Living my chaotic best

Author’s Note: This is for @nsfwsebbie ‘s Secret Fanfic Writing Challenge and I’m writing @empower-bi-women‘s dream fic. As always mind the warnings lovelies and feedback is always appreciated :) Special shout out to my ride or die @lucifers-trash-stash​ and the amazing @darkficsyouneveraskedfor​ for bouncing ideas  and giving me some great suggestions.

Synopsis: Innocent maid Reader is hired by Steve and Bucky. Entranced by her flustered nature and untouched body, the super soldiers long to corrupt her and make her entirely theirs.

Contains: coercion boss/worker dynamic, slight dub con, dirty talk, edging, overstimulation, daddy kink and sexual content.

You lean over the counter slightly as you wipe across the marbled counter top. The lingering smell of the lemon scented solution you used earlier, still permeates the air. The little hairs on the back of your neck stand on end as you feel at least one pair of eyes boring into you. Watching you work.

You had only been working for Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes for a couple of weeks now, cleaning the lavish penthouse that they inhabited together. Initially, you thought it strange that two grown, well established men, would choose to live together, but upon meeting them, they assured you it was simply economical. That they were hardly ever home anyways. Constantly going out for missions, and saving the world and such. You were still amazed that you even landed the job, only submitting your application in a hopelessly optimistic gesture to leave your current unfulfilling minimum wage job. You never actually thought you would get the job. But apparently, they were impressed enough by your one on one interview and references from past hotels you’d cleaned for.

At first, the job was rather simple and easy. You would come in five days a week, clean from top to bottom and then quietly leave. Normally, Bucky and Steve were either gone completely or tucked away in their rooms. You hardly ever saw them. You were like a ghost, fluttering about and cleaning up after them. It hardly seemed to be worth it, given the insane amount they were paying you. They hardly left any mess for you to clean.

You’re not sure what changed, but something certainly had. Maybe they had grown accustomed to your presence? Maybe they were used to building a friendly relationship with their employees? You couldn’t be sure which. But more and more, the men would appear when you were working. Never lingering too far from you. Striking up conversations about seemingly benign topics or trying to engage you in any way they could. You always try to keep your replies respectful yet short to hide the way your voice quivers when they’re near. Turning your face away to hide the redness that tinges your cheeks. 

They were beautiful and they knew it.

Alpha!Steve Rogers x Omega!Reader

Warnings and various tags: A/B/O dynamic, mildly dubcon, smut, breeding kink, knotting, size kink, dirty talk, mating cycles/in heat

Story Rating: Explicit

Words: 1107

A/N: written for Shameless Hoes for Chris challenge by @navybrat817 and @stargazingfangirl18 - Happy Birthday Month! ✨Thank you for hosting! 🖤

and thank you to @imanuglywombat for beta reading ♡

Scenario/Trope Prompt: 10. Alpha + omega in an unexpected rut or heat situation (even better if they’re strangers 👀)

Summary:  You finally meet your Alpha.

-

It was your first day of work at the Avengers’ Compound and you decided to stroll around and get familiar with the place. 

Omegas like you usually worked as assistants and they rarely held a position of power. Despite that, you were proud of being one of them and you always kept your head straight. 

Still, you had to be stealthy and careful. You were an unmated Omega whose nature made you an easy target for unmated Alphas.

I’ve got some answers for you, Nonnie! 

I had a total of 15 responses (over 1,800k words!). Two of the responses were not “counted” in the overall evaluation because they did not provide an answer the anon’s question of “What’s the appeal of such large age gaps between Steve and Bucky?” (I’m a data scientist and I gotta draw that line somewhere, sorry). However, I still included those two responses in parentheses (*) where applicable in the charts below, to acknowledge their place in the discourse.

I’ve divided my observations into four categories. I’ll provide a little bit of quantitative data evaluation for each, as well as select excerpts from responses that I feel are representative of one or more consensus items. [Note: While neither me nor Nonnie defined “large” age gaps, the consensus in the responses seems to indicate the average to qualify as “large” or “too large” a gap was somewhere around 15 years (with some leaning 5-10, some as high as 20-25), varying widely.]

1 - Appeal

“What i like about age gap is one party having more experience and taking a sort of guide/care-taker role.” 

