Murdoc's husband

THIGHS ASS OR BOOBS QUICK ANSWER BEFORE THIS BOMB EXPLODES

Arse. All day, mate. Anyone and their bleeding nan loves tits. It’s the easy answer. It’s what the amateurs go for. But me? I am a man of refined, dirty tastes. I choose arse, every single day of the bloody week!

A nice, plump, beautifully smackable arse? Mmm.

You can give 'em a proper, solid smack when they're walking past you in the corridor, you try doing that to a chest, can you? You can grab a proper handful of it when you're out on the dance floor, pull 'em in tight, and grind right up against 'em when you're absolutely rock-hard and the bass is rattling the windows.

Don't even get me started on the view when you’re properly shagging 'em from behind. Taking 'em from the back,there is absolutely nothing else like it in the world.

Uncle Murdoc is officially paying the price for peak birthday debauchery. My head is currently pounding, my throat feels like it's been scrubbed with wire wool, and I am quite frankly too buggered to even see straight right now.

I’ve just managed to crawl out from the gutter for two seconds to say a massive thank you for all the brilliant birthday messages yesterday. Your absolute devotion and worship truly is the best medicine... well, that and a greasy bacon sarnie, which I am currently trying to choke down without chucking it right back up.

Anyway, I see the inbox is absolutely overflowing with questions, but I won't be answering the rest of them until later on today, or tomorrow, if I’m honest. I need to lie down in a pitch-black room, down about four pints of water, and pray to the bloke downstairs that I survive this hangover. If this ruins my anti-aging routine, heads will roll, mate!

Love you lot, but leave me to suffer in peace for a bit. Don't make any sudden movements. Catch you later.

ANOTHER BLOODY YEAR OF ME! That’s right! The clock has officially struck twelve, which means we have successfully crossed the threshold into the single most glorious, earth-shattering day on the calendar, the anniversary of my immaculate birth! WOO!

Happy birthday to meeee, happy birthday to meeee, happy birthday dear MURDOOOOOOC...happy birthday to me! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

NOT DEAD YET! HAHAA! Him downstairs, old Satan himself, is just gonna have to wait a bit longer to collect on that contract, because Uncle Murdoc is still top of the world, top of the charts, and hands-down the finest, sexiest, most legendary green bloke to ever grace the universe!

The doctors said I wouldn't make it past thirty with my lifestyle. The jokes on them, the white-coated gits! And 2D, Satan, that blue-haired twat tries to give me a stroke every single day just by breathing my oxygen, and yet here I am, absolutely thriving! Immortal, mate! Pure bleeding steel!

You lot should be flat on your faces right now, on your hands and knees thanking the cosmos that you get to coexist in the same bloody century as a living rock god. So get to work! Flood my inbox with your worship, tell me how magnificent I am, and make sure you're pulling your fingers out for that People Magazine campaign today! I want that "Sexiest Man Alive" cover as a birthday present, and I want it now! Don't let your favorite leader down, you beautiful degenerates!

Right. I’m off to drink the rest of this champagne directly from the bottle and wreak absolute bloody havoc until Russ starts banging on the wall and threatening to throw my bass out the window.

Rickfinderzz Rick!!

@rick-sanchez-dating-sim

Mudz for you >:P