just leave her there?âÂ
He doesnât aim the question, but the lack of response only urges him on.
âYou didnât see itâthat place was hell.â His voice tightens, the dayâs frustrations bleeding through. âNot everyoneâs lucky enough to have someone to pull them out of it. That couldâve been me, or you, or any one of us.â
The group slinks back as Glenn gestures around, trying not to let themselves land at the end of his pointer finger.Â
Michonneâwhoâs been sitting quietly at the edge of the group until nowâfinally speaks. âGive her time,â she says simply. Her words are directed at no one in particular, but carry the kind of weight that canât be disputed.
Daryl glances at her, and for a brief moment, their eyes meet.Â
Heâs come to appreciate Michonne; her short replies made life easier in the months theyâd spent tracking the Governor. She never wasted breath on stuff that didnât matter.
She has a point now, too. You hadnât been here longâa couple hours at most. Hell, Daryl had taken longer naps. And itâs not like you were going anywhere. Not on those weak knees.Â
For the time being, Cell Block D was the best place for you. It was the only one still needing repairs, a little dingy and a whole lot of space, which worked out fine. You likely wouldnât cope well in the ones filled with people.
Thatâs why Daryl slept in Block D, too.
In the minutes that follow, an air of deliberation settles over the group. Itâs an uncomfortable sort of quiet, with everyone seeming to retreat into their own thoughts. Daryl considers leaving; heâs got plenty to be getting on with. In truth, heâs not sure how he ended up here in the first place. But before he can make it across the room, he crosses paths with Maggie, coming in like a storm through the main entrance.
She looks dishevelled: her shoulders rounded and tiredness evident in the contours of her face. Sidestepping Daryl, she picks out Rick in the crowd. She shakes her head at him. âThat pregnant lady in Block E is having trouble again,â she says, âMy daddyâs gonna keep an eye on her tonight. Beth too.â
She takes a moment to flatten her hair, willing the stray strands into submission.
âTheyâll come see the new girl in the morning,â she explains. Then, with a sidelong glance toward Glenn, asks, âWhatâd you call her againâloony bin?â
Glenn cringes. He reiterates your name, which heâd likely pried from you earlier in the truck.Â
The sound of it takes Daryl by surprise. Itâs a pretty nameâone heâd never pin to you. He almost wonders if hearing it can give him a glimpse into your past, at the person you used to be. But then again, not everyone suits their name. Perhaps you never had.
âWellâŚâ says Rick, more decisive now, âletâs get âer to eat in the meantime.â He stands to dust off his jeans. âOr clean up.â
Thereâs a collective murmur of agreement, and almost immediately, the group starts to disperse. Darylâs first to move, but Carol catches his arm before he can make it out the door.
He throws an annoyed glance back at her.
There's an apron tied around her waist; Michonne had brought it back from some tacky gift shop theyâd raided not long ago. The fabric was already stainedâthe pattern made dull from hard work. Carol was on cooking duty again; Daryl knew because he unintentionally looked forward to those days.Â
âAny chance you could get something for her?â she asks, gesturing to the crossbow over his back. âFresh?â
Thereâs hesitation in her voice, her lips pressed together like sheâs bracing for something.
Daryl raises an eyebrow. âSure. Ya want ribeye or sirloin?â
Carol bats him lightly across the shoulder. Then she offers him a small smileâone that doesnât quite reach her eyes.Â
Daryl dislikes it.
âSheâs just so skinny,â she eventually says. That teasing tone heâd grown to expect is gone now, replaced by something more serious. âI lifted her, andâwell, it was like lifting Sophia.â
The name lands like a stone. Daryl stills, his jaw setting.Â
âIâll find something,â he mutters.
Carol nods, sending him off with a small âthank youâ.Â
Daryl readies his crossbow and hunting gear before heading out into the yard. Itâs bustling, as it always is these daysâchildren weaving around him, adults trying to strike up conversation. He shuts them down with a look that says he could care less for chit-chat right now. Thereâs too many of them for him to handle.
Already got another damn mouth to feed.
He has half a mind to turn around, but Carolâs words propel him forward, clinging to the back of his mind like burrs.
He'll find something.
â
The cropped-haired woman comes to collect you at dinner.Â
She tells you her name is Carol, and that she has something special prepared for you. Her tone is light, airing on excitement as she helps you along the metal catwalk and down the stairs. Itâs an easy, practiced motionâher arm brushing against yours. But with each stroke, you feel it: that itch in your chest.Â
Youâve never been fond of surprises. In fact, you hated them. The uncertainty, the lack of control, the unfamiliarity of this place⌠Every step tightens the grip around your lungs.
Breathe, you remind yourself. In. Out.
Carol notices the shift in your demeanor, must feel it in the stiffness of your shoulders. So she opts for distraction. As the two of you walk arm-in-arm, she attempts to fill the space between you with reassuranceâeven if it doesnât quite reach you.Â
She details life at the prisonâeverything theyâve worked towards in the last few monthsâand the other refugees who now called this place home. There's a semblance of stability behind her eyes as she recounts it all. âWeâve come a long way,â she says. âItâs been hard, but weâre getting there. Youâll see.âÂ
You want to believe it; you almost do. But talk of warm-water showers, birthday celebrations, and even tending to livestock leaves you doubtful. Itâs too reminiscent of life before everything fell apart.Â
There had to be a catch. Thereâs always a catch.Â
Whatever it is, Carol doesnât let on. But youâre not convinced she believes the narrative sheâs selling, either. She wonât say it, but you can hear it in the pauses. Itâs something youâll have to decipher for yourself.
When the two of you pass a mirror at the end of the hall, your step falters.Â
Who is that?
You recognise Carol, of course. Her face is familiar enough, grey hair catching the light like silver, but the one beside herâyouâis someone else entirely. Your throat tightens as you take in the face staring back at you.Â
Thatâs not you; it canât be.
When had you become this gauntâthis filthy?Â
Your cheeks are hollowed out, their colour lost entirely. The lips below are dry and cracked. Whatever was on your head, you could no longer call it hair. It was a matted thing that trailed like rope to the backs of your knees.Â
Staring into the mirror, you find nothing of yourself in that reflection. Everything youâd ever thought endearing, gone. Even your voice is not as it was. You doubt it could still carry a tune.Â
Itâs all too much. The sight of yourselfâthe thing claiming to be yourselfâtriggers emotions you hadnât encountered in quite some time. Before you can stop it, your eyes are burning.
You fight the sensation. Squashing it down to the depths, you stamp it dead. You canât afford to break now. Not here. Not in front of her.
âCome on,â Carol says gently, nudging you away from the mirror.Â
Could she feel it? The way your heart jumped in your chestâhow your legs threatened to give way?Â
You try not to think on it. Instead, you nod.
Once you reach the communal area of the cell block, youâre escorted to the same dilapidated table youâd noted earlier. People are still gathered thereâsome you recognise, others not. They donât stare outright, but you feel their eyes. You begin to tremble in response, as though your body is trying to shake them off. Wordlessly, you let Carol guide you to your spot.
A plate is already set in front of you. Thereâs meat on it; you're told itâs rabbit. One look, and youâre reminded of the bunny you raised as a kidâa fluffy white thing, pure as snow. It was decapitated by the neighborhood fox one evening. You never did find it's head. At the thought, nausea grows within you, but like everything else, you push it down.Â
No one else is eating, you notice. Youâre aware that youâre likely turning their stomachs just sitting here. The word âshowerâ had been thrown in your direction more times than you could count, but nobody had followed through with the threatâyet. Instead, you are offered a bucket of water to rinse your hands. It turns brown from just a few passes.
âThought you could use some meat on those bones,â Carol quips, the words blunt but not unkind. âDaryl caught it fresh.â She then gestures for you to take a bite, to eat rather than stare.
