SOUTHE-LANDS

https://www.youtube.com/user/billvicars

and here’s the link to the website he puts in his videos:

💀💀

you gotta digest it.

“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”

Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”

But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:

“I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”

“You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”

“You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”

Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.

The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.

(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)

Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.

And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”

and we just never really think about it bc its so easy and simple to us that pretty much all of our sports are based around the concept of throwing things accurately

Personally, I’ve always like the combination of facts that A) We’re obscenely flexible compared to anything with else with bones B) We have crazy endurance and C) We’re DTF pretty much whenever. And whatever, for that matter.

internal organs are full of acid

eats poison for fun

can throw things like woah

can run for a long time even when normally you would get tired

flexy

my problem with a lot of the ‘humans are space orcs’ posts, is that a lot of the things that come up make biological sense, when you consider our rough body shape (i.e. bipedal and high intelligence)

we’re more energy efficient and good at being pursuit predators BECAUSE WE ONLY NEED TWO LEGS, that’s HALF AS MANY LEGS, so we use less energy to move, and in order to do this (and many other things) we need larger brains, that can handle things like balance easily, and because we have two limbs that aren’t used for walking, they can be specialized for object manipulation which easily leads to dexterity and accuracy, and an advanced collarbone and shoulder joint and muscle control that leads to throwing things

a LOT of humans are space orcs posts are just, imagine this species that should have evolved all the same things as us, but is absolutely SHOCKED by it because for some biologically unlikely reason they aren’t basically the same thing, a lot of criticism of scifi ends up being ‘the aliens look too much like humans’, but you know what, a highly intelligent apex species with advanced communication WOULD LOOK A LOT LIKE US, as an apex species they’d most likely have evolved as predators, and therefore needed binocular vision (at least), plus BIOLOGY REALLY LIKES SYMMETRY so two eyes two ears two nostrils bipedal high intelligence advanced vocal communication etc, …are pretty much all BASIC REQUIREMENTS of any species that would develop enough for space travel

if anything should freak out other species about us it’s probably our psychology not our biology, we have an ABSURD range of sociological behavior and emotional triggers, we can be compassionate easily to the point of sacrificing our lives to an altruistic cause (we do this regularly!), but also like … sometimes we murder each other because of parking spots

our social psychology is NOT conducive to developing space travel, we’re so VOLATILE and we form cliques that hate each other, WE’RE NOT SUITED TO BEING IN FRAGILE CONFINEMENT PROTECTING US FROM THE VACUUM OF SPACE, OH AND OUR PROPULSION SYSTEMS ARE BASICALLY SLOW BOMBS, WE’RE FUCKING IDIOTS WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE SURVIVED LONG ENOUGH FOR SPACE TRAVEL

*bump into wall* >_<

*gets pet* :3

*low battery* ;_;

*stick on a ledge* D:

our ability to belt out one entire three to five minute long song if we’re familiar with it like. suvi starts singing “hallelujah” to fill the quiet and is answered by liam all across the room in a p decent harmony. cora walks past and starts humming it enthusiastically even tho she can’t stay very long. gil joins in for the third refrain. ryder finishes it off with a passionate solo.

when they look around every alien is staring at them. vetra blinks and knocks her hands together. “that’s what you’re supposed to do when humans make those sounds right?” she asks kallo beside her, who mirrors her. everyone is a little stunned at the coordination and emotion in the performance and they all look equally moved. jaal might be crying. none of them know what a ‘hallelujah’ is, but they feel like they’ve come to understand it through this melody

they’re all extremely confused when all of the humans still continue on on their tasks without pause

whereas species like the mertrans, who have their own infectious expressive behaviors, can integrate with humans indefinitely. on long-haul ships, a sort of hybrid culture evolves, where mertrans will thrum their throat sacs to provide percussion for human singalongs, and humans develop dance steps for mertran scratch/thumping episodes.

smart pirates avoid attacking ships where this has happened. despite being clownish, these species are also some of the most warlike, and offering violence to a closeknit mertran/human group provokes a reaction that is not only well-coordinated and heroic but prone to very bloody pranks.

To make the human feel more accepted (as it is only logical) the Vulcans try to include aspects of terran culture in the ship’s day-to-day life, failing spectacularly at it.