dumb, hilarious bitch

*at a family gathering* you’re all like coworkers to me

it should be illegal for things in drawers to accumulate dust. you were IN the drawer WHAT is your problem

sorry about me. or youre welcome. depending

sorry to hear that you haven’t been feeling all that great lately. Do you want me to hunt you for sport

no worries if not. will be thinking of you regardless

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

turn your attention to The Character

not many people know this but when talking about your multiple pronoun-using friend you build up a combo meter for every subsequent unique pronoun you use

ⓘ Tip: while sewing, you can unlock scary sewing by losing your needle somewhere on your bed.

Gosh I’d love to give it a try. It’s just so hard to find the time with all the *describes a daily schedule that is 65% dilly-dallying*

sometimes people will make you feel stupid for being kind. this makes it hard to stay kind. it is important that you do anyway. if you have become unkind, it is important to remember that you can become kind again. it's a skill, not an inherent trait.

If I were a snake I know it'd feel good as fuuuuuck to just stick out my tongue to sense my environment #mysurroundings