You nod. Stowing your hatchet safely on a nearby seatâyou had refused to leave it in the cellâyou reach for the cutlery laid out on the table. Thereâs a knife and an odd spork-like utensil. They seem intentionally blunt, and in your hands, too, they donât properly fit.Â
Itâs been far too long. How did you use these, again?
With each stroke of the knife, your anxiety mounts. You canât seem to get a clean cut. The meat is sinewy, too aliveânothing like the canned mush youâd survived on for the last year. It takes everything in you to keep the tremors from taking over, to keep your hands steady enough to continue.
As you poke about the rabbit on your plate, a woman who introduces herself as Maggie strikes up a conversation. âThe old community college, huh?â she asks, in spite of cautionary glances. âMy sister used to go some weekends. Probably finger paintinâ or singing kumbaya,â she adds.Â
You catch the playful hint in her tone, and when she laughs, itâs a sound youâre not sure you remember how to respond to. Itâs prettyâthe kind thatâs easy, like it hasnât been twisted by everything bad.Â
âDid you start there, or just end up there?â she asks, casually.
âStâstarted,â you manage. Youâre not sure she hears you, but she leans in, trying to catch the words.
âHmm?âÂ
âStarted,â you repeat, louder, though it feels like a strain.
Beside Maggie, a darker, leaner woman shoots her a look. âLet the girl eat,â she says. Thereâs something practiced about the way she carries herself. You sense sheâs the type not to pry, and youâre thankful for that. Her kind are few and far between.Â
"You're right, Michonne," replies Maggie, and with her answer, you learn another name.
Despite the warning, a boy, not even in his teens, lingers near the table. Youâd noticed him earlier, coated in a sort of pessimism unsuited to his age. âWere there a lotta walkers?â he blurts. Heâs wearing a sheriffâs hatâone he hasnât quite grown intoâand is eyeing you from under its rim. âMy dad said the worst place to be is somewhere like that. Bet there were a bunch of people during the outbreak.âÂ
The leader of the group, Rick, flicks his hat in warning. But itâs too lateâthe questionâs out. Your stomach twists again as you focus on the meat, trying to chew through the knot forming in your throat.
Across from you, your eyes meet Glenn's. Heâs the only one here who saw it: the halls rotting with bodies, the blood-soaked floors. Even then, he still doesnât know the full extent.Â
And what would he do if he did know? If he found out what happened thereâwhat you did? Would he have brought you back?
Your mind starts to spiral. You shove a piece of the rabbit into your mouth, hoping to distract yourself. It goes down like tar. Your hands are shaking now, clattering the mismatched cutlery against your plate. No matter how hard you try, you canât prevent the shudder that rips through your body.
Carol, tempered by concern, leans in. âDid you get separated from your group?â she asks gently. âIs there anyoneââ
Before she can finish, Daryl speaks up. âWould yâall quit it?â he says, his eyes flicking from Carol to the others. The gruffness of his voice stands in complete opposition to their concern. âYer givinâ me indigestion and I ainât even eatinâ.â
For a moment, all attention is directed away from you and onto him. Youâre grateful for the space it grants youâno matter how small. The next breath you take is intentionally drawn.
âIââ you lock eyes with Daryl, hoping to convey your gratitude. Instead, something else makes its way to the surface. âIâm going to be sick,â you announce.
Thereâs no time to stop it. The first to react, Michonne dumps the bucket of water out over the floor. You canât hold it in anymore. Your head falls into it just in time to let the bile spill out. Itâs a pitiful sort of retching. Thereâs no vomit; your stomach is too empty to give up anything more.
Behind you, someone rubs your back. You don't know who, but their cool hands are a welcomed reprieve to the clamminess of your skin. Your body betrays your mind as you instinctively arch into them. Itâs only for a split second, before you pull away.
What have you done?
Head emerging from the bucket, you force yourself to look up. There are eyes on you again, more persistent than before. And in them, you see it, the swell of emotions:
Pity. Annoyance. Indifference. Disgustâ
Your chair screeches against the floor as you dart out of it. You leave the table smelling even worse than before.
â
Itâs mid-evening when Daryl catches sight of you again, scurrying along the catwalk to your cell.Â
Youâre still a mess, though slightly improved since dinner. He takes a passing look. You havenât bathed yetâprobably still shaken by that whole interrogationâbut thereâs something less rabid about you now. Your hair, still a matted mess, is pushed behind your ears, and youâre wearing an odd ensemble: jeans far too big for you and a shirt likely belonging to Glenn. They were clean, at least.
Daryl crosses you without a word. Tired eyes and heavy steps, heâs hell-bent on returning to his own cell for the night. Heâs halfway down the catwalk, hand on the door, when he registers it. A voice, barely above a whisper:
âDâDaryl?âÂ
He stops upon hearing his name. Turning, he finds you right behind himâstaring up with that wide-eyed expression.
He tries not to flinch. When the hell had you gotten there? You were justâŚÂ
Darylâs gaze drops instinctively. Bare feet. Thatâs why you hadnât made a sound.Â
ââm sorry about the food.âÂ
He tunes in to your words. Theyâre coming out too haltingly, too polite for the situation.Â
Daryl doesnât know how to respond. Eat the food, donât eat the food. Normally, he wouldnât care. But something about the way you say itâso fragile, so damn apologeticâleaves him grasping at straws. Heâs not good at this, never has been.
You keep going nonetheless. âIt wouldnât stay down... Iâm sorry to wâwaste it.â
A nervous stammer creeps into your words, and with it, fans Darylâs agitation. He wants to bite back. To let you know heâs got better things to do than watch you throw up food he went out of his way to catch. But something inside of him chooses restraint.
Youâre teetering on the edge; everyone within a five-foot radius can see it. And when he looks at you, for some reason, his mind deciphers it as fear. Heâs just unsure whether itâs the fear of breaking you, or the fear of what youâll do if broken.Â
He shrugs his shoulders. âMm,â he mutters. âDonâ matter. Can always get sâmore.â
You donât say anything after that. The silence hangs between you, heavy and awkward. Daryl shifts on his feet, mapping out the route back to his bed, and how quick he can get there.
âJusâ eat the next one, aâright?â he says, with finality.
You nod, your gaze not lifting from the floor. âGoodnight.âÂ
âNight,â Daryl mutters back. Then he watches you disappear into the darkness of your cell, waiting for the clink as you lock it shut.
But itâs not a good night.Â
It starts a few hours after they all turn in. Daryl bolts upright at the curdling scream ripping through the air. His heart slams against his chest, and instinct kicks in. Heâs already got his crossbow in his hands before the panic can register.
Torchlight flickers along the catwalk as the others begin to scramble awake. Thereâs a cacophony of voices, footsteps on metal, guns cocking, and Rick barking orders as he joins Daryl to locate the source.
The sound echoes again. Itâs coming from your cell, a god-awful shrieking that has him preparing for the worst. Rickâs master key turns in the lock, and the door swings open.
Daryl steps in behind him, crossbow aimed high as he searches for walkersâhell, for anything that could warrant those screams of utter terror. His heart pounds in his ears as he sweeps the room.
Thereâs nothing. No threatâno you.Â
A flashlight shines over your cot, but itâs empty. Daryl follows the edges of the light,into the shadows and all four corners of the room. He finds you in one of them, curled up in a ball, rocking on the soles of your feet.
He gestures to Rick, whoâspotting you thereâlowers his gun. âHey,â he says, with a tone like heâs negotiating you off a high-rise building. âHey, itâs okay.âÂ
Thereâs no response. Your head is buried in your knees, arms wrapped around your legs as you sit twisted in blankets. The shrieking has stopped now, but your silence, Daryl finds, is far more unsettling.
Rick steps aside, exchanging a glance with Daryl. Itâs a subtle signal for him to take the lead. Heâd rather not, but itâs Rick, so he listens.
