kind of want to revive my rym acc from like 2021 just bc i like talking but i dont like the layout i have but i also dont want to change the pfp bc its maybe one of the oldest pieces of underscores fanart ever and i just cant bring myself to erase that vestige of my middle school self

Hi industrial band Coil thank you for giving me the album “ ape of naples ” for my birthday its all i wanted you are too kind

i cant watch the getting no sleep mv bc i get genuinely sick seeing tinashe kissing a girl whos not me

Sunn O))) stage dive

cant listen to bags anymore without my brain autofilling bluefaces voice

im like whatever the opposite of a hypochondriac is these days … like i freaked out so much about my health as a kid that i got it all out of my system and now nothing alarms me. i just allow the pain and nausea and whatnot to pass thru me. "Im" on twelve ego deaths. and also i endured enough medical misogyny to realize that i kinda never wanna talk to a doctor even if im in unimaginable amounts of pain all the time. all this so as to say i went to the doctor today and ive never been in a situation where the doctor was visibly & audibly more scared about my health than me before but also maybe it does indicate something that ive been incredibly lethargic & ive been having severe constant migraines & i lost 20 pounds in the course of like a month & am now medically underweight for the first time since i was like 11. u ever had to underplay ur symptoms to ur own doctor so she didnt freak out? thats what i was up to today. she ordered me bloodwork & a brain ct which on its own wouldnt be bad but as longtime followers of this blog may know i faint whenever i get bloodwork done. i mean hopefully its some bullshit and even if it is something serious its not like having a panic attack about it will help so. ugh i just wish my body wasnt like this but wishing doesnt do anyone any good so whatever. i have to look at my final high school transcripts and see how it affects my scholarship and then i have to look at the [redacted uni] orientation schedule and wash my sheets and email [redacted] and so on…life goes on

i feel like moving blogs again soon hm

whenever someone is #cancelled for racism ppl always search to try to add more allegations but i dont get why…like the racism is bad enough u dont have to start making some other shit up. u can hate them for being racist and thats it ? idk it just feels like minimizing to me somehow i guess