Musings from a Quiet World

Taken from the children's horror/comedy film starring Eddy Murphy. Tw for horror, unreality, death, religion, and mentions of heaven and hell. Change tenses and pronouns as necessary and enjoy, thank you!

"The butler did it? You got to be kidding me!"

"Evil and darkness have fallen this night. But now, to survive, you must gain new sight."

"I could swear he was looking right at me."

"Nothing takes twenty minutes."

"Oh, I see. You're just going to sit there, feeling sorry for yourself."

"You try. You fail. You try. You fail. But the only true failure is when you stop trying."

"Look, I don't make the rules, OK? I just work here."

"There are worse things than purgatory, madame. I can assure you."

" If you keep driving, you'll kill us all."

"It smells like Grandma's house."

"They're not ghosts. We're just having hallucinations from that dinner that we ate."

"You can't help the dead, honey. They're beyond help. That's the nature of being dead."

"This house has waited so long to have its shrouds of darkness lifted."

"Can you not sense it? Search your heart! I am your one true love! And now we can finally be together, don't you understand?"

"We're going to heaven. You can't take it with you."

"Well, some people have swimming pools, others have private cemeteries. It can happen."

"Was love my mistake?"

"They're trespassers. Trespassers don't get cookies!"

"To love someone so much and then to lose them so suddenly. I can't imagine how awful that must be."

"If you truly love someone, they never leave. They remain in your heart forever."

"Maybe you should read this before you stab somebody."

"You wanna kill me, kill me. But listen, when I come on the other side, I'm gonna just be whipping your ass for all eternity."

"Don't you make no dark spirits come out!"

"How wonderful. You're going to kill a ghost."

"Excuse me, why are all these ghosts still hanging around here?"

"Life, I'm afraid, is such a delicate state."

"The storm has flooded the road. There will be no leaving the mansion tonight!"

"Sometimes, when you step into a house, you know straight away whether it's good."

Taken from the feelgood comedy-drama starring Brittany Murphy and Dakota Fanning, about an uptight little girl and her wild new nanny who teach each other how to act their own age, each needing the other to help her overcome the pain of their respective youths. TW for emetophobia, crude language, and slut-shaming. Change pronouns and tenses as necessary, and enjoy!

"Every story has an end. But in life, every ending is just a new beginning."

"You can have your job back, you know."

"When I'm not ready, you hunt me down. When I try and make it work, you're not interested!"

"All you do is take, and I've got nothing for you right now, so maybe it's time to start thinking about someone other than yourself."

"Freestyle is for moronic little kids and hippie freaks."

"Kid, have you ever been to a shrink?"

"I'm not going anywhere, especially with you."

"We are going to sit in giant teacups and spin round and round in circles until we puke!"

"When you work for me, you leave when I say you can leave."

"Act your age, not your shoe size."

"When you're mad you don't miss people, and if you stay mad, it's like you never knew them at all."

"Have you gone mad? There is never, ever an excuse for hitting another person. What is going on?"

"Excuse me, Thumbelina, but you're still a little underage to be clubbing, aren't you?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving without an explanation."

"You don't give her respect. You give her whatever she asks for so that you don't have to deal with her."

"He was going to be my curry diner one night in Bangkok, but we fell in love."

"Are you still moping over that disgusting guy?"

"Other people always let you down. Why don't you forget them and do something for yourself?"

"Maybe some of us aren't good at anything."

"What's so great about being a grown-up anyway? So I can turn out like you?"

"Fruit punch? Why don't you just drink cyanide? At least it's quick."

"If you refuse to have a nice time with me, I'm going to have fun by myself."

"Fine, see if I care. I'll live off water and sunshine."

"This is so 80's it makes my hair poof."

"Some fairy tales are true, most of there stories we make up to help us deal with real life; it all depends on your point of view."

"Look at the one-hit wonder that slut turned out to be."

"As my best friend, it is your duty not to lie to me. Please tell me, am I turning into a hideous hag?"

"Hay, you want to pick up bacterial meningitis or polio, you go ahead and be my guest. Whatever diseases you're already carrying probably make those sound like a joke, anyway."

"This place is beyond its normal grotesque. It's post-nuclear."