Lowering his crossbow, he edges forward. âCâmon, snap outta it,â he growls. The cut of his voice makes him cringe; heâs never been good with words.
When you donât react, Daryl tries againâa little closer this time. His hand reaches for your shoulder despite his better judgement.Â
A switch flips the second he touches you. Without warning, your arm shoots out, a blur of motion that sends your hatchet swinging wildly. The instinct to defend yourselfâto fightâis so ingrained that it comes as natural as a breath.Â
Daryl barely manages to dodge the assault. He pivots back, feeling the blade against strands of his hair. Then, as quick as it started, it's over.
You're looking at him nowânot through him. Sweat is beading on your face, running down your cheeks like tears. Daryl knows better than to wipe it. As he stands out of his crouch, realisation flashes behind those massive eyes of yours.Â
âGodâIâm sorry,â you gasp, breath ragged. âIâm so sorry... I thought you wereââ You donât finish. You donât have to. He knows. Everyone knows exactly what you thought you were seeing.
Rick let's out a sigh: half relief, half exhaustion. He throws a backwards glance at the gathering crowd, raising one hand in a calm gesture. âGo on,â he says to them, âback to bed.â
Daryl hears their protests. It's understandable; they'd raced from their rooms only to find the source of the threat was some raging loon having a nightmareâas harsh as it sounded.
âYou gave us quite the fright there,â Rick continues, turning his attention back to you. At this moment, he's demonstrating more tact than he shows his own children. âDo you need someone to stay with you?â
You shake your head, barely lifting your eyes. âNo.â
Rick shifts his weight, searching for something else to say. He doesn't believe you, Daryl can tell by his stance. But that's not his problem.
By now, Daryl had already retreated to the door, watching you from a safe distance in the dim light. Heâs seen this in people beforeâthe way the world cracks them open like an egg. Itâs never pretty. And it would have been less pretty if he'd been standing just a half-step closer to you.
âWell, if ya do,â Daryl says, his voice still edged with sleep, âit ainât gonna be me. I wanna keep my head.â
The words come out harsher than he intends, but he doesnât care enough to fix them. Heâs tired, irritable, and the way you canât meet his eye right now is getting under his skin. So Daryl steps back into the corridor, leaving Rick alone to deal with you.
He cell isn't the same as it was a-half-hour ago. It looks the same, doesn't feel it. It's quiet, but in his mind, that scream still rings like an alarm he can't shut off. On his cot, too, he fights with the covers. They're everywhereâtoo hot, too stifling. Too reminiscent of your emaciated body, tangled in bedsheets as you looked to Daryl for answers.
And he'd just left you there: wide-eyed and afraid.
Daryl doesnât sleep that night.
Neither do you.
A/N Merry Christmas and happy holidays, lovers! I hope you've had a good one. I have eaten such ungodly amounts of cheese.
That said, enjoy this lil gift from me. I busted my balls to get it out today - alternating between stuffing me face and putting words on the page. So do let me know if you like it!
I also hope the change in POV isn't too confusing. I want to tell this story from both of their perspectives, since reader is a little bit of an unreliable narrator haha. Enjoyyyy x
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The Ties That Mend is insane so far... Genuinely reading your writing is like reading my favorite novel so thank you for coming back. I can't wait to see how the relationship develops between Daryl and the reader. She's so intriguing so far!
Aaaaahhhhhh tysm 𼚠I love getting feedback like this!!
I've had this idea in my head for a while, so I'm also looking forward to seeing how it plays out. It might be a bit of a slow burn, but I want it to be realistic. I want my characters to be flawed and real â¤ď¸
That said, there will be plenty of comfort and fluff in bound (my speciality) so don't worry! I hope you continue to enjoy, and thanks again đŤś
Summary: Three-hundred-and-ninety-six days after the outbreak, you are discovered in an abandoned community college, covered in filth and barely able to speak a word. Despite the showers (multiple) and rehabilitation attempts (also multiple), it's apparent that your mind is elsewhere. Beyond saving.
This new world is chaos, but you're lucky to find good people in it. More so than any is a man named Daryl, patient enough to let you put yourself back togetherâone stitch at a time.
Daryl had seen eyes like that only a few times before.
The first, heâd been seven-years-old, roaming the streets of Northern Georgia with his no-good brother. Their parents never did care a ratâs ass about where they ended up, and this time, theyâd found themselves in the bad part of town. The epicentre of trouble.Â
Merle had been hanging around some older boys back then, the type who got off on taunting his kid brother. Sneak up on the local kook, theyâd told him. Itâd be funny; heâd be a chicken if he didnât. So Darylâfilled with a newfound sense of bravadoâagreed, and dumped his can of orange Crush over some man too cracked out to notice.
Until he did.
The way the guyâs eyes popped openâbloodshot, bulgingâwas burned into Darylâs memory. Even now, thirty-some years later, he could recount them in astounding detail. They were the same shell-shocked eyes as those nasty bastards his daddy used to hang about. The ones hardened by their daddies and so on.Â
They were eyes Daryl saw far more often these days. Came across them in the fleeting glances of their ragtag communityâfrom the stragglers of Woodberry to the drifters that had no place else in the world. After a few weeks of decent meals, sleep, and a safe place to shit, most of them lost that look. Replaced it with all sorts of stuff he didnât really care for.
But most recently, Daryl had found it again, stamped onto the face of Glennâs newest rescue. Whilst heâd pitied you at first, shaking like a newborn gazelle on Carolâs arm, that pity quickly morphed into something colder.
Catching your eyes, Daryl suddenly felt seven-years-old again. It wasnât a passing thing, that look, nor did it mask something deeper. It was simply a fixture of your face. The result of whatever shit storm youâd endured.
Even with all the time in the world, Daryl wasnât sure youâd ever shake it.
âMan, Iâm telling you. Shit felt like The ShiningââÂ
A voice drags Daryl back into the room. Around him, a group had gathered in their usual corner, chairs pulled together in a circle. Bob has the floor, soaking in the attention as he recounts an abridged version of the dayâs events.Â
Heâs new, too, and Daryl hadnât taken to him yet.Â
ââGlenn will tell you. Suddenly, sheâs staring at us with those big bug eyes,â Bob goes on, bringing his pointer fingers to his face. âKept getting wider by the second.â
Across from him, Glenn shifts uncomfortably. âIt wasnât that bad,â he retorts. âSheâs not deranged just because she doesn't blink much.â
Daryl feels himself scowl. Heâs got his back against the stone, arms crossed as he watches the exchange. He doesnât usually involve himself in these little powwows, but something about this one is wearing his patience thin.
âFifteen times,â he gruffs. Eyes turn to him as he pushes off the wall. âThaâs how much most folks blink in a minuteâfifteen.âÂ
Daryl moves in closer, stopping just short of the circle before shaking his head. âShe blinked once in three.â
The chatter is replaced by silence, thick and uneasy.
âIâve seen people like that,â Bob says after a moment. His voice is more subdued now, like he's been grounded back to that floor and not the pedestal he'd been put on. âUsually, itâs on their way back from war.â
The words hit hard. For once, Daryl finds himself agreeing. There was something about you, something off that made him feel like a kid again, standing in the shadow of a strangerâs unpredictability. He crosses his arms over his chest. âWhaâever shit went down there,â he says, âya can bet yer ass it werenât pretty.â
âIt wasnât,â Glenn confirms.
His tone leaves no room for elaboration.Â
At the other side of the room, Rick, whoâlike Darylâhad been doing his utmost to not get involved, straightens. âGlenn, brother,â he starts, âI know you mean well, but do you think sheâsââÂ
Rick doesnât say it, but Daryl can hear it in the silence. They all can.
Beyond saving.
Carol clears her throat. âA bit of a feral cat,â she adds, after a beat.Â
Itâs a poor attempt to lighten the mood; no one laughs. Least amused is Glenn, who rakes a hand through his hair before letting out a hefty sigh. âWhat was I meant to do, just leave her there?âÂ
He doesnât aim the question, but the lack of response only urges him on.
