StarGirl

El Malo

CHAPTER 1

I already posted CHAPTER 2

Oscar and I had been together since we were teens. Things were difficult for us but we always seemed to make it work. One couldn’t be without the other. I honestly don’t even know how he convinced me to go on a date with him. We were so different, he was the bad guy and I was the good girl.

He failed me, he told me that he wasn’t gonna do anything bad and I trusted him and then he got locked up and was sentenced to eight years. It hurt having to see him through a glass window that separated us. I only visited him once cause I felt betrayed but I took Cesar whenever I could. I promised him that I would take care of Cesar until he got out of jail and I kept that promise.

Its been four years since he got arrested and a three years since I last visited him..

(Flashback)

It took me almost ten months after Oscar got arrested to finally come see him. My heart was pounding in my chest when our eyes met, no emotions behind those brown eyes as they brought him in and un cuffed his hands. I picked up the phone as he sat and did the same.

“Hey..’’, I said not knowing what to say after not seeing him for almost a year taking in all of his features, him doing the same.

“Hey baby, how’ve you been?’’ He asked, his eyes softening.

“I’ve been okay and you? How is it in there?” I asked him not being able to hide how concerned I was.

“Don’t worry about me, nena, Cesar told me you moved into the house, he’s not giving you any trouble is he..?”

I smiled a little at this.

“No, he’s actually been doing really good in school and helps me around the house..”

“That’s good..” he said as silence filled the air.

“Y/N..” He said my name so tenderly and put his hand against the glass. I felt my eyes getting teary as I looked at him.

“You lied to me, you told me you loved me and you lied about everything-“

“I do, I meant what I said.” He stated cutting me off

“You can’t love me from here, you never have! You never have! ” I raised my voice as a tear rolled down my cheek.

“I’m sorry, I know I failed you, I’ve made mistakes” he said as his hand slid down the glass.

“Mistakes?” I asked with a scoff, more tears running down my face.

“Si, si, errores, pero eso no tiene nada que ver con amor, it’s been a disaster but I’ve always loved you, I still love you, I always will”

“Stop, stop, I can’t” I slammed the phone and got up, I could feel his eyes on me the entire time until I walked out the door.

(End of Flashback)

My eyes watered remembering that day as I looked out the window of Dwayne’s Joint BBQ. I started seeing someone about a year ago, after I unofficially broke up with Oscar. His name is Tony and he’s the complete opposite of Oscar, I hate myself for always comparing him to Oscar. It’s almost as if he doesn’t have any flaws, he seems too perfect for me.

“Earth to Y/N!” I snapped out of the trance I was in when I saw Tony waving his hand in my face.

“Sorry, must’ve spaced out” I forced a chuckle out as I blinked rapidly to clear my eyes of any tears.

Tony smiled, “What’s going on in that head, amor?”

“Nothing, just thoughts”I stated bluntly as I looked over to see Dwayne putting the check on the table with the food that I ordered for Cesar to go.

“Thanks Dwayne” I looked up at him with a smile as Tony handed him the money.

“No, thank you tell Cesar I said hey “

“I’ll let him know, bye”

Tony and I walked out holding hands walking towards his car. When we got inside I saw three men with Santos tattoo on their neck staring my way. I tried my best to ignore them but their intense stares made me want the ground to swallow me whole and I know Tony felt intimidated.

They made it their lives mission to always try and intimidate Tony whenever they saw him.

“I’m sorry about that” I apologized as I looked over at him as he drove to Oscar’s house.

“ You don’t have to apologize, I get that they don’t like me much”

The entire ride was filled with an uncomfortable silence..at least for me until we got to Oscar’s house.

“Thanks, I really enjoyed today” I said with a small smile.

“I’m glad, I really did too” he stated as he looked like he wanted to say something else but didn’t know how to say it.

“What? Is something wrong?” I asked confused.

“C-can I kiss you?” He asked tenderly

He always asked even the first time we got intimate. He’s very vanilla and I’m so used to something else I didn’t really like it. I tried going rough one time and he didn’t like it so I stopped. I thought about cutting him off but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

“Yea, of course” I told him as I forced a smile.

He got closer and closed the distance between our lips. I forced my eyes shut and moved my lips against his. He was gonna deepen the kiss but then there was a knock on the window making us jump and look to the side to see who the culprit was.. Cesar. I thanked him with my eyes and he looked at me with a knowing look.