Sentence starters taken from the surrealist comedy cartoon of the same name. Change tenses and pronouns as necessary, and enjoy~!

"Crackpots and weirdos!? Count me in!"

"They ain't the bravest heroes, but they're the only ones we've got!"

"Time to cut a muffin!"

"Don't mess with the princess!"

"That sounds nasty for some reason."

"Do you require assistance loading these into your tear in the space-time continuum?"

"What is it!? A spider!? Is something burning!? Is it on me!? I don't see it! Is it invisible!? Are invisible spiders crawling on me and burning!?"

"I knew love was blind, but I didn't know it was stupid, too!"

"Somebody get me out of here! This stump's got worms in it!"

"Why must I destroy? Why do I feel such rage? Why do I persist in doing this atrocious comb-over, when I'm obviously balding. I mean, seriously, who am I fooling?"

"I don't like to wear my glasses when I'm committing unspeakable acts of evil. They make me look bookish."

"Shall I tell you of last night's dream? Dark forms came to me, whispering of unspeakable atrocities."

"They're also famous for being about as smart as the stuff you scoop out of a pumpkin."

" We've had a little fun with dental hygiene today, but it's no laughing matter."

"Ah, fudge. Truly it is the greatest of the brown-colored fruits."

" I had that dream again. The one, where I do terrible things, to penguins, with a croquet mallet."

"I'm a monster! An evil, bloodthirsty, uncivilized monster! Who's totally in love with you!"

"I'm the master of all evil. THE MASTER OF ALL EVIL! I can't help it if I have an adorably, curly tail."

"What if I hang you from tree, and learn you new game called, "Piñata?"

"Well, when you fight evil, sometimes you're gonna get put in a fiendish deathtrap from which you have to heroically escape at the last instant."

"I'll show them! Heads will roll! Excruciating punishments will be enacted! Wedgies will be given!"

"In the end it wasn't strength that won, it was careful attention to laundry instructions."

"Would they be nice to him or would they poke him and call him Jasper?"

"Here's a fork so you can EAT YOUR WORDS!"

Starter sentences taken from the horror/comedy starring Kelli Maroney and Catherine Mary Stewart as sisters who survive a zombie apocalypse started by the titular comet. TW for weapons, cursing, violence, the end of the world/civilization, dark existential themes, death, and possible sexual references. Change pronouns and tenses as necessary, and enjoy!

"See, this is the problem with these things. [NAME] would have gotten us Uzis."

"I'm not crazy, I just don't give a fuck."

"It was the longest three weeks of my life."

"You were born with an asshole, [NAME], you don't need [OTHER NAME.]"

"The whole burden of civilization has fallen upon us."

"That's totally stupid, there's nobody here! See, we're talking ghost town!"

"God, I'm sorry but you shouldn't cross against the light like that."

"If he calls, you tell him that I'm on my way over, and that I'm very, very, very, very pissed."

"Do you have your MasterCard on you?"

"Why are you so weirded out?"

"Yeah, alright, well, just be back by midnight, okay?"

"Hey, you guys are survivors too, huh?"

"In 1910, Halley's Comet Returned. Everyone thought they were going to die then."

"You're not gonna blame me because the phone went dead. I'm not the phone company. Nobody's the phone company anymore!"

"Uh, couldn't we just, like, leave?"

"What are you going to do when your complexion freaks out? Dermatologist is dead, ya know?"

"Hey, I'm sorry if the end of the world makes me a little nervous."

"I don't know, my parents told me never to breathe anything from strangers."

"Listen, don't be an overachiever. You'll fit in better with your age group."

"You wouldn't believe what we want from you. In your worst nightmare, you wouldn't believe."

"Have you ever been hit with Dots? Milk Duds? Those things hurt, you know!"

"I don't want those weirdos ripping up the seats."

"Look, if you're trying to scare me, you're doing it okay?"

"You'll just fall asleep, and then you'll see Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny."

"You try calling someone. Not just your pep squad. Anyone."

"Let's play a game, it's called scary noises."

"If bachelorette number one isn't out here in half a tick, I'm gonna ice bachelorette number two, got it?"