âYou didnât see itâthat place was hell.â His voice tightens, the dayâs frustrations bleeding through. âNot everyoneâs lucky enough to have someone to pull them out of it. That couldâve been me, or you, or any one of us.â
The group slinks back as Glenn gestures around, trying not to let themselves land at the end of his pointer finger.Â
Michonneâwhoâs been sitting quietly at the edge of the group until nowâfinally speaks. âGive her time,â she says simply. Her words are directed at no one in particular, but carry the kind of weight that canât be disputed.
Daryl glances at her, and for a brief moment, their eyes meet.Â
Heâs come to appreciate Michonne; her short replies made life easier in the months theyâd spent tracking the Governor. She never wasted breath on stuff that didnât matter.
She has a point now, too. You hadnât been here longâa couple hours at most. Hell, Daryl had taken longer naps. And itâs not like you were going anywhere. Not on those weak knees.Â
For the time being, Cell Block D was the best place for you. It was the only one still needing repairs, a little dingy and a whole lot of space, which worked out fine. You likely wouldnât cope well in the ones filled with people.
Thatâs why Daryl slept in Block D, too.
In the minutes that follow, an air of deliberation settles over the group. Itâs an uncomfortable sort of quiet, with everyone seeming to retreat into their own thoughts. Daryl considers leaving; heâs got plenty to be getting on with. In truth, heâs not sure how he ended up here in the first place. But before he can make it across the room, he crosses paths with Maggie, coming in like a storm through the main entrance.
She looks dishevelled: her shoulders rounded and tiredness evident in the contours of her face. Sidestepping Daryl, she picks out Rick in the crowd. She shakes her head at him. âThat pregnant lady in Block E is having trouble again,â she says, âMy daddyâs gonna keep an eye on her tonight. Beth too.â
She takes a moment to flatten her hair, willing the stray strands into submission.
âTheyâll come see the new girl in the morning,â she explains. Then, with a sidelong glance toward Glenn, asks, âWhatâd you call her againâloony bin?â
Glenn cringes. He reiterates your name, which heâd likely pried from you earlier in the truck.Â
The sound of it takes Daryl by surprise. Itâs a pretty nameâone heâd never pin to you. He almost wonders if hearing it can give him a glimpse into your past, at the person you used to be. But then again, not everyone suits their name. Perhaps you never had.
âWellâŚâ says Rick, more decisive now, âletâs get âer to eat in the meantime.â He stands to dust off his jeans. âOr clean up.â
Thereâs a collective murmur of agreement, and almost immediately, the group starts to disperse. Darylâs first to move, but Carol catches his arm before he can make it out the door.
He throws an annoyed glance back at her.
There's an apron tied around her waist; Michonne had brought it back from some tacky gift shop theyâd raided not long ago. The fabric was already stainedâthe pattern made dull from hard work. Carol was on cooking duty again; Daryl knew because he unintentionally looked forward to those days.Â
âAny chance you could get something for her?â she asks, gesturing to the crossbow over his back. âFresh?â
Thereâs hesitation in her voice, her lips pressed together like sheâs bracing for something.
Daryl raises an eyebrow. âSure. Ya want ribeye or sirloin?â
Carol bats him lightly across the shoulder. Then she offers him a small smileâone that doesnât quite reach her eyes.Â
Daryl dislikes it.
âSheâs just so skinny,â she eventually says. That teasing tone heâd grown to expect is gone now, replaced by something more serious. âI lifted her, andâwell, it was like lifting Sophia.â
The name lands like a stone. Daryl stills, his jaw setting.Â
âIâll find something,â he mutters.
Carol nods, sending him off with a small âthank youâ.Â
Daryl readies his crossbow and hunting gear before heading out into the yard. Itâs bustling, as it always is these daysâchildren weaving around him, adults trying to strike up conversation. He shuts them down with a look that says he could care less for chit-chat right now. Thereâs too many of them for him to handle.
Already got another damn mouth to feed.
He has half a mind to turn around, but Carolâs words propel him forward, clinging to the back of his mind like burrs.
He'll find something.
â
The cropped-haired woman comes to collect you at dinner.Â
She tells you her name is Carol, and that she has something special prepared for you. Her tone is light, airing on excitement as she helps you along the metal catwalk and down the stairs. Itâs an easy, practiced motionâher arm brushing against yours. But with each stroke, you feel it: that itch in your chest.Â
Youâve never been fond of surprises. In fact, you hated them. The uncertainty, the lack of control, the unfamiliarity of this place⌠Every step tightens the grip around your lungs.
Breathe, you remind yourself. In. Out.
Carol notices the shift in your demeanor, must feel it in the stiffness of your shoulders. So she opts for distraction. As the two of you walk arm-in-arm, she attempts to fill the space between you with reassuranceâeven if it doesnât quite reach you.Â
She details life at the prisonâeverything theyâve worked towards in the last few monthsâand the other refugees who now called this place home. There's a semblance of stability behind her eyes as she recounts it all. âWeâve come a long way,â she says. âItâs been hard, but weâre getting there. Youâll see.âÂ
You want to believe it; you almost do. But talk of warm-water showers, birthday celebrations, and even tending to livestock leaves you doubtful. Itâs too reminiscent of life before everything fell apart.Â
There had to be a catch. Thereâs always a catch.Â
Whatever it is, Carol doesnât let on. But youâre not convinced she believes the narrative sheâs selling, either. She wonât say it, but you can hear it in the pauses. Itâs something youâll have to decipher for yourself.
When the two of you pass a mirror at the end of the hall, your step falters.Â
Who is that?
You recognise Carol, of course. Her face is familiar enough, grey hair catching the light like silver, but the one beside herâyouâis someone else entirely. Your throat tightens as you take in the face staring back at you.Â
Thatâs not you; it canât be.
When had you become this gauntâthis filthy?Â
Your cheeks are hollowed out, their colour lost entirely. The lips below are dry and cracked. Whatever was on your head, you could no longer call it hair. It was a matted thing that trailed like rope to the backs of your knees.Â
Staring into the mirror, you find nothing of yourself in that reflection. Everything youâd ever thought endearing, gone. Even your voice is not as it was. You doubt it could still carry a tune.Â
Itâs all too much. The sight of yourselfâthe thing claiming to be yourselfâtriggers emotions you hadnât encountered in quite some time. Before you can stop it, your eyes are burning.
You fight the sensation. Squashing it down to the depths, you stamp it dead. You canât afford to break now. Not here. Not in front of her.
âCome on,â Carol says gently, nudging you away from the mirror.Â
Could she feel it? The way your heart jumped in your chestâhow your legs threatened to give way?Â
You try not to think on it. Instead, you nod.
Once you reach the communal area of the cell block, youâre escorted to the same dilapidated table youâd noted earlier. People are still gathered thereâsome you recognise, others not. They donât stare outright, but you feel their eyes. You begin to tremble in response, as though your body is trying to shake them off. Wordlessly, you let Carol guide you to your spot.
A plate is already set in front of you. Thereâs meat on it; you're told itâs rabbit. One look, and youâre reminded of the bunny you raised as a kidâa fluffy white thing, pure as snow. It was decapitated by the neighborhood fox one evening. You never did find it's head. At the thought, nausea grows within you, but like everything else, you push it down.Â
No one else is eating, you notice. Youâre aware that youâre likely turning their stomachs just sitting here. The word âshowerâ had been thrown in your direction more times than you could count, but nobody had followed through with the threatâyet. Instead, you are offered a bucket of water to rinse your hands. It turns brown from just a few passes.
âThought you could use some meat on those bones,â Carol quips, the words blunt but not unkind. âDaryl caught it fresh.â She then gestures for you to take a bite, to eat rather than stare.