“It’s called… EXPERIENCE KINK! No to be honest though the age gap thing, for me, is all about being fresh-faced and innocent only to be absolutely swept of your feet by someone who knows how to SWEEP, BABY! Like weren’t we all young once and disappointed by the sex people our age were having? Also… it’s nice to be taken care of, doubly so when the person doing the caring has a sort of ease about it that comes from confidence only time can produce.”

“[…] in my experience older guys tend to be calmer and more considerate. Simply more mature […] It’s one of the reasons why I also like Daddy Kink. A Daddy should keep his boy or girls safe and take care of them, it’s a natural demand of that kink”

2 - Associations with Personal Experiences

“[…] fic is a safe place to vicariously enjoy a dynamic i’m into as a fantasy but don’t want to explore in reality” 

“The first time [I dated an older man] I just came out of a manipulative and somewhat abusive relationship. My new boyfriend had so much patience with me, while I figured out what I really wanted and he constantly checked in with me, giving me the safety and the knowledge that ‘no’ would be accepted […] Until I dated an older guy I had never experienced an orgasm that wasn’t by my own hand. The guys either didn’t care, simply cared more about themself, or even told me I was broken[…] Dating an older guy made me grow up and be secure in my own wants, so now I have a certain standard for male behavior that helps me keeping myself safe.” 

“For me it is the idea of someone with more experience who truly cares about the younger person and has no interest in taking advantage of them. The idea of wiping away my own hard life if there had been someone older there who cared enough to take care of me.” 

“I want to be taken care of, and guys my age (early 20s) just don’t do it right. They are still learning to take care of themselves, and older men just know better.” 

“My whole life I’ve been told I’m ‘older than my years'”

3 - Reader Experience Preferences

“I think logically it might be the safety of fiction and the fact that we can explore things like that without real world consequences.”

“I like that in fics because there we can imagine a world where that age difference won’t turn into power imbalance and an unhealthy relationship, something that is harder in real-life”

“I like feeling cared for and being able to place myself into the younger character is really nice! I can safely explore how I like to feel without having to do so irl, which can be scary and manipulative (like anything in the real world).”

ifeel like the age gap device is a rlly good way to show contrast between love interests and why need their partner… The younger one might need that older influence to feel taken care of and to learn perspective. the older one needs a new perspective to feel young and hopeful again? I like it”

4 - Acknowledgement of Potentially Problematic Situations/Content

“For me, age gap in real life sketches me out a little if it’s quite large, but it’s not too bad. I can totally live with it in moderation. In fics, idk something about it is just HOT.”

“I’ve read fics with larger age gaps (i think the biggest is 16 years) and too me thats too old, just cause i could see the gap ending up being problematic. Honestly tho as long as both partners are legal and happy and consenting in the relationship its okay”

“Age gaps purely as a 'kink’(?) I get can be problematic, but like you said in your fics they’re plot points, and I don’t read those really (but if they’re done right they can be very hot and great to read).”

“I think as long as its properly tagged as AU, written for the purpose of those who are looking for that kink, not shown as a common thing in queerness, it’d be fine.”

—

And there you have it, Nonnie! Hope that answers your question <3

Side note: I love all of you so much for participating. I am humbled to have such incredible, intelligent, critical, thoughtful, mature people reading my fic. If I’d ever felt the need to baby you guys when it comes to curating your content for you (which I honestly never did), I certainly don’t feel that need now.

I want to finish off with a quote from a deeply personal story that one of the anon’s bravely sent me (and if it was you, I really hope you don’t mind me using so much of your story, and thank you for sharing it):

I really enjoy thoughtful qualitative research like this and I think we need more of it in the fan fiction community! Sharing our experiences with each other and having them compiled into one source we can look back on is how we will learn and grow with each other!

I’m gonna start this off by saying that I’ve done a total 180 in the matter of 24 hrs. Yesterday, I was feeling pretty good because of all of the support that I saw. I went to sleep. I woke up and logged into tumblr dot com, saw a few asks and responses, and now I’m just angry. I feel like there’s a lot of white and non black POC voices that mean well, but aren’t really helping the situation. I’m not going to name names because this isn’t meant to be any shade, but I think a Black voice needs to be heard. I think this is yet another learning opportunity for all involved. I’m not angry at specific people (Hannah aka KentuckyBarnes is not included in this statement - i am vehemently pissed off at her specifically), I’m angry at this whole thing. 