"What about my 15 bucks?"

"Geez! There goes the neighborhood."

"I don't have to see the results of the blood test. I can guess what they say about that one."

"Sweetheart, you haven't seen any of those freaked out zombies running around out there?"

"Hey! If you're going to throw those guns away, can I have one?"

"You'd be worth a lot more than $15. Everybody knows that."

"Back off! This sweater cost 80 bucks!"

"We had a couple of geniuses at school... they're both wimps."

"The MAC-10 submachine gun was practically designed for housewives."

Starter Sentences taken from my favorite songs from the band Interpol. TW for death, snakes, fire, and religious references. Change tenses and pronouns as necessary and enjoy!

"Heaven restores you in life "

"You're coming with me, through the aging, the fearing, the strife."

"Right, will take you places; yeah, maybe to the beach."

"I'm sensitive to fate, not denial."

"But hey, who's on trial?"

"Why can't we just look the other way?"

"I could take you places."

"Do you need a new man?"

"Make revision to a dream."

"You're weightless; you are exotic."

"You need something for which to care."

"It's a sentimental jury and the makings of a good plan."

"You've come to love me lightly."

"Are these motions everlasting or do shudders pass in the night?"

"You need someone to take you there."

"Why can't we just play the other game?"

"Come and see me, and maybe you'll die."

"I can keep you in artwork; the fluid kind."

"That's enough for excitements today."

"Open up and enlighten again!"

"Enjoy the skyline, it's an incremental end."

"It's my way or they all leave."

"Nature’s subjected to fires again."

"He barely has to seek repentants."

"You're up in the trees like a heathen."

"Are you out of your head?"

"Won’t you come along with me?"

"The snake in the reeds had me reeling."

The smoke in the sky is clear in your eye."

"Mountain child, you are my queen in white!"

"Show me what it is; what you use it for."

"I’ve seen you so high, like a meteor!"

"I wanna live at home, but this time keeps moving backwards."

"I’m a kind of hero!"

"What did we used to rule back then?"

"Spare me the suspense."

"I got no currency, but I'm heaven-sent!"

"I won't let you sit by, so cold in the pitch night."

"Alone, you can't make amends."

"You wait till you know that it's time."

"It's different now that I'm poor and aging."

"I'll never see this place again..."

"If I get there early will it be the right time?"

"Our heaven is just waiting, so put your hand into mine."

"If I get too surly will you take that in stride?"

Starter sentences taken from the cult classic dark comedy starring Kathleen Turner. TW for violence, profane and slightly ableist language, and sexual references. Change tenses and pronouns as necessary and enjoy!!

"I tell you right there I saw blood on the bottom of her shoes, not exactly blood, it was gore, hanging there like a runny nose."

"The only "serial" I know anything about is Rice Krispies."

"Jesus said nothing to condemn capital punishment as he hung on the cross, did he?"

"I have told her and told her. It takes ninety to a hundred years for a tin can to decompose, and she still won't recycle."

"I hate her guts. You know, somebody ought to kill her."

"You can't wear white after Labor Day!"

"No! Please! Fashion has changed!"

"I've read all about this. Is it menopausal?"

"[NAME], is your wife mental?"

"I don't know what it is about today but I feel great. Cookie?"

"Proceed with caution. She is armed and fuckin' nuts!"

"Hey, can I borrow your mother? My Aunt is coming for dinner and she's always getting on my nerves."

"Keep the change, you son of a psycho!"

"I don't like to read about movies. They're so violent."

"I should warn you. This note contains, uh, language."

"I'm sorry, but we don't allow gum in this house."

"Did you see that? She just said "Fuck you" to me!"

"Let the records show I'm merely standing here!"

"I'm so happy I could shit."

"So what are we waiting for, fellow Christians? Let's just do it."

Because I can't find one anywhere, these are mostly taken from the OBC soundtrack. Tw for unhealthy relationships, implied infidelity, obsessive behavior, and other generally questionable behavior. Change tenses and pronouns as necessary and enjoy!

"My hands pluck the things I know that I'll need."

"Down with the recipe, and bake from the heart."

"Simple question, so then what's the answer?"

"I don't know what I wish I had, but there's no time now for thinking things like that!"

"I wouldn't call this place a happy end, but I've been 'round the block and just came back again!"

"Sometimes home is where your ass ends up."

"On days like these, we can only do the best we can."

"I love that red dress! The way it sparkles, it looks like an ice-skating outfit!"

"Funny how one night can ruin your whole life!'

"I do stupid things when I drink, like sleep with my husband."

"Even doubt can be delicious."

"When it's done, I can smile."

"I'll make it small so it fits, even this, even now."

"Every door we ever made, we never once walked out!"

"Better never lasts forever."

"Nevermind what's underneath it."

"I'll show them all how goddamn happy I am!"

"I stick with real things; usually facts and figures."

"When information's in its place it helps to minimize the guessing game."

"What if when he sees me, what if he doesn't like it?"

"What if he runs the other way and I can't hide from it?"

"What happens then if when he knows me, he's only disappointed?"

"What if I give myself away to only get it given back?"

"I can't risk reckless dating due to my miscalculating."

"You cannot be too careful when it comes to sharing your life."

"He could have masterminded some way to find me!"

"I'm not prepared for that, I'm scared of breaking open!"

"Still, I can't help from hoping to find someone to talk to, who likes the way I am."

"If pies were books, yours would be Shakespeare's letters."

"Sometimes one bite is more than enough to know you want more of the thing you just got a taste of."

"So much is happening, and mostly to me."

"A dream needs believing to taste like the real thing."

"Dreams are elusive; the kind we've gotten used to is."

"Hold them and keep them, and know that you need them."

"May we all be so lucky."

"A dream is a soft place to land."

"I will never let you let me leave!"

"I'm gonna do this right, show you I'm not moving!"

"Whatever you go, I won't be far to follow!"

"'I love you' means you're never, ever, ever getting rid of me!"

"I grew up an only child in the suburb of a city."

"It's a bad idea, me and you."

"Hold me close while I think this through."

"What if I never see myself ever be anything more than what I've already become?"

"Let's face it, making mistakes like this will make worse what was already pretty bad."

"It was a pretty good bad idea, wasn't it though?"

"No reason to throw it away when there's love to be had."

"Go ahead, throw your rocks at me from your little glass house, and then take off running!"

"I don't claim to be proud, but my head won't be hung in shame!"

"It's not what I wanted, but now that it's right here, I understand it."

"Look around you, ain't no saints here, baby."

"We're all just looking for a little less crazy."

"I'm sick of the way I've been waiting to break free!"

"I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes; they've seen things you never quite say, but I hear."

"Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you, and I'll stay there as long as you'll let me."

"You matter to me. Simple and plain, and not much to ask from somebody."

"All of this time I've been keeping my mind on the running away."

"Time's just sand slippin' past."

"No one ever sees what falls through the cracks."

"I don't believe in silver linings, but I believe there's something in you. Something good is trying to break through."

"Bet it all on yourself at least one time."

"Win or lose, it's one hell of a ride!"

"Most days, I don't recognize me."

"I'm not anything like I used to be."

"Sometimes life just slips in through a back door, and carves out a person who makes you believe it's all true."

"If I'm honest, I know I would give it all back for a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two."

"Who I am has disappeared."

"It doesn't matter, now you're here!"

"I was lost for you to find. Now I'm yours, and you are mine."

"An unsung melody is mine for safekeeping."

"Starting here, and starting now, I can feel the heart of how everything changes."

"Sometimes what is, is meant to be."

"In the blink of an eye, there's a new life in front in my face."

"I know in due time, every right thing will find its right place."

"Every day falls in line, learning to love what's on the inside."

Sentence starters taken from the comic strip icon and master of the nonsequitur, Bill Griffith's Zippy the Pinhead. Change pronouns and tenses as necessary, and enjoy!

"Are we having fun yet?"

Somewhere in downtown Duluth, a plumber is over-cooking a pork chop."

"All life is a blur of Republicans and meat!"

"If you can’t say something nice, say something surrealistic!"

I just accepted provolone into my life."

"I think I’m having a mid-week crisis."

"Laundry is the fifth dimension."

"I believe in wash fulfillment."

"Treasure your spin cycle."

"You can’t hurt me, I entered the Twilight zone."

"Madonna owns my building!"

"I am protected by the power of stain-reistant Scotchguard!"

"Stop in the name of Warren Beatty!"

"Imagine France without Jerry Lewis."

"I’m demographically correct."

"I just became one with my browser software."

"Virtual reality isn’t what it used to be."

"I want a mega-meal in a mega-mall."

"Adopt my lifestyle, or I’ll have to press charges."

"I’m afraid! I need something in a heavy cream sauce."

"I can silence [NAME] with a single slice of Kraft cheese."

"Zombies rule Belgium."

"Frivolity is a stern taskmaster."

"I’m [NAME] and I’m totally committed to the festive mode."

"Could you repeat that in Portuguese?"

"I just felt a paradigm shift."

"I bowl, therefore I am."

"Feelings are cascading over me."

"Glazed donuts are the building blocks of the universe."

"Nobody brings small problems into a laundromat."

"Consciousness is vastly overrated."

"I hope my sensitive female side is wearing sensible leather pumps."

"Reality distorts my sense of television."

"I just forgot my Social Security number.

"In 1962, you could buy a pair of shark-skin slacks and a continental belt for 10.99!"

"I don't understand the humor of the Three Stooges."

Starter sentences from the 2005 Capcom cult classic, Haunting Ground. TW for violence, horror, implied mistreatment of an animal, mentions of birth and wombs. Change tenses and pronouns as necessary, and enjoy!

"This isn't real… it's just a dream. This can't be happening to me!"

"I've decided to put my fears behind me. I'm not going back."

"I've gathered some clothes for you."

"Where is you?!"

"A small present from the lord of the manor…"

"It feels almost like it was custom-tailored to fit me."

"Call me old-fashioned, but I would prefer a normal set of clothes to bed sheets."

"You saved me. Now it's my turn to help you. I won't forget this."

"It's not like you are going to find the Boogieman under there."

"I have to get away! I don't have time for this!"

"Go, now. And don't get caught this time!"

"I can't believe there are people out there that would do this to a poor helpless animal."

"You should be pitied, not hated."

"I could have been killed! I guess fate was smiling on me today."

"She keeps staring at herself in the mirror like she hates herself or something."

"You said sit, so I did. So please...Don't leave me here."

"Only a fool would even think of going back now!"

"Why are you after me?! What do you WANT?!"

"That, my dear, is what you will become in the future."

"I hold invaluable information from the dawn of time."

"You miserable wench! You were given the greatest gift of all and you don't even appreciate it."

"Fate brought you back to me! And now you are mine!"

"She's right there, stupid. What good is hiding in the closet going to do now?"

"Just one more strange happening that I don't even want to try to guess at."

"This time, you really are dead. You bastard."

"I leave the entirety of my legacy in this room."

"Why must I kill just to keep myself alive?"

"And you are allowed to do that because you are a precious, precious little princess."

"My creator said he made me the perfect woman."

"You are mine, I own you!"

"Looks like a dead end, dear. How unfortunate."

"Have you longed for me as I long for you?"

"I am not complete."

"Is he head-butting the wall? And I thought I had problems."

"If I sit down here, I bet I would be hard to find. Not that there is any dire need for me to do so right this second or anything."

"I still sense a presence inside the room. Best to trust my instincts and not go in."

"My dolly!"

"You've had a long day, please, rest upstairs. Your bed has been prepared."

"Don't worry, I do not intend to kill you."

"Preparations for dinner are complete, Master."

"You've been very naughty, [NAME]. You're causing me much grief."

"Your effort is for naught. How long do you plan to keep this up?"

"Oh my. What a filthy little princess."

"Looks like you've gotten yourself lost, child."

"There's something I've wanted to show you for quite some time. Pull away that sheet behind you!"

Sentence starters from the album The Eye. TW for alcohol, murder, violence, and mentions of religion. Change pronouns and tenses as necessary and have fun!

"It's so cold inside on this summer's night; black clouds in the sky dancing before my eyes."

"I'm losing track of time."

"Another glass of wine to heat the blood of mine."

"I'm going back in time."