You nod. Stowing your hatchet safely on a nearby seatâyou had refused to leave it in the cellâyou reach for the cutlery laid out on the table. Thereâs a knife and an odd spork-like utensil. They seem intentionally blunt, and in your hands, too, they donât properly fit.Â
Itâs been far too long. How did you use these, again?
With each stroke of the knife, your anxiety mounts. You canât seem to get a clean cut. The meat is sinewy, too aliveânothing like the canned mush youâd survived on for the last year. It takes everything in you to keep the tremors from taking over, to keep your hands steady enough to continue.
As you poke about the rabbit on your plate, a woman who introduces herself as Maggie strikes up a conversation. âThe old community college, huh?â she asks, in spite of cautionary glances. âMy sister used to go some weekends. Probably finger paintinâ or singing kumbaya,â she adds.Â
You catch the playful hint in her tone, and when she laughs, itâs a sound youâre not sure you remember how to respond to. Itâs prettyâthe kind thatâs easy, like it hasnât been twisted by everything bad.Â
âDid you start there, or just end up there?â she asks, casually.
âStâstarted,â you manage. Youâre not sure she hears you, but she leans in, trying to catch the words.
âHmm?âÂ
âStarted,â you repeat, louder, though it feels like a strain.
Beside Maggie, a darker, leaner woman shoots her a look. âLet the girl eat,â she says. Thereâs something practiced about the way she carries herself. You sense sheâs the type not to pry, and youâre thankful for that. Her kind are few and far between.Â
"You're right, Michonne," replies Maggie, and with her answer, you learn another name.
Despite the warning, a boy, not even in his teens, lingers near the table. Youâd noticed him earlier, coated in a sort of pessimism unsuited to his age. âWere there a lotta walkers?â he blurts. Heâs wearing a sheriffâs hatâone he hasnât quite grown intoâand is eyeing you from under its rim. âMy dad said the worst place to be is somewhere like that. Bet there were a bunch of people during the outbreak.âÂ
The leader of the group, Rick, flicks his hat in warning. But itâs too lateâthe questionâs out. Your stomach twists again as you focus on the meat, trying to chew through the knot forming in your throat.
Across from you, your eyes meet Glenn's. Heâs the only one here who saw it: the halls rotting with bodies, the blood-soaked floors. Even then, he still doesnât know the full extent.Â
And what would he do if he did know? If he found out what happened thereâwhat you did? Would he have brought you back?
Your mind starts to spiral. You shove a piece of the rabbit into your mouth, hoping to distract yourself. It goes down like tar. Your hands are shaking now, clattering the mismatched cutlery against your plate. No matter how hard you try, you canât prevent the shudder that rips through your body.
Carol, tempered by concern, leans in. âDid you get separated from your group?â she asks gently. âIs there anyoneââ
Before she can finish, Daryl speaks up. âWould yâall quit it?â he says, his eyes flicking from Carol to the others. The gruffness of his voice stands in complete opposition to their concern. âYer givinâ me indigestion and I ainât even eatinâ.â
For a moment, all attention is directed away from you and onto him. Youâre grateful for the space it grants youâno matter how small. The next breath you take is intentionally drawn.
âIââ you lock eyes with Daryl, hoping to convey your gratitude. Instead, something else makes its way to the surface. âIâm going to be sick,â you announce.
Thereâs no time to stop it. The first to react, Michonne dumps the bucket of water out over the floor. You canât hold it in anymore. Your head falls into it just in time to let the bile spill out. Itâs a pitiful sort of retching. Thereâs no vomit; your stomach is too empty to give up anything more.
Behind you, someone rubs your back. You don't know who, but their cool hands are a welcomed reprieve to the clamminess of your skin. Your body betrays your mind as you instinctively arch into them. Itâs only for a split second, before you pull away.
What have you done?
Head emerging from the bucket, you force yourself to look up. There are eyes on you again, more persistent than before. And in them, you see it, the swell of emotions:
Pity. Annoyance. Indifference. Disgustâ
Your chair screeches against the floor as you dart out of it. You leave the table smelling even worse than before.
â
Itâs mid-evening when Daryl catches sight of you again, scurrying along the catwalk to your cell.Â
Youâre still a mess, though slightly improved since dinner. He takes a passing look. You havenât bathed yetâprobably still shaken by that whole interrogationâbut thereâs something less rabid about you now. Your hair, still a matted mess, is pushed behind your ears, and youâre wearing an odd ensemble: jeans far too big for you and a shirt likely belonging to Glenn. They were clean, at least.
Daryl crosses you without a word. Tired eyes and heavy steps, heâs hell-bent on returning to his own cell for the night. Heâs halfway down the catwalk, hand on the door, when he registers it. A voice, barely above a whisper:
âDâDaryl?âÂ
He stops upon hearing his name. Turning, he finds you right behind himâstaring up with that wide-eyed expression.
He tries not to flinch. When the hell had you gotten there? You were justâŚÂ
Darylâs gaze drops instinctively. Bare feet. Thatâs why you hadnât made a sound.Â
ââm sorry about the food.âÂ
He tunes in to your words. Theyâre coming out too haltingly, too polite for the situation.Â
Daryl doesnât know how to respond. Eat the food, donât eat the food. Normally, he wouldnât care. But something about the way you say itâso fragile, so damn apologeticâleaves him grasping at straws. Heâs not good at this, never has been.
You keep going nonetheless. âIt wouldnât stay down... Iâm sorry to wâwaste it.â
A nervous stammer creeps into your words, and with it, fans Darylâs agitation. He wants to bite back. To let you know heâs got better things to do than watch you throw up food he went out of his way to catch. But something inside of him chooses restraint.
Youâre teetering on the edge; everyone within a five-foot radius can see it. And when he looks at you, for some reason, his mind deciphers it as fear. Heâs just unsure whether itâs the fear of breaking you, or the fear of what youâll do if broken.Â
He shrugs his shoulders. âMm,â he mutters. âDonâ matter. Can always get sâmore.â
You donât say anything after that. The silence hangs between you, heavy and awkward. Daryl shifts on his feet, mapping out the route back to his bed, and how quick he can get there.
âJusâ eat the next one, aâright?â he says, with finality.
You nod, your gaze not lifting from the floor. âGoodnight.âÂ
âNight,â Daryl mutters back. Then he watches you disappear into the darkness of your cell, waiting for the clink as you lock it shut.
But itâs not a good night.Â
It starts a few hours after they all turn in. Daryl bolts upright at the curdling scream ripping through the air. His heart slams against his chest, and instinct kicks in. Heâs already got his crossbow in his hands before the panic can register.
Torchlight flickers along the catwalk as the others begin to scramble awake. Thereâs a cacophony of voices, footsteps on metal, guns cocking, and Rick barking orders as he joins Daryl to locate the source.
The sound echoes again. Itâs coming from your cell, a god-awful shrieking that has him preparing for the worst. Rickâs master key turns in the lock, and the door swings open.
Daryl steps in behind him, crossbow aimed high as he searches for walkersâhell, for anything that could warrant those screams of utter terror. His heart pounds in his ears as he sweeps the room.
Thereâs nothing. No threatâno you.Â
A flashlight shines over your cot, but itâs empty. Daryl follows the edges of the light,into the shadows and all four corners of the room. He finds you in one of them, curled up in a ball, rocking on the soles of your feet.
He gestures to Rick, whoâspotting you thereâlowers his gun. âHey,â he says, with a tone like heâs negotiating you off a high-rise building. âHey, itâs okay.âÂ
Thereâs no response. Your head is buried in your knees, arms wrapped around your legs as you sit twisted in blankets. The shrieking has stopped now, but your silence, Daryl finds, is far more unsettling.
Rick steps aside, exchanging a glance with Daryl. Itâs a subtle signal for him to take the lead. Heâd rather not, but itâs Rick, so he listens.
