it's ok to eat fish

these long night air raids result in an interrupted shitty sleep which in turn grants me with nightmares and simply painful dreams about the war. and i hate how vivid stuff feels in these dreams, i don't need even more depressing painful feelings, i have enough of those in real life as it is

i never write anything here anymore because what's there to write about but war war war all life is about it and the constant state of despair and hate and tiredness and guilt stays in the background all the time whatever you do

finished persona 4. now what

just learnt that the person i couldn't forget and let go is now firmly and definitely out of my reach thanks to the war. not dead, thank god, but no potential for ever meeting again now. feeling kinda fucked and also very stupid that i still hold on to this one thing so many years later. pathetic