Spinning Yarns

i like to see men from the 19th century in a situation

The doctor who performed my vasectomy fixed me.

living a monk lifestyle but like if that monk had a 14 hour daily screentime

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.

And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona

We can't use aircraft because the fbi has access to all the flight data how many times do we need to go over this

This is humanity

Happy Birthday, Curiousity.

Happy birthday, Curiosity.

Happy birthday, Curiosity.

Happy birthday, Curiosity!

rip to c. s. lewis, you would’ve hated ai

I used to set this one for second year undergraduate creative writing seminars on writing science fiction on a double bill with Octavia E. Butler's "Bloodchild" and no-one here gets out alive.

I paused the robot vacuum so I could listen to this 1950’s story predicting the robot vacuum.

the "biblically accurate angel" trend is such a perfect encapsulation of a pet peeve i have which is everybody wants to criticize the bible but nobody wants to read the bible. like when people were drawing crazy amalgamations of eyes and wheels talking to mary and saying "be not afraid" and everybody was like omfggg OF COURSE she was scared. like no actually the angel looked like a guy can you read 3 lines of text... they were saying be not afraid because it's scary when a random man suddenly shows up in your house and starts talking to you

I've been writing a fanfic for a while but I started rereading moby dick recently and upon rereading my fic u can tell exactly when I did