Lowering his crossbow, he edges forward. âCâmon, snap outta it,â he growls. The cut of his voice makes him cringe; heâs never been good with words.
When you donât react, Daryl tries againâa little closer this time. His hand reaches for your shoulder despite his better judgement.Â
A switch flips the second he touches you. Without warning, your arm shoots out, a blur of motion that sends your hatchet swinging wildly. The instinct to defend yourselfâto fightâis so ingrained that it comes as natural as a breath.Â
Daryl barely manages to dodge the assault. He pivots back, feeling the blade against strands of his hair. Then, as quick as it started, it's over.
You're looking at him nowânot through him. Sweat is beading on your face, running down your cheeks like tears. Daryl knows better than to wipe it. As he stands out of his crouch, realisation flashes behind those massive eyes of yours.Â
âGodâIâm sorry,â you gasp, breath ragged. âIâm so sorry... I thought you wereââ You donât finish. You donât have to. He knows. Everyone knows exactly what you thought you were seeing.
Rick let's out a sigh: half relief, half exhaustion. He throws a backwards glance at the gathering crowd, raising one hand in a calm gesture. âGo on,â he says to them, âback to bed.â
Daryl hears their protests. It's understandable; they'd raced from their rooms only to find the source of the threat was some raging loon having a nightmareâas harsh as it sounded.
âYou gave us quite the fright there,â Rick continues, turning his attention back to you. At this moment, he's demonstrating more tact than he shows his own children. âDo you need someone to stay with you?â
You shake your head, barely lifting your eyes. âNo.â
Rick shifts his weight, searching for something else to say. He doesn't believe you, Daryl can tell by his stance. But that's not his problem.
By now, Daryl had already retreated to the door, watching you from a safe distance in the dim light. Heâs seen this in people beforeâthe way the world cracks them open like an egg. Itâs never pretty. And it would have been less pretty if he'd been standing just a half-step closer to you.
âWell, if ya do,â Daryl says, his voice still edged with sleep, âit ainât gonna be me. I wanna keep my head.â
The words come out harsher than he intends, but he doesnât care enough to fix them. Heâs tired, irritable, and the way you canât meet his eye right now is getting under his skin. So Daryl steps back into the corridor, leaving Rick alone to deal with you.
His cell isn't the same as it was a-half-hour ago. It looks the same, doesn't feel it. It's quiet, but in his mind, that scream still rings like an alarm he can't shut off. On his cot, too, he fights with the covers. They're everywhereâtoo hot, too stifling. Too reminiscent of your emaciated body, tangled in bedsheets as you looked to Daryl for answers.
And he'd just left you there: wide-eyed and afraid.
Daryl doesnât sleep that night.
Neither do you.
A/N Merry Christmas and happy holidays, lovers! I hope you've had a good one. I have eaten such ungodly amounts of cheese.
That said, enjoy this lil gift from me. I busted my balls to get it out today - alternating between stuffing me face and putting words on the page. So do let me know if you like it!
I also hope the change in POV isn't too confusing. I want to tell this story from both of their perspectives, since reader is a little bit of an unreliable narrator haha. Enjoyyyy x
Thank you! I'm working on chapter 2 now and hoping to get out early next week. I'm kinda blown away by the feedback so far. I remember writing Here Comes The Sun (my first Daryl fic) and the first few chapters legit getting 2 notes each, so it's a bit crazy to get this response now đ
Excited to see where this one goes!! I just wish I could write it quicker (seriously how the hell did 19 yo me pump out fic so fast) đĽ˛
Summary: Three-hundred-and-ninety-six days after the outbreak, you are discovered in an abandoned community college, covered in filth and barely able to speak a word. Despite the showers (multiple) and rehabilitation attempts (also multiple), it's apparent that your mind is elsewhere. Beyond saving.
This new world is chaos, but you're lucky to find good people in it. More so than any is a man named Daryl, patient enough to let you put yourself back togetherâone stitch at a time.
Thereâs no space left on the walls.
The thought sickens you; bile backs up into your throat before you swallow it down. There has to be something, somewhereâa small patch of unmarked paint for you to draw your next tally line. Desperately searching, your hands shake with realisation. Thereâs no more space on the walls. Nowhere left for you to mark the day.Â
How many had it been, again? Four-hundredâmore?
You start counting the tallies in multiples of five, beginning with the wall nearest the door and working clockwise around your bedroom. It had been a supply cupboard initially, scarcely big enough for you to lie flat. Blankets were scrunched at your feet, the result of yet another restless night, and your few belongings sat tucked into built-in shelving. You had committed it all to memoryâevery inch, a map of your isolation.
Thereâs a thunk in the distance, barely there. You pause mid-breath. Soon enough, another follows. Itâs a distant, hollow thud that sends ripples of panic through your body.Â
The response is immediate. The tremors start with your fingertips before spreading upwards. Every breath exacerbates them, and soon you find yourself violently shaking. Something is approaching. You know it before you hear the next noise, a clink some ways off that cuts through the stillness.
Instinct takes over. Youâre on your feet before you can think it through. The hatchet under your pillow is cold, its handle familiar. It becomes an extension of your limbs as your fingers mold around it. Your voice, alarmed, races through your head:
Howâd it get inâwhat entrance had you missed? How many? How many?
You find your footing. The supply door creaks as you toe it open; it needs greasing again. Thereâs a jerry can in the music room downstairsâyou knowâbut youâd lacked the energy for the trip. The hunger pangs had been keeping you bedridden, and only when dark spots crept into your vision did you dare venture out.Â
Now you have no choice. Somethingâs coming, and you need to deal with it.
As you creep through the door, the smell of decay hits you. Gore and innards have seeped into the floorboards, your bare feet squelching atop the ichor. Before you, the corridor is lined with undead, their bodies shoved up against the walls to form a pathway through the middle.Â
At first, youâd made an effort to clean them awayâburying and burning and scrubbing and praying. But as the days went on, they just kept piling up. There were only so many bodies one person could attend, and even that took its toll. Before you knew it, they were under your nails and in your hair, then sometimes your head.
It was pointless.
It didnât matter if you locked them away in the auditorium; you were never truly rid of them. Eventually, you gave up altogether. They were just another fixture of your life. Another layer of filth that had come to define this world.
Theyâre watching you now. You feel them. Judging you, condemning you. Stop it, you think, fixing onto oneâitâs face half-shredded, an eye hanging from the socket. Donât look at me like that. But its gaze is unrelenting. You swallow hard, and continue past the corpse. He was a kind man, once. Back when he had been one.
Your hatchet is weighing you down. Itâs far heavier than you remembered, and your body, more sluggish. Most of the food has perished by nowâonly a few cans left rolling about the cafeteria. You didnât pick through them anymore. There were too many memories in there. Too many things left behind.Â
Malnourishment had taken its toll on you. Despite covering all the mirrors, you couldnât avoid the contours of your hands, skin stretched taut over boney fingers, topped by brittle nails. In certain lights, you were not dissimilar to the undeadâslowly wasting away.
âMan, this place is god-awful.âÂ
You freeze. Voices slice through the cloying air.Â
âIâm telling you, something ainât right here,â one says, close enough to spit. âBunchâa dead walkers and you donât stop to think, why? We got the meds, foodâs nothing but dust, so what are we sticking around for?âÂ
A second voice, lighter, and a bit strained rebuts, âI donât remember making you in charge. Keep walking, and Iâll keep pretending like I didnât see you stuff that bottle of pills down your pants.â
Pills? You blink, your mind struggling to piece the words together. There were pills in the sick-bay down the hallâyes. That was true. So these people⌠Were they real?
You deliberate for a moment. In your entire time here, you hadnât seen another person since the outbreak. Not a real one at leastâor living.
No, you decided. They were undead. They had to be.
The shuffling of footsteps grows louder. Theyâre close now. Too close. Youâre shaking so viciously that your bones ache. Itâs now or never. As the undead round the corner, you are decided.
