both the hero & the bodega cat

if i had three wishes they would all be to make web 2.0 utterly illegal and go back to normal html

how do we explain to children that all our tech briefly worked perfectly and over time we threw it all away for sleek menus and corporate opacity

"we could give you a link to this mp3 OR we could run it in a proprietary player app that must connect to the internet every time you hit the resume button"

when i upgraded from a flip phone to an iphone and realized i could no longer record and set a custom ringtone because apple wanted me to buy radio pop ringtones, i realized, oh cool new tech isnt made for us it's made to exploit us and we are going to let it happen

have you guys ever seen a crocodile with its fingies out

i'm learning that what's meant for me won't cost me myself

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

And this isn't a broken-up couple on the rebound. They've absolutely always been like this with each other save for the 11 months they were married, during which time every single day was a murder-suicide risk.

Two people who are each other's absolute everything unless you try to make them share a kitchen and a budgeting system

one thing about me is i’m gonna go lay down

My doctor insists i cant eat clown food and that its bad for me

What even is clown food?

The food that they feed clowns to keep them docile and colorful

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling