the loud thunderer

“It’s a struggle for all men to achieve mine.”

“All men is really a stretch for you dear.”

I could could on one hand the number of trials that have actually gone fucking fairly. Let’s not focus on the girl whose life was destroyed, let’s focus on the poor monsters and how they’ve lost their football scholarships because they committed a goddamn crime. Men have gone on killing sprees because women won’t spread their legs but because women are the overemotional freaks because we have the nerve to complain about not being treated like actual human beings. Being able to walk down the street without one hand on my keys and the other on a can of mace would be so nice. But you know what would be nicer? Not getting blamed for our own rapes or murders.

Yes, those poor boys had so much potential. Let’s focus on them and how growing up they were such good kids. You know how it is, boys will be boys. Never mind respect for the girl nor condolences for her loved ones, the abusers are the real victims here. It is appalling. Then news stations have the nerve to justify the killings when the shooter blatantly says “I’m a 24 year old virgin, women owe me.” I almost forgot my purpose on this earth is to please a man and clearly if no woman doesn’t give one what they want it is their fault. This is centuries old logic after all. Also don’t forget teach boys not to rape or murder. It really isn’t that hard.

“No need to apologize, your exotic impulses are very charming. Merci mademoiselle. If only I hear the same compliment from native French speakers. C'est la vie.”

“So you’re telling me my beard isn’t nearly good enough? I’m insulted.”

"Well, I’m not saying that necessarily. Your beard is adequate enough to be considered attractive. I think it’s a struggle for all men to achieve Chris’s level of attractiveness.”

“What? You know you’re the only girl for me.” He grinned and kissed her temples. “Or so those tabloid said some years ago.” He chuckled. “But you’re not any other girl, you’d love to grow them than have it in a bouquet. I know you well enough and please, I think about you all the time.”

"Honestly, do we even need anyone else besides each other? The rest of the boys can survive on their own.” Pushpita laughs lightly. “That was really something. It wasn’t like we gave them reason to believe otherwise.” She shrugged. “You aren’t wrong. Do you know men have given me bouquets before? When they knew I was a florist. It’s the thought that counts, I suppose. Tch, only so you can spoil me.”

“I would have cheered you on and helped you.  I’m sorry I didn’t stop in earlier.” 

"It sure is comforting to have such support. Throw two plants at him instead of one. Let’s pray it doesn’t happen again, though if it does you will be the first person I call to come by.”

“At least the ranunculuses were arranged rather beautifully, though it is odd to see them outside a bouquet. And the hyacinths were lovely, don’t you think?”

"I lost sleep over how they’d come out, you saw how much of a mess I was at work. It came out... Different. That’s the charm to them and the rest of the piece. Of course! Those mixed with the daffodils was a good call.”

“Besides Chris and Ryan? Hm, Idris Elba. Hands down. Matt Damon. Pedro Pascal. I don’t watch Game of Thrones but I mean I appreciate his face. Honestly, and people wonder why I roll my eyes when I don't give every guy I see a chance! I don’t need men like that within ten feet of me.”

Eyes: Blue | Green | Brown | Hazel | Grey | Other Hair: Blonde | Brown | Black | Red | Ginger | Grey/White | Multi-color | Other Body Type: Skinny | Slender | Slim | Built | Curvy | Athletic | Muscular Skin: Pale | Light | Fair | Freckled | Tan | Olive | Medium | Dark | Discolored Gender: Male | Female | Trans | Cis | No Gender | Other Sexuality: Heterosexual | Homosexual | Bisexual | Pansexual | Asexual | Demisexual | Other Species: Human | Undead/Vampire | Shapeshifter (Weres) | Demon | Angel | Witch/Wizard/Sorcerer | Incubus/Succubus | Other | God/dess Education: High School | College | University | Higher Education Living Situation: Lives alone | Lives with parents/guardian | Lives with significant other | Lives with a friend | Drifter | Homeless Parents/Guardian: Mom | Dad | Aunts | Foster | Grandparents | Family friend I’ve been: In Love | Hurt | Sick | Abused I have a(n): Learning Disorder | Personality Disorder | Mental Disorder | Anxiety Disorder | Eating Disorder | Substance-related Disorder | N/A Things I’ve done before: Drank alcohol | Smoked | Done drugs | Stolen | Self harmed | Starved myself | Had sex | Had a threesome | Gotten into a fist fight | Gone to the hospital | Gone to jail | Used a fake ID | Gone to a rave | Killed someone Positive Traits: Affectionate | Adventurous | Athletic | Brave | Careful | Charming | Confident | Creative | Determined | Fearless | Generous | Honest | Humorous | Intelligent  | Loyal | Modest | Patient | Selfless Negative Traits: Aggressive | Bossy | Cynical | Envious | Fearful | Greedy | Gullible | Jealous | Impatient | Impulsive | Insecure | Irresponsible | Possessive | Sarcastic | Self-conscious | Selfish | Unstable Relationship: Single | Crushing | In Love | Dating | Engaged | Married | Separated | It’s complicated  Usual expression/Mood:

Oh I apologize, my dear. I didn’t realize that you were a florist, and this was done by you? My, my.. quite critical of yourself aren’t you? You should be proud of your work. But as for Morris – I really don’t think the cost of his suits accounts for anything, do you? But nonetheless, he needs to dress his age rather than as a young thirty year old. He looks just ridiculous. Of course, I have met him and really do enjoy his acquaintanceship, but he needs to do something about this.

I’m positive there are people out there who are very passionate about plants. I’m passionate about tea though I’ve never worked with it. Well, thank you. It’s easier said than done really. It deserves to be weighed in a little. Rich and famous people can get away with a ton of fashion crises, look at Lady Gaga. It could be worse. He could dress in something not even appropriate for the decade from his college years. I understand where you’re coming from this, slightly. I will talk to him if it will put your mind at rest. 

Beautiful. What an appropriate word, considering the beauty that surrounded him now. (The flowers. Of course he meant the flowers, he told himself. What else could he mean?) He smiled slightly to cover the thoughts racing through his head. “I do not know if it is sweet. But it is tradition, and it is family.” Was it sweet as well? It was certainly not the way he would describe it, but perhaps from another’s perspective, it could be true.

"To someone who does not practice the tradition, it seems sweet. Are there any specific loved ones you try to guide? Or is it more general with your ancestors?” It takes several moments of gesticulating limbs and humming lightly over to the front desk before she gasps. “You don’t have to tell me about anyone you may have lost if you don’t want to. That was terribly intrusive of me.” A worried look flashes over her face before Pushpita’s attention turns back to the flowers.

“Ugh I can already feel my self respect go down the more I think about it. If it isn’t a movie, it means nothing to me. No amount of rap battles and catchy funk beats will sway me.” 

"You are so rude. It’s your loss, Zeke. I am going to take Irene to see this show and she is going to love it and sing all the songs to you. Who doesn't enjoy a good rap battle? Folks over sixty, that's who.”

“But I look better than Chris Evans.”

"If we are talking Chris Evans with the beard then you don’t stand a chance, sorry.”