You aim for the head when you swing.
Thwack.Â
The impact is solidâsatisfying. But beneath the hatchet, the wall crumbles. There is no corpse, no contact with flesh. Before you, a man stares wide-eyed, his jacket crumpled in the fist of his companion, who had pulled him backwards in the nick of time.Â
Your breath catches in your throat as you ready yourself for another go.Â
They wonât fool you. Thereâs space in the auditoriumâyouâll make space.
âJesus Christ, put the axe down!â yells the man.
Each word is raw, grating on your ears. You donât move; you canât move.
âBob, stop,â snaps the first man. His hands are up now, palms flat as though facing off with a wild animal. âLook, weâre not going to do anything,â he says, punctuating each word. âYou donât have to be afraid.â
Beside him, the other one reaches for his gun. Your mind flashesâweapon. They want to hurt you. Theyâre going to kill you. Your knuckles turn white.
Your head shakes of its own volition. You know fear; youâre looking at it in his eyes.Â
Was he⌠afraid of you?
âYouâre alone, right?â he asks, unmoving. âWe can take you back with us.â
No reply comes. Your head swims. You donât trust him. You canât trust him. But something in his toneâsomething warm and steadyâpulls at you. Youâre not sure why.
Something stirs inside of you. Back?
Despite your silence, your expression must have given you away. The man stands straighter, slowly letting his arms retract and settle in at his sides.Â
His eyes flicker to your hatchet before he clears his throat, âWe have a community. Itâs not much yet but weâre making it into a home,â he says, gesturing between himself and the cautious man. âUs and a few others.â
Your body is screaming from exertion at this point. The hatchet trembles in your hands, but you donât lower it.
âThâthereââÂ
You pause; your voice isnât coming out. Itâs ragged and the stutter is a new development.Â
All this time⌠had you forgotten how it felt to speak?
You force a swallow and try again. âThere are oâothers?â you eventually manage.
The man with the frightened eyes doesnât respond, but his companionâBob, you recallâcrosses his arms over his chest. âHow longâs it been since you seen someone, huh?â he asks brusquely.
Three-hundred-and-ninety-six days.
You shake your head. The action seems to irritate him. He dares an approach, and like a trigger pulled, your trembles evolve into full-blown convulsing. Your heel slides back on a pool of blood, the shift in balance unsettling you.Â
âHey, heyââ A voice breaks through, fixing your attention. âLook at me.âÂ
The man whose name you do not know crouches just enough to toss his gun to the floor. The weapon lands with a dull splatter. Bobâs followsâmuch to his dismay.
The action does little to ease your concerns.
What if these men werenât real?Â
Your mind has done this beforeâcrafted strangers out of silence. It wouldnât be the first time you mistook the undead for a familiar face. Worse thoughts suddenly cross you:
What if they are real? What did they want with youâwhat would they do to you?
Quick as a blink, youâre back on guard.Â
The weaponless man sighs. âLook, I donât know what youâve been through, or how youâve managed to hide out here this longâŚâ he says, pausing for a moment. âBut you canât stay. This place reeks of death.â
The word lingers in the air. He directs a grimace at the audience of blue-black corpses behind you.
âGod, it smells so bad.â
Before you can reply, he's back looking at youâthrough you, almostâlike heâs staring into the very foundation of your being.
âYou donât want to rot away here, do you?âÂ
You stand frozen, unable to respond. Your throat tightens as you search for words, but none come.
Bobâs impatience cuts through the moment. âGlenn, letâs get out of here already. You canât save âem all. This oneâs bat-shit,âÂ
The words donât sting; they barely register. In this moment, your eyes are only trained on the man whose head you almost dislodged from his shouldersâGlenn.Â
Heâs waiting. You can discern no pity in his face, no judgment. Just an offer.
You say nothing.Â
After a beat, Glenn gives you a small nod and concedes. Bob counters with a told-you-so sort of look before retrieving his pistol from the floorâwiping it over his jeans.Â
They prepare to leave.
âWâwait.âÂ
Itâs barely louder than a breath, but Glenn hears it. He stops, turning just enough to face you.Â
Your chest is heaving now, the anxiety, palpable. Every instinct screams at you to run, to hide, to stay locked in the little supply cupboard at the end of the hall.
âIâll go,â you say instead.
Glenn doesnât smileâthereâs nothing triumphant about itâbut his own fear seems to have left him. He keeps a good distance but beckons you with his hand; itâs clean.Â
âCome on then,â he says. âLetâs get out of here.âÂ
â
Bob is dry-heaving in the passenger seat.Â
The heat of the truck only amplified the stench of death clinging to you. They were right; it is awful. Back at the college, you did your best to bathe somewhat, with whatever water you could scavenge. But it was never enough. The foul miasmas had seeped into everything: your clothes, your skin, your sweat. It would take some time to air out.Â
Curling tighter to the door, you try to avoid Glennâs strained expression in the rearview mirror.
âTold you it was bad,â he says. His tone is light, far too casual; it makes you want to sink into the seats. âNothing a good shower wonât fix, though?â
You canât bring yourself to nod. Perhaps youâd feel ashamed had it not been for the unadulterated panic ripping through you. Everything is too much: the thrum of the engine, the weight of the hatchet on your thigh, the sunlightâ
How long had it been since youâd seen it? Four months?
Thatâs right. It had been four months since the generator had sputtered out, leaving you to exist in the dark for the remaining two-hundred-and-sixty-odd days. In truth, youâd grown used to it. Most windows youâd pasted with newspapers from the old art room, so even the sunniest days were reduced to a shadow. The open sky feels wrong to you now, like itâs exposing you to things youâd forgotten how to face.
You try not to blink. Each time the sun slices through the trees, it adds to the utter overstimulation. Your muscles are spasming, sapping the little energy you have left. The movement is making the smell worse. Glenn flicks the fans in a poor attempt to cycle the air, and almost immediately, youâre greeted by warm wafts of your own stench.Â
Bob sticks his head further out the window. You cough wetlyâtrying not to vomit.
âDeep breaths,â Glenn reminds. You catch his eyes flicking between you and the road. âWeâre almost there.â
You donât answer; you canât.
âThough I am going to warn you about something,â he adds. Hesitation lines his voice, doing nothing for your nerves. âI donât want you to freak out, but⌠our community is, uh, in a prison.â
A prison?
The word ricochets in your head.
Your jaw slackens as you process the words. Glenn hurriedly continues. âHey, itâs okay,â he blurts, âWeâre not gonna lock you up or anything.â
His reassurance does little to stem the panic.
âWeâre locked up now anyway,â Bob mutters from the passenger side. âStuck in this hotbox with a raging loon.âÂ
Glenn smacks him. The truck veers as he forfeits the wheel, but he's quick to correct it. He finds your eyes in the mirror again. âI promise itâs safe. Safer than anywhere else weâve found.â
You donât believe him.
But before you can spiral any further, the truck slows, rolling to a stop in front of a chain-link fence. Beyond, a prison looms in the distanceâa great hulking thing absent of any colourâand from it, a figure comes jogging to open the gates. You're here.
At the sight of another unfamiliar face, your doubts make themselves known.
Run. You have to get out. Run. Run. Runâ
The door handle is in your hand before you realise it. The truck hasnât fully stopped, but you shove it open anyway. The rush of motion tilts the vehicle, and Glenn curses as he hits the breaks.
The ground comes up fast. Your legs give out the moment they hit dirt. Above you, the sunlight is blinding. This time, youâre sure youâll be sick.
âWhoa, hey, hold up!âÂ
A womanâs voice brings you back. Before you can react, thereâs a pressure under your armâhands, firm but steady. You instinctively jerk away but youâre too weak to pull free.