Tony rolled the window down as I got out and greeted Cesar. He forced a tight lipped smile and waved.

“Bye, Thanks again Tony “ I waved as he reluctantly drove off into the road. I put my arm on Cesar’s shoulder as we walked inside the house.

“So, how was the visit with Oscar ?”

“Umm, good, I actually have something to tell you..”

“Oh yea, what is it, is something wrong?”

I asked as we walked into the house and I leaned on the couch, watching as he scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“Cesar, come on, spill it”

“Um, Oscars getting out tomorrow”

I felt my heart stop and my vision become blurry.

Chapter 3

I sat on my bed that night looking at the moon through my window. Tony is a good man and he loves me and maybe I can love him, but I have doubts. Fuck. I’m such a bad person.

It's been six weeks since Oscar got out. I've been keeping myself busy by working at my sister’s beauty store and avoiding Oscar. And I’m doing a pretty good job at avoiding him, if I do say so myself. I was finally walking home after I finished helping my sister with her store when I spotted Jamal, Ruby, and Monse.

“Monse!” I shouted her name with a smile and sped up to greet them.

“Hey, when did you get back?”

“I just got back today, hey do you know why Ruby and Jamal aren’t talking to Cesar, he tells you everything cause these shitheads won’t tell me anything” She walked next to me to look at Jamal and Ruby with an eye roll. Just when I was going to answer, we heard someone blasting their music and when we turned to look, it was the familiar red impala coming down the street.

Ruby shook his head, “We can’t tell you what Cesar said.”

“Fine, then I’ll ask myself”

She walked on the street and stopped right in front of the Impala, forcing Oscar to stop the car.

“Hey, you crazy!”

I turned to Jamal and Ruby.

“What did Cesar say?” I asked. I was curious to know why Monse was so upset and why they weren’t talking to him.

“Cesar said he hit it” I gasped and turned to look at Monse leaned over talking to Oscar.

“Jamal!” Ruby yelled and Jamal quickly covered his mouth with his hand. He turned to me”, look just don’t tell Monse”

“I won’t, but you know the truth always comes out, I’ll talk to-“

“Hey Y/N! Get in the car, I’ll take you home”

I turned to look at Oscar and crossed my arms.

“No, I’m perfectly fine with walking.”

Cesar turned to look at me with desperation in his eyes. I sighed and bid my goodbyes as I got in next to Cesar.

Oscar drove me to his house and asked me to stay for a while. But I declined and told him I was gonna pass to the bathroom and get some of my stuff, although I left out the second part. I was only gone for six weeks and the house is already a mess. Ugh, men. By the time I walked out, I saw Cesar sitting on the couch and Oscar sitting behind him on a crate, with Monse standing in front of him.

“We can go inside-“ Oscar cut him off by clearing his throat “, But uh if you wanna sit on my face, you gotta put that mouth on pause so I can concentrate”

All of the Santos laughed and he fist bumped Oscar. Poor Monse had the look of humiliation on her face.

“What the fuck? You put him up to this didn’t you!”

“Hey,” Oscar stood up and tried to get in my face “,don’t start shit.”

“Fuck you Oscar”

I was beyond pissed. How dare he try to intimidate me in front of his puto friends. I wanted to release some steam by hanging out with my friends but they were on the clock so that was a no and my mom went to visit family in Mexico, so I’m in a house all by myself . You must be wondering what happened to Tony. Let’s just say he could see I wasn’t Interested and he wasn’t mad. He told me he loved me and he’d be willing to wait for me when I realize Oscar ain’t shit.

I was watching tv in the living room when I heard movement in my room. I could feel my heart start racing. I sped tip-toed into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. I stood beside my closed bedroom door and waited for whoever was in there to come out. My heart sped as the door opened and I put the knife against the throat of the perpetrator. Only it wasn’t, it was Oscar. I let out a sigh of relief.

“What the fuck Oscar? You could’ve knocked on the door”

I walked to the kitchen with him following behind me and put the knife away.

“What are you doing here?”

“Came to talk.”

“ I don’t have anything to say to you’’

“Haven’t seen you with that guy”

“What’s it to you?” I asked as I leaned on the kitchen counter. I watched as he stepped closer to me.

“I failed you a thousand times, yet you’re still mine”

He walked closer so our chests were touching, he held my chin up gently forcing me to look up at him.

