I have really made such a continuous string of bad decisions to end up at this point in my life huh 🙃

#extradirty

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@soybeans-365
I have really made such a continuous string of bad decisions to end up at this point in my life huh 🙃

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Feel like because I hate change I’m forcing myself to be okay with this… when in reality it actually feels super unfair to be treated this way and essentially be gaslighted 🙃
I don’t need an apology but??? Fuck??? If it’s going to be like this then ????? Do I rly want it lol
my patience is at an all time low
I just??? keep breaking my own heart???? lol
It’s that time again whereeee I just want to disappear

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think i need to turn everything off for a while.
relationships are fucking harddddddddddd
sad to think that these late nights together won’t last forever
you never know something’s going to be the last time until it already passes and idk if i’ll ever be ready for it to be the last time
we were never actually as close as I thought we were, huh?
And it would’ve been sweet
If it could’ve been me

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patience is a virtue
how can you spend the rest of your life with people who can’t be patient with you
sometimes I wish I could just disappear for a while
Every once in a (looong) while, I’ll feel a little sad about the friends that I’ve lost. But then I’m reminded that all of the people that are meant to be in my life are still here and I couldn’t be more grateful.
I’ve been hearing from other people a lot recently that it’s surprising how long I’ve been friends with my group(s) and how real and genuine it has continued to be. I’ve definitely had my fair share of poor judgments, but I gotta say, I think I did a real good job picking these people out (and have gotten very lucky with them as well!). There are still times where I feel like I’m not the best friend I could be and still look for ways I can be better. Again, I’m thankful for having these people in my life who continue to accept me, be patient with me, and love me through all these years (even though I can be the annoying baby of the group hehe). BUTTTT I’m also loyal af and will fight for you so (gotta give credit where it’s due LOL).
Ngl though, I think I’m a good ass friend and the fact that my friendships have lasted this long and are as strong as they are shows it (so I feel sorry for all of you who don’t have me in your life. LOL JK) But really, I just wanna say that I hope all of the friends that I’ve lost are doing well, truly. And I hope they’ve all found real, life-long friends who they can be themselves around and who will always love and support them, no matter how annoying they can get (haha, I kid).
(shoutout to my 20 friends. i love yall HAHA)
all my demons have your smile
I wish I didn’t need so many hours of sleep to function?? Or I wish there were more hours in the day so I could accomplish more things????? Don’t get me wrong, I love sleeping LOL but damn >:(

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I’m honestly so grateful for the people in my life.
Does this mean I did well on my ID final????