âDonât struggle. Itâs okay,â she soothes. Trembling, you force yourself to look up.Â
Crouching before you is a woman with cropped hair, her features delicate yet hard. As her eyes sweep over your body, you catch a flicker of sadness in them.
âGoodness, you poor thing,â she murmurs. âSeems like Glennâs brought home another stray.â
Her arm slips under yours again, and this time you let her help you up. Thereâs no fight left in you; itâs taking every morsel of strength to hug your hatchet to your chest. Each step is heavier than the last, but her encouragementâalmost motherlyâkeeps you moving.
You try not to stare as she leads you toward the main building. People move around the yard. Real people. More than youâve seen in months. Their voices blur together, too loud, too close, and you want nothing more than to shrink away from all of it.
As you make it inside, the air is cooler but no less stifling.
You're in a cell block. It's stark, structurally plain. Metal bars, concrete floors, and the faint scent of bleach that doesnât quite mask something darker. In the center of the room is a makeshift cooking area, a hodgepodge of furniture surrounding a lunch table poached from the outer yard. A small group gathers there.
You do a quick count: Man. Man. Child. Woman. Babyâ
Your brow furrows. Baby?
The woman cradling the infant has dark skin and neat locs, as opposed to the child, whose parents were probably another casualty of this world. She maintains her distance.
âRick,â the woman at your side calls out, garnering the attention of everyone.Â
A man responds to the name. He cuts through the group with measured steps. His stature is lean, his features weathered. Heâs dressed simplyâdark jeans, boots, a tan button-down rolled to the elbowsâbut his stance, the set of his jaw, that air of gravitas⌠It all screams leader.Â
You plant yourself firm into the floor.Â
The manâRickâscarcely spares you a glance. âAnother one?â he asks Glenn from over your head. âWhere dâyou pick âem up this time?â
âOld community college,â Glenn answers.
Rick lets out a short, tired breath. âOkay,â he says, before directing his attention toward you. âThen answer me this: how many walkersââ
He stops mid-sentence. For the first time, he really sees you. His expression sours as he does a quick scan, taking in every detail from your bare feet to the stained-red hatchet embedded in your chest. You see his nose twitch as he inhales.
âRick...â the short-haired woman interjects, placing a hand to his chest. âNot now,â she says firmly.
âNot now,â Rick echoes. The frown lines marring his brow soften slightly. âItâs okay,â he says instead. âYouâre safe now.â
You blink once.
Safe? Why does everyone keep saying thatâLike itâs some guarantee?
Something in his eyes tells you he doesnât believe it either; like heâs said those words too many times before.
âItâs not much, but itâs a roof and four walls. Itâs a place to raise our kids.â Rick nods his head at the child with his likeness, a brown-haired boy in a deputy hat, and then to the woman holding the baby. âWeâve got water hereâfood. Darylâs a hunter, and a damn good one. Weâll make sure youâre taken care of.â
Youâre only half-listening. At the mention of another name, your eyes drift past Rick, settling on the figure at the edge of the group.
Thatâs the hunterâDaryl. You can tell by the crossbow slung across his back, and the dirt stains on his skin, far greater in number than the rest of them. His stance was casual but guarded, his sleeveless shirt exposing corded muscle. You catch his eyes, pinned under a mop of tawny fringe.Â
Theyâre the kind that donât miss a thing.Â
You can tell heâs studying you just as closely as youâre studying him. Thereâs a tension in his posture, like a rubber band ready to snap at a momentâs notice. It unsettles you.
It frightens you.
âShe should lie down,â Glenn says, breaking the silence, âLet Hershel take a look at her when heâs back.â
Rick nods. Instinctively, he reaches out to steady you as you sway on your feet.Â
âI can walk,â you mutter, words barely audible. âI can walk.â
No one listens.
Thereâs an exchange of glances between Rick and the short-haired woman. Then, with a gesture so slow it feels deliberate, she steps in close again, threading your arm through hers. Her grip is firm but unobtrusive; you feel yourself leaning into her without meaning.Â
Glenn attempts to relieve you of the hatchet, but you twist away, eyes flashing with warning. He raises his hands in surrender.
âOkay. You can keep it,â he placates.
The next thing you know, youâre being led into the prisonâs interior. The cell they bring you to is small, the cot inside neatly made. But the room feels too open, too exposed. You hesitate at the doorway.
âThis oneâs yours,â Rick states simply. As he points, a keychain jingles at his belt.Â
You fixate on it. âTheâThe key?â you question.
Rickâs brow furrows. He hesitates, then thumbs through the chain until he finds the one heâs looking forâa long, slender thing with a dull shine.Â
âHere,â he says. âTake it if it makes you feel better.â
It does.
You donât mean to snatch it from him, but the warmth of his hand is unexpected, and you find yourself clawing for the key. Tucking it into your palm, you slide the gate shut. It latches with a clink, and a shaky breath escapes you.
âRight, well...â Rick steps back, giving you space. âGet some rest. Weâll come check on you in a bit.â
He lingers for a moment longer, his hand hovering over the bars like heâs deliberating prodding an animal at the zoo. When you donât respond, he straightens and beckons Glenn to follow him out. The kind woman gives you one last reassuring nod before retreating, her boots echoing down the corridor.
Alone again.
Despite your fatigue, you donât move to the cot. Itâs far too clean. Instead, you yank the sheets from it, piling them onto the floor in the furthest corner of the room. They bunch at your feet, turning the colour of rust as dried blood flakes from your skin. Quietly, you sink down into your new bed.
For once your mind is empty. Your eyes, unblinking, stare at the expanse of wall. It feels wrong in some way you canât quite place. Instinctively, your fingers find the loose match in your pocketâthe one you kept for emergencies. You strike it and watch the flame quiver for a brief moment before blowing it out.
With the blackened end, you draw a tally mark on the stone before you:
One.
Thereâs plenty of space on these walls.
A/N And that's chapter one! It's been years since I've written anything like this, but I have big things planned. My style has definitely changed (hopefully for the better) and this series will be heavier than my previous stuff... But that hopefully means better payoff.
I'd love to hear your thoughts. In all honesty, I was a little nervous about sharing this. I don't know if anyone still reads my stories, or even cares, so some feedback would be appreciated :)
See you in the next one x
big time excited for this. loving the bookends of the tallies on the wall and just how much it encapsulates, the idea of going from no room left on the walls to starting on a blank slate
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I've been following you for YEARS and your new series is insane!! Your writing gets better and better omg. Can I ask how many chapters you plan on? I looove long fics and I'm so excited to dig into this!! <3
Ahhhh thank you so much, this is so sweet! Can't believe people have stuck with me for so long (actually makes me a bit emo lol).
Anywhooo- New series. Yep. Tbh I'm very excited about it. I've never started in this arc before, and I plan on at least making it to Alexandria. If you like slow burns, this one is for you :)
Not sure on an exact chapter count yet; I have about 5 planned so far, so it'll likely be a long one. I just need to stay motivated. Good news is, I finish work tomorrow (FREEDOM MFERS) and have a solid 2 weeks over the holidays to bash out some writing.
Currently watching season 10 and I just can't get ocer Daryl's interactions with Connie. They're both so pure and innocent with each other while still having this amazing chemistry- it's going to kill me! Could you please write something similar to their relationship- like that the reader takes in Connies place and she's also deaf and you're describing their shy teenager like relationship?
Hey hey! This is actually the cutest ask EVER and I am obsessed đ thanks for reading my writing, and requesting it!
That said, I'm gonna have to let you down a bit here (annoying, I know). I genuinely just don't think I could do this justice as a hearing person with no knowledge of, or even familiarity with, the deaf community.
Whilst I'm pretty sure I could wing it and write something cute and fluffy, I likewise don't want to half-ass this and offend anyone if ygm? I'd want to do some research first! đŤś
That said, it's not a no - just a not now. I'll come back to this at some point. So yeah, thanks again and sorry to disappoint x