“He seemed sincere unlike my flaws, but I’m the bad guy you don’t stop loving. You’re like Cinderella and he’s the pitiful fool and even though I’m not Prince Charming, I’m still the love of your life”

My eyes started to water and I tried to look down but he wouldn’t let me.

“Oscar- please”

“I love you, Y/N”

CHAPTER 2

(I know I took quiet a minute to post this but I lost my drafts in my old phone cause it fell in water 😭 and I didn’t back anything up but it’s here it also took a while cause I don’t really like how it turned out im having major writers block so some feedback would be great ps. Thank you for the likes and reposts it means a lot to me

I couldn’t sleep all night after Cesar told me that Oscar is getting out tomorrow. I don’t know what to expect or what’s gonna happen. I cuddled up on the couch as I thought back to when Oscar and I were younger. Him and I had always known each other, not personally but my house was down the street from his, so when I would walk to school, I would walk past his house . As we got older, Oscar and I always exchanged glances but we never talked.

I had never even told my friends about the glances that we shared, he didn’t tell his friends either, it was just something between us. I can still remember when one day I saw him with those beautiful dark curls and the next day it was all gone. Or when I saw his Santos tattoo for the first time.

I always thought Oscar was attractive but I wouldn’t ever dare act on it. He was a santo and I was a goody two-shoes, I never thought he was interested in me. I was the complete opposite of the ideal girl for him in the position he was in as a santo. But he didn’t care about that. He was different. He is different.

But, I’m concerned about how Oscar getting out is gonna affect Cesar. He seemed real distant after he told me that Oscar is getting out. I’m scared about what’s gonna happen

Cesar and another santo went to pick Oscar up, I didn't want to stick around for when they would come back so I decided to go to my mom’s house.

“Mija, you can't hide here forever. You’ll have to face him eventually” my mom stated softly as she stroked my hair lovingly.

“I thought you didn’t want me anywhere near him” I stated as I turned to look at her.

“And I don’t, I told you multiple times when you were a teen not to go anywhere near him and that he was no good for you but look where we are now “

I rolled my eyes with a sigh, “ I have Tony, he’s good for me, isn’t he?”

“Well, from what you’ve told me he is but I’m your mom, I know you don’t love him”

“I don’t know how to leave him, he’s been so good to me but he’s just not-“

“He’s not Oscar “ she started cutting me, “ You’re gonna hurt him if you keep lying princess”

“I told myself I’d learn to love him and I will, it’s just taking a while”

My phone buzzed and I looked to see it was a notification from Cesar

Cesar💙: he’s out.. we’re heading back now

I turned my phone off and told my mom I was going to my room. I was gonna relax and take a nice bath and everything was gonna be fine.

I was writing in my journal when I heard a knock on my door and my mom opening the door halfway.

“Caesar is here to see you ,” she smiled softly and patted Cesar on his shoulder.

“ Hey, Cesar” I said to him as I put my notebook in my bedside drawer.

I saw his eyes looked red and I tugged his wrist to sit down on my bed.

“What happened, what’s wrong?”

“Oscar is forcing me into the gang, I don't want to Y/N..”

We both knew this was gonna happen even before Oscar got arrested.

“Do you want me to talk to him even though I really don’t want to see him but you know I’d do anything for you..”

“We both know nothing's gonna change his mind, I’m scared of him, I don’t think even you could change his mind..He asked about you, I think he wants to see you”

I rolled my eyes but I’m not gonna lie and say that didn’t warm my heart. My mom knocked on my door telling me that she was gonna do a quick run at the store and then pass by Geny’s house. My mom and her were very close practically sisters. Cesar and I talked but then he got a message from Oscar so I walked him to the door, but when I opened it, I felt my heart beat a million times more..there he was the love of my life, Oscar Diaz.

Cesar cleared his throat and started walking out “I’ll wait in the car”

The 1966 Cherry red Chevy Impala. Oscar and I share a lot of memories together in that car.

“You’re not gonna give me a welcome home hug”

I finally looked up at him.

“I’m seeing someone Oscar” I stated as I crossed my arm, and looked down. As much as I wanted to hug him and kiss him, I couldn’t.

He chuckled at this “Yea, I’ve heard, but he’s not me, you’re still mine Y/N..”

“Oscar, it’s not the same anymore”