I would really appreciate it if y'all would stop coddling these white women, and this goes beyond Hannah. This is going to be hard for some people, but they have to sit in what they’ve contributed to this situation. Rubbing their back and telling them how wonderful they are is not going to help them correct their future behavior. We have to let these things be hard for white women. As a friend, you are absolutely allowed to stand with them. What you cannot do, is shield them from ridicule. Everybody needs to put their big girl panties on and deal with what they’ve done, said, written, spoken, or anything else.

“Hate” is telling someone to kill themselves and hurling unwarranted, unjustified insults. It is NOT telling someone that they’ve silently contributed to fandom racism by continuing to be friendly with someone who has perpetrated said racism. Sure, the tone is not always right, but that doesn’t mean that the message or the intent is hateful. It is forcing someone to reconcile their previous actions with their recent ones. 

Removing white coded language and headers for your fics after this incident has come to light, IS NOT ENOUGH. Making a post (that doesn’t even mention Hannah by name, nor the situation at the center of this) IS NOT ENOUGH. Suddenly following Black writers and reblogging and commenting on their work IS NOT ENOUGH. PERIOD. It’s a start, but don’t think you deserve praise for doing something that should have been done long ago.

Real work needs to be done in this fandom and it needs to be done PUBLICLY. Not just behind the scenes, not just in your social circle, but ON YOUR BLOG. You really want Black readers and writers to believe that you and your blog is a safe space? STAND IN YOUR MISTAKES. NAME THEM SPECIFICALLY. APOLOGIZE FOR THEM SPECIFICALLY. Don’t beat around the bush with pretty words and talk about what you’re going to start doing. ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT YOU’VE DONE – and not because somebody has come into your inbox calling you a racist, but because you honestly want to be transparent and want people to know what you do, and do not stand for. 

People are allowed to be angry. Let them be angry. 

This is going to hurt. Your friends, your favorite writers are going to hurt, but they still need to hear, see, and feel it. Hurting is not a bad thing.

Don’t coddle. Don’t shield. Please.

I have been working a lot, redecorating my house, having some real emotional issues, and of course dealing with the ramifications of COVID in my familial and social circles.

But clearly I seem to be feeling better because I am now posting this and ~interacting~ again.

So here’s what I have been working on!!

some original fiction that won’t ever see the daylight lol

A Latina!Reader x Stucky fic that I am revising (it was formerly an OFC x Stucky fic but the Stucky fandom really ain’t about the OFC life??? Idk why y’all)

Thinking A LOT about domestic Alpha!Steve and Omega!Reader in Let It Snow and what their life consists of from the time we left off up to when they have their second child 🤭

Feeling really really really bad and lost about Brooklyn’s Sweetheart???? Like I have so many ideas for the plot but i feel like I’ve lost control of the characters and I just don’t want to write it anymore ugh 😩 someone tell me what to do about it

ALSO I hit 1000 followers and I was thinking about doing something special for it! But maybe that something will literally just be posting anything at all lol

Okay so this has been my updates, I love you all and thank you guys so much for following me (idk why anyone follows me in the first place but I appreciate it)

Our Brave nurse! I’m sorry to hear you’re so tired. I wish I could roll you up in a blanket so you could nap for days.

I hope one day your original work does see the light of day at some point cause you are SO FUCKING TALENTED!!!

Please note that none of these works are written by me and all credits are returned to their respective owners. I’m just here to provide a list of fics that i personally love so that you guys can enjoy too!

Updated: 26/7/20

Legend:

🦋One-shots/Imagine/Headcanon

🌼 Completed Series

❄️ Uncompleted Series

Dark!Steve X Reader

🦋 Best Day of Our Lives by @nellblazer​ 

🦋 Can’t Help Falling In Love by @kittykatlow​

🦋 Daddy Dearest by @cherienymphe

🦋 Du Darfst Mein Bestrafer Sein by @mariessecretfantasies​

🦋 His Omega by @multifxndomtrxsh​ Alpha!Steve

🦋 Little Red Riding Hood (Part1) (Part2) (Part3) by @kittykatlow​ Alpha!Steve

🦋 Mein Teil by @nellblazer​ Vampire!Steve

🦋 Pearls Before Swine by @tansypoisoning Yandere!Steve

🦋 Pool Party & Uncle Stevie (Part1) (Part2) (Part3) by @steveodinsonbarnes​​ StepUncle!Steve

