brains haunted

um. cut him in half

hot dog or hamburger style, boss

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

if Open Link in New Tab is wrong then baby i dont want to be right

marriage before thirties is so insane because you're barely a person yet

divorce before thirties however is chic beyond comprehension

whenever I confess to people that i feel like I am just roleplaying as a normal person they're always like noooo you don't strike me as someone who's roleplaying as a normal person at all!!! :) and every time internally im like well yes that's because I am excellent at it

Unofficial Autism Post

PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT

The Weeping Angels are really scary until you realize if any organism sees them they are fucked so they get hard countered by geckos, who don't blink and can see in the dark. If the Doctor strapped like two geckos onto him he'd be fine.

energy of an 85 year old who got freaky friday’d tbh

I care very much

"queer-owned business" means nothing anymore. OpenAI and Palantir are both queer-owned businesses.

if this is how you find out that both sam altman and peter thiel are gay im sorry

"women are tainted by their previous sexual encounters" doesn't become less openly misogynistic just because it's said by a woman btw

Having a "stupider people have done this" attitude about the things you want to do can open so many doors

Under communism the wait staff will not ask if Pepsi is okay. You will not even find out that's its Pepsi instead of coke until you take your first sip. Unless you train like me, to know the difference from the sound of the Fizz alone, that is the only way we can beat communism and I can teach you. Take my hand. Not like that you grabbed it gay. Stop. Giggles. I SAID STOP

NO DAD, air brushing unlicensed images of spongebob smoking weed on to t-shirts and selling them at a boardwalk was YOUR DREAM. i'm going to be a PROJECT MANAGER.

still genuinely incomprehensible to me that people wear shoes indoors. do you live in a mineshaft

multiple people in my immediate circle of acquaintances have seriously injured their feet indoors by not wearing shoes! either by stepping on small, pointy objects or stubbing their toes so hard they got nerve damage. some of us like to be protected! get yourself a cheap pair of house slippers or something. fuck.

why do you have small pointy objects scattered around on the floor of your literal home

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.