There’s a huge difference between being tired / fatigued and being chronically ill and exhausted / fatigued due to illness.

I know because I wasn’t always sick.

Please, don’t tell disabled / chronically ill people to “just push through” or say something that invalidates their exhaustion (especially if it’s literal energy producing dysfunction) like “ you don’t know tired till you have kids”.

It never goes away

It can’t be cured

Positive thinking doesn’t make it feel better

It’s not in my head

Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there

Just because I’m hanging out and laughing doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt

It hurts ALL THE TIME, and by all the time, I really and truly mean from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to bed.

I decorate my cane to make myself feel better about having to use one, not to entertain anyone else. It does not make me feel good for you to comment on it, even if it’s about how cool it is, because I am PAINFULLY (no pun intended) aware of the fact that I have to use one. I don’t need anyone to remind me, and it’s honestly really irritating. So don’t.

When I say I’m tired, don’t try to relate. It’s not nearly the same thing.

You can’t imagine my pain, so don’t suggest to me how to treat it.

Sometimes I just need to complain, and I prefer not to have advice; I just want to vent.

Sometimes it’s completely overwhelming and I just need you to hold me.

When I don’t go out, it’s not because I don’t want to. When I say I can’t, it’s because I physically can’t.

I’m here. Ily.

Depression Suicide Hotline (US, UK, Canada & Singapore): 1-800-SUICIDE (2433) Suicide hotline (New Zealand): 0800 543 354 Depression hotline: 1-630-482-9696 Suicide Crisis Line: 1-800-999-9999 National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK (8245) National Adolescent Suicide Helpline: 1-800-621-4000 Postpartum Depression: 1-800-PPD-MOMS NDMDA Depression Hotline – Support Group: 1-800-826-3632 Veterans: 1-877-VET2VET Crisis Help Line – For Any Kind of Crisis: 1-800-233-4357 Suicide & Depression Crisis Line – Covenant House: 1-800-999-9999 Domestic Abuse National Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-422-4453 National Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) National Domestic Violence Hotline (TDD): 1-800-787-32324 Center for the Prevention of School Violence: 1-800-299-6504 Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-548-2722 Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse): 1-800-477-4111 Child Abuse Hotline Support & Information: 1-800-792-5200 Women’s Aid National Domestic Violence Helpline (UK): 0345 023 468 Sexual Abuse Centre (UK): 0117 935 1707 Sexual Assault Support (24/7, English & Spanish): 1-800-223-5001 Domestic & Teen Dating Violence (English & Spanish): 1-800-992-2600 Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected] Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight Alcohol & Drug Abuse National Association for Children of Alcoholics: 1-888-55-4COAS (1-888-554-2627) National Drug Abuse: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) Al-Anon/Alateen Hope & Help for young people who are the relatives & friends of a problem drinker): 1-800-344-2666 Alcohol/Drug Abuse Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) Be Sober Hotline: 1-800-BE-SOBER (1-800-237-6237) Cocaine Help Line: 1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463) 24 Hour Cocaine Support Line: 1-800-992-9239 Ecstasy Addiction: 1-800-468-6933 Marijuana Anonymous: 1-800-766-6779 Drinkline (UK): 0800 9178282 Frank (UK): 0800776600 Youth & Teen Hotlines National Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663 Youth America Hotline: 1-877-YOUTHLINE (1-877-968-8454) Covenant House Nine-Line (Teens): 1-800-999-9999 Boys Town National: 1-800-448-3000 Teen Helpline: 1-800-400-0900 TeenLine: 1-800-522-8336 Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663 or 1-800-422-0009 Runaway Support (All Calls are Confidential): 800-231-6946 Childline: (UK Only) 0800 1111 Kids Helpline (Australia) 1800 55 1800 b-eat youthline (UK): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) Pregnancy Hotlines AAA Crisis Pregnancy Center: 1-800-560-0717 Pregnancy Support: 1-800-4-OPTIONS (1-800-467-8466) Pregnancy National Helpline: 1-800-356-5761 Young Pregnant Support: 1-800 550-4900 Gay and Lesbian Hotlines The Trevor Helpline (For homosexuality questions or problems): 1-800-850-8078 Gay & Lesbian National Support: 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564) Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) Youth Support Line: 1-800-850-8078 Lesbian & Gay Switchboard: (UK Only) 0121 622 6589 Lothian Gay & Lesbian Switchboard – Scotland: (Scotland Only) 0131 556 4049 Other Hotlines Self-Injury Support: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288) (www.selfinjury.com) Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention: 1-800-931-2237 (Hours: 8am-noon daily, PST) Eating Disorders Center: 1-888-236-1188 Help Finding a Therapist: 1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274) Panic Disorder Information and Support: 1-800-64-PANIC (1-800-647-2642) TalkZone (Peer Counselors): 1-800-475-TALK (1-800-475-2855) Parental Stress Hotline: 1-800-632-8188 National AIDS Helpline: (UK) 0800 567 123 Samaritans (UK): 08457909090 e-mail [email protected] b-eat eating disorder support (UK): 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected] Mind infoline (UK mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected] Mind legal advice (UK): 0300 466 6463 [email protected] Cruse Bereavement Care (UK): 08444779400 [email protected]

Parents/caregivers saying things like “I wasted so much money on you” and “it takes so much money/effort to take care of you” and “be grateful I’m willing to give this much for you” are wrong.

Yes, it’s expensive (whether financially or physically or emotionally or what have you) to take care of a disabled person, but that is their responsibility. If they’re your parents, they signed up for the job as soon as they had a kid.

Disability is not under your control. It’s not your fault that it’s expensive.