"You stand accused before the burning court for practicing witchcraft."

"We have ways to make you talk."

"I never did any harm to anyone. I don't believe this."

"Now I hear deceiving, lying tongues!"

"You're the Devil's child!"

"I see a smile on their wicked faces!"

"They seem to play an evil game, a game that doesn't have a name."

"If only they could see beyond the ground they play on."

"The kind of horror that she saw, made her choke forevermore!"

"No one cared and no one ever will!"

"Unfold your wildest dreams."

"It's time to join and sing, let the feast begin!"

"Welcome to my quarters, do come inside."

"Drink my sweet, holy wine."

"What's going on behind these walls?"

"Oh, it's a shame, they went along with his game."

"I know what you're thinking, I can see through your brain!"

"I know what you're doing, even though I'm far away."

Sentence starters taken from the ridiculous comedy starring Keenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell. Change tenses and pronouns as necessary!

"I'm worried about you, too. Have you seen yourself lately?"

"I don't even remember what my dad looks like."

"The manager already knows my name."

"[BLANK] must look awfully strange naked."

"I'm hosting a family reunion and my oven has run amuck; I think it's the heat actuator."

"Why would they want to harm those innocent sharks?"

"You're not like other people are you?"

"Okay, now this "grinder" of yours. Is it a real grinder or is it just some kind of metaphor?"

"What's wrong? Were you bitten by a sheep?"

"Look, you are an unusually bad guesser, so I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you why I'm upset."

"Boy, you must really suck!"

"I know some of these words."

"Can you get me to a hospital? I think I broke my ass."

"Have small space aliens ever landed in your brain and told you to break into the zoo and free the kangaroos?"

"I don't know who you are or where I've seen you before or why you think you're an attractive nurse!"

"You see, right about now, I'd slap you right across your head, but I don't think your brain would understand the concept of pain."

"The boy showed up for work without his pants!"

"I should've died years ago."

"How do you like me now? I'm a dude throwing ice cream! Yeah! Here's vanilla! Take some chocolate! Yeah! Fudge!"

"That's it? Well, I suppose I could always feed my mother cat food."

"What is this, American Gladiators?"

" I just tackled some old lady."

"How can I not like her? She's smart, fun, beautiful and cuddly."

"Nobody's ever abbreviated my name before. I love that!"

"It makes me glad I'm not dead."

"Your head hit my golf ball. Then you went sleepy-bye."

"I never figured you as much of a thinker."

Send my muse an anonymous letter, from and to anyone and everyone you can imagine, and my muse will respond as if they found it. It can be anything, from an admission of love to a poison pen, as long as the mun's rules are respected.

Send my muse '🎟️' for a one-time permission to indulge in any asshole behavior they desire without consequences!

Starters taken from the famously campy episode of Mystery Science Theater, I Accuse My Parents, a story of lies, gullibility, and a very important essay contest. Change pronouns and tenses as necessary and enjoy!

"Now, carefully, hand over the hamburger sandwich."

"I've decided. I'm gonna do something really stupid!"

"I want to experience the world of emotions and feelings!"

"You'd get beat up 'cause you're a freak."

"Yes Satan, speak to me through this song!"

"Eleanor Roosevelt's pissed!"

"That's my dad. He's all-powerful! His hands are made of stainless steel and he has lasers that shoot out of his chest."

"How do you like my swingin' church, son?"

"Mirror mirror on the wall. Can I make it to last call?"

"Let’s take you back to the days when DDT was safe."

"Son, it's been two months and you haven't touched your hamburger."

"Sir, I just don't understand the Holy Spirit. Is it a bird?"

"I'd like to deposit some guilt, and withdraw some denial."

"If I had parents, I'd accuse them right now!"

"I’m gonna build a blimp and fight the Nazis!"

"Can I show you something in a size me?"

"I was torn from the thigh of Zeus."

"Boy, she’s really rocking this mother isn’t she?"

"He’s taking to selling his essays on the street."

" I’m just gonna run away! I got peanut butter and underwear and that’s all I need!"

"That's it. There's a six pack calling my name."

"Oh, so that's why the guy on the bus was looking at me all funny!"

"I've got to control my urges!"