i was a god.

“Of course it matters!”

Jude takes a step back to look her in the face, but he doesn’t let go entirely. He can’t let go. Not after getting her back again. The look he’s giving her is desperate, hoping she’ll listen and hoping he won’t lose her again.

“You’re not the Milla I went on a journey with a year ago–but you’re still you, Miss Milla!”

Understanding that was a difficult journey. It was hard to see someone with Milla’s face, with her same purpose and existence, but not. But she was her own person. Someone that he had grown to love and respect all the same, even if they hadn’t reached the level of friendship he and the other Milla had. 

“The last thing I remember from back home…you…you had died.” His voice goes quiet, and his grip tightens slightly as he remembers her sacrifice. And despite knowing that she and the other Milla couldn’t exist in the Prime Dimension at the same time; despite knowing she’d willingly sacrificed herself… “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”

He was...trying. & while she didn’t know the true extent of the bond that he shared with the ‘other’ one, it was clear that there was something beyond the fact that her existence was still perceived as a duplicate in his own eyes. 

She battles tirelessly with the concept though. You live your whole life believing that you - are you; to find out that you are just one whisper out of many. In some way, that alone gave her some kind of identity, and in a world that denied her, she clung tightly to anything remotely of purpose. That alone, made the idea of letting it slide, so very difficult. Her eyes dart everywhere, only once every couple of seconds returning back to Jude. --He’s speaking & she’s listening, but the words to fight back stick in her throat like sludge.  

And then he says-- he says that he’s sorry for not saving her. 

“—!” he doesn’t have the chance to choke out more than a sound of defeat. with leather shoes coming to a stop against the platform and hands briskly finding their way to his knees, noel doubles over for a long moment. one, two, three. it’s filled with the sound of ragged breath until he’s regained his composure from the full-out run that’d carried him here.

then, he straightens with a sheepish (albeit tired) smile. “i wanted to try taking the train for the first time, too. guess this time of day isn’t the best for touring the city.” he’d personally been trying to see what lay outside this city, but it isn’t something that’s disclosed aloud. instead, a pause follows, and eyes shift in the direction towards which the train had vanished. “where were you headed? i wouldn’t mind the company.”

she stops in her tracks and tilts her head back slightly when he speaks. “ home, i guess. or whatever you want to call that place that we were given. “ waving the question away with her hand. Not that she’s in an incredible rush to go back, the idea of co-habiting a foreign place with three other strangers was definitely not too high on her list of priorities. If anything, it was an excuse. 

“Ah, hello…!” It wasn’t that she hadn’t noticed the woman or heard her, because she did, but honestly? Colette might of been just a little too excited when she picked up the sound on paw pads on the ground as the cat moved in. Feeling the cat happily greet her, Colette smiled gently down at it. 

“Hello, cute one.” She glanced from the cat, up towards the woman. “Is he your cat? Or or, maybe she!” 

     “Hah? Spyrix… technology?” His countenance was filled with perplexed expression, merely raising more questions in his mind after her inquiry. “Spyrix technology or whatsoever, this weapon is more of a modern era kind of weapon.” This felt less threatening compare to that of a real gun but… that should do for a newcomer like him for now- “Spyrix technology sounded like a technology that requires of magic I guess? If ever that’s the case, I would say the weapon I’m using related nothing of to magic. Did you hail from a world that involves magic then…?” After her inquiry, his curiosity was piqued, unknowingly of her weapon type.

         It seemed as if every time there was an eclipse of some sort, Violet had a tendency to sneak outside, hopefully to discover a way back, or at least somewhere better than this. Though she could no longer rely on her powers of invisibility here, her footsteps remained light and careful and her back was arched just slightly. Especially in this city, where god knew what ran around.

         At a woman’s stern voice, Violet literally jumps a few inches off the ground, obviously surprised. “AAAhhh!!” Whirring around to meet the origin of the voice, Violet’s eyes widen and begin to shift as the other’s gaze was fixated on her. 

         “I-I uh…” Quick, think of an excuse! She tries her best to look calm and collected as if she wasn’t sneaking out and probably getting herself into more trouble. She throws a hand on her hip and her other hand gestures as she speaks with pseudo-confidence- “Well the fresh air is especially good tonight. Wouldn’t want to miss breathing in this good, fresh air, right?” -and utterly failing.

“I would have preferred a ‘Honey, I’m home!’ or a hug, but I know you’re not the type for that mushy stuff.” Whether Ludger meant that in jest or seriousness was up for debate. What mattered most was seeing the woman again after so long– it took Milla’s death to get the other Milla out of the Void. Did something intervene and find a way to grant co-existence in the Prime? Or did… no, he’d ruin the moment thinking about that. 

Despite what he said earlier, Ludger took initiative and pulled Milla in for a long, warm hug. If she didn’t like it, she could just push him away. No offense would be taken. 

“Welcome home, Milla.”

