reg-arcturus:
he didn’t know if he wanted sirius to hug him or not - he was already crying, that was bad enough, if sirius hugged him he might fall completely apart. did he want that? he came closer, and regs could feel his body tense up again, and somewhere deep in his chest he felt the familiar ache that said he needed to breathe, needed to relax, needed to unclench his fists, his jaw, as sirius’ words sank over him all in the same moment. sirius was never scared of anything, and to hear that, to hear that he wasn’t a shitty brother (he was, and he knew it, but he would take it), to be suddenly enveloped in sirius and his arms, and his hold… regulus sank into the hug against all odds. for a brief moment, all the noise in his head stopped. he wasn’t angry, he wasn’t broken, he wasn’t bitter. everything was quiet, and nothing hurt, and he felt his arms tightening around his brother as he managed to return the embrace - and that was about where regulus faded back in, realizing that he and sirius were practically trying to make lemonade out of this hug, and he found himself laughing through the tears that still fell (albeit more slowly now). “i think you’d like my choices, actually,” he said, and it didn’t matter that the words were a little muffled by the crying laughter, or the fact that regs had buried his face n his brother’s neck. “I just.. i don’t..” he shifted, not letting go of sirius, but raising his head so he could speak clearly. “don’t write me off, si. i’m not done…cooking, or whatever, i know i still…there’s a lot i have to figure out, and i get it wrong sometimes but i’m still me, you know? and there’s some things you really need a brother for.. like asking girls out you bastard,” it’s the sudden example that makes him laugh again, pushing back from sirius to lob a soft (it’s a subjective term) punch to his shoulder. “you massive dick, you’re useless, you know that? i mean, you’re not,” he adds, more seriously (HA) “i just… brothers, yeah?” the shrug is sheepish, as is the grin and remainders of laughter, but he pulls his brother back for another squeeze before letting go properly and stepping back t bring order back into his look. “i’ve been making a lot of choices lately, and maybe some of them aren’t the best, but one of them was that i wasn’t going to be accepting outside opinions or decisions on who i wanted to be with. obviously, i mean, duh, we know that means syb, but, that applies to you too, you know? on my side is where i’ve always wanted you to be, and now you just have to…. i don’t know, be patient with me while i learn how to be on yours even when it doesn’t line up with everyone else’s maths. if you can be patient that long, i know anything over twenty minutes is hard for you.”
The relief that flooded through Sirius when he felt Reg return his hug almost caused him to break down. If he had been rejected...well, that might have been the thing to make Sirius lose it completely. But he hadn’t been rejected and he clung onto his brother and he didn’t want to let go. Because the naive part of him still believed that if he could just hold onto him then he could protect Regulus from everything. But, that wasn’t possible anymore no matter how much it pained him to admit that. It was a scary world and he couldn’t shield his brother from everything, no matter how much he wished he could. And he needed to come to terms with that. Maybe once he finally did things would be better. For both of them. “Dunno, you managed the girl thing just fine without me around it seems.” He managed to say with a laugh but now that he wasn’t clinging onto Regulus he realised that he had been crying and he quickly rubbed at his eyes. “We are always brother, no matter what happens.” He promised and he had never meant anything more in his life. “And I won’t judge your choices, Reg. No matter what they are. Because...because I know that I made the harder of the two, okay? It would have been easier for me to stay and I could have done what they wanted me too. But...but that didn’t feel right and I just want you to make the choices that make you feel right. And I’ll be on your side completely no matter if they match up to my choices or not. I’m here if you need my help. Cause I get it. I get what the pressure feels like and I’m sorry you have these choices to make cause of me. But whenever you need me, I’ll be there. No matter what.” He just needed Reg to know how much he meant what he was saying. He would go running to his brothers aid at the slightest call for help and he wouldn’t even think twice about it. Ever. He couldn’t just switch off being a big brother, not that he wanted too. But it hurt him to know the stress Regulus must be under, and he felt guilty for putting that on his shoulders. He just hoped that they would be okay from now on so he could try and make it right. “You are such a dick.” He laughed, shaking his head lightly as he shoved his brothers shoulder. “I’m not that bad. You gotta give me like...thirty minutes at least.” He joked and it felt so good to make a joke with by brother again.


