🦋 Private Eyes are Watching You by @nellblazer​

🦋 Reader makes a deal with the devil by @steveodinsonbarnes Devil!Steve

🦋 Sheltered by @p8tn0lish​ 

🦋 The Evolved (Part1) (Part2) by @the-soulofdevil Yautja!Steve

🦋 The Good Guy by @harryspet​

🦋 The Man Next Door by @steveodinsonbarnes​

🦋 The Professor by @itgetsdarksometimes35​​

🦋 Treasure Hunt (Part1) (Part2) (Part3) by @giorno-plays-piano Dragon!Steve

🌼 All Heaven in a Rage(AO3 link) by @jtargaryen18

[Tumblr Links: (Part1) (Part2) (Part3) (Part4) (Part5) (Part6) (Part7) (Part8) (Part9) (Part10) (Part11) (Part12) (Part13) (Part14) (Part15) (Part16) (Part17) (Part18) (Part19) (Part20) (Part21)(Part22) (Part23) (Part24) (Part25) (Part26) (Part27) 27/34]

🌼 Let it Snow by @spacesnail3000​ Alpha!Steve

🌼 My Right to Purge by @nellblazer​ Dark!Steve/Bucky

🌼 Tapestry by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor​ King!Steve

🌼 The Distraction by @sherrybaby14​

🌼 Unhappily Married (Part1) (Part2) (Part3) (Part4) (Part5) by @cherienymphe​

🌼 Wild Love by @kittykatlow​

❄️ A Gentle Frost (Part1) (Part2) by @jtargaryen18​

❄️ Belong Here (Part1) (Part2) (Part3) (Part4) (Part5) by @angrythingstarlight​

❄️ Die Besessenheit {AO3 Link} by @imanuglywombat​

❄️ Into the Woods by @feliciahardyn​

Fanfiction is fiction.

Fictional people are not real.

Fictional people do not have rights.

Fictional people cannot be abused.

Reading or writing about something does not mean the desire to do or support it in the real world.

If I find art upsetting/triggering/disgusting/outraging/unpleasant/squicky/distressing/offensive, it is on me not to read it, not the creators and hosts to remove it.

Curate your own experience. The back buttons exist for a reason.

If you don’t trust yourself to do that, get someone you trust to do it for you.

Fandom is an adult space. Adults create and own and host fandom spaces. If minors want to participate, then the onus is on them and their parents/guardians/trusted adults to ensure they participate appropriately, not on strange adults to stop being adults.

You often don’t know the assault status or mental health status or neurotype or race or nationality or religion or gender or sexuality or age of a creator or consumer, and they do not have to disclose to you to justify their fantasy.

AO3 is not a safe space. It is not intended to be a safe space. Proceed accordingly.

Just because you don’t like something or find it offensive doesn’t mean it is a “problem” that “has to be dealt with”.

Most characters in anime are not white.

There is no onus on you to reblog or share anything.

Everyone makes mistakes in fandom and is less than their best self sometimes.

Persistent pseudonyms encourage long term relationships.

Ship wars are stupid.

Someone else enjoying things does not impact on your own enjoyment of other things.

Tagging and warning is a courtesy, not a requirement. Assume any fic might contain untagged content.

Rating is an imprecise art, not a science.

Don’t hassle IP creators.

Most people who are in fandom are hoping to make connections based on a shared passion.

Trying to profit from transformative fanworks puts us all at risk.

No one is obligated to share your head canon or fanon.

Being kind rarely fails to pay off.

It is okay to block and remove people who make your experience unpleasant. You don’t have to placate them. (Learn from my mistakes).

Britpicking is a good thing.

You don’t have to justify why you like a canon/pairing/trope/kink. Sometimes navel gazing is fun, but you don’t have an obligation to explain yourself, especially to strangers. I share the overwhelming desire to refute an unfair accusation, but the people accusing you are rarely doing so in good faith, so you’re batting a losing wicket.

I’m not your Mum. (Well, okay, a very few of you can call me Mum or Mom, but if you are one of them you already know who you are ❤️)

i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i live 

most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white person 

ABO

Crush by @sapphirescrolls​ (Bucky Barnes x Black!Reader)

His Omega @multifxndomtrxsh​ (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Hunger by @searchforanotherway​ (Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x Thor x Reader)

Hungry Like The Wolf by @imanuglywombat​ (Steve Rogers x Reader x Tony Stark)

In Flight by @caffiend-queen​ (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Pocketful of Posies by @strawberrysoup​ (Avengers x Reader)

Property of @prplprincez​ (Bucky Barnes x Reader x Steve Rogers)

Saving Grace by @cherienymphe​ (Thor x Reader)