Even throughout the sadness that she’d succumbed to, Ludger’s words inspired the shortest grimace from the former lord as he spouted the cringey line. It was strange - almost as if she had been torn between two realities. The one where she was perpetually falling, watching him blink out of existence & the one where she was talking to him now, almost as if nothing had happened. However, she didn’t get the chance to dwell on those thoughts, as the next thing she felt was the warm embrace from him. It was impossible to count the multitude of emotions that took hold of her at that moment, simultaneously overcome with the notion of both throwing him off and staying in his arms. - the latter of which came as a very foreign thought. 

she’d been through a lot - giving herself up for both Ludger & Elle, falling into the void and having to piece herself back together again afterwards. She was, tired and scared - and part of her; whether she realised it or not had come to think of the two of them as a place to return to. 

Lotus peered curiously at the book he spotted, having barely noticed the other person around. There was such interesting looking food on the cover and he couldn’t help but stare, but then he heard her speak.

“…Oh. You were looking at it? No, you should take it. I don’t even know how to cook. It’s probably above my level…” Lotus blinked, not wanting to imagine what his failures might look like.

The lady asked an odd question – ‘do you remember anything before you came here?’.

The technical was yes. Of course he remembered his home, his past. But was that what she meant?–

“I don’t remember anything between being at home and arriving here, if that’s what you mean.”  He spoke softly. The inbetween was too blurred and confused, he didn’t remember how he got here or why, it was a complete daze. His tone raised a little. “Do you?”

@spiritlike

It…couldn’t be her, could it? Jude feels his heart pounding in his chest as he chases after that familiar figure. Without thinking, he reaches out and grabs her by the wrist, stopping her in her tracks and causing her to turn to face him.

“Milla–” The hope is evident in his voice and on his face, but taking in the clothing, the hairstyle. It hits him in an entirely different way. 

“Miss…Miss Milla.”

He thinks he’s starting to cry, although he can’t be certain, seeing her here is causing him to have so many emotions that he honestly doesn’t know how to cope with any of them. Before he has time to think or rethink his actions, he’s hugging her. His grip is so tight, one would almost think he was scared if he let go of her she’d disappear.

“How…how are you here? I-I thought…after Rideaux…”

On reflex she flinches as her wrist is suddenly grabbed, prematurely glaring at the flurry of brown hair that appears before her; it takes a few seconds to decipher as to whom it was before the reality sinks in. 

It was the same look she saw back then, not only from him, but the others that belonged to ‘her’ group. Their eyes shimmered with the faintest bit of hope - hoping that she was the one they were expecting, and yet, she would never be that person. It stung, the thorn digging deeper each and every time. - Even after everything that had happened, it didn’t matter. Dying, being reborn, sacrificing herself, and in the end, she was nothing but a copy. Tears willed themselves at the edges of her eyes in realization of this. 

I’m super stoked regarding building relationships for Milla. Despite her somewhat ‘lone wolf’ exterior; there’s a heart that beats for some sort of connection with others. I’m really curious to explore where things could go, as she’s only had a taste of what a positive family environment is like. (also I love plotting and fleshing out threads a ton!). So if anyone is interested in forming some kind of relationship with Milla, please reply with a number in the replies - or DM me!

1. ACQUAINTANCES: Probably one of the most comfortable positions to be in with her in regards to friendship commitment. She’s caring, but detached. Ideally I suppose it would be something that develops into a friendship over time, but I feel deep down she would enjoy the casual company from time to time. ( cooking classes? ) ( occasional sparring partner? )

2. FRIENDS: Milla has never had the most stable of friendships with others, only discovering what it was like to experience the concept of healthy friendships shortly before she met her demise. I feel once you get past the tough exterior of Milla, there’s such a loyal and devoted friend laying behind that - she’ll have your back no matter what. She just needs to learn how to trust you. 

3. ENEMIES: It’s definitely not a hard task to get on her bad side & while I wouldn’t say she would class them as ‘enemies’ - anyone that definitely has a detriment towards her beliefs ( especially when it concerns spiritkind or involves harming the people she has a soft spot for. ) they will most certainly start climbing that ladder towards enemy status. Once someone’s reached that point, the guard goes up and there’s a very slim chance of it being lowered again past that. 

4. FAMILY: This is definitely one of the more important things I want her to experience. The love & warmth of having people around her that she can trust and they can trust in her in return. The only concepts of family she’s had, have ended with loss & she’s definitely afraid to rekindle something like that again. But I feel having a healthy environment around her, would be so so fulfilling to her character development and would help bring Milla out of her shell. I think most importantly, I want her to have a home. 

Her lips drag into a frown as she muses over the queue ahead; turns out the nearest main grocery store has closed early for the day and everyone’s flocking into the nearest side stores in order to grab what they can before the day is over. Grimacing, her temper rises; people bustling left & right, bumping into her. “ is there any place here that isn’t packed with people? “ she mutters, her mind tracing back to the quiet village of Nia Khera.