stuff my mum says

My mother when her hands are full and she wants her smartphone.

Me:*shakes head is disbelief.*

Bro: you know what I need to charge? Me:Your life? Bro: I was going to say my social life. Me: You can't charge if you don't have credit.

*le talking about getting fruit as a birthday cake substitute* Me: Fruit? Nan: Fruit? This is no holy heaven place. On my birthday I WANT SIN. SIN YOU HEAR ME SIIIIIINNNNN. I guess I know where my mom gets it.

Mum: I read it in a tech magazine. Me: you know they also have other publications. Mum:*Genuinely interested* Oh like what? Me: Sasquach Watch, Yeti Today, Nessie News, UFO Go, and Leprechaun Quarterly. Mum: Go to your room you horrible creature.

"Those shorts are fashion."

We were talking about sex toys (don't ask) and she replied how she used to venture to sex toy shops in her Catholic school uniform.

My mother and I were talking this is actually what transpired: Me:Sounds like you have a complaint that you should take up with HR Mother: You don't realize your HR. Me: You must have me mistaken for someone who cares. Mother: *Silent* Me:*best automated voice* Apply cold water to burned area. What the heck is wrong with me? XD

My mother on my poor eyesight: “I guess our ancestors didn’t eat their carrots. Well, I guess they couldn’t since they were slaves.”

We were talking about butterflies and how they dissolve in the cocoon and my mother keeps on interrupting me by saying pretty butterfly.

My mum didn't think that I knew the words to Kurt Cobain's Teen Spirit.... She was wrong so wrong. You could say it was 'a denial.'

My mum on occasion will talk in her sleep. This is fine but sometimes she giggles..... and calls her dream companion professor.

There's a possibility that I'm a younger sibling as my mum pointed out that she could have cryogenically froze my supposed younger brother then had me.