My Life, Not Yours.

Just feeling darkness starting to come back into my life and starting to take control. I find myself not wanting to talk to anyone about how I feel but I also find myself trying so hard to hold back tears in sudden moments around others. I'm finding it harder to look for things to stay positive about and feeling constant guilt even if I've done nothing wrong. I am awake at night crying and I feel weight on my chest that know isn't there and I feel so hollow. I feel like no one likes me, like no one cares, I feel like I'm constantly taken for granted,talked down to, and constantly under criticism. I feel that I have no one to go to about this who will understand because no one will care enough to listen. Maybe I just can't handle having an actual conversation about this with anyone. I feel dumb even posting about this but I need to get it out somehow and just for once do what I think is right for me and for once be selfish and not compromise. I feel so many things at once I feel like screaming, I feel anger, I feel sadness, I feel guilt, I feel out of place always. I just want someone to be my rock instead of always trying to be the one to be strong